Unidentified
by Silverael
Summary: Clarke is no one. Being an illegal immigrant in the United States, she only managed to get a job at the last company she thought of working for : Woods Enterprises, run by the family she despises the most in the entire world. Clexa AU.
1. Chapter 1

**Hi !**

 **Here's a story I've been writing for a while. I had the idea a couple weeks before Trump's election. I really hope things won't get worse for illegal immigrants.**

 **It may seem obvious but I still have to say this story is fictional. I tried to make it as realistic as possible and I hope it is, but there's still gonna be a lot of drama, anger and angst.**

 **I have written enough chapters to post twice a week for a while, so I'll be posting on saturday and tuesday.**

 **Tell me what you think of this beginning ! Enjoy ! :)**

* * *

It was raining outside and Clarke was staring at the window beside her desk, hoping it would stop before 5pm : the end of her long day of work.

It was 3:42pm and Clarke had been bored for at least three hours now. She had checked files, answered a few calls from silly clients and had played games on the computer. It was not the best job ever, but it was the only one she could get. She could not lose it, as she knew no one would employ her. There was an obvious reason to it : she didn't have the papers necessary to stay in town, if not to say to live in the country.

Clarke had been living in the USA for nine years now. She was twenty-one and the only reason she had been able to stay was because her mother had an important job in California. Her daughter had had the authorization to stay with her mother, but then Clarke turned eighteen and left the southern estate to fly away to the east coast.

She could not forgive her mother for letting her father being sent away by the authorities.

She sighed. How could she think about it _yet again_? The answer was another question : how could she forget ?

Her father had been sold out by its own boss. He was brought by force into a plane. And that plane had crashed.

How ironically terrible was that ?

And now – even more ironic – his daughter was working for the same company as he did. _Woods Enterprises_.

When she arrived in this town without any money – having struggled for three years in the country – she started looking for a job. No one was willing to employ her as she didn't seem trustworthy, not giving enough informations about herself.

So Clarke made up a whole cover, fake ID, and finally decided to apply for a desk job at Woods Enterprises' main company when she heard they offered payment in cash. The company had its own bank and liked to show how powerful it was.

Being paid in cash was her only possibility as she didn't have any bank account. She didn't have the right to open one. To the authorities, she was an illegal immigrant. She could not be discovered.

Clarke often thought about how her life could have been. She would have grown up in her father's country, France, or her mother's, Australia, and she would have had a normal childhood. Maybe she would've been studying in college right now. Something she liked, arts, or maybe something she hated. But at least she would've been giving herself a chance for a better future.

She rose. Raven had called her again, probably needing a hand on something, or just wanting to make fun of her because she was hella bored too. Whatever it was, Clarke was glad someone had gotten her out of her painful boredom. The one which always got her to think about her past and how it affected her present life.

''You're bored too, aren't ya ?''

Clarke wanted to yell 'HELL YES' as an answer to her colleague's question but contained herself. The room was huge and many people were sitting at their desk whether working or waiting for this eventless day to end.

''Not much going on, today. Tell me the first five weeks I've spent here weren't exceptional and that I'm gonna have things to do soon enough.''

''That's the first time I actually hear someone asking for work, but hell I feel you !''

''Do you know why is today so calm ?''

Raven hesitated a bit and finally got closer to Clarke to whisper :

''There was an important meeting this morning. Everyone was waiting for it up there. We weren't told because it's none of our business, but you know, birds are chirping.''

Clarke laughed, knowing what Raven was talking about. Birds were girls, and girls were Woods Enterprises CEO's favorite. Clarke knew deals were made between certain employees and the CEO, whether to get something for the first ones or to keep something a secret for the others.

Not that Lexa Woods, the most effective CEO Woods Enterprises had since its creation, had anything to fear from anyone. At the contrary, she was the one to be feared.

Clarke had never seen her in real life, but she knew how she looked like because her face was at least once a week in the newspapers. And let's not talk about TV, radio, or even the internet. Lexa Woods was so famous even the stars seemed to be looking at her.

Clarke didn't know her very well, and she clearly didn't want to. Working for her already outraged her. Woods' father had denounced Clarke's father and forced him into a plane straight to France.

And if only it had been just that, maybe Clarke would have let her anger go away. She could have joined her father after graduation. But it never happened, because the damn plane the Woods had put her father in had crashed into the Atlantic ocean.

Consequently, she wished to never have to meet her boss. If most employees adored Lexa Woods, as amazingly strong and gorgeous as she was, Clarke could not face her. Woods' face haunted her, not in the way that she would have liked.

''Hey, Clarke on Earth !'' Raven called.

Clarke nodded, not knowing what had been said, but still pretending to be following her.

''Clarke...''

''I'm listening,'' the blonde said, slowly getting back to reality.

Raven sighed and repeated what her recent friend clearly didn't listen to.

''I was saying Ontari wants it.''

''What ?'' Clarke blinked. Were we talking of 'it' _it_?

''You heard well. Ontari wants to get our dear CEO in her forbidden place.''

''What does she want ? The pride of having slept with Lexa Woods or a promotion ?''

''Both, obviously.'' Raven winked and grabbed her phone, offering Clarke to play a game with her.

No one was paying attention to them anyway. Not today.

It was finally 5pm and Raven and Clarke had just walked out of the building.

''Hey Clarke, I'm going out with friends tonight, wanna join ?''

Clarke wanted to say yes. Raven was really nice and she liked her other friend and colleague Octavia too. There was also Bellamy, that she had met, but he seemed to like her a bit too much and that was making her uncomfortable. Then there was Monty, always fixing some computer and talking to Jasper at the meantime. All of them worked at Woods Enterprises too, and that's how Clarke knew them. She couldn't tell whether Raven was talking about them or other friends because she had never accepted the brunette's invitation.

She always pulled out whatever excuse to refuse.

''I can't tonight, I'm sorry'', she simply said, hoping Raven wouldn't ask why.

''Again ? You must be a pretty busy woman !''

Raven looked at her seriously before bursting into laughter.

''I'm kidding. Relax, Richards ! I'll see you at work tomorrow. Enjoy your busy night !''

Raven left, without knowing she had just reminded her of the huge lie she was.

Clarke Richards, huh ? She couldn't have applied as Clarke Griffin to get a job at Woods Enterprises. At first she had thought of naming herself Clarke Kent, but her cover probably wouldn't have lasted long.

She laughed, alone in the street. She started walking, as if there was somewhere special for her to go. But there wasn't. She barely had a _somewhere_ , as she barely was a _someone_.

Parked near the beach, the only thing she had. It was an old car she had bought for a few hundred bucks. She had bought it recently, at the end of her first month of work. She had used all the money she had gotten from her job, leaving herself with nothing to survive this month.

But it would be okay, because she wouldn't sleep in the street anymore. Every night, she drove until somewhere she judged safe and fell asleep on the back seat. These past few days, she had awaken in the middle of the night, tortured by hunger or cold.

Winter had showed itself a couple weeks ago, and pushed Clarke to buy this old car which could barely roll for ten miles. But it was okay. Clarke wasn't complaining about it. It was her car. Her something after having nothing for what had started to become a 'bit too long'.

She walked to the car. She couldn't wait to park somewhere safer and get a few hours of sleep. She was exhausted. But when she arrived to the car, a silhouette suddenly appeared from the other side of the car.

''Surprise !''

Clarke couldn't believe it. It couldn't be...

''Finn ?!''

He approached her and took her in his arms.

''Finally. I found you.'' he whispered near her ear.

Clarke couldn't move. She had gone so far away and he had found her. Finn noticed her reaction and stepped away to look at her in the eyes.

''It's okay, your mom doesn't know you're here. I've been here since last tuesday for work and I saw you parking this old thing on the other side of the bridge. At first I thought I had dreamt but...'' He slipped a hand on the blonde's cheek. ''But here you are. I missed you Clarke. I want you to come back home with me. We can live together ! I swear your mother won't know anything !''

''Finn...''

''I love you, Clarke, I can't let you live like this.''

''Finn, I can't.''

Finn suddenly stopped talking. What ? She couldn't ?

''But, Clarke... we were happy together...''

Clarke knew she couldn't get rid of him like this. So she agreed.

''Okay. I'll come home with you.''

A wide smile appeared on the boy's face.

''I have to go back tomorrow, we'll leave the car somewhere and we'll go to the airport together. I love you, Clarke.''

''Love you too'', she said without thinking a word of it.

They had been together since junior year until graduation, and Clarke had really liked the boy for a year before he started to get on her nerves. He was too possessive and always needed to be right about everything. He enslaved Clarke and was one of the reasons why she had left. First her mother. Then Finn.

She almost slapped him when he laid his lips on hers and pushed her against the car, but she let him. There was only one way to get rid of him. And saying no wasn't an option.

So she let him grab her by the waist and take her inside the car. She let him do as they used to.

And a few hours later, when the boy was heavily asleep on the back seat, she slipped off of his arms and slowly pulled him out of the car, laying him down in the grass.

When he slept like this, nothing could wake him up until he had slept enough.

Clarke knew it and used it to escape him. She took the car and drove to the other side of the city, parking the car in a dark alley where she couldn't be seen. In a few hours, Finn would be gone.

He had to go back to California. Work had always been more important than her.

The car keys still in her hands, she closed her eyes and fell asleep on the driver's seat.

Daylight harshly woke her up. She looked at the clock. 8am. _Shit_. Clarke jumped out of the car, knocking her head on the door she hadn't opened fast enough. _Shit._ Where was she ? Too far away from her usual parking spot. She had at least fourty minutes of walking before getting to the town's highest building. _Shit. Shit. SHIT._

She had never been later than five minutes. And today she was going to be nearly an hour late.

She didn't have time to shower this morning. Everyday, she would go to the beach and use one of its showers. The water was cold but at least she could clean up a bit. Then she would change clothes. She had three outfits, as she had run away from home after spending a night at Finn's. She had decided it at the moment she had woken up in Finn's arms.

She couldn't bear it anymore. Escaping her mother by spending nights at Finn's. Escaping Finn by staying at home. She just couldn't do it anymore. She had to go as far away from them as possible. And so she had left.

She entered the building an hour and twenty minutes later than she shoud've had. She tried avoiding everyone but she got busted by a tiny group of office workers.

 _Oh, no. Not them again._

''Look at that !'' Murphy shouted. ''Richards is running late again.''

''But really _really_ late this time,'' Ontari added with a devious smile. ''A few minutes weren't enough, Richards ? You had to take an hour and a half ?''

Murphy took a step and Clarke's jaw clenched. If only she wasn't trying to stay as invisible as possible, she would punch each one of them already.

''Are you planning on sleeping with your boss to erase each hour of work you've missed ?'' he whispered, and Clarke couldn't keep herself from pushing him away from her.

Ontari seemed content about Clarke's reaction, because while the rest of the group was watching in silent, she approached Clarke with her lips forming a huge scar on her face. Was it supposed to be a smile ?

''Sorry, honey,'' she whispered unapologetically, ''but I'm afraid you haven't got a chance with our boss. I'm just saying... don't harm yourself trying.'' she turned back and left, Clarke giving her an expected glare.

The others followed her, except for Murphy who had to add :

''Not even the trash would want you.''

When they were all gone, and she was finally alone in the corridor, she let out a long sigh.

Just a normal day at work.


	2. Chapter 2

**Hi !**

 **I'm posting chapter 2 as the first chapter was short. Chapter 3 will be up on tuesday, as planned.**

 **Have a nice week !**

* * *

Her area's supervisor hadn't said anything about her running late. He simply had asked her to try and be on time. Sinclair was a nice guy and she was grateful he was her supervisor. The nearest office area had an awful supervisor who would yell at you and threaten to fire you anytime. Clarke was glad she didn't have Titus constantly yelling at her.

If he had been her supervisor, he probably would have fired her already.

Today had been a good day. She had been busy with one file all day and managed to solve its issue at the end. The hours had gone by fast and she wished it could be like this everyday. Her life would be easier to bear.

''See ya, Clarke !'' Raven and Octavia shouted, walking together to some pub they talked about at lunch.

Yet again, Clarke could not join them.

She walked for nearly half an hour to the spot where she had left her car this morning. She drove to a spot she liked near the beach. No one usually came, at least not when she was there.

She could sleep without fear of being attacked by any drunk guy.

She woke up at dawn and walked to the beach to take a shower. Before buying her car, she had bought a bottle of soap and one of shampoo, and even though she had been careful not to use too much everytime she showered, the bottles had emptied after twenty-nine showers.

Clarke didn't shower everyday, she didn't have time for it, and it was getting colder and colder. Soon she wouldn't be able to stand on the beach only wearing her underwear while cold water was slipping down her skin to freeze it.

Today was probably her last shower for a while. She stood in the sand, waiting for the icy air to dry the water on her skin and in her hair. She didn't have any towel.

She looked at the ocean. She never thought of swimming in it. She couldn't even walk in the water. It freaked her out. She had tried to swim in a pool a while after her father's death but had panicked. She saw the plane crashing in the ocean. Water swallowing it. And her father's screams being shut out by the waves pushing him under the water. She saw him slowly disappearing.

She had almost drowned.

Since then, she hadn't stepped a foot into water.

She was freezing cold. She had put clean clothes on after cleaning her last outfit under the shower. She did what she could to stay as clean as possible. She couldn't let people see that she lived in a car.

She was at her desk an hour later. This time, she was on time. She started reading a couple files which apparently had a connection she had to find. It wasn't really hard, but the company had tons of files employees had to go through everyday. One or several files for each client. And damn there were millions of clients.

She took a break at 11am and was walking through her office area when a voice called her.

She looked at the one calling her. A blonde guy she only knew because of Raven.

''What do you want, Wick ?'' she asked, getting closer to hear whatever he was whispering.

''I was wondering if you had a few minutes to help me with something.''

He looked at Clarke, waiting for some reaction and Clarke just gave him an interrogating glance.

''Alright, I have this file Sinclair has put me on. I'm not supposed to talk about it because it's a really _important_ file but... I need help with it. Sinclair only gave it to me because he trusts me.''

''Come on, tell me what you need help for.''

Wick smiled. Seeing Clarke's face he surely had won the girl's help.

''Okay. There it is. Sinclair asked me to translate it, that's it, but I was never really good at it. I guess I should've paid more attention to french class in high school'', he laughed, a bit embarrassed.

But Clarke stopped moving. Her whole brain had stopped focussing at one word. _French_. Did he say french ?

Clarke only spoke it with her father. And that one was dead.

At first her mother wanted Clarke to only speak english, but Jake Griffin liked teasing Clarke in french. He had started when Clarke was only a toddler and, seeing his daughter liked it, he went on speaking french to her. Clarke had learnt french at the same time as she had learnt english.

She was bilingual. But when they arrived to America, Abigail Griffin asked her daughter to forget about french, about her australian accent, she had to speak american english and nothing else.

Abby didn't want her daughter to be an immigrant. But Clarke had gone on speaking french with her father when they were alone at home. It had been their thing for so long. Until he died.

Clarke hadn't forgotten french. She had kept reading french literature and watching french shows on her laptop, but at some point it was too much for her. French couldn't be _her_ thing. It was _their_ thing, her father's and her's.

So she forbid herself speaking french. Listening to french. Thinking in french.

And there she was, in front of a file entirely written in french. And she was asked to translate it.

''What makes you think I'm any better than you at translating ?'' she asked, annoyed.

''You're better than me at everything,'' Wick laughed. ''Please, help me. I only have translated one page and I'm not even sure it's correct.''

Clarke thought for a moment that she couldn't do it, it was way too much asked, but Wick's troubled face convinced her to help him. Clarke always wanted to help everyone, even if she was currently the one who needed help the most. But that she would never admit.

''Okay, I'll do it.'' she said before being wrapped in two strong happy arms.

''Thank you !'' he kissed her on the forehead and Clarke returned to her desk with a smile on her face.

It had been a while since she had last made someone happy. It wasn't much, but Clarke realized she really needed that. Putting a smile on someone's face.

She translated all fifty-eight pages of the file in two hours, while it would have taken days for a non-fluent person. Probably weeks for Wick.

She added a few comments along with the translation as many informations or lines were quite subtle. Especially the transcription of a recent meeting between the subject of the file, Nia Blanquet, CEO of Azgeda Corp., other company owners and the one who had the upperhand on them all : Lexa Woods, as the CEO of the biggest company the world had ever known.

Nia Blanquet used way too much french to be sincere. The file was written for a french ally of Azgeda Corp., and Clarke knew Woods Enterprises weren't supposed to have it. Apparently, there was a cold war between the two companies and Woods was trying to get as many informations as possible.

Clarke thought of it for a moment before sending the translation to Wick through her professionnal mailbox. She only used it here when it was needed. Otherwise she couldn't access it as she didn't have neither a computer nor a phone. She couldn't have a personal mailbox.

She couldn't contact anyone. And she considered it a good thing because she didn't want to be contacted by her mother. Finn had already contacted her and she had pushed him away. He shouldn't be back for a while, hopefully never. Finn was too busy with work and his trips were rare. If he had to come back for Clarke, it would be in months, or years. At least Clarke hoped so.

She just wanted him out of her life for good. Same for her mother.

She was going to take a break out of the room when her wrist was grabbed and she heard Raven whispering into her ear ''Hey Clarke, look !''.

Clarke looked at Raven, confused, and followed the brunette's glance to the entrance of the room. She raised her chin as she watched Ontari coming in in a more than odd way.

''Look at her hair'', Raven said, ''her shirt... oh, her eyes...''

''her lips'', Clarke finished.

''The bitch actually did it !'' Raven nearly yelled, and Clarke told her to calm down a bit.

As if Ontari's behaviour wasn't enough, she walked towards them and stopped beside Clarke.

''I'm afraid you'll never get it as good as I just did, Richards'' she winked and walked to her desk.

Clarke rose her eyebrows and sighed.

''Maybe you should try and prove her the opposite'', Raven whispered.

''That girl really have no dignity'', she said, more to herself than to Raven.

Clarke turned around to face her friend and answer her friend's previous comment.

''I'm not this kind of girl.''

She walked out of the room, taking the break she desperately needed.

A few hours later and she was out. She walked all the way back to her car, but never found it.

 _I left it here this morning. I'm sure of it._

She was, and after a moment of thinking and looking around, she had to come to the conclusion that her car had been stolen. She sat on the pavement, not believing the only thing she had had been taken from her.

Not only the car itself, but also the few things she had put in the trunk. Her clothes. Her toothbrush. Hairbrush. _My father's watch_. She had left it in the car because of her father's initials right under the clock. She couldn't let anyone see it, especially in a place where his name was known, so she had left it in her car.

 _And now it's gone_.

She tried not to scream, but the pain was running down her throat to strike her chest, and tears started rolling down her cheeks. She couldn't believe the cruel fact that she had even less than she had before.

 _Nothing. I have nothing._

She stayed on the pavement until cold dried each of her tears. She rose and started walking. She had to find a street safe enough to sleep in.

* * *

''Richards, you're late again.'' Sinclair noticed.

Clarke nodded apologetically. She had been so cold last night she had barely slept. Yet it had been the fourth night she had spent in the streets since her car's theft.

''I'm sorry, sir, it won't happen again.'' she apologized.

''You keep saying that but it doesn't get better. I hope you will learn to be on time, and fast.''

''I will. I'm really sorry.'' She was about to join her desk when Sinclair called her back.

''Clarke. The boss wants to see you.''

Clarke froze. The boss ? Lexa Woods ? Why would she want to see her ? It couldn't be because of her arriving late everyday, Woods had people in charge of her employees. Then why ? Clarke didn't do anything wrong.

''You were supposed to be in her office two hours ago. It wasn't the right day to be three hours late, Richards.'' he said before getting back to his own office.

Clarke stood still for several minutes before being able to move again. She never expected to meet Lexa Woods, even less after being asked by her. Clarke wasn't the kind of employee who was called to their boss' office. She was the discrete one. And she really hoped she had been discrete enough, because meeting the daughter of the man who had sent her father away from her was hard enough for the CEO to complicate it even more.

She was in the corridor adjacent to her working room when she felt something bursting into her hair. She turned around and received something else in the chest. It was viscous, Clarke recognized the smell immediately. Rotten eggs.

She opened her eyes when the throwing stopped. She felt a silhouette passing near her and heard :

''Have a nice meeting with our dear CEO.''

Ontari and Murphy left, laughing out loud about their terribly funny joke.

She looked at her reflection in the elevator's mirror. She definitely looked like crap. She couldn't have showered these past four days as she was too far away from the beach. She had cleaned up a bit every morning and at the end of each day in the building's washrooms, but it was nothing like an actual shower.

Now she was covered with eggs. And because it wasn't enough, they had to be rotten. Clarke was mad, but had to contain herself from killing the two assholes who had nothing else to do than humiliate her.

The doors opened and she asked her way to the CEO's office. She was brought there and, without having time to mentally prepare herself, she was inside Lexa Woods' office, standing a few meters away from the woman's desk.

The CEO didn't even look at her. She was staring at a bunch of papers she had on her desk. Clarke stared at the woman for a few seconds, not believing she was seeing Lexa Woods for real.

She swallowed hard. _Just remain calm and everything will be okay_ , she tried to reassure herself. She hated the Woods. And she had one in front of her. One who wasn't even paying attention to her.

Until the brown-haired CEO finally spoke, still looking down at her papers.

''You're the one who read one of the company's classified files without my consent.''

Clarke couldn't believe it. Was she being blamed for helping with a file nobody else could read ?

''You're the one who gave that file to someone who doesn't speak french any more than you do.''

Woods finally raised her head, staring at Clarke with an intensity that stabbed the blonde in the chest. Not quite the heart, but Clarke did understand why so many people had fallen at Lexa Woods' feet. She was already a gorgeous green-eyed brunette, but she also inspired respect. Or at least, a fear strong enough to keep you from attacking her.

Exactly like Lexa's father, Woods Enterprises' former CEO. Exactly like the man who had _killed_ Clarke's father.

''Your translation was impressive'', the brunette said, surprising Clarke who had thought about her soon-to-come painful death. But even though Woods looked fierce, she also seemed grateful for what Clarke had done. Grateful but suspicious. She wanted to make sure Clarke's intentions weren't against her company. ''I took a look at your application. We keep all of our employees' resumes. There is no mention of your ability to understand french.''

There was no question, but it clearly was one. Why did Clarke speak french ?

''I didn't think it useful for a desk job as simple as my current one. But if you want, you can add spanish and a bit of chinese too,'' she answered.

She didn't really speak spanish nor chinese, but she did have taken these classes in high school. She knew enough to prove she hadn't fully lied if necessary.

The way her boss was looking at her was making her uncomfortable, which was surely the goal of it. She felt like her whole self was being investigated and that her secrets would be discovered by only one glance. But she remembered that she was covered in rotten eggs and that it was probably the reason why Lexa Woods was looking at her this way.

It didn't seem unusual because the CEO didn't seem surprised of seen yet another of her employees covered with gluant things.

Looking at her with more attention, Clarke noticed there was a bit of amusement on the woman's face.

''Why did you ask for me ?'' Clarke asked. She just wanted to walk as far away from this office as possible.

The brunette regained her serious expression to answer.

''As you must have noticed, we don't have any translator for our meeting with the French. I'd like you to become my personal translator. I'll ask for your translation when needed, and you'd be at your desk doing what you already do the rest of the time.''

That would be extra money. It was a very interesting offer.

''No.'' Clarke answered.

She couldn't accept it. She was already working way enough for the Woods. She couldn't bear regularly seeing her boss' face. It would remind her of her dad's death more than her crappy current life already did.

The brunette raised her chin. She clearly didn't expect this answer.

''No ?'' she asked.

''No. I like my current job and I don't want to change anything,'' she lied.

Woods was even more intrigued now. Who really liked a boring desk job ? It wasn't so tiring, but it could get really boring, and employees usually started from there to get higher. No one would refuse such an offer. No one wanted to stay on the first scale.

She rose and joined Clarke, stopping a couple feet in front of her, looking for clues into those _intense_ blue eyes. She felt Clarke stiffen. There was something odd with this girl.

''What do you want most in life, Clarke ?''

She had called her by her first name. It wasn't usual around here, being called this way by your superior. Yet Lexa Woods did, and it pissed Clarke off in a way never done before.

''I don't know,'' she spit. ''I just like my job for now. Do you mind if I keep it as it is ?''

The brunette kept staring at her deeply.

''Why did you accept helping on the file ?''

Another question. Another doubt from the CEO. Clarke answered calmly.

''I was asked. I could help so I did.'' She couldn't move, but she could speak, so she added : ''Not everyone is bad, Miss Woods.''

 _Except you and your bloody family_ , she added to herself. Lexa looked down, nodding with her eyes, and turned toward her desk.

''Well, I personally thank you for your help on this file. I hope you will keep my offer in mind. Your help would be more than welcomed.''

She got back to her desk and Clarke knew it was her time to go. She simply left the room, glad it was over. There was something about Lexa Woods that made her uncomfortable but also confused. She had always hated the Woods, but she wasn't sure she'd be able to show her boss how much she hated her. She wasn't just impressive, she was also able to make someone feel safe. And Clarke was absolutely mad about almost saying yes to her.

''So ?'' Raven asked when Clarke returned to her own desk.

''So nothing. She offered me kind of a promotion and I declined it. End of story.''

Raven's mouth fell as she was trying to understand why Clarke had declined such an offer.

''Don't ask why'', the blonde said, ''I just didn't want it.''

Raven didn't say anything. She didn't know what to respond. She only saw how confused Clarke was, and thought that Clarke probably already knew how stupid her decision was. Or maybe Clarke had a good reason for refusing, which Raven doubted.

But Clarke did. And the blonde knew that without this reason, she would've probably liked meeting her CEO. Actually, there were some things she liked about Lexa Woods. But her mind couldn't accept liking anything about any Woods.


	3. Chapter 3

For three weeks everything had been quite calm at work. Clarke hadn't been asked to translate anything and she had just went on with her simple desk job. Simple ? Boring. But at least it was a job.

Clarke looked around the room. Locker room. Once she was sure no one else was here, she opened her locker and took some money out of it. She had been paid recently. She was paid every two weeks and had decided to keep the money to buy clothes, food and soap. She would not put money aside to buy a car after what had happened with her last one.

She was thinking of buying a wooden house someday, but she'd have to leave town for it, because there weren't any woods nearby. _Well, except for Lexa Woods, obviously_. She closed her locker and left the room.

''Hey, Raven !'' she called out right before leaving the building.

Her friend was already outside with Octavia and Jasper.

''Can I come with you tonight ?'' she asked, surprising everyone.

''Richards has finally decided to join us,'' Raven mocked her. ''Sure, come !''

They went to a bar and Clarke bought a beer. At first, she didn't want to waste money on alcohol, but when you're sleeping in the streets in winter, you'd gladly use some alcohol to warm you up. Furthermore, each minute spent inside a warm place was each minute _not_ spent outside.

''So, tell us Clarke, which one do you prefer ?'' Octavia asked with a wide smile.

Both Raven and her were looking at a bunch of people playing pool. Clarke smiled. Her friends were already drunk. Jasper was dancing with his girlfriend, Harper, who had joined them about half an hour ago.

Clarke looked at the group for a minute. She had been avoiding everyone for so long to keep her secret safe. She couldn't say she didn't need human comfort. She looked at her beer. She would not drink more than three to avoid spilling her secret out under the effects of alcohol.

She stared at the group again. There was one she found cute, and so she smiled.

''I like the brunette,'' she said before getting up.

''I knew you liked girls too !'' Raven happily shouted.

Clarke laughed. Spending time with her friends made her joyful, especially when alcohol was included. But she hadn't lost her mind, and she wasn't planning to.

She approached the brunette girl she had seen from her table and whispered something in her left ear. The girl seemed to like it because they started a conversation together and, a few minutes later, they were dancing together. Fifteen minutes and a lapdance and the brunette threw herself on Clarke's lips.

Clarke winked at her friends while the other girl was pulling her by the hand to the bathroom.

''I didn't expect her to be that good,'' noticed Raven who thought she had dreamt what had just happened.

''I'm wondering why she didn't try this on Woods, she could get hell of a promotion,'' commented Octavia before taking a long sip of her cocktail.

Raven frowned. She remembered what Clarke had said about Woods' offer.

''She already refused one,'' she said to Octavia.

''What ?!'' Octavia couldn't believe it either.

''She wouldn't tell me why. She just went on with her actual job.''

That was weird. Clarke had always been discrete about her private life but refusing a better job ? Not even a shy person would do that.

* * *

The bar had closed, leaving Clarke alone in the streets. She had told her friends she was taking a taxi to go home, but she obviously didn't. She walked for a while before stopping in a little alley.

She sat against the wall in the darkest part of the ruelle. She had a nice evening. Better than those she had these past few months. _Years, even_. Yes, it was definitely nice.

 _That girl was nice_ , she smiled, remembering everything the girl had done to her. She wasn't going to see her again and that was a good thing. Clarke couldn't have it any other way.

After leaving the bathroom, she had returned to her table, cheeks red and eyes filled with pleasure. Raven had congratulated her and even asked her to teach her some of her tricks even though her colleague clearly didn't need her help.

Clarke had drunk a few other beers. She had stopped counting when her friends had left. They all had to work tomorrow but Clarke had said she'd stay a bit longer. She kept lying to them. She didn't have a choice.

And now she was dead drunk in a tiny ruelle. She was drunk to not feel the cold air choking her. She fell asleep, too drunk to think about how bad her situation was.

* * *

She was throwing up for the fourth time since she had woken up this morning at ten. Obviously, she had arrived late again. And as if it wasn't enough, she was now unable to join her desk, making herself even later than she already was, because her body had to get rid of all the alcohol she had swallowed last night.

Once she thought she was done, she rinsed out her mouth from the bad taste that disgusted her and cleaned her face up. She looked at her clothes. They were dirty. She had to buy new ones but definitely didn't have time this morning.

''You shoud've been here four hours ago.'' Sinclair said, his harsh tone striking Clarke down.

''I'm sorry, I...'' she tried before being cut off by the man.

''Enough. You're expected up there. You better get there fast.''

What ? What did they want from her ? What did _she_ want ? Because when Clarke arrived at the CEO's front door, she was nearly pushed into the office by an angry-looking woman who was probably Lexa Woods' assistant.

She was left alone with the CEO in the middle of the huge office. _A big office for only one person, huh_ , Clarke thought.

She was looking around the room, thinking about how even bigger than her former car it was, when she realized her boss was staring at her. No. Not just her boss. Lexa Woods. A Woods was staring at her.

She would've told her to stop staring but the brunette spoke first.

''I've heard you've been having some issues with arriving on time.''

Clarke suddenly felt colder than she already was from spending the night outside.

''Huh,'' she tried explaining.

If she were honest to herself, she'd admit she had drunk way too much and that she was probably – _certainly –_ still drunk.

''Tell me Clarke,'' there she went, calling her Clarke again, ''what are we supposed to do with an employee arriving later and later everyday dressed as she had just rolled on the floor all her way up here ?''

Her tone was calm, but Clarke sensed mockery. If she wasn't showing it, Lexa Woods seemed pissed, yet amused, and intrigued by Clarke's behaviour. It was really hard to tell and that was probably what scared Clarke the most.

If Clarke Griffin was a brave girl, drunk Clarke Richards was a bit impressed by the confident woman in front of her.

 _She's cute, though, even if I hate her._

''The least you could do is answer me, Clarke,''

''Huh,'' Clarke raised her head a little bit, meeting the CEO's eyes. She had to say something, but she didn't quite remember what she had been told. ''Do you need anything ?''

Lexa definitely didn't understand that girl. The blonde was standing in her office, red cheeks, pale skin, emotionally in between bushed and euphoric. Lexa slowly approached her, paying attention to each of the blonde's expression.

Clarke wasn't mad, just annoyed. She felt like nothing could piss her off right now.

''We do need your help on something,'' the brunette said, letting Clarke the benefit of the doubt. ''We have a meeting in twenty minutes with the CEO of a tiny yet flourishing french company, and I want you to transcribe the whole meeting in english. Whatever they say that's not in english, you translate it on paper. Understood ?''

Clarke curled her lip, trying to think this through, but it was becoming harder and harder.

''I declined your offer, you can't ask me to do it today.''

But Lexa gave an answer that Clarke couldn't talk through.

''Consider this a way of cleaning up your lateness.''

Twenty-minutes later, she was in a big meeting room with daylight coming through each window. _Too many windows_. _Too much light_.

The meeting started and Clarke had a hard time focussing. She didn't have much to write as the french businessmen were mostly speaking english. She hated their accent, though, and she was fighting her desire of breaking each window of this room and push Woods out of one of them as the few memories of her dad she had left were crushing her heart.

Her stomach ached badly. She needed to get out. But she couldn't. If she wanted to keep her job, make up for all the times she had been late, she had to stay until the meeting was over.

She had been in the room for nearly an hour when she rose and threw herself to the tiny basket near the room's door.

Everyone turned to look at her throwing up in the basket.

Lexa's doubts were confirmed, and she kept herself from yelling at Clarke for having ruined an important meeting. But the meeting wasn't important enough. It was, but not as important as whatever seemed to be going on with this girl.

How could the blonde be so wasted ? Even Lexa couldn't. And hell she had tried.

Clarke had been pulled out of the meeting room and brought to the CEO's office. She was told to sit on the sofa until the meeting was over but she stood exactly where she had been left.

The doors were opened and Woods' assistant was watching Clarke from her desk. _Why doesn't she just sit like everyone usually does ?_ The woman thought.

Clarke would rather stand than sit on the sofa. _We don't know what happened on this thing_ , she told herself while remembering Ontari's face after achieving her goal.

Clarke was tired and had to ask for her own basket to throw out in. It took fourty minutes for her stomach to stop playing games with her. She was sitting on the floor, the basket in between her legs, when Lexa came in.

If she had always taken fast effective decisions, today Lexa didn't know what to do with her employee. Clarke had potential. She could really help her out, especially during her meetings with Nia, but the blonde kept finding reasons to convince everyone that she deserved to be fired.

''May I know what's going on with you, Clarke Richards ?''

Clarke had nothing to answer to that. She didn't know what feeling was the strongest : shame for ruining everything and humiliating herself, or pride for ruining Lexa Woods' meeting and a likely new partnership ?

She kept her head down, not bothering to raise it. Whatever the other girl was thinking, she didn't care. Damn, her life was so messed up ! It was indeed a miracle she had kept this job for so long !

''I'd like to give you another chance,'' Lexa declared, not getting any reaction from Clarke.

Was the blonde even listening to her ? ''There will be another meeting this week. I want you to attend it in due form. It means clean clothes, no alcohol and we start on time, so try not to be late.''

Clarke knew she didn't have a choice on that one. _Like I ever did have a choice._

She stood up, grabbed her basket and nodded before leaving the room. She had nothing to say to Lexa Woods. Unfortunately she would be seeing her again next week. As if she hadn't had enough nightmares about her father's death.

* * *

Clarke had been sent home by Sinclair. She couldn't work like this.

She was walking out of the building, thinking about how ironic this was. If only they knew that by sending her home to make herself better they actually made it worse by pushing her out into the cold weather. It was starting to rain.

''Look at her, she looks like crap !'' Ontari's despising voice shouted.

''Have you tried taking a shower? I've heard it's a good thing against bad smell and dirty hair'', commented Murphy.

She ignored them. They wanted her to be mad, and she wasn't going to give them that. It's not like she could actually get mad because of two nasty comments after what had happened.

She laughed without thinking it would be taken as an insult by the two others who grabbed her and trailed her until they got to the fountain surrounded by benches between the skyscraper they worked at and another in front of the first one. One building was taller than the other but Woods Enterprises owned both of them.

They threw her into the fountain and walked away, satisfied.

''Finally, Richards takes a bath !'' Murphy yelled.

But Clarke hadn't heard. She didn't know how long she had taken, but the only thing she had thought about was getting out of the water. It wasn't deep, half way to the knees, but enough to frighten Clarke.

She was now lying on the floor, looking at the grey sky as rain was pouring down on her. She didn't mind the rain, she was already wet anyway.

Damn, if only she could do something about Murphy and Ontari ! _But I can't_ , she reminded herself. She couldn't risk being fired, neither she could risk having the police called on her. Nor ending up at the hospital. It was way too risky. She just had to ignore them. Whether they'd get bored of humiliating her or they would be fired for humiliating someone else.

* * *

Lexa had just finished reviewing a file and had decided to leave the office a little bit. It was late and she felt like she could use a drink.

Today had been a long day. She had at least five days like this one per week. She was drowning herself into work, not only because she had work to do, but because it was the only think that kept her going. She had plenty of reasons to live for her work.

But she wasn't going to go through them again tonight.

She parked her car and joined a bar she liked. She didn't go as often as people her age usually did in this town but she wans't always in the mood for being surrounded by people. But tonight, she was. And she didn't mind being close to others. Especially girls.

She hadn't expected this, though.

As she looked for an empty seat, she saw blonde hair shining in a dark quoin. She recognized the drunk blonde who had given her a weird reputation towards the French young entrepreneurs no later than yesterday.

She wasn't in the mood for a confrontation but she was way too curious about her not to go talk to her.

''I see you're making progress with your alcohol issue'' she said to the girl half asleep on the table.

She sat, meeting Clarke's eyes as that one was trying to hold a sitting position without falling back on the table.

When Clarke recognized her boss, she was ready to throw her glass at her face. So now Woods was haunting her outside of work too ?

''Fuck you,'' she let out, helped by the amount of alcohol in her blood.

Lexa wasn't surprised, seeing the girl's current condition, but she could admit that she liked the girl's courage. Drunk or not, insulting your boss was not the most ordinary thing. Especially her. How many people were now thinking of ways to impress her ? _I can't blame her for her honesty_ , she thought.

Clarke grabbed her half-emptied glass and was about to finish it when Lexa stopped her.

''I think you've had enough for tonight. If you keep going you'll be late again tomorrow.''

Was Lexa Woods worrying about work ? About her _stupid company_?

Clarke rose, leaving her glass in Lexa's hand.

''I'll drink somewhere else. I guess you also had to take my spot.'' she spit before walking away.

Lexa was confused. Was Clarke blaming her ? Why would the girl be mad ? Of course, the blonde was drunk, and people said stupid things when they were drunk, but there was always some truth in what they said. And Lexa decided to find out this truth. Learn more about this gorgeous blonde woman who was wasting herself.

* * *

 **That's it for chapter 3. What did you think of it ?**

 **It's a short chapter but the next one will be a bit longer. Cya !**


	4. Chapter 4

Clarke hadn't drunk for five days. At first she had been so mad at her CEO for finding her in that bar that she had kept on drinking and had been sleeping through her whole working day. But then she had looked at her locker and realized how much money she had spent in bars.

She had suddenly stopped drinking and it only had for effect to piss her off. She was always irritated and her whole body hurt. She had managed to find places in town where the wind was barely blowing, but her nights were still rough.

She was used to sleeping in the streets, but it was still hard to take. She would wake up every morning wondering how she made it through a night as cold. Somehow, she hoped for _the_ night to come. The one where the cold would be strong enough to keep her from waking up.

Hell, why was she even doing this ? _What am I fighting for ?_

Clarke Griffin simply was a survivor. She couldn't end her own life.

Raven watched Clarke walk by without even looking at her. Clarke had been pushing her friends away, and Raven could see on her colleague's face that something was wrong. If only she knew that things had been wrong for more than a week, maybe she could have helped her.

Clarke didn't stare at her reflection in the elevator. Clarke didn't look at anyone surrounding her in that little metallic box. Clarke didn't care. She probably looked and smelled like crap – metaphorically or not. She was probably going to ruin everything yet again.

Woods had given her a second chance, and Clarke was going to take it because she needed the money. _Maybe I could buy a huge blanket._

She walked towards the meeting room and sat calmly, waiting for everyone to come in and begin the meeting. She did as she was asked.

She was exhausted and really needed to go to the toilets but didn't say anything. She didn't move. Sometimes, she swore her boss had given her glares but she never looked up. She focussed on her paper.

At the end of the meeting, after the French entrepreneurs left the room, Lexa stood up, thanked everyone for their attitude during the meeting and let them leave before telling Clarke :

''Come with me to my office. I'd like to talk you.''

 _I don't_ , Clarke thought as she rose to follow her boss. She walked slowly, her stomach was aching and she really needed to go to the toilets.

When arrived to the CEO's office, she stopped near the entrance and decided that she wasn't going to move until she could go. She _really_ needed to go to the bathroom.

Lexa saw Clarke waiting near the doors and raised an eyebrow. Was the blonde afraid of her ? She definitely didn't understand her. Lexa Woods wasn't used to not understanding people. No one could lie to her because she read people more easily than she read a book.

Yet, there was Clarke Richards.

Clarke was about to tell her boss to spit whatever she wanted to tell her because she was about to let go. Her stomach was aching so much right now Clarke couldn't even consider the fact that her boss could actually be mad at her for insulting her at the bar a few days ago.

It wasn't important right now. She needed to get rid of that growing pain, which her body did.

Clarke was glad she was near the entrance because she barely had time to grab the tiny black basket before falling onto the floor to throw up her poor breakfast. Clarke usually didn't eat much but she had been quite hungry these past few days and had bought the cheapest food she could get, not the healthiest one.

She had almost forgotten about the brunette before she felt her presence behind her. Clarke waited a few seconds to make sure she could rise and did, slowly, not wanting to wet herself in her boss' office after having thrown up in her basket. _Not that it would change much_ , she told herself, thinking about everything she had already done.

If she didn't mind ruining Lexa Woods' days, she minded keeping her job. Consequently she had to contain herself a bit. _Metaphorically and physically speaking_.

She was on her feet again, staring back at the brunette. She already knew what Lexa was going to say.

''You're drunk again.''

Clarke didn't answer, because it would only make it worse. She wasn't drunk. Yet she was throwing up again. She couldn't be sick. She couldn't. So she'd rather let Woods believe that she was drunk.

''You've made progress,'' Lexa admitted, ''you were on time for the meeting and you did as asked. For that I'm grateful.''

''Huh,'' Clarke thought out loud. _Lexa Woods grateful ? Woods aren't grateful._

Lexa examined her. She wasn't exactly like last week. She was different. Not quite drunk. Yet, she added ''You can't go on like this. If you don't put yourself together before the end of the month, I'll have no other choice than to fire you. Your supervisor cannot be left with an empty desk. Be on time everyday, do every task given to you. Otherwise he'll have to find someone else to occupy your desk.''

The words were harsh, but expected by the blonde. Clarke knew she had to make some efforts to keep the job she couldn't survive without.

 _Seven years to the wooden house_ , she sarcastically thought.

Lexa kept looking at her the way that confused her and she realized an answer was expected from her. She was thinking of something to say when Lexa said ''Go home. Have the rest of the day off. Take care of yourself and come back tomorrow, cleaned up and healthier.''

 _Cleaned up, huh ?_ Clarke was obviously not very attractive right now, with dirt on her clothes and her hair a bit tangled.

Clarke wanted to leave. She could, right ? No. Not yet. Because her boss was still in front of her waiting for her to say something. And so she did.

''Fuck you, Woods.''

She calmly walked away, her lips forming a smile after noticing the stupefaction on her boss' face.

She just wanted to let her anger and pain out. At least once. While sober. And now she had, she felt better.

Somehow, she thought Lexa Woods wouldn't fire her for insulting her because she was the only one offering her a chance to stay.

Clarke walked straight to the bathroom. Finally.

Before getting out of it, she looked at her face in the mirror. She looked terrible. She was paler than ever but her cheeks were burning red. She wondered how she could keep a job at the world's biggest company looking like this.

She wandered in the building. She felt heavy. She needed to sit. There was no way she could make it to a safe ruelle outside feeling like this.

She crossed several corridors before giving up. She looked at the doors surrounding her and chose one with « STORAGE » written on it. She closed the door behind her and let herself fall near a shell.

She was exhausted. Being found sleeping in the building would probably get her fired, but at least she would've slept a few hours away from cold, rain, and every danger wandering in the streets at night.

* * *

Lexa had spent the last two nights working in her office. It wasn't the first time she didn't go home for several days, but this time it wasn't quite for the same reasons as before.

She was worried about her employee. Clarke's face and glance haunted her. It was the first time an employee had talked to her like Clarke did, but it was also the first time she had felt pain and sorrow from someone else than herself. She had tried to convince herself that she didn't care, but she did and she couldn't deny it anymore.

The sun was showing itself. Lexa had a meeting in two hours. She had told her assistant to ask Clarke's supervisor to tell her she was needed again. It wasn't an important meeting, and it wasn't just about the French entrepreneurs she was currently dealing with, but she wanted to see how Clarke was doing. Somehow she hoped nothing bad had happened to her since the last time she had seen her two days ago.

* * *

Sinclair watched Raven coming back from the archives with a bunch of files in her hands. He called her, and the girl walked to her supervisor's office.

''Hello, Reyes. Have you seen Clarke this morning ?''

Raven's smile dropped. She sighed. ''No, sir. She's still not here.''

Sinclair ruffled his own hair, anxious. Clarke really was an issue and he didn't know how to deal with her. ''The meeting is in ten minutes. I'm gonna have to tell Woods her translator isn't here.''

Raven suddenly had a terrible idea, so she quicky said ''I'll do it, sir.''

He looked at her suspiciously but let her go inform their boss for him.

Raven was probably going to regret her decision but she was way too worried to let it go. Clarke wouldn't talk to her, neither would she talk to anyone of them. Clarke was doing her best to hide it but she couldn't hide everything. Especially not what was going on inside her body.

* * *

Lexa was ready for the meeting which would take place in the usual room in less than ten minutes. She closed one of the files she was going to use for the meeting and took a deep breath. She just had to wait.

''Hey'', the doors had burst open and a familiar brunette was flying towards her, grabbing a chair to sit on her lap.

 _What the –_

The girl tried to kiss her but Lexa pushed her away, looking at the one who had just broken a thousand rules only to come here.

''Lambert, what are you doing here ?'' she asked calmly, her eyes filled with anger.

Ontari took a couple steps back. Did Lexa Woods push her away ?

''I thought you would –''

''No. And you better not try that again. Now, get out, before I change my mind and fire you.''

Ontari ran away from her boss' office. Damn, how Lexa Woods could be scary ! She had murdered her with her wonderful eyes. She stopped in the elevator, trying not to cry. She couldn't believe she had been rejected. The first time, everything had gone well. And now, she had failed.

Ontari had the confirmation of a certain rumor : Lexa Woods doesn't have sex twice with the same girl.

Which obviously made her even more desirable in Ontari's eyes.

Leaving the elevator, she raised her chin up while Raven was coming into the metallic box. Ontari will never be seen weakened.

Raven announced herself at the CEO personal assistant's desk.

''Come in, but she doesn't have much time,'' the woman said.

Raven thanked her and pushed the office's left door.

Lexa raised her head, hoping it wasn't Ontari coming into her office once again. Gladly, it wasn't, but she didn't know who that person was.

''You are ?''

''Raven Reyes. I was sent by my supervisor, Sinclair, to inform you that Clarke Richards is not here yet and she probably won't be attending the meeting.''

Lexa's jaw clenched. She tried not to show her worry, staying as stoic as possible.

''Thank you, Reyes.'' she simply said.

Raven hesitated. She was supposed to go but she didn't come here only to give the news.

''About Clarke...'' she started, getting the brunette's attention by only saying the blonde's name. ''I know you've met her a few times and that you haven't fired her. You've seen how she is, not quite the perfect employee, yet you let her be. So...''

''Sit.'' Lexa said, and Raven obeyed because she knew she was being listened to.

''I'm supposed to be her friend but I don't know how to help her. She never told us much about herself. She's been sick for almost two weeks now. She keeps going to the bathroom and I don't need to tell you about her being late every morning...''

''What do you think, Reyes ?'' Lexa simply asked, cutting off the girl in her long explanation.

Raven didn't expect this question. Her boss was asking her what she thought about something ? Not just something. Clarke.

Lexa, on the other hand, just wanted to see if someone else had the same theory about Clarke's physical condition.

''I don't think it's alcohol,'' Raven stated, ''I think... I think she's pregnant.''

Lexa didn't react. She kept looking at Raven, still trying to contain her emotions, but it was harder now it seemed more likely that Clarke was pregnant. If her employee was in trouble _and_ pregnant, Clarke couldn't push everyone away. Clarke had to let someone help.

''Do you know if she has a boyfriend ?'' Lexa asked.

Maybe Clarke wasn't alone after all.

''I doubt it. She only went out with us once and ended up in the bathroom with a girl. She doesn't seem to be the cheating type.''

So Clarke liked girls ? _It's not important right now_ , Lexa told herself. There was another question no one knew the answer to : did Clarke have a home to go back to every night ?

Clarke always seemed like she had jumped out of a well. Lexa doubted Clarke disregarded herself. Or she did because she had no choice. _Don't tell me it's worse than I thought_.

''So,'' Raven said, bringing Lexa back to reality, ''can you help her ? I wouldn't be asking you if you weren't the only one who could. I know it's none of your business but she's clearly getting worse. Especially if she's...''

''I heard you. I'll see what I can do. Thank you for letting me know.''

She rose. It was time to get to the meeting room. Raven followed her out of the office and took the elevator's way.

* * *

There were people shouting. Hands holding her arms. Clarke opened her eyes. She was being dragged out of a room. _The storage room._ She remembered falling asleep in the same room than the two nights before. She hadn't left the building for three days.

She had grabbed snacks from the vending machines but had thrown them up. She had hoped it was only the effects of a cold, as if she could fool herself. Her mother was a doctor, and even if Clarke hated her, she remembered everything the woman had taught her.

 _It's not a cold_ , she had had to admit. But she wouldn't admit what was really going on inside her.

Even if she had recognized the symptoms and knew the timing was right considering her last encounter with Finn.

She was slowly waking up. Her head was heavy. Last night had been long for her and it had taken her hours to fall asleep.

The two men holding her clearly weren't happy, and it took Clarke a few minutes to realize where they were going.

The elevator doors opened and she was soon in front of Woods' desk.

''One of the cleaning ladies found her sleeping in a storage room on floor nine.'' the man on Clarke's left said.

Clarke felt her boss' glance on her but didn't raise her head.

''Leave us.'' Lexa said.

The men obeyed, hoping they would be rewarded later for bringing the girl in.

No employee was allowed to stay in the building after 7pm. Only the CEO had the right to, because she did whatever she wanted to.

Lexa stood up and joined Clarke. ''Sit there.'' she told her, pointing at the sofa.

But Clarke didn't move. Lexa's jaw clenched. There was no way Clarke was going to keep lying to her. The blonde was putting herself in danger for a reason she wasn't even willing to give.

''Sit.'' Lexa repeated, making it sound like an order.

An order you'd better obey.

''Is there another meeting you want me to attend ?'' Clarke asked without moving.

''You missed it. You were too busy sleeping in one of the company's storage rooms.''

Clarke didn't say anything. What could she say ? Woods was right. Clarke didn't have any excuse this time.

''Sit down, Clarke.'' Lexa said more gently.

And this time, Clarke obeyed, because she knew Lexa wouldn't let go if she didn't sit on that bloody cardinal red sofa.

Lexa sat on the other side of it, not wanting to scare the blonde.

''Why were you sleeping in the building, Clarke ?'' she softly asked.

She saw Clarke frown and knew her question wasn't going to be answered, so she tried a more direct one.

''Have you got a home, Clarke ?''

And the blonde raised her head, staring deeply at the brunette. _No,_ she thought, _because your father destroyed mine_. She lowered her head, biting her lip at the thought of her father. This conversation was going too far for her, and it was only the beginning.

She stood up. ''I'm not chatting with you. If you want someone to tell you everything about their life, go find someone else.''

She was ready to leave the room, but couldn't read her boss' facial expression. There was none. Would Woods fire her for pushing her away ?

Lexa stood up too, coming closer to Clarke. The blonde stiffened. Lexa had never been that close to her. Clarke couldn't keep her head down this time. She looked deep into her boss' eyes. She loved their color. She loved how they could tell a complex story in a simple glance. _Too bad they're yours, Woods_ , she thought.

Lexa was looking for any clue she could get from Clarke's eyes. But looking at them closely, she only saw anger and pain.

''You're not well, Clarke.''

But that only made Clarke angrier.

''This is none of your business.'' she said coldly.

''This is my business when my employee comes at work late everyday, when she comes in raggedy, disrepects me, crushes a meeting of importance by being drunk, and ends up sleeping here which I was told didn't even help you to be at your desk on time.''

Clarke's face fell. Everything she already knew had just been spit out in her face and that _hurt_. Because she hated her boss, and yet she had been the one doing everything wrong since she started working here. She wasn't ruining her boss' life, she was ruining her own.

''So, tell me Clarke, why shouldn't I fire you ?'' Lexa asked after seeing her words had reached the girl.

Clarke had no clue. She should have been fired long ago. But she wasn't going to say it because she knew she wouldn't last long without this job. She was barely holding on with it. And that hurt even more, which she couldn't hide this time.

''I need this job.'' she said trying to keep her voice steady. But her voice had shaken, and Lexa had heard it.

''Then tell me what's going on with you.''

 _As if I could,_ she told herself. Lexa was trying to get informations about her so she could give her the same treatment the Woods had given her father.

Clarke couldn't possibly tell who she really was. But she couldn't escape this conversation. Lexa wouldn't let go of her. The brunette was staring at her, waiting for an answer, and Clarke thought of dozens of ways to get out of this situation.

Until her despair won her over and she realized there was only one way to keep both her secret and her job.

Her glance fell on her boss' lips before she took a step towards her and joined their lips together, pushing the brunette on the sofa.

Lexa fell on it, taken by surprise. Clarke's lips on hers had stricken her down, and she felt the urge to bring the girl closer to her. She had been so worried she hadn't realized how much she needed the blonde's touch. How much she had _missed it_ without ever having it. She didn't even know her !

Her mind took control of her body again and she pushed the blonde away. She opened her eyes and saw Clarke had been unbuttoning her own blouse. She couldn't keep her eyes from looking down at Clarke's belly, and she gently laid a hand on it, right under the blonde's belly button.

Clarke pulled away at the touch. She felt so vulnerable and awful after being rejected that she couldn't take the brunette's touch.

''Don't touch me.'' she murmured.

Had Lexa noticed ?

She did. Lexa had felt Clarke's tiny round belly. It was far from big enough to be seen from afar but it was obvious at the touch.

Clarke's eyes started to fill with tears she was trying to contain. She was angry, but not just after Lexa Woods. She hated herself. How could she be so stupid ? How could she believe she could keep her growing secret ? _One of my secrets_ , she thought. She had so many that they had started to become hard to bear.

''For how long have you been pregnant ?''

There she was, asking questions again. Questions Clarke couldn't answer. If she started answering one, she'd have to answer all of them.

''Why won't you just let me buy my silence ?'' she desperately asked, not even able to shout.

Lexa's heart was aching at the sight of that young woman who was doing her best to take care of herself. Something she obviously wasn't able to do.

''It's not a game, Clarke.'' she said calmly, trying to keep her emotions to herself just as Clarke was trying to keep her own secrets.

''It is for you,'' Clarke said out of desperate anger, ''you sleep with every girl who enter your office. You even give something in return as if you paid them for it !'' Her voice dropped as she was realizing she was only making the situation worse. Tears were slowly streaming down her cheeks. She was tired of fighting. And for what ? It only got worse. ''It's because I'm pregnant. Or because I don't look good enough.''

''No.'' Lexa answered straight away. _You could not possibly look bad even covered in all the rotten eggs of the world._ ''I can let you keep your job. But the only condition I can give you is for you to tell me the truth. What's going on ?''

Clarke's eyes widened. _I CAN'T FUCKING TELL YOU._ Her mind was blowing, her broken heart asking for mercy. One word of truth and she'd be on a plane exactly like her father. And if the plane didn't crash, she'd find herself in a totally different country, without any paper nor money. The same situation than here, but thousands of miles from the country she had known for nine years.

Lexa Woods didn't want to help her, because if Lexa Woods knew she wasn't american, Lexa Woods would send her to one of her parents' countries.

Lexa's father, who died three years ago, had been racist until his last day. A racist man with too much power had had consequences on hundreds of its employees throughout the years, including Jake Griffin.

Clarke couldn't take the risk of discovering his daughter had inherited his racism. From all she knew, the whole Woods family was against immigration and had a straight point of view on the 'pure american'.

She was trapped. She could whether keep her secret or her job. Not both.

''I quit.'' she said before thinking twice.

Lexa stiffened on the sofa. _No. She can't do that._ Yes, she could.

Clarke saw the effect her announcement had on Lexa so she added « I quit. »

She could not turn back. She'd find something else. A place to go. _Whatever_. She put her shirt in order, covering her slowly growing belly, and walked toward the door.

''Clarke ! You need that job !'' Lexa tried to reach her.

''I'll find another one.'' she lied. She had tried before taking this one and had failed.

Lexa watched Clarke leaving her office. She was helpless. She always came with a solution, and today she had failed the blonde. She couldn't make herself worthy of the girl's trust. And because of her, Clarke had left, quitting the job she desperately needed.


	5. Chapter 5

The only good thing Clarke had gotten from quitting her job was Lexa's disappointment. Lexa had insisted so much on keeping Clarke here that the blonde was sure Lexa was hurt by her decision.

Her heart still racing, she was recovering personal papers on her desk : mostly drawings from when she was bored. She put them in the trash, she couldn't keep them, and went to her supervisor's office to give him a large envelope containing all the cash she had earned.

''Richards, you're finally showing up.'' Sinclair said, unhappy about the girl's behaviour.

Clarke put the envelope and a paper on her former supervisor's desk.

''Here are my last translations for Woods'' she lied about what contained the envelope because she didn't want the money to be discovered by Sinclair. ''and here's my resignation letter.'' she added, pointing at the white paper.

Sinclair was clearly surprised but also relieved. Clarke was too much trouble to be handled by him. His work was too important to be ruined by one employee.

Clarke walked out of the office and Raven almost jumped on her.

''Clarke !''

''Goodbye, Raven.'' Clarke simply said, turning towards the room's exit.

''What ? Don't tell me you quit !''

Clarke didn't answer, already disappearing in the corridor.

''Wait ! We can stay in touch !'' Raven tried to reach her but Clarke never turned back.

Five minutes later, Raven was pushing two big doors. Woods' office.

''WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO HER ?!'' she yelled, getting a glare from her boss.

Lexa wasn't in the mood for this.

''She made her choice.'' She said, remaining calm even though her chest was aching from Clarke's behaviour.

Raven came to the desk, threw the envelope onto it and turned back.

''Sinclair asked me to give you this. It's from her.'' She was almost out when she stopped and turned to face her boss one more time. ''If anything happens to her, it'll be on you.''

She disappeared, leaving Lexa alone with the envelope.

She looked at it for a moment, hesitating, before grabbing it. _Woods don't hesitate. Woods aren't afraid._

She opened it and dropped it on her desk when she saw what was inside. _No..._

She slipped a hand on her forehead. She couldn't believe Clarke had given up on the money she had earned these last few weeks. She saw a little paper deep inside the envelope and grabbed it.

'' _Have your money back._ ''

She let out a painful sigh. Clarke needed that money, yet she had given it away. _To hurt me_.

She didn't know why, but Clarke seemed terribly angry at her. It couldn't be just because she had pushed her to tell the truth. It was more than that. There had always been more about Clarke Richards.

Actually, Clarke reminded Lexa of herself a few years ago. When Lexa had lost the only thing she cared about. The only _one_ who made her carry on. After her death, Lexa had done everything she could to disappoint her father. She had gone to every party she had heard about, slept with every cute girl she had met, and then her father had died and she had inherited the company.

It was a heavy weight on her shoulders but she had been given the chance to fix her father's mistakes. She couldn't fix them all, obviously, but she had made the company flourish even more and had added 'fierce' to her personality description.

She was only CEO for a year when she read in the country's most famous newspaper ' _Lexa Woods, the woman who conquered both women's hearts and the world economy._ '

* * *

Clarke had been wandering in the streets for hours, not wanting to stop anywhere. _I have nowhere to go._ Without any money, she couldn't even buy some food. She knew her decisions were stupid but she felt like she had won. Lexa was hurt. She saw worry and pain on the brunette's face for a short moment. Lexa had tried to hide it, but Clarke had seen it. Clarke had hurt Lexa Woods and she would have given anything to watch her former boss discover her present.

Now Lexa knew Clarke had given back all the money she seemed to have. So she could pay the price for her own mistakes.

Clarke ended up in a park. The floor was too wet to light a fire. The air was freezing cold. She sat in the grass, her back against a tree. She put a hand on her belly. She was pregnant. _I am fucking pregnant._ What was she going to do ? Out there with a child growing up inside of her ? What was she going to do if the pregnancy came to term ?

If she had survived on her own for three years, she couldn't take care of a child. Her baby would die in a matter of hours if she didn't die giving birth.

She sighed, staring at the tiny fume cloud that had just left her mouth. She was trying not to think about how cold she was.

She remembered everything she had or hadn't done to keep her job at Woods Enterprises.

 _Shit, I almost fucked my boss to keep that fucking job !_

She was ashamed, outraged, but not disgusted. She had to admit that she would've probably liked it. Lexa Woods was way too attractive not to think about how good it probably was with her.

No. It wasn't just about that. She wouldn't admit it, but there were other things she liked about Lexa Woods. It wasn't just about the CEO's physical appearance. Lexa was smart and could go from fierce to kind in a matter of seconds. Lexa was used to hiding whatever she felt, just like her. Lexa was more than what she looked like and Clarke had somehow hoped Lexa was more than her name.

She had dreamt Lexa Woods wasn't a Woods. She dreamt of liking Lexa. And because she was still feeling the brunette's lips against hers, she stood up and walked away from her feelings. If only that was possible.

She wasn't feeling well. She couldn't stay outside all night. Not by this weather. Not in her physical condition.

She entered a bar and went into its bathroom to clean up a bit. She left her hands under hot water for a bit until she felt them again.

Back in the bar, she sat in a quoin as she had done it before and hoped no one would notice she was staying here without buying drinks.

A man soon came to her with two drinks and started chatting. She answered politely, discretely checking the drink before drinking it. That guy was boring as hell, only talking about baseball, but he bought her drinks and, without knowing it, covered her.

They talked for an hour. He kept adding comments about how good-looking and nice she was. Clarke knew what he wanted. That guy was trying too hard to only want her number.

When he asked her if she wanted to get out of here, she said yes. She had come to a point where she'd do anything to stay out of the cold. So she followed a stranger to his appartment.

He offered her a beer, which she drank while he was talking about a great trip he had in Argentina the year before. Even if he wasn't very interesting to listen to, Clarke had hoped he'd gone on talking for the rest of the night. But he didn't.

He had kissed her and she had let him. Exactly like she had let Finn. But not for the same reason. With Finn, she had wanted to get out. With that man, she wanted to stay inside.

He brought her to the bed. She felt his lips on her skin and wished they were someone else's.

No. She couldn't think about it. About her. _I hate her_ , she thought while reversing positions to take control. The man seemed to like it. Clarke hated him too. She hated the whole world. But mostly herself.

* * *

Lexa had tried to reach Clarke, but the phone number from the girl's file was wrong.

 _She put random digits._

She had even gone to the girl's address. It did exist, but it wasn't Clarke's.

Lexa didn't know what to do. She couldn't contact her. She didn't even know if Clarke was still in town. _Maybe she left. Or maybe she went home. Maybe she had one after all._

But it seemed unlikely. The last – and only – time she had met Clarke in town, the girl was drinking alone in a bar. So Lexa had looked at every bar she knew. And she did know a lot.

But she didn't find her. She went back to her office. She didn't want to go home. She couldn't sleep anyway. Clarke wasn't going to leave her mind. The blonde was driving her crazy in all kinds of ways and she hadn't felt this way in a very long time.

She needed to find her. At least make sure she was safe.

* * *

Clarke had repeated the same pattern for a bit more than a month. Spent her days outside, wandering in the streets, sitting when she felt bad, receiving money from strangers who thought she was homeless. Well, she was. And if at first she had been ashamed of getting money by just lying on the pavement, she had realized it was her only way of getting food. She was too hungry to skip meals.

Last night, she had followed a girl to her house. The girl was living with her younger sister so they had to be discrete.

Every night she found someone new to follow. They all accepted thus far, even if it was harder for some who just wanted to drag her into the bathroom. Clarke didn't know if she was manipulating people or if she was the one being manipulated by them. But it didn't matter, because she had a roof over her head that night. Even if it costed her more than the whole world's money.

She was woken up by her one-night stand getting ready to go to work. Clarke got out of bed and grabbed her clothes.

''Hey,'' the other girl said, ''why don't you stay here for the day ? We could finish what we started last night when I get back.'' she said with a smile, stepping forward to slowly kiss her.

Clarke let herself drown into it for a bit before pulling back. ''I don't do two-night stands.''

''You could change your rule for me. At least once. You can stay here all day, my sister's already gone and she won't be back before tomorrow night. Take a shower. Have whatever you want from the fridge. Get ready for when I return from work.'' she added, insinuating things that should've warmed Clarke up.

But it didn't work. The only reason why Clarke accepted the girl's offer was because she really needed a day off from the streets. By saying yes, she offered herself the chance to stay in a seemingly safe and warm environment. She could take a _bloody_ shower and have a _bloody fucking hot_ meal !

And she did. But her body had still rejected the comfort Clarke had offered it.

* * *

Lexa was trying to focus. She had tried to find the blonde and had failed. She blamed herself for it and was desperate for a solution. She was the best at solving problems. The whole world had noticed it. Yet she couldn't solve this one.

The doors opened, a girl coming into her office.

''Hello, Woods.''

Lexa sighed. ''To what do I owe the pleasure, Echo ?''

The girl was one of the first from this building Lexa had slept with. Echo had asked Lexa for a promotion afterwards, which Lexa had refused her. Echo had tried getting Lexa to have sex with her once more, but Lexa never slept twice with the same girl. Echo could be as attractive as she was, Lexa didn't care.

''I still want that promotion.'' Echo said.

''I won't give it to you, neither will I sleep with you again.'' Lexa stated calmly.

Echo joined her boss' desk and laid her hands on it, slightly leaning forward.

''I have something you want in exchange for that promotion. You can't refuse it.''

Lexa sighed again. Couldn't Echo stop her stupid game and go back to whatever she was working on ?

''You better have a good offer.'' She coldly said, offering her employee an icy glare.

That's when Echo smiled, happy to finally spit her offer out after teasing her boss about it.

''I know better than anyone that you don't sleep with the same girl twice. So I doubt the blonde one you've had more than once in your office was just a one-time thing.''

Lexa stiffened at the comment but decided to let Echo finish before shouting any death threat.

''I've heard she quit. I'm pretty sure you'd like to see her again. Good thing she's at my house.''

 _Wait, what ?!_

''She's at your house.'' Lexa repeated, suddenly interested.

Echo smiled. She had the reaction she was expecting from her boss. ''So, do I get that promotion ?''

Lexa stood up and simply answered ''Bring me to her and you will.''

Lexa warned her assistant about her leaving the building for an undetermined amount of time and left with a way-too-proud Echo.

If Clarke really was at Echo's, then Lexa wouldn't let her go this time. She had been lucky but wasn't the type of person to rely on luck. If she found Clarke, she'd do anything to keep her close. Clarke had wasted enough of herself.

* * *

Clarke had been sitting against the bathroom wall for half an hour now. She thought it better to stay near the toilets in case she threw up again. She wasn't even sure she could stand if she tried. Her head was spinning. Her stomach was dancing inside of her body and her lower belly was shouting its pregnancy. _That I already know_ , Clarke thought, trying to joke about it. But she wasn't in the mood. It hurt too much.

She heard noises in the staircase and, soon, voices in the corridors. She tried to focus on hearing who it was when she froze.

''Her pants are lying on my bed. She's still here.'' She heard her latest one-night stand say.

''Let's check each room then.'' That voice had frozen Clarke for a long minute the women had used to look around.

They were coming toward the bathroom. The room she was _in_. She panicked and stood on her knees to lock the door. The floor was cold. She was only wearing a shirt and panties. She sat back where she was before and covered her mouth and nose with a hand as if her breathing would betray her. But the light.

 _The light._

''She's here.'' Echo stated.

 _No. No. No. No No No._

''Clarke ?'' she heard Lexa calling her. ''Clarke, please, open the door. I won't hurt you, I promise.''

 _Sure you won't._ She stayed still, hoping Lexa would go away, but she knew her former boss wasn't going to let go of her. And a few minutes later, the door was unlocked from the outside. Lexa appeared.

 _Huh. She does know a few tricks._

She felt the brunette's glance on her and got back to their first encounter in the CEO's office. _Is she bloody judging me ?_

Lexa sat in front of her, looking at her with so much care Clarke couldn't keep herself from drowning in her eyes. They stared for a moment that seemed everlasting before Lexa said ''I'd like you to come back with me.''

Clarke looked over the wall on her left. _Can't she just shut up for once ?_

''Why ? You couldn't find yourself another translator ?''

Lexa was glad Clarke wasn't looking at her right now because the way that last one was pushing her away hurt her, and it was harder to hide than she thought.

Echo had left, probably waiting downstairs. Lexa had to reach Clarke. There was no way she was leaving without her.

''I want you to be safe.'' she admitted, making the girl stare at her again.

''I already told you to fuck off. I don't want you near me.'' It was partly true but also partly false. Clarke hated the fact that she liked the brunette in front of her. She wasn't supposed to. She hated her. At least part of her was still trying to.

''If you don't come with me, I'll call 911.'' Lexa declared. She didn't want to force the girl into coming with her, but she had no choice. Clarke was not going well. She couldn't be left like this. ''You need to be checked by a doctor, Clarke. You're pregnant.''

 _I know I am, thank you_ , she sarcastically thought.

''I've already seen one, I'm fine.'' she lied.

''You don't seem to be.''

''You don't know anything about my life !'' she shouted.

''Only because you wouldn't tell me anything about it.'' Lexa answered, not giving in to Clarke's anger.

''Fuck you, Lexa !''

Lexa would've answered straight away if there wasn't this little thing that made her heart miss a beat to run even faster towards whatever happiness Lexa had felt from hearing her name coming out of Clarke's mouth.

Clarke had never called her Lexa. She rarely called her, actually, and when she had, Woods had been the name used. Not Lexa. Clarke probably didn't notice, but she had just given Lexa hope.

If Clarke had called her Lexa, it was probably because she was getting used to see the brunette. To having Lexa on her back. And somehow, it insinuated that Clarke did like the brunette's company. _She doesn't entirely hate me._ She almost smiled but thought it wasn't a very good idea.

''So, do I call help ?'' Lexa insisted.

Clarke didn't answer, but when Lexa rose to leave the room, she did too. It took her a moment to steady but she did. Lexa was about to help her but Clarke stopped her by raising a hand.

She grabbed her pants from the bed and put them on, trying to contain a pain moan. Lexa waited for her outside the bedroom. When Clarke got out, she ignored Lexa and left the house, the brunette on her steps, and stopped in front of the car she thought was Lexa's.

 _Only Lexa Woods could have a car like this._

It was indeed way too expensive for regular workers. But it was beautifully impressive, Clarke couldn't deny it.

She stepped inside the car and closed her eyes as soon as Lexa started driving away from Echo's house. She couldn't believe the one she had run away from had found her and was bringing her back to her fancy tower.

* * *

They had taken a path no one else knew. They entered Lexa's office and the brunette walked towards a door on the left, near the windows. She opened it with a key and asked Clarke to follow her inside. Clarke did. She had no other choice anyway.

Clarke looked at the huge bed in the middle of the room. _Private elevator, private bedroom, she had private everything and she won't even let me have my private life_ , she thought while discovering the room. There was another adjacent room.

''You can rest here for now. There's a bathroom here if needed.'' She pointed at the other room.

It looked like a fancy hotel room. But it was Lexa's, and Clarke could guess what the CEO used this room for. It disgusted her even more than she already was because of nausea. Her former boss wasn't always professionnal. This big size bed was a proof of it.

''I'll be in my office. Call me if you need anything.''

Lexa left, closing the door behind her. Clarke stayed still for a while. The only thing she needed was to leave this place. The only idea of being exactly where Lexa's father had surely been when he took the decision to send the discovered illegal immigrants away was making her sick.

She definitely didn't want to lay down on that bed, but she couldn't stand anymore, so she sat on the floor against the door, knowing it would make it hard for anyone to open it from the outside.

Her head dropped soon enough. She was exhausted.

* * *

Lexa was looking at Clarke's file for the hundredth time since she had started looking for the girl. But now that she had found her, she didn't know any more than before. She had looked so many times at it that she was starting to doubt Clarke's name was her real one. After all, everything else in this file was wrong.

''Miss Woods, your next meeting is in twenty minutes.'' The CEO assistant warned.

''Thank you.'' Lexa answered, closing Clarke's file on her laptop.

She would try and talk to Clarke after her meeting, even though she doubted the blonde would accept answering her questions.


	6. Chapter 6

**Hi !**

 **It's already chapter 6 and we're getting deeper and deeper into the story. I have to say that there are gonna be a few rounds before things actually start to change.**

 **You'll see what I'm talking about ;)**

 **Thanks to the few who reviewed. Clarke and Lexa are both terribly stubborn, here's another example ! Enjoy ! :)**

* * *

They were halfway through the meeting when Lexa decided to give everyone a ten-minute break. She wanted to check on Clarke. Three hours had passed since she had left the girl alone in her office's bedroom.

She knocked on the door. No answer. She tried to open the door, but it didn't entirely open. She didn't have to find what was blocking it because it was right under her eyes. Clarke was lying on the floor, her lower body blocking the door.

Lexa pushed the door harder, slowly moving Clarke with it. She entered the room. The blonde wasn't awakening. Lexa looked at her for a bit. Clarke didn't look angry, nor hurt. She looked peaceful.

Lexa couldn't stop watching her, and it took her a while before deciding to carry her onto the bed. It was better than the floor. Clarke was certainly exhausted because she never woke up. But she was breathing, Lexa had checked.

It was hard for Lexa to leave the blonde, but she had to go back to that meeting. She left and closed the door again, hoping she would get to see that peaceful look on the girl's face again.

* * *

Clarke felt the floor had changed under her body. It was... comfortable. She slowly opened her eyes. She remembered where she was. Noticed what she had been sleeping on.

 _Shit !_ She jumped off of the bed. Did Lexa put her on it ? She couldn't have slept _that_ deeply.

She went to the door, listening to whatever was going on in the office. Nothing. _Nothing ?_

She grabbed the handle and opened the door. The office was empty. There was her chance.

She walked towards the office's exit and slipped out of it. She was going to join the elevator when a hand grabbed her arm. A tall man in a black suit pulled her back into the office, not willing to let go of her. He made her sit onto the sofa.

He stayed near the office's entrance, watching her. Clarke couldn't move. He'd catch her as soon as she tried to reach the door.

* * *

The meeting had lasted no less than five hours and Lexa was tired. She had hoped it wouldn't last too long so she could go back to the mysterious girl in her office, but it had kept going on and on.

She joined her office straight after leaving the meeting room and found one of her bodyguards standing near the entrance.

''She tried to leave once.'' he stated.

Lexa thanked him. She had been right to make someone watch over her. She couldn't let the girl go. Not again.

When Lexa entered her office, Clarke stood up, obviously angry.

''You can't keep me here !'' she yelled.

''You can't keep wasting yourself.'' Lexa simply answered.

Clarke wasn't going to win this argument. But she was not going to let Lexa win that easily.

''So you just decided to keep a girl locked up in your fancy CEO office.''

''If that means keeping you safe, then yes.''

Did Lexa just admit that she cared about her ? Clarke took a step towards the brunette, hatred covering her reddening face.

''You don't even know me.'' she spit.

''What if I want to know you ?'' Lexa asked, not impressed by the girl's behaviour.

''What if I don't want to know you ?'' Clarke asked back.

Lexa could see Clarke's anger in the girl's eyes, but she also could see tons of other things. Pain, exhaustion, sorrow. Clarke was burning up, but not just because she was mad at the girl keeping her here.

Lexa could feel Clarke's warmth even if the girl was at least four feet away from her.

''Clarke, you're hot.'' Lexa said with concern.

 _Yeah, I got that._ Clarke thought.

''Don't you have anything else better to do ?'' Clarke furiously replied.

Lexa took a step forward to lay a hand on Clarke's forehead, making the girl shiver and taking several steps back.

''Clarke, you're burning up ! You need to see a doctor !''

But Clarke didn't want to hear anything else from the brunette. She turned her back on her.

''If you won't let me go at least leave me the fuck alone.'' she said before going back into the bedroom and slamming the door behind her.

She found comfort under the bed. She was hidden from the whole world, sleeping on the floor as she had gotten used to these last three years. She had found a few places to stay on her way here, but she could never stay for so long. And so she had ended up in this town, looking for a job without any ID, bank account, or shelter.

But here, under that bed, in the dark, warmed up by her own rising body warmth, she felt safer. Than where ? How could she feel safe in a place like this ? She was in the building her father had been for a few years before his death.

* * *

Lexa left the girl alone for an hour but she was too worried to focus.

 _Why am I even bothering with her ? She keeps pushing me away._

The answer to this thought, Lexa already had it.

 _She's not well. She's braver than anyone else I've ever met but now it's the time to let someone help. She's really not doing well._

And she didn't know the whole story. How could she help her if she didn't know exactly what was making her so angry ?

She didn't even know if the girl had a home.

She couldn't wait any longer. She had to check on her. Last time they talked, Clarke was abnormally hot. If Clarke had thought of it as a bad joke from her, Lexa wasn't kidding.

She opened the door. It wasn't blocked this time which Lexa considered a good thing. But Clarke wasn't on the floor, nor in the bed.

''Clarke ?'' she called.

She looked into the bathroom. Clarke wasn't there either.

''Clarke ?'' she called again.

No answer. _No. She can't have left, there's no other exit, I would've seen her._

She started looking everywhere in the room when she finally thought of looking under the bed.

There she was, sleeping.

 _Why would she sleep under a bed ?_ she asked herself.

She tried to wake Clarke up but the girl was deeply sleeping again. She pulled her out and felt her burning skin.

Clarke was sweating way too much.

 _She needs a bath_ , Lexa thought.

She went into the bathroom and turned on the faucet. She went back and carried Clarke into the bathroom, taking the blonde's wet shirt and pants off. She left the girl's underwear on.

Lexa noticed Clarke's belly had grown a bit more since the time she had touched it.

Clarke moved but didn't open her eyes. She was too exhausted and stuck in a dream. It was too soon to get out of it, even if she wanted to, her mind wouldn't give her the choice.

The bath ready, Lexa checked the temperature and laid Clarke into the bathtub.

Clarke saw the plane leaving the airport, her father getting higher each minute. She watched until she couldn't see the plane anymore.

Clarke saw the plane in the ocean. Or what was left of it. The TV wasn't small enough to hide the horror freely entering Clarke's mind through her eyes.

Clarke heard her father screaming as he was slowly drowning, and she felt water coming down her own throat into her lungs.

She was surrounded by water too, and her body lighter in the water started feeling too heavy for the girl. It felt so real. Water was swallowing her entirely.

She opened her eyes, raising her head to get as much air as possible. She was in the water. She really was in it. Panic streaming into her blood, she jumped off of the bathtub, falling hard on the floor.

''Clarke !''

Lexa hadn't sat close enough to the bathtub. She could've avoided that. She tried to reach the girl but Clarke, who was starting to calm down now she was back on land, stopped her.

''Don't... don't come near me...'' she said in between breaths.

''Clarke, calm down, it's just a bath. You were sweating, you needed to clean up a bit.'' Lexa tried to explain.

Clarke took a few seconds to breathe calmly before she replied ''I told you to leave me alone. First you want to call the police on me, then you lock me up, and now you wanna babysit me.''

''I don't want to call the police on you, Clarke, I want to call help. I don't know what to do, you keep making things worse. If you keep disregarding yourself you're gonna get both you and your baby killed !''

 _My baby._ For the first time, that thing inside of her had been called a baby. _My baby ? No._ She was far from accepting it. _It's not mine. It's Finn's. But he'll never have it. He'll never have me._

''I don't care.''

Lexa was helpless. Clarke wouldn't even tell her who she was, where her family was, who could take care of her.

''So what, I let you leave ? So you can keep sleeping with the whole town ? I know Clarke. Echo told me it wasn't the first time you went home with a complete stranger.''

Clarke laughed. She _laughed_.

''You're not different. You've slept with more of your employees than I slept with people from this town. The only difference is that I also do boys. I should've known I would end up with one of your former one-night stand, you've got so many here.''

Lexa wasn't going to get angry at Clarke. The blonde was mad. She said all of these things out of anger. Lexa knew better than to answer the same way.

''I may have slept with more girls than you can count, but it doesn't matter right now because I'm not the one being pregnant.''

 _Touché_. Damn, it hurt ! Lexa kept reminding Clarke that she was pregnant. That she was _a failure_. As if her life wasn't making it obvious enough. Clarke wanted to answer. She wanted to stab the other girl with words. But truth was she couldn't say anything. She lowered her head, angry and hurt, and the sight of her belly hurt her even more. _What am I going to do ?_

She wasn't going back to Finn, nor her mother. She wasn't staying in this building. She wasn't leaving the country either. No country in the world would accept her. She was no one.

Lexa was desperate. She kept feeling helpless and her heart was crushed by Clarke's pain. At first Lexa had thought Clarke's situation couldn't be that bad, that maybe Clarke was exaggerating, but Clarke seemed so broken that Lexa had started to think that the blonde was in way more trouble than she thought.

After all, Clarke had kissed her after pushing her away for so long _just_ to keep her job. That same day, she had ended up quitting. Clarke would have had sex with her boss to keep her job but she would rather quit than answer a few questions. What trouble was she in ?

''Clarke,'' Lexa said softly ''please, you need to see a doctor. I can call mine, he won't say anything, I promise.''

Clarke raised her head. Her eyes were gleaming.

''Will you let me go afterwards ?''

Lexa would've said yes only to give Clarke what she wanted, but she couldn't let Clarke on her own. She'd let her go only if she was certain the girl would be safe with someone. But Clarke wouldn't tell her anything so she didn't even know if Clarke's family was in town. _If she even has a family._

''I can't do that.'' Lexa declared.

Clarke didn't move but Lexa could see the girl's jaw slowly clenching.

Lexa grabbed a towel from the cupboard and tried to lay it on the girl's shoulders but Clarke threw it away.

''You're gonna get cold.'' Lexa said.

''Go fuck yourself. You're probably the only girl in the building you haven't fucked yet.''

 _No, there's you too_ , Lexa told herself before erasing this thought from her mind.

''Fine. You don't want my help. I'm calling 911. I can't leave a person in danger without assistance.''

''NO !'' Clarke hardly stood up.

''What's wrong with 911 ? They can bring you to the hospital to be examined. See if you and your baby are okay.''

 _Fuck you_ , Clarke thought. ''Are you trying to show how good you are by helping the poor girl in ragged clothes ?'' she asked, her voice filled with sarcasm.

Lexa didn't answer. She pulled her mobile phone out of her jacket and tapped on it a few times before bringing it to her ear.

Clarke had thought Lexa only wanted her to listen to her and that she wouldn't do as she had said.

But she did.

'' _911, what's your emergency ?_ ''

Clarke quickly walked to push Lexa against the wall and take the phone from her hand.

Lexa was taken by surprise. Clarke ended the call without answering. Without thinking, she threw the phone behind her into the bathtub.

''Do not try that again.'' Clarke warned.

But Lexa wasn't afraid. She was impressed by Clarke's audaciousness, but she needed way more than that to be scared.

''What are you gonna do, Clarke ? Kill me ? Lock me up ? How would you do it ? You're already shaking. You can barely stand.''

Clarke didn't let go. She hold Lexa against the wall, almost leaning on her. She was tired but not stupid.

''I'll do what I need to do.'' she replied.

''For what, Clarke ? What is it you're trying to protect so much you put your life and your baby in danger ?''

''IT'S NOT MY BABY.'' She yelled.

From that point, Lexa knew Clarke was breaking.

''It is, Clarke, whether you like it or not.''

''I don't want it.''

''You should have done something about it earlier. It's too late for abortion now.''

Clarke's body let go of Lexa's. She dropped on the floor. If she and her baby made it through the next six months, she'd be a mother. But she couldn't be. _I can't_. She couldn't even take care of herself, so a baby ? _Finn's baby_.

And there she was, crying on a Woods' bathroom floor. She felt pathetic but she couldn't stop the tears from streaming down her face. Her heart was aching so much she hoped it would stop. Right now. For good.

She felt something on her shoulders. The towel she had thrown away minutes ago. This time, she let it. She even let Lexa gently grab her by the waist to help her rise. She let her put her into bed. She couldn't fight. She was exhausted, but most of all, hopeless. Everything she had done to survive had led her to everything she hated the most.

* * *

When she woke up, no light was coming through the door. No light from the office. Was it night ? She got up, leaving the towel and blankets she was wrapped in. She was still in her underwear. She fetched her clothes and put them on.

She tried listening against the door to whatever was going on in the office. She didn't hear anything. She slowly opened the door, enough to see Lexa working at her desk. The windows behind her were offering a night view of the city. The desk was only lighted by a little lamp.

Clarke closed the door as slowly as possible. Lexa didn't hear her. _Good._

She went back into bed and waited.

Did Lexa work here every night ? _It's not important. I won't stay._

She was determined. Scared, too. But she couldn't just walk out the door. She had to wait for the right moment. And it came two hours later.

She had slightly open the door again, and had seen Lexa sleeping on her desk.

She had annoyed Lexa enough to exhaust her. Clarke slowly walked to the desk, seeing the file Lexa had been working on. She looked onto the desk and into Lexa's jacket's pockets. She found what she was looking for. Now she could leave.

She went back to exactly where Lexa had parked her car earlier. She unlocked it.

Without thinking about the consequences, she took off with the CEO's fancy car.

She wasn't going to hide in town this time. Lexa Woods had eyes and ears everywhere. No, it was time to leave.

* * *

Lexa sighed as she realized she had fallen asleep on her desk again. She remembered there was a pregnant girl in her office's bedroom and went to check on her. It was still dark outside. Light wasn't going to illuminate the city before a few hours.

 _Shit. Not again !_

Clarke was nowhere to be found. Lexa returned to her desk, trying to think about where the girl could have gone. She put her coat on, ready to search the entire city if needed. But. Wait. _It's lighter than usual_. She put her hands in her pockets.

 _Shit._ Her car keys were gone.

Lexa opened the second drawer on the right of her desk and grabbed some car keys. She had the keys for other cars that belonged to the company. She wasn't supposed to use them for personal trips but she had no other choice.

She grabbed her other phone, as the one she used the most had drown into the bathtub. For once she was glad to have several of the same item.

She went onto her car locator app and logged in. Her car was moving onto the closest highway. Clarke was certainly in it. She doubted the blonde had time to exchange it or even steal another car.

 _I'm not letting you go until I'm sure you're safe, Clarke._

And so she left.


	7. Chapter 7

Clarke was anxious. She hoped Lexa wouldn't awake before she could leave the car in whatever city she would end up in. For now she just needed to drive as far away as possible from the brunette.

She kept thinking about how Lexa seemed to care about her. How _Lexa Woods_ looked at her. How the famous CEO tried to get informations from her. But Lexa couldn't know the truth. Clarke couldn't keep it out of her mind. The picture of the Woods destroying her family. The image of Lexa approaching her with questions.

Clarke was freaking out. A few months before turning eighteen, Clarke had been told by her mother that she may not have her authorization renewed. Her mother could stay because her work was important. But Clarke was Jake Griffin's daughter. The one who had refused to leave the country when his visa burnt out because he wanted to stay with his family. Abby Griffin had refused to leave the country to live a normal life with them. No. She had wanted to stay in the country that refused to grant a permanent visa to Jake Griffin. In the country that might not give her daughter a visa when the girl would turn eighteen. She had chosen to stay.

And because of her, Jake had died.

Clarke's grip hardened on the wheel. Nine years in this country and she couldn't even stay ? She was only twenty-one. She could do so much for this country. But it didn't want her. No one wanted her.

Not even her mother who chose her work over her family. Not even her boyfriend who only wanted her for sex. _And now I'm fucking carrying his baby._

She pushed the pedal a bit more, making the car go faster. She had to go away.

She let go of it, tired of being angry all the time. She needed to take a break. She stopped at a rest area. She looked into the glove compartment and found what she wanted. Change. At least twenty dollars. There wasn't anything else. Lexa wasn't the ostentatious type.

She went into the area shop. She _really_ needed to eat. She bought a coffee from the machines and tons of chocolate bars. _Chocolate_. She craved for it.

She also needed to go to the bathroom but she'd rather eat before. _Food. Chocolate._ When was the last time she had eaten ? She had drunk a beer before leaving the bar with Echo. That had been it.

She went outside and sat on the pavement as there were no tables inside where she could've laid her food on. She took a few sips of coffee, enjoying the aroma, and soon bit into her first chocolate bar. _Damn_. She didn't have anything that good in a very long time.

She closed her eyes, enjoying each bite.

* * *

Lexa was driving faster than she should but there weren't many cars on the road, just a couple trucks in front and behind her. She had to find Clarke. She wasn't letting the tiny dark blue point on her phone disappear.

But at some point, she saw it slowing down until it wasn't moving on the map anymore. Lexa pushed the pedal harder. Now was her chance.

She parked her car on a rest area. She looked at the shop from afar before getting out of the car. She saw blonde hair shining in the dark, illuminated by the shop's lights coming through the windows.

She was careful to stay unnoticed.

There she was.

Clarke was chewing chocolate, her eyes closed. She had chocolate on the corner of her lips and Lexa found the blonde absolutely adorable. She looked like a kid. A little girl with her chocolate bar. Lexa calmly sat besides her.

''I could give you as many chocolate bars as you want.'' she said.

Clarke froze. Was that... ? She opened her eyes. Lexa was sitting right next to her. She didn't turn her head. She didn't look at her. She had been found again. Her nightmare was never going to let go of her.

''Why are you running again, Clarke ?'' Lexa asked at the blonde's well-known silence.

Clarke had been okay for a few minutes. She had drunk coffee and eaten chocolate. She had forgotten everything. The bitterness crushing her heart. The pain.

She rose, walking into the shop. She needed to pee. _Just ignore her_. As if she could.

She went to the toilets, and when she got out, she saw Lexa waiting for her near the sinks.

She washed her hands, trying her best not to explode. Lexa Woods had followed her. Clarke felt trapped.

''You stole my car.'' Lexa stated, wanting to make Clarke react.

And Clarke did, by pulling the keys out of her jeans pocket and coming to put them right beside Lexa, staring at her through the whole process.

Lexa was leaning against one of the sinks, looking deep into Clarke's eyes. She didn't move when the blonde said ''For how long are you planning on stalking me ?''

''Until I'm sure you're safe.''

Clarke let out a laugh. ''Lexa Woods having feelings. You picked the wrong girl to run after.''

Lexa grabbed Clarke by the waist and reversed their position. Clarke was now the one leaning against the sink. She could feel Lexa's body against hers. She could see the green shades in the brunette's eyes. She could smell Lexa's scent. She could almost feel the girl's breath.

 _Shit._ Her head was spinning from all the feelings that were overwhelming her.

''What's wrong, Clarke ? You still think I picked the wrong girl ?'' Lexa clearly used the effect she had on Clarke to win this argument.

Clarke's hormones were driving her crazy. Her pregnancy was making fun of her, and she couldn't think of getting away from Lexa. Even if she _had to_. She approached her face from the brunette's, feeling the girl's comforting warmth. Her glance fell on Lexa's lips. She had kissed them once and she had felt the urge to do it again since then, but she never did because they were Lexa Woods'. But Lexa was so close to her. Their lips were almost touching. Clarke was feeling Lexa's breath on her upper lip.

 _Why does she have to be so fucking attractive ?_ Clarke thought.

Lexa almost had Clarke's lips on hers and she slightly moved her head to reach Clarke's right ear.

''Tell me Clarke,'' she whispered, her voice making Clarke shiver, ''do you have a home I can bring you to ?''

''No.''

She had answered straight away, not able to think about anything else than Lexa's proximity. But Lexa stepped back, and Clarke's mind was harshly brought back to reality.

Her eyes widened. Had Lexa just made her spit out one of her secrets ? So easily. Because Clarke couldn't handle herself.

Clarke walked to the other side of the washroom, her back turned to Lexa. Now she hated herself even more. She already had no control over the situation, and now she couldn't even control herself.

 _You can't want her. She's a Woods._

She then felt something between her legs. She was wet. But not the wet she would've expected. _Pregnant wet_. Clarke was glad Lexa couldn't see her face right now because it was covered with shame. First she had had to let her fly button open because her pants were becoming too small for her belly, and now she had wet herself.

''Clarke, don't be scared, I just want to help you.'' Lexa said softly.

But Lexa wasn't helping her. She was making things worse. Clarke had so much shame. About her feelings, about her body, about her whole life.

And she was scared. She was frightened by the fact that Lexa Woods kept going after her. A worldwide reknown CEO whose father had caused her father's death. Even if Lexa Woods' intentions seemed good, Clarke couldn't take the risk of being discovered.

So she ran again, leaving the room by the left door.

 _Dammit_ , Lexa cursed. She took the right door, trying to follow the blonde who was already out of sight.

Clarke ran through the shop, grabbing chocolate bars on her way out. She heard an employee shouting and knew she had to go faster. She needed those goddamn chocolate bars. She _needed_ them. She was so hungry and they were the only things in the whole world who could make her feel better for a few minutes. The only things who would not leave her with shame.

She went to the car she had stolen from Lexa and searched for the keys. _Shit ! I gave them back._

She heard the employee yelling at her and let go of the car, running through the parking lot. He was after her. She knew running was useless as she had nowhere to go, especially in the middle of nowhere without a car.

There was the highway and nothing around.

But she wasn't thinking anymore. What had she become ? She was pregnant at twenty-one without any money. She had nowhere to go. She had quit the only job she could get. And she was probably about to be discovered.

She had never been as scared in her whole life as now. Not even when she got lost when she was seven. Not even when they arrived in a place as big as America. Not even when she was watching the news on TV the day her father died.

She felt her wrist being grabbed, and then her waist. The bars fell.

''You're coming back inside and I'm calling the police.'' the man said.

Clarke tried to free herself from the man's grip but he was stronger than her.

Tears were streaming down her face again. _It's over_. She had thrown the tiny piece of freedom she had left for chocolate bars. As if she wasn't ashamed enough.

''Let her go.'' another voice said.

''No way ! She stole from the shop ! If I let her go my boss will fire me !''

''If you don't I'll make sure you get fired.''

The man turned towards the one speaking to him, thinking of a joke. But then he saw Lexa Woods' face. His boss was working for another boss who was working for Woods Enterprises. Lexa was on top of it all. Her face was everywhere.

He let go of the young woman who threw herself on the floor to grab a bar, rip up the paper surrounding it and throw it in her mouth.

The man returned to its job, not willing to lose it for a few chocolate bars. He'd tell his boss Lexa Woods was here and, if he wasn't believed, video surveillance would prove his words.

Lexa saw the blonde lying on the floor, compulsively swallowing each chocolate bar, one after another.

Clarke's eyes were filled with tears and her face covered with them.

Lexa also noticed Clarke's opened fly button. And this time, Lexa couldn't stop the tears from coming out of her eyes. She was brokenhearted by Clarke's pain.

 _I just want to help_ , she mentally apologized. She felt guilty for Clarke's current condition. Clarke had to run away for some reasons and Lexa kept coming after her, scaring her, making her break the law to escape her.

She sat behind Clarke, tears silently rolling down her cheeks. She had to do something. She couldn't just leave her like this ! Clarke had to let her help !

Clarke had finished all of her bars and she was moaning, scratching the floor covered in bars' papers.

Lexa laid a hand on the blonde's face, removing the hair from it. She was trying to soothe her by caressing her cheek with the back of her hand.

''Clarke.'' she said, her voice broken. ''Clarke, please, come with me.''

But Clarke cried even more, shaking. The weight of shame was so heavy on her she thought she would never be able to stand up again.

''Clarke, please...'' Lexa whispered, laying a hand on the girl's arm. ''Let me take care of you.'' She added, her voice so low it was almost covered by Clarke's cries.

It took a while for Clarke to stop crying. She let Lexa bring her to her car. She fell asleep on the back seat.

Lexa stopped at a motel. They were both exhausted. Clarke was still sleeping. Lexa had to wake her up to get inside the motel, but Clarke was barely standing, half sleeping. Lexa carried her and put her into bed. She sat into the wheelchair near the door and fell asleep hoping Clarke wouldn't wake up before her and run away again.

* * *

When Clarke woke up, she found food and clothes on a chair beside the bed. She grabbed the food and ate it faster than it took her to discover it. She then looked at the clothes. They were new. A bit bigger than her current ones. And there were new shoes, too.

She went to take a shower and put the new clothes on afterwards. They fitted her. She sat on the bed, putting a pillow against her chest and bringing her knees to it. She remembered everything that had happened last night. _What have I done ?_

The door opened half an hour later. Lexa was back and glad to see the blonde hadn't run away. She saw Clarke on the bed, wearing the clothes she had bought her this morning.

She sat on the bed in front of her. Clarke's grip hardened on her knees.

''I'd like you to see my doctor.'' Lexa simply announced. ''He won't say anything, I promise.''

Clarke didn't say anything. Lexa was right, she had to see a doctor. She was offered the chance to see a doctor for free. Hopefully she wouldn't have to tell her story.

She followed Lexa. It was almost the end of the afternoon. There was no one into the doctor's room.

''Hello, Lexa.''

''Hi, Jackson.''

Jackson was here for Lexa when she needed him the most. He had always been. Before she met him the first time, she had refused to keep seeing her father's doctor. He was always following her father's orders and he would tell him everything about their appointments. Lexa couldn't stand being watched anymore so she stopped going to the doctor. Until she really needed to see one.

And there was Jackson. Both her doctor and her friend. Without him, she'd certainly be dead.

Clarke followed the man to the other side of the room. He closed the big curtain separating both sides. Clarke was glad she was given this privacy.

She laid down on the bed.

''Let's check you first.'' Jackson said with a smile.

Clarke didn't like being touched this way, being _looked at_ , but she had no choice. After he examined her, he decided to check on her baby and made a scan. It was tiny but it had the shape of a baby. Clarke's baby. _Finn's baby_. It was still hard for her to accept. She couldn't believe the baby she was seeing on the screen was hers. _It's so real._ It was too soon to tell its gender, but Clarke didn't care right now. Accepting a baby was hard enough, she didn't need to know she was expecting a girl or a boy. It would only make things harder. _Too real_.

''She's shaken but she and her baby are both okay. I guess she's a lucky girl.'' Jackson explained when they got back to his desk.

 _I bet she is_ , Lexa thought. Clarke had admitted she had no home. Did she live on the streets ? After all, she was found into one of the company's storage rooms. She had tried to sleep in a safer and warmer place and Lexa had blamed her for it.

Lexa thanked Jackson who refused the money she wanted to give him and left. Clarke followed her but stopped in front of Lexa's car.

''Can I go now ?'' she asked.

Lexa's heart bumped into her chest. She thought Clarke was going to come with her to some place safe. But the blonde didn't seem ready to let her help.

''Come with me to WE. I'll give you your money back. You worked for me, you earned it. It's yours. Rent some place for you and your incoming baby.''

Clarke looked down, then up again, biting her lip. There was no way she was telling Lexa she couldn't possibly rent some place because she didn't have the papers required to do it.

''Have your job back, Clarke.'' Lexa added. ''You need the money and I need you. I won't find any translator as good as you. You really did some good job.''

''Apart from puking during your meeting and insulting you ?''

Lexa laughed and Clarke looked away thinking about how beautiful it sounded.

''You may not be employee of the month, but you're still great.''

Clarke smiled slightly. It was the first time in ages someone told her she was great and actually sounded sincere. _Since Dad._

Clarke was confused. Lexa Woods was too nice to be a Woods.

Clarke wasn't sure yet if she could trust her. She really wanted too, but she was also really scared.

* * *

 **Hey !**

 **What do you think of this chapter ?**

 **For how long do you think Clarke will keep lying and fighting ? Will she even be able to get out of that nightmare of hers ?**

 **Next chapter might come sooner than expected. See ya !**


	8. Chapter 8

**Hi !**

 **I couldn't post it earlier, but it's still sooner than saturday, right ? I'll post chapter 9 on sunday and chap 10 on tuesday. Depending on how many chapters I can write during my holidays, I may be posting a third chapter for the next two weeks. I guess we'll see !**

 **Enjoy, see you on sunday :)**

* * *

Clarke had taken her money back and had bought a car with it. Another old car, but at least she wasn't sleeping in the cold. This time, she parked it every morning somewhere safe enough. She had gotten her job back at Woods Enterprises and used the money to buy clothes, food and gasoline. She woke up early every morning to get cleaned up and arrive on time.

She had to make everyone think she was doing well. She was supposed to have an apartment. She had even lied about how nice it was. But no one had seen it. Because she didn't have it.

''Hey Clarke, you have a meeting to attend today, 1pm, don't forget !'' Sinclair warned her.

Clarke nodded and sat at her desk. Her supervisor hadn't been happy to see her back but when he noticed all the efforts she was making, he told her he was glad she was back. She had helped so much since she got back seven weeks ago !

Clarke wasn't the only one making progress, because her pregnancy did too. She had just begun her fifth month. Now she could definitely not hide her pregnancy anymore. Her belly was big, and it was only going to get bigger.

''Hey Clarke, how are you doing ?'' Raven, who had just appeared beside her, asked .

''How do you think I'm doing ?'' Clarke asked back, laying a hand on her belly.

Raven laughed. ''I guess you're doing a bit too well.''

''Did you come here to mock me ?'' Clarke tried to say seriously but couldn't keep herself from smiling at Raven's behaviour.

Raven was a jerk. A very smart jerk. And Clarke liked how simply it was to be her friend.

''No, blondie, I just wanted to offer you burgers. I'm meeting the others at Mike's for lunch. Do you wanna come ? I wouldn't be your friend if I didn't buy you and the tiny thing inside you some good fat burgers and fries.''

Clarke laughed. She didn't like hearing about her baby but the way Raven talked about it was funny. Clarke didn't feel judged with her. And their other friends laughed about it too. So Clarke would feel better about being pregnant at twenty-one. Without the baby's father to watch over her.

She never talked about Finn. When her friends asked, she just said it was some guy she had sex with. Because she did have sex with many people.

After lunch, she got back to work and grabbed what she needed from her desk before heading toward the elevator. She had a meeting to attend.

She entered Lexa's office. Apparently, this meeting was going to take place in the CEO's office. The ones her boss was meeting were already there.

Clarke looked at the blonde woman who was comfortably sitting in one of the two chairs in front of Lexa's desk. _She seems too relaxed_ , Clarke thought before staring at Lexa who had just noticed her.

''Please, join me.'' Lexa said to her attention.

Clarke obeyed and sat near Lexa.

''Who is she ?'' the older woman said in a quite crude way.

She had a french accent. Her eyes were cold blue with shades of grey. Her hair was blonde and her skin was pale. She looked evil. And her tone was cold. Even her smile was frosty. A bitter ice queen.

''She's my assistant for this meeting.'' Lexa stated.

The brunette wasn't going to give up Clarke's ability to understand the french woman. If she did the woman would know she was understood at every tiny comment she'd make in her first language.

''Richards, this is Nia Blanquet, Azgeda Corp.'s CEO.'' Lexa explained, and Clarke understood why Lexa had hidden the truth about her presence here.

The Blanquets and The Woods had been in conflict for decades now. Nia had started this war with Lexa's father and now she was pursuing it with the daughter.

Blanquet looked at Clarke for ten long seconds, a smile drawing itself on her cold face as her glance was stuck on Clarke's belly. She turned toward her advisor and said, without even bothering to whisper ''Elle se tape même les femmes enceintes maintenant. Cette fille n'a aucune limite.'' _She even does pregnant women now. This girl has no boundaries._

Clarke's grip on her notebook tightened and Lexa knew whatever Nia had said was nothing good.

''Let's start.'' Lexa declared.

Clarke tried her best to stay neutral. She couldn't show the two french people in front of her she was understanding every tiny comment they made. She only took notes of everything they said, english or french, making sure to hold the notebook in a certain way so the French couldn't see what she was writing.

At the end of the meeting, after Nia's departure, Lexa turned toward Clarke and said ''Everything that has been said during this meeting has to stay secret. Things have always been complicated with Azgeda Corp., we can't let any information fall into the hands of a spy. We never know who could hide among our employees.''

Clarke looked down. _I'm the one hiding_. If Lexa knew the truh, she'd probably never forgive her. After all, Clarke had never forgiven the Woods for her father's death. Neither did she have forgiven her mother.

''Here's everything you need to know.'' she said, handing her translation over to Lexa.

Lexa read a few lines before looking at Clarke again and she asked ''What did Nia say about you before the meeting ?''

Clarke shrugged. ''It doesn't matter. She's not the only one looking at me this way.'' She stood up. ''I gotta go back to work.'' She was about to leave the room when Lexa called her.

''Clarke, wait.'' Clarke stared at her with curiosity. ''Would you have dinner with me ?'' Lexa asked, but she saw Clarke taking a step back, and she added ''Here, I mean. You don't have to follow me anywhere. We could just eat together sometimes. Pizza or whatever you want.''

 _Eat together, huh ?_ Clarke thought. She noticed the way Lexa seemed so vulnerable, so hesitant, almost _scared_. Lexa didn't know what to expect from her. And that scared her, because she still couldn't read Clarke as well as she could read others.

''Sometimes.'' Clarke smiled.

Lexa was left alone in her office. Clarke had just given her hope. The blonde girl had never thanked her for helping her, but Lexa didn't expect a thank you. She knew how hard it was for Clarke to let people in. And Lexa was glad Clarke had let her help that night.

Since then, they had met a few times for work. Clarke came to each meeting where she was required and always left quickly at the end of them. Lexa knew Clarke needed time but she'd lie if she said she didn't want to know more about her. To _see her more_.

* * *

Clarke opened the trunk of her car, pulling sheets out of it. She had bought two last week. She was way too cold to sleep without them. The night sky was clear. She looked at the stars for a few minutes before getting inside the car. She laid on the back seat and sighed. _Damn that feels good_. She had sat all day and her back hurt. She was maybe not in a comfortable bed but her back hurt so much she would've laid down on the pavement.

She pulled the second sheet until her face was covered. She was still cold, but less. She always tried to stay positive, even when the situation was terrible.

She was a twenty-one-year-old pregnant woman sleeping in an old car in winter. Gladly, this one was coming to term. Spring would come, and its nights would still be cool, but hopefully not freezing.

She woke up in the middle of the night and jumped out of her car, taking her pants off. She always had to pee. How could someone pee so much ?

 _Thank god I'm parked near the beach._

No one was going to see her. She got back into her car, relieved. She closed her eyes and fell back into sleep.

* * *

''Is that a new flagrance, Richards ?'' Raven teased her. ''Are you planning on charming Woods with it today ?''

''Very funny Reyes.'' Clarke answered, shaking her head at the tease beside her.

She did buy some flagrance to cover the fact that she didn't shower everyday. She only managed to do it two times a week if she was lucky. She could clean up in the building's washroom but there were always some people coming in and out so she only had time to wash her face and hands.

It had costed her almost thirty dollars. The flagrance she was wearing was cheap, but this kind of thing was expensive, and Clarke had hesitated a long time before buying some. But she was never going to buy her wooden house in the woods anyway, so she had to use her money to buy what she currently needed.

''Go get her !'' Raven laughed while the elevator's doors were closing on the blonde.

Clarke had another meeting to attend. Her first meeting with Nia Blanquet had taken place two weeks ago. Since then, she had never come back to Lexa's dinner offer. Not that she didn't want to spend more time with Lexa, but Lexa Woods ? The asking-question one ?

She took her seat at the back of the meeting room. It started a few minutes later. At the end, she tried to leave the room right after the others, but Lexa stopped her.

''Clarke, I need your help on something.''

Clarke followed her to her office. She was told to sit down and did. Lexa handed her a big file.

''It's all in french. I need you to help me translate it.''

Clarke grabbed it and stood up but Lexa told her she couldn't leave with it.

''This file can't leave me.'' she said, and thought for a few seconds before admitting ''We're not supposed to have it. But we do, so we can't not use it. It contains too many informations about Azgeda Corp.. We need to know what they say.''

Clarke would have asked how they got this file if she wasn't afraid of being asked questions in return. So she opened the file on the desk and started overlooking each page silently. Lexa indicated pages she thought interesting and Clarke explained their content.

There were so many pages they didn't finish before dark. They were far from being done with this file. Lexa looked at her watch. 9pm.

''You should go home, Clarke. I'm sorry for holding you up for so long. Your extra hours will be paid.''

It was nice of Lexa, but Clarke had to admit she didn't really want to go. What would she do ? Eat snacks. Lay down on the back seat of that old car of hers. Try to sleep as best as she could before being woken up by her restless bladder. No. She didn't want to go back to that right now. She just wanted to stay a bit longer. She didn't mind working. It kept her mind busy.

''I'm fine. I'd rather finish this today if possible, I have tons of other files to look into.'' she lied.

''Fine. But let me at least buy you dinner. We can work and eat. How about that pizza ?'' Lexa pulled her phone out of her pocket, not giving Clarke time to answer.

''Are you trying to win me over with food ?'' Clarke asked with a smile.

''Is it working ?''

''I don't know. I don't see any pizza yet.''

Lexa smiled, her phone against her ear.

''Hi Matt. Yes, the usual.'' She put the phone against her chest for a second to ask Clarke ''Which pizza do you want ?''

Clarke shrugged, not really caring, and answered ramdomly ''Cheese.''

''Oh, Matt, add one _quatre fromages_. Thank you.''

Lexa hang up. Clarke was smiling awkwardly, her eyebrows raised.

''Come on, say it.'' Lexa said, knowing what Clarke was thinking.

''Your accent sucks.'' Clarke admitted.

''How would you say it ?'' Lexa asked, a smile still stretching her lips.

But Clarke's smile dropped and her glance left the brunette. Lexa had lost her so easily.

''I'm sorry, Clarke. I didn't mean to...'' she tried to apologize. ''You don't have to do it. I won't ask you again.''

Clarke looked at Lexa again. Not only speaking french was her father's thing, their thing, but she would also sound too french. She didn't have an english accent while speaking her father's native tongue. Lexa would find out the truth.

She hadn't let go of both her father's and mother's accents to give up now. The north american accent was the only one she could use.

Twenty minutes later, they both had their pizza in front of them. Lexa smiled at the way Clarke rushed on her pizza. She had already eaten half of it. Lexa had only eaten two slices.

Clarke had one slice left to eat when she suddenly rose to run toward the bedroom's door. It was locked and Clarke yelled ''Please open it I need to get to the bathroom !''

She was almost begging and Lexa came to unlock the door, biting her lip to keep herself from laughing. Clarke ran into the bathroom and Lexa let out a laugh.

Clarke was the only one who could really make her laugh. Lexa hadn't felt this happy in so long. If only things were easier with Clarke, Lexa would've asked her on a date.

 _No, I don't do dates. Not anymore._ But she would, with Clarke.

Lexa was eating her fourth slice when Clarke got out of the bedroom, closing the door behind her. She stared at Lexa on her way back to the desk.

''Don't say anything.'' she ordered.

''I wasn't going to.'' Lexa replied without being able to erase the smile from her lips.

''Try being pregnant and then tell me how funny it is.''

''I'm afraid this is something that will never happen to me.'' Lexa simply stated.

Clarke's silence made her raise her head. Did she say something offensive ? No. Clarke was just looking at her pizza. The young woman had finished her own and was apparently still hungry.

''You can have it, Clarke.''

Clarke hesitated but the smell of that delicious bolognese pizza made her break and she grabbed a slice.

Lexa was happy just watching Clarke eating. She had to admit she cared too much about the girl, but she couldn't help it. Clarke's world seemed darker yet it enlightened hers.

Both pizzas eaten, they got back to work. They kept going through the file until 1am when Lexa decided it was late enough.

''You shouldn't be working this late. Let me give you a ride home.'' she offered.

Clarke thought it was better to accept. She had to let Lexa think she was okay, and what's best than letting the brunette bring her to the wonderful apartment she didn't have ?

She followed Lexa to her well-known car and gave her the address of the place she had thought of as her imaginary home. After Lexa discovered the address on her application was fake, Clarke had to find a new one. And for now, no one had found out she had lied again.

They talked about how ugly and little appreciable Nia was, looking like two high school girls chirping about how awful the cheerleader from the other team was. But they were laughing as if nothing mattered and it was _great_.

Clarke had just discovered a whole new side of Lexa Woods. And she liked it.

 _You're not really helping me hate you, huh._

They kept talking for a few more minutes even after Lexa parked the car in front of a brown building.

''That's my cue.'' Clarke said, looking by the window.

''Sleep well, Clarke.'' Lexa smiled again.

Clarke left the car to keep herself from kissing Lexa. She wanted too but she had to remind herself everyday that she was an illegal immigrant. And pregnant.

She walked to the building's door. She heard Lexa's car leaving exactly when she reached the door.

Clarke was relieved Lexa hadn't stayed until she got inside.

She waited a few minutes and stepped away from the building, knowing she had at least an hour-long walk to get to her car. But somehow, it was worth it. Because her evening had been nice. Lexa hadn't questioned her and they had laughed a lot. Some things that day made Clarke like Lexa even more.

 _But she's a Woods. And my boss._

That night she thought too much. She couldn't sleep so she sat on the front seat and turned on the radio. She drank two bottles of water. She was often thirsty and knew she had to stay hydrated. She wasn't a doctor's kid for nothing. She laughed. She didn't miss her mother. She was glad she was far away from her. What would the older woman think of her twenty-one-year-old pregnant daughter sleeping on the back seat of a car surely older than the girl ? She'd certainly be ashamed. And Clarke didn't need more shame. She had enough.

She pushed her seat back a little. She fell asleep to the sound of The Beatles' _Let it be_.


	9. Chapter 9

**New chapter, as promised ! It's short, that's why I wanted to post three this week.**

 **Chapter 10 on tuesday.**

 **Thanks to those who reviewed ! I love reading your comments ! :)**

* * *

Clarke was going through her seventh month of pregnancy.

To Lexa's disappointment, Clarke stayed as discrete as she was before their dinner. The blonde came to their meetings, helped Lexa on files when she was needed, but that was it. They didn't have any other dinner. They didn't get to laugh again. Their meetings were too formal to the brunette's taste. Every time she thought her relationship with Clarke was improving, Clarke stepped back somehow.

She was supposed to be the closed one but Clarke was way better than her at this game.

Clarke had even refused to see Jackson again. She had done it politely but she had _refused_. Lexa had tried to convince her it was for her own good but Clarke had said she would know if anything was wrong.

Clarke had this ability of making Lexa feel helpless. Lexa had so much money, so much power, and she couldn't even take care of one person. The only one she actually cared about.

Clarke seemed fine. She had a home, now. She had a roof over her head. She was fine. _She's fine._

Lexa hoped so. But truth was she wasn't even sure of it because she had never seen Clarke's place. She really hoped Clarke hadn't lied about renting an apartment.

''Here, your notes.'' Clarke said, handing her papers over to Lexa. She had written a lot during today's meeting and she did not only translate. Every meeting she wrote more and more comments about what was said, because Lexa was probably too focussed to pay attention to everything and Clarke had seen certain things in the others' words and behaviours.

''Thank you.'' Lexa answered politely.

Clarke was about to leave her office when she added ''Wait. You'll get into your eighth month faster than I can think and we need to talk about it.''

 _We don't need to talk about anything,_ Clarke thought.

''I'm fine, Lexa. I've seen a doctor, he told me the baby was doing well.''

Lexa raised a brow. ''Who did you see ?''

Clarke sighed. _She can't be serious._ ''A doctor, Lexa. One that examines people.''

Lexa didn't try harder on this one. She had to trust Clarke, but the blonde's lack of informations made it difficult. She slightly nodded. Maybe she could ask one more question. ''What's its gender ?''

Clarke looked down. Lexa noticed the girl always did it when she didn't want to answer a question or when she felt uncomfortable. ''I'd rather not know.'' Clarke said.

Lexa understood Clarke's decision. Some people just wanted to wait for the birth of their baby to discover its gender.

Clarke saw on Lexa's face she had answered well. She couldn't have said that she didn't know her baby's gender because she never went to the doctor.

''Are we done ?'' Clarke asked. Lying to Lexa was getting harder every time. But she had no choice.

''No, I actually wanted to talk about your maternity leave. You know you have the right to claim money while you don't work, right ?''

No. She didn't. Because she was no one.

''I'll look into it.'' she lied again.

''We don't let our pregnant employees without nothing. You can start working at home at the end of the month. You'll receive your work by email. You'll just have to send it back when it's done. Don't work too hard. Take the time you need. Come back when you feel ready to leave your baby to someone else while you're here.''

''Wait.'' Clarke stopped her. Was Lexa talking about the future ? The future Clarke was too scared to think about ? ''I still have time to think this through. The baby's not even born yet.''

Lexa took a step forward to try and reassure her. ''You're nearly there, Clarke. I'm sure you're gonna be a great mother.''

 _Like hell I will_. Clarke nodded. ''Well, I guess time will tell. I have to go. If I don't get food now I'm gonna eat someone !''

Lexa laughed. ''We can go get something if you want.''

Clarke wanted to. She had enjoyed her first dinner with Lexa but the more time she spent with her, the more lies she told. She was sick of it. ''I've got a huge plate of rice waiting for me at home.'' she lied _again_.

''Alright then. Eat well.'' Lexa smiled and finally let Clarke go.

Clarke's chest was heavy. She was stuck with her lies. Because she was too scared to tell the truth.

* * *

Another day. Another lie. Clarke didn't have any meeting today. She was glad there weren't so many because she didn't know how long she could keep lying to Lexa. The brunette had been so nice to her that Clarke had drowned in her own confusion. A Woods being nice. A terribly sweet Woods.

''One you wasn't enough, you had to make another one.'' she heard Murphy say.

The words stabbed her in the heart. She was no one having another no one. A second no one who was going to be no one because of her. She got so angry at herself she punched Murphy in the face before she could notice it.

She felt arms grabbing her again. She was pulled away from Murphy whose nose was bleeding and brought into her supervisor's office.

''You can't just walk around and punch people, Richards.'' Sinclair told her.

She didn't react. She had nothing to say. Murphy had been bullying her for months. She had tried to stay passive but too much was too much. She was on her nerves and she could not possibly hear any comment from any guy like Murphy.

''I know hormones don't help you,'' Sinclair added, ''but violence is not tolerated here.''

 _Tell that to the ones bullying your employees_ , the blonde thought.

''I would tell you to go home now and not to come back before your baby's out and fine, but when it comes to you I don't have my word.''

Clarke raised an eyebrow. Only Lexa could apparently deal with her.

A few minutes later, she was in the CEO's office.

''You should start working at home now.'' Lexa stated.

Clarke almost yelled. No. She could stay here a bit longer. She could handle both her pregnancy and her job. She could stay. She wanted too. Otherwise she'd spend her days in her car or outside.

''Month seven isn't over yet. I can keep working here.'' she tried convincing Lexa, but failed.

''There may be elevators in this building, it's still too much walking. You've been working a lot and I thank you for that, but now is time to rest. You need time for yourself, Clarke. Take it.''

Clarke swallowed hard. She couldn't refuse. She couldn't say she had no home to rest at.

''Thank you.'' she simply said, offering a smile to Lexa before walking out.

Lexa was surprised. Did Clarke just thank her ? It was unusual. Clarke had too much pride to accept someone else's help, so when she let someone do it, she just kept quiet about it. Clarke wasn't the thanking type because she thought she could handle herself.

Lexa sat back at her desk, trying to figure out what to think about it.

* * *

Clarke had two days left before finishing her week, and she had decided to keep working in the building for these last two days. Her supervisor had agreed with Lexa's consent. Two days and she'd be gone for at least three months. That's what she was given.

Today was her last meeting before her break. Nothing much happened during this meeting and Clarke gave only one sheet of paper to Lexa.

''I guess we won't meet again before a few months.'' Lexa said, trying to hide her disappointment.

She fetched some paper from her desk and handed it over to Clarke. ''Call me if you need anything. Or if there's any trouble with a file.''

Clarke looked at the card. She already knew she wasn't going to call Lexa. Not that she didn't want to, she liked talking to the brunette about simple things, but she had no phone.

She nodded, about to answer when she felt something knocking her belly from the inside. She let out a moan and brought a hand to her belly, surprised.

''Are you okay ?'' Lexa approached her, worried.

Clarke took a deep breath. ''Yes. Yes, I'm fine. It's just moving.''

She raised her head and saw Lexa looking at her belly with curiosity. She smiled. Lexa looked like a child discovering something incredible. She slowly grabbed Lexa's hand and laid it where she had felt the knock. It happened again, twice, and Lexa was amazed. It wasn't just a baby moving inside her mother's womb. It was _Clarke's baby_ moving inside Clarke.

Lexa had _her hand_ on Clarke and she could feel the girl's baby. She was filled with so many emotions. She wanted to stay like this. Keep Clarke beside her so she could make sure the blonde and her baby were safe. From this point, she knew she couldn't stop it. She could never stop caring about Clarke.

Clarke's hand left hers and Lexa pulled her hand away. If Clarke had taken her hand off of hers it was probably because she didn't want Lexa's hand on her belly anymore.

''Would you let me see you both after birth ?'' Lexa asked, hope shining into her eyes.

''Maybe. We'll see.'' Clarke answered.

She didn't want to say no to Lexa but how could she see her ? She couldn't see past her child's birth. She couldn't call Lexa or tell her to come to her imaginary place. It was all a _maybe_ , even for Clarke.

Lexa smiled. This maybe was all she could get from Clarke but at least it wasn't a no.

* * *

Clarke was back inside her car. She laid on the back seat, trying to free her mind from fear and worry. She was parked near the beach, where no one could see her dealing with her pregnancy issues. She had bought a salad and some snacks. She laughed. For long. Because each knock from her baby reminded her of how ironic the situation was.

* * *

Lexa was looking at the files Clarke had sent to her supervisor. She asked Sinclair to give Clarke her email address so the files would arrive on her personal mailbox. Some files were too important to be sent back to Sinclair. Lexa had sent a few french files herself, she definitely didn't want them to be sent back to anyone else than her.

She was disappointed Clarke didn't give any news in her emails. She wanted to know how she was doing since the last time they spoke three weeks ago so she opened her mailbox and wrote a personal email to Clarke. She just wanted news. She needed to know.

* * *

Clarke turned the computer on. She got used to coming into this cyber café on the town's main avenue. She worked on files a few hours and then walked back to her car. She was more exhausted than she was when she worked at the company's building because she had to walk more as she couldn't park her car nearby.

She opened her mailbox. Her belly was so big she couldn't get close enough to the table and it made it harder for her to work. But what she discovered this time wasn't a new file to work on. It was Lexa asking for news. Clarke had to think for fourty minutes before finding out what to write. She had to let her boss think everything was fine, exactly like she did at work.

She tapped ' _Hi, I'm almost up to eight months and tired all the time. But I'm doing good. You were right, I needed to rest. I hope what I sent you was okay. Thank you for asking. See ya, Clarke._ '

She sent it. As she had no file to work on today, she left the café and bought food on her way back to her car. She never carried too much money on her but enough to buy what she needed.

She ate a sandwich and left the rest of the food in her truck to eat later. She'd definitely be hungry in a few hours. She was often hungry. These last few days she had been eating something each three hours. She tried to avoid snacks as much as possible because it wasn't very healthy for her baby but she needed chocolate too much.

At night, she went to the public toilets into the park and washed herself as best as she could. It was hard for her to stand for longer than twenty minutes but she managed to clean herself up.

She went back to the beach, ate some biscuits, drank a bottle of water and fell asleep.

* * *

Lexa read Clarke's email over and over. She couldn't help but feel suspicious about it. Clarke had admitted _she was right_ and _thanked_ her ? She definitely wasn't used to so much nice words from Clarke. The blonde wasn't mean to her. She had been at the beginning but they had talked normally these last few months, since Clarke got her job back. But Clarke had never admitted such things.

Whether Clarke was really glad she could rest at home or she was lying to her.

Lexa still didn't know what to think. Clarke had let her help thus far, so maybe she'd ask her help if she needed it. But Clarke never asked for her help. It had already taken her so long to accept it.

Lexa sighed. She was going to worry for a bit longer. But at least for now Clarke was answering her emails.

She had to let her be a little. She wasn't her mom. Lexa smiled. She knew she worried too much but it was Clarke. She'd do anything to help her. And that feeling only kept growing since they met. Exactly like Clarke's belly.


	10. Chapter 10

Clarke was on her way to Woods Enterprises. She had received an email from Lexa telling her she was needed for an important meeting. Lexa needed her translator. Clarke had accepted and thought about what new lies she would tell Lexa. She had had two days to think about it.

She was out of breath when she entered Lexa's office. The brunette saw how tired Clarke was and apolized ''I'm sorry for making you come all this way. I really need you on this.''

''It's okay.'' Clarke replied once her breathing was back to normal. ''What are we up to ?''

Lexa smiled. Clarke had said _we_ and that little word was enough to make her day. She looked down at Clarke's belly and noted ''Eight months or so ?''

''And a half.'' Clarke pointed out.

''Time goes so fast.'' Lexa answered, thinking about the fact that she had missed having Clarke here. She had never been so addicted to anyone. Until Clarke appeared in her office.

''So ?'' Clarke interrupted the brunette's thoughts. ''This meeting ?''

''Right.'' Lexa had almost forgotten about it. Clarke had that power on her. ''It starts in half an hour. In the meeting room.''

Clarke nodded. Lexa stared at her for a moment. She was about to say something when the door burst open. A man entered

''This list still hasn't been taken care of.'' he said to Lexa.

Lexa sighed, knowing what he was talking about. Clarke raised an eyebrow.

''This is not in the company's policy anymore, Titus. You have to stop with those lists.''

But the man wasn't done. He didn't pay attention to Clarke. The blonde didn't even know if he had noticed her. He approached Lexa's desk when the brunette had sat back and threw the papers he was holding on it.

''This month, no less than eighty-seven employees have been found out. They have admitted THEMSELVES being here illegally.''

Clarke froze. He wasn't talking about...

''I am not my father, Titus.'' Lexa said calmly yet coldly. ''I do not send people away. Most of them are doing a good job here. They deserve to be given a chance.''

''There are people from your own country looking for a job !'' Titus yelled. ''And you give jobs away to immigrants !''

''They are people too.'' Lexa stated.

''THERE ARE ILLEGAL IMMIGRANTS !''

''ENOUGH !'' Lexa shouted. ''We will discuss this later. If you do anything against my employees by then you will join them on whatever plane you'd like to put them.''

Titus was clearly mad but he wasn't the boss. He left, outraged.

Clarke swallowed hard. Now she knew Lexa was not like her father. But she also knew that Lexa was hardly handling this matter. Lexa could not possibly know the truth about her.

It would put Lexa in a position she didn't deserve. Because Clarke had just discovered Lexa was fighting for her kind.

''I'm sorry for this... interruption.'' Lexa apologized. ''If you could keep this for yourself, it's not something that can be known.''

''Don't worry. I won't say anything.'' Clarke reassured her.

Indeed, she wasn't going to say anything. Not about her boss' fight with one of her closest employees. Not about her situation.

After the meeting, Lexa approached Clarke to tell her one last thing before the blonde's departure. ''Don't forget to call me if you need anything.''

Clarke nodded and left.

She was still shaken by what she had heard today in Lexa's office. It was a miracle she hadn't been found out yet.

She went back to her car. She was exhausted. She couldn't eat nor drink anything. She just needed to stop thinking. So she fell asleep.

* * *

Two days without being able to get those informations out of her head. She was still hearing Titus yelling about doing something against the illegal immigrants working at Woods Enterprises.

And Lexa. Clarke could still hear Lexa standing up for them. But Titus seemed filled with indignation. It seemed likely he was not going to let this go. And now Clarke was even more freaked out than she was before.

So she had slept for most of the last two days. Sleeping was the only way of getting out of her thoughts. But she had some nightmares and woke up sweating on the back seat of her car.

If only it had just been the nightmares. Clarke's belly hurt. And this morning, her waters broke.

She was stuck in her car, not being able to move. To go where, anyway ? She couldn't go to the hospital, they'd ask her her ID.

She was laying on one of her two blankets. It was wet because of all the amniotic fluid that had spilled on it. Clarke moaned as a new wave of pain was tearing her body. She couldn't move. She had to wait until it happened. _It's already happening_ , she panicked.

 _It's too soon,_ but she was a bit more than eight and a half months pregnant. She should have expected the birth. But she couldn't think of it and now it was happening she was freaked out at the idea of becoming a mother. What was she going to do with a baby ?

She screamed. She was sweating a lot and her head was spinning. But she couldn't pass out. Not now. She had to help her baby out or it would die.

 _It._ She had thought so much of her baby as a _it_ that she didn't even consider the fact that she was going to have a son or a daughter. _Not mine_. She screamed again. If she still hadn't accepted her pregnancy, the pain was real enough for her to consider it as hers.

She was holding on to the front seat with her left hand, her grip tightening every time she felt another contraction. She had been in labor for hours. She didn't know what time it was but the sky had darkened and she could barely see in her car. Parked near the beach, there was only the moonlight to help her through it.

Clarke was so exhausted she had almost fallen asleep. She was fighting to stay awake. She was trying to handle pain. After all she had been through, she couldn't give up now.

She screamed as she felt her baby starting to leave her body. A few more efforts and it would be out. Her face was covered in sweat and tears. She didn't have much strength left so she used it to lift up a bit to put her hands on the tiny chest between her legs. One last push and the baby's legs were out.

Clarke had it in front of her, holding it with both of her hands. _Him_.

 _I have a son._ She laid back. She carefully put him onto her chest. He was crying. She grabbed her second blanket and put it onto them, leaving enough space for her son to breathe. She burst out in tears. _I have a son._ As soon as she had seen him, he was no longer Finn's baby. He was hers. Her baby. Her son. She had a hand on his back covered by the blanket. Her head fell on its side. She was too tired. Her baby was out. She let sleep take her.

Cries. Baby cries. Her son's cries. She raised her head as she opened her eyes. It was still dark outside. The newborn boy was crying, probably craving for food. Clarke understood. Her breasts hadn't been hurting for so long for her not to use their milk. She lifted up, moaning in pain, to be in a sitted position. She held her baby carefully and took off her shirt with her other hand. She did the same for her bra. Her baby started sucking, his tiny right hand scratching her skin.

Clarke couldn't keep the tears from coming out again. She was a mother. The baby she was holding was a proof of it, so real that it hurt her. But now she had him against her, she didn't regret having him. The first time she saw him, she felt so much love bonding them. He was her son and she knew she had to protect him. But there she was, alone in her car. If her body hadn't produced milk, her son would be starving.

* * *

She had to wait one day before being able to get up. Her body hurt like hell and her car smelled so bad she would've thrown up if she hadn't gotten used to it. She managed to get out of her car to join the front seat. She laid her son on her lap, holding him with a hand. _Alright._ She sighed. She had to do this.

She drove with one hand and joined the town's mall. She grabbed what was left of her money from the trunk. She had to leave her son in her car, he was sleeping, wrapped up in the second blanket.

She bought a baby seat to put into her car, some baby clothes and diapers. The clothes were very small because her baby was. He seemed no heavier than five pounds. She hurried. Most of people had looked at her with curiosity because she was dirty and didn't smell very good. But she didn't care. Her son was waiting for her in her car.

She opened the door and took the baby to put him in his new seat. She got back to her usual spot near the beach. She took a bottle of water and used the sheet that was covering her son to clean him up a bit. She put the wet blanket on the front passenger seat to let it dry and put him inside a white baby bodysuit after placing a big diaper. She had bought a dozen bodysuits. She knew he was going to grow up fast but she wanted him to be clean and comfortable.

She fed him and held him against her for a while, laying a finger on his tiny cheek. He didn't open his eyes much. He only slept and cried when he was hungry. _You're so beautiful._ She was amazed. He was so small. So fragile. Yet he had so much power on her. Clarke had to care now because she had a little boy to look after.

 _He needs a name. At least a first one._

She couldn't give him an actual name. To the state he would always be no one, but she could at least name him. So she wouldn't say 'him' or 'you' all the time. She thought of it for a while. He barely moved, too sleepy. And then it occured to her. _Aden._ Her father's second first name.

 _Welcome to this world, Aden._ She looked around for a few seconds and her smile faded away. It wasn't a home. This was the best she could offer her son. And shame came back to hit her.

* * *

 _Clarke should be giving birth soon now,_ Lexa thought.

Her employee was supposed to be nine months and a week pregnant. But she didn't give any news, so she was probably still pregnant. Lexa hoped it was it. She had sent a couple emails to Clarke which had remained unanswered since she had sent the first one three weeks ago.

 _I'm sure she's fine._ No, she wasn't sure at all. She worried so much about Clarke that she had decided to pay her a visit. She looked into Clarke's file and wrote the new – supposedly right – address and left the skyscraper she was working at. She had hesitated long enough. She needed to see her, no matter what the blonde would think of her coming to the apartment unannounced.

She parked her car in front of the brown building. She had once brought Clarke back here.

She looked at the numbers at the front door. She didn't know which one would ring Clarke's bell, so she waited for someone to come and open the door. She entered the building and went upstairs. Floor 1. Apartment 9A. She exhaled deeply, anxious, and rang the bell.

A man opened the door and glared at Lexa. Alcohol was the only smell coming out of the apartment. Lexa's heart started beating faster. ''Is Clarke here ?'' she asked.

She was trying not to jump to conclusions.

''There's no Clarke around here.'' the man said before shutting the door.

Lexa's hope flew away. She leaned against the wall, breathless. _She lied again._

And worry hit her. If Clarke had lied, she was probably still in the streets. Lexa didn't believe Clarke had an apartment somewhere in town. She wouldn't have lied about her address if she had one, there was no reason to do that.

She got back to her, hitting the wheel with both of her hands. She wasn't just angry at Clarke for lying to her. Clarke seemed to have her reasons. She was angry for not discovering it earlier. Clarke was about to give birth – if she hadn't done it yet – and was probably alone somewhere.

 _Please, tell me you chose the hospital._

Lexa was helpless again. How could she find Clarke ? The young woman could be anywhere.

* * *

Aden was five weeks old. Clarke had tried working on files at the cyber café but she was kicked out before she could even send one file back. A crying baby in a café was apparently not appreciated. She hadn't sent any reviewed file for a month and couldn't get any more money. The last time she went to the company's bank to get paid in cash, she was told her supervisor had ordered to stop paying Clarke until she worked again.

Lexa was probably not aware of it because she was the one who had offered Clarke the possibility to work at home. But Clarke couldn't use any computer, so she couldn't work anymore.

She had just fed Aden. She was cuddling him.

''Don't grow too fast, baby, alright ?'' she whispered.

She had no more money and she had spent the rest of it on clothes and diapers. But this was a week ago and now she was trying to change diapers only once a day, because the day would come she wouldn't have any diaper left. Aden often cried because of his dirty diaper and Clarke had no choice but to let him cry. Hearing a baby cry was a thing, but hearing your baby cry for a good reason was something else. And her hunger didn't help her. She had eaten what was left of her snacks three days ago and was holding on with water. She kept reminding herself that her son was fed and had clean clothes.

She couldn't say the same thing about herself. She had used all of her money to buy what her son needed and was still wearing her pregnancy clothes. They were too big for her but at least she wasn't naked.

She fell asleep sitting on the back seat again. She was leaning against the door. She didn't have room to lie down, her son's seat was big. But he mattered more than she did. He was the only thing that kept her going. She had been so tired lately, and hungry, and she was living each day without thinking too much about the next one. She had bought what her son needed for now but she didn't know how it would go in one month, or two, or even a year. She'd rather not think about it.

She opened her eyes, frowning. It was dark outside. Aden was crying. She took him out of his seat and held him close. He was probably hungry. He woke up at least twice each night. Clarke took her long shirt off to feed him. Aden ate but he kept crying afterward. It took Clarke half an hour to figure out why her son had been crying for so long.

 _He's cold._ Spring was cool, that's why Clarke had put her only blanket around Aden's tiny body, but apparently it wasn't enough. This night was colder than the last one, Clarke felt it a bit too well. She had to throw away the sheet she had given birth on because she failed cleaning it and it was ruined.

She leaned back as much as she could and laid Aden on her naked chest, covering them both with the blanket. She laid a hand on his back and tried to soothe him.

''It's okay, baby, you're okay...'' she tried to say but her voice broke.

Her son's little hand was scratching her breast as if he was trying to hold on to her. Aden was only a month old and he was already suffering. What will Clarke do when her breasts wouldn't provide any more milk ? _I won't even be able to feed him._

Minute after minute, Aden's cries didn't seem to stop. Clarke tried to cuddle him but it wasn't enough.

''Come on Aden, stop crying.'' Her eyes filled with tears as she thought about everything she should've done for him and couldn't. Her heart broke when she realized Aden wasn't going to make it this way. ''Please, honey, stop crying...'' he didn't, and she started crying, her cries joining her son's.

She held him closer. She was no one. Because of her, Aden was no one too. She had to give him a better life. One she could never give him herself.

Clarke laid Aden back into his seat and covered him with the blanket. She put her shirt back on and climbed onto the front seat. She looked into the glove compartment. She found what she wanted. Lexa's paper. It was a personal one and there was even her address on it.

Clarke looked back at her son. ''I'm sorry Aden. I'm so sorry you have to go through this. But I'm gonna make things right for you, okay ? You're gonna have a good life.''

She bit her lip to avoid moaning. Pain was crushing her. But she had to do it.

And there she was, in the middle of the night, on Lexa's doorstep. Aden was wrapped into the blanket, Clarke could only see his little face. His eyes were open. So blue. He didn't close them. He was staring at Clarke as if he was understanding what was going on. But he was so young. Too young. Clarke had to give him a chance even if it meant breaking her own heart.

She slowly kissed him on his forehead, staying longer to enjoy his touch one last time.

She raised her head and carefully laid him on the ground.

''I'm sorry Aden,'' she whispered ''but you can't be no one's son.''

She took her hand off of him and rang the doorbell several times. She heard someone moving inside and she took off, not even waiting to make sure the door had opened. She couldn't wait. She couldn't be seen.

She went back into her car and left.

* * *

 **Clarke gave birth alone and barely survived. She's exhausted, hungry, and she just gave up on the only one who kept her going : her son.**

 **Will she make it now she's alone without any money in her condition ?**

 **One thing is sure : she's definitely not out of the woods. ;)**

 **So, did you like this chapter ? Things aren't getting any easier for our girls, but it will in a few chapters (it has to someday, right ?)**


	11. Chapter 11

Lexa had walked and driven around the city for two hours. She did every night. Clarke's friends did too, at different times of the day. They had to find Clarke.

Lexa had been looking for her for weeks now and she was worried sick. The girl had stopped answering her emails and apparently she had stopped working too. Was she okay ? Lexa knew Clarke was strong and brave but the birth of a baby is something hard to handle on your own.

Tonight, nothing. No trace of her. Lexa was starting to think Clarke had left town. She hoped not. But she had no means to find her. Every information from Clarke's files were fake. _Again_.

Somehow, Lexa was mad for worrying so much about someone who kept disappearing. But it was also because Clarke kept disappearing that Lexa was worrying. Clarke was a whole mystery herself. The only question she had answered was about her living on the streets and she wasn't even herself when she had replied.

She swallowed hard. She was in her couch drinking wine, thinking of how useless she was. She was Lexa Woods ! She should be able to do something !

That's how it had been going every night for weeks. She didn't spend her nights at Woods Enterprises. She was at home. Drinking. Waiting for something to finally happen. For a clue. For a call. For her heart to stop beating so fast at the thought of Clarke lying somewhere with a dead baby in her arms.

If Lexa hadn't felt so well around someone for years, she hadn't felt as bad either at that person's absence and, maybe, danger. Because that _maybe you'll see us_ Clarke had given her had turned into a _maybe she's alive_.

It rang. It rang ? Lexa finished her drink. It rang again. And again. _What the – ?_ She rose. She wondered if it was just a dream or if it was real, but whoever was ringing the bell was doing it enough to make her go to the door. The ringing had stopped when she reached it and she opened the door. There was no one. She sighed. _Seriously ? A joke at this time of the night ?_ But then she saw it. Lying on her doorstep, wrapped up in a blanket. A baby. Lexa didn't have to wonder whose baby it was. She only knew one person who could have left a baby on Lexa Woods' doorstep.

 _No._ She held him. Its eyes were closed but it was breathing. It was pale. Lexa brought the baby inside. _No ! Hell no !_ She sat back onto the couch, looking at the baby for several minutes before realizing she wasn't dreaming.

It was so small. It opened its eyes for a few seconds. _Shit !_ Its eyes were light blue. Lexa thought of a dream again, but she had never dreamt Clarke's blue eyes, so this baby couldn't be an illusion.

 _Holy crap Clarke..._ Lexa couldn't believe Clarke had given up on her own baby. Lexa went to her room and laid the baby onto her king size bed. She took the blanket off of the baby and put it back onto it. This way the baby would be more comfortable.

She sat beside him. It wasn't her baby to take care of. She had to find Clarke. _Tell me you're not leaving town..._

She looked at the baby again. She was going to take care of that little thing and find its mother. There was no way Clarke was leaving her child. Not after all she'd been through.

* * *

Clarke was sleeping on the back seat again. She put her son's seat on the front one. She should've given it along with her son. But it was too late now.

Clarke had thought she couldn't sleep ever again. Her heart ached and she had cried for a couple of hours before exhaustion had put her to sleep. She had given up a part of her. The little thing she had loved from the start.

After leaving Lexa's building, she had driven toward her usual spot. She hadn't thought about anywhere else to go. She was too exhausted and hurt. Her mind had guided her there.

She slept for so long it took a while for her stomach to cry again. She was so hungry. When was the last time she had eaten ? It was days ago. She drunk a bottle of water she had filled from the park's washroom's sink two days ago. She had ten other bottles like this one. But she wasn't sure she'd be able to fill them again once they'd all be empty.

She let some water run onto her face. Cold water to wake her up. To bring her back to reality. But reality was the same nightmare she had hoped to wake up from.

She stayed on the back seat for hours before she couldn't handle herself anymore. She had to move. Do something. Anything to keep her mind busy.

 _I stink_. And her whole car did too because she never cleaned it up.

She was watching down the road as she drove. She thought about Aden. He was probably in Lexa's arms. She hoped so. She thought about Lexa. She would've stayed. She would've let herself fall into Lexa's arms. She would've stopped fighting. If she wasn't as scared. If her son hadn't become more important than her well-being. If her son's life didn't matter more than her own.

The car slowed down. Clarke's empty mind took fifteen minutes to realize Clarke hadn't stopped the car. Her foot was still pushing the pedal. Clarke released her foot's pressure on it. Her car had run out of gasoline.

She didn't hear the other cars' horns. She didn't hear people yelling. She didn't feel cold in her dirty big size clothes. She couldn't even see the road anymore, as her head was slowly dropping onto the wheel, but if she could see it, she'd probably think about it as the road that would take her far away from Aden and Lexa.

* * *

Lexa had spent the morning buying baby stuff. She didn't know much about babies but she bought what she thought was necessary. She asked her adoptive sister to come help her. Anya was thirty-three and had two kids of her own. Lexa had briefly told her about how she got Aden and Anya was clearly shocked. Anya was never shocked. But this time, she was. Because she knew she couldn't have given her kids away. It would have broken her heart. It was probably the only thing who could break Anya Woods' heart.

Lexa had thought of calling Luna instead of Anya, but Luna didn't have kids. Lexa had two adoptive sisters. She was the only heir to Woods Enterprises. But both her sisters had important status inside the company.

''I have to go back to my own kids. Call me if you need anything.'' Anya said before heading out.

Lexa was alone again with a baby. A _young_ baby. How old was he ? He was so small Lexa had to go to the pharmacy to buy diapers his size. Anya had told her to because otherwise Lexa wouldn't have known where to get proper diapers.

She was feeding the little boy when her cell phone rang. At first, she let it. But whoever was calling her was trying hard to reach her. Hoping it was Clarke calling, she laid the baby back into his cradle and got her phone out of her pocket.

'' _Lexa ?_ '' Lexa tried not to sigh. It wasn't Clarke. ''Matt ? Why are you calling ? I haven't ordered any pizza.''

'' _That friend of yours, the blonde one ? She's not doing well. People have called 911. I was wondering if you knew who she was so they could ID her when they arrive._ ''

 _Shit._ ''No, no, don't let them take her. Know what ? Wait, I'm coming !''

She ran out of her apartment holding her car keys. She had to leave Clarke's son alone for a few minutes, but she was sure he'd be fine.

* * *

Matt helped bringing Clarke at Lexa's apartment. They put her on the couch. Lexa had arrived right before the police. A hoodie hiding her face, she had simply taken Clarke out of the girl's dirty old car and had put the blonde into her own car before driving away.

She got lucky. And she hoped Clarke had got lucky too.

Matt explained how he found her. He was on his motorcycle, driving through town to deliver pizza when he was stuck on the main avenue. Many cars blocked the way. He had driven in between them and had seen the perpetrator of all of this : an old car and, lying against the wheel, a blonde girl who he swore he had seen before. Looking closely, he had recognized the girl that had made Lexa order another pizza for and had thought she was probably important for Lexa. Consequently, he had called her.

Lexa tried not to embrace him. She just said a simple ''Thank you.'' but she was really glad Matt had called her. Thanks to him she had found Clarke.

Matt left. He had to go back to work. Jackson arrived a while after. He left his office as soon as Lexa told him about Clarke.

The young mother was terribly pale. She was barely moving. She had let Lexa and Matt carry her all the way to Lexa's apartment. Her eyes were closed. Her lips purple. Her clothes were way too big for her, dirty and ragged. _What have you done, Clarke..._

Jackson examined her and stood up to tell Lexa ''She's dehydrated. I don't think she's eaten anything recently.''

Lexa swore she had just felt her heart leave her body to drop on the floor. She swallowed hard. ''Will she be okay ?''

''Now she should be. I'm gonna get her the medecine she needs. Meanwhile, keep her warm and give her some food as soon as she wakes up.''

Lexa watched Jackson leave. She was breathless. Clarke had been homeless for months. Lexa wanted to know more about her but she wasn't sure if she could handle it. The only idea of Clarke alone with her son outside was tearing her appart. She should've forced Clarke to stay with her.

She was the fierce Lexa Woods, right ? So why the fuck didn't she keep Clarke by her side ?

Probably because Lexa Woods didn't care about anyone.

But everytime she looked at Clarke, everytime she thought about that mysterious young talented woman, she did. She cared.

She sat on the floor, leaning against the couch. She took Clarke's pale hand in hers. _You're here now. And you're not going back out there again._

* * *

Clarke looked a bit less pale than when she arrived about six hours ago. Jackson had come back to give her medicine but had to go back to work. He told Lexa to call him tomorrow if the girl still hadn't woken up.

The brunette was preparing a meal for Clarke. She would put it in the fridge and warm it up into the microwave as soon as Clarke woke up.

She heard cries from the babyphone on the counter. The baby was probably hungry but Lexa needed a few minutes before she could take off the pan from fire.

In the living room, Clarke frowned. She was trying to get out of the dream that had been holding her down for hours. _Is that... ?_ Echoes. No. Not echoes. It felt real. More than anything else she had heard in her dream. She sighed, trying to get back to reality. _Aden_. Her son was crying. Did she have failed in getting her son safe ? Was she still in the car, holding him close so he would be warm ?

She opened her eyes, blinking for a few seconds. It wasn't her car. It was somewhere else. She didn't know this place. She got up, her head was spinning but she wasn't going to sit down before she made sure her son was safe.

She walked toward her baby's cries and reached a room. She was barely standing.

 _Aden_. Here he was, in a cradle. _I thought I'd never see you again._ And she shouldn't have. She wasn't supposed to be with him, she was supposed to be far away from him, where her life couldn't affect him.

But she couldn't resist. He was crying. So she took him in her arms. _Just a few minutes._ There was a bed behind her and she laid down on it to avoid falling to the ground with her son in her arms. She put him on her chest. He slowly stopped crying, realizing who was holding him. His tiny left hand opened and closed, scratching Clarke's breast. Clarke couldn't hold back her tears.

 _He recognizes me_. She brought a hand to his back, feeling her head dropping on its side. Even exhausted she did her best to protect him.

Back into the kitchen, Lexa could finally take off the pan from fire. She turned this one off and got out of the kitchen before realizing the babyphone had gone quiet a couple of minutes ago. She hurried. The baby had never stopped crying before getting his food.

 _Oh._ Her heart melted. Clarke was asleep on her bed, the baby sleeping on his mother's chest.

 _She must've heard him._ She sat on the other side of the bed, watching them for a few minutes. Even in her condition, Clarke was gorgeous. And so brave.

But Lexa hadn't forgotten her doctor's words and slowly took the baby off of his mother's chest to put him back into the cradle. He didn't wake up. She then sat beside Clarke and laid a hand on the girl's shoulder.

''Clarke.'' she whispered, only making the girl frown. ''Clarke !''

It took at least a minute for Clarke to finally open her eyes. She didn't remember much. ''What... ?''

''Sorry for waking you up like this, but you need to eat something.'' Lexa stated.

 _Food_. Her hunger woke up. She was so hungry she could barely feel her belly moaning.

''Come on.'' Lexa added before helping her get on her feet.

Clarke let Lexa bring her to the couch. She was so confused she couldn't even refuse the brunette's help.

Lexa reappared into the living room with a plate full of hot risotto. She gave it to Clarke and the blonde didn't even bother to grab the fork Lexa was trying to give her. She was too hungry. She didn't even mind burning her hands with the hot rice.

''You're going to throw up if you eat too fast.''

Clarke knew it and she tried to slow down. She was slowly coming back to reality. Soon she'd realize she was in the place she had driven away from a few days ago, with the person she had pushed away for months.

She was done eating, feeling dizzy. Her stomach was full. Something she hadn't felt for days. And even before that, she had only eaten snacks. Not any actual meal.

She was sitting deep into the couch, staring at nothing. Her mind was empty.

She felt someone sitting beside her and only remembered who it was when she heard her speak.

''Clarke...'' Lexa didn't know where to start. She didn't want to start by asking a question because it seemed Clarke was scared of them. ''You were found sleeping into your car.''

Clarke didn't react and Lexa decided to go on explaining how she got here.

''My friend, the pizza delivery boy, found you. You were...'' She hesitated. The words she was about to say were harsh but Clarke had to hear them to realize how serious it was. ''You almost died, Clarke. And if Matt hadn't found you, the police would have taken you.''

Clarke's eyes widened at those last words. _Police_. Lexa saw Clarke's reaction. Was Clarke so scared of the police that she didn't even go to an hospital to give birth to her son ?

''Oh, Clarke... don't tell me you gave birth alone into your car...''

Clarke's jaw clenched. She remembered all of it. The pain she had felt waiting for her child to be born. The love she had felt when she saw her son for the first time. The constant fear of not being able to take care of him properly. He could've died because of her and she was so mad at herself !

''Clarke...'' Lexa whispered when the first tear left the girl's right eye.

Clarke turned her head so Lexa couldn't see it.

''Clarke, why didn't you stay ? When you dropped your son here, you could've stayed. You would've been safe here. You could've even given birth here, Jackson would've helped you through it.''

Clarke was lying on the couch again, her face against it. She already knew she was a bad mother. She didn't need someone to remind her.

Lexa got up and kneeled down in front of Clarke.

''You're safe here, Clarke.'' she said before leaving the girl some space.

* * *

Clarke slept for a couple of hours before waking up again. She felt the urge to see her son and it took her five minutes to reach the bedroom without falling. She looked into the cradle. He was sleeping. She carefully held him. He moaned and opened his eyes. Clarke felt her heart beat faster when she saw the small blue eyes. She laid a finger on his fist. She looked at his short black hair which he was born with. He closed his eyes. He was tired and soothed by his mother's touch. Clarke smiled. She had missed him so much since she had abandoned him. But her heart ached because she knew she couldn't stay.

'' _Je t'aime,_ Aden.'' she said before kissing him on the cheek and laying him back into the cradle.

''So he does have a name.''

Clarke turned around, her hand still on the cradle. She still felt dizzy even if she felt better than earlier. Lexa was standing there, near the door. Her hair was wet, she was probably just out of the shower.

 _No. He doesn't have any name. He's no one. Because of me._ Clarke couldn't help but remind herself.

Lexa had been watching them. She was amazed by the love they shared. And Clarke had just spoken french to him. She had never accepted to do so before, as if it was that big of a deal. But to her son, she had.

''Have you registered his birth ?'' Lexa asked, even though the answer seemed obvious.

Clarke looked down. Questions. Again. ''I'll do it later.'' she lied.

''Are you going to make up a fake certificate ?'' Lexa asked coldly, and Clarke sat on the floor as she watched her leave. Her lies didn't matter because she wasn't staying anyway.

She stayed by Aden's side for half an hour until she could stand up again. A last glance to her son and she walked away from him.

Lexa was cleaning up the kitchen when she heard the main door unlocking. She rushed to it and put a hand on the handle Clarke was turning.

Clarke's grip on the handle tightened.

''You'd leave your son again.'' Lexa coldly said.

''He deserves a better life.'' Clarke said, trying to keep her voice steady.

''And you think growing up without his mother will make him happy ?''

Clarke sighed, pushed Lexa away and opened the door, but Lexa closed it before the blonde could set a foot outside. Clarke's eyes darkened.

''He will forget about me.''

''No he won't.'' Lexa's voice seemed softer as she said ''The bond you share with each other is unique. He needs you, Clarke.''

Those words stabbed Clarke in the heart. Lexa only hurt her more. There was no way she could change her mind.

''He needs you more !'' she shouted. ''You can give him a good life. You're Lexa Woods, right ? Do something right for once !''

 _What ?_ Lexa was more than surprised by Clarke's words. _Right for once ?_ What exactly did she do wrong ? She was trying to help her. And if Clarke wasn't going to listen to her, she was going to make her.

''One step outside and I'll call social services on your son.'' She said, regaining her stoic composure.

Clarke's blood was boiling inside her veins. She couldn't believe Lexa had actually threatened her son. She was one thing. But Aden ? She took a step toward the brunette. ''You wouldn't do that to a kid.''

Lexa stared back. She was far from giving in. ''I would do that to you.'' She swallowed hard. ''If it's the only way to make you stay.''

''I fucking hate you Lexa.'' Clarke said, walking away from the brunette to go back to her son.

Lexa grabbed her wrist.

''So you're ready to leave your son for good here but when I talk about social services, people who could actually find a lovely couple waiting to raise a child, you back off ?''

Clarke tried to free herself from Lexa's grip but Lexa was holding her tight, so she pushed the brunette as hard as she could with her free arm.

''Fuck you ! Just – fuck you ! If you don't want him, fine ! I'll take him and I'll go !''

Lexa was still standing. Clarke wasn't strong enough. She wasn't supposed to be standing. Lexa noticed Clarke's teary eyes before the blonde turned to walk toward the bedroom. Clarke wanted to leave so badly. Why ? Couldn't she stop running away and stay safe for a while ?

Lexa followed Clarke into the bedroom and grabbed her again before she could reach the baby.

''Let me go !'' Clarke yelled, her wrist trapped in Lexa's hand again.

''I'll call the police, Clarke. Without your car you won't go far. To them you won't lie to for long.''

Clarke tried to bite Lexa's arms out of panic, but Lexa let go before she could do it and, because Lexa's grip had been the only thing that held her on her feet, she fell down, her face covered in tears yet again.

Lexa tried to come closer to her by kneeling down but Clarke tried to kick her away.

''Clarke, you're safe here ! Why would you leave ?'' she tried to ask softly.

''I hate you !'' was the only answer Clarke could give.

Lexa stared at her for a few seconds before realizing ''You've lied so much you don't even know how to tell the truth anymore. You're stuck in your own game.''

''It's not a fucking game ! But you and your fancy family never realized it.''

Lexa's face dropped in confusion. ''Clarke, what are you talking about ?''

Clarke wasn't done. This wasn't about the truth, but her hatred towards the Woods coming out.

''You're Lexa Woods. You know what I'm talking about. You use people as toys. You throw them away as soon as you're bored of playing with them. Their lives don't matter to you. You're just glad you can live comfortably with all your money and fame.''

Lexa was used to Clarke's anger. She knew Clarke always spit harsh words in these moments, but she still didn't get why Clarke hated her so much. Her ? Or her family ? Both, apparently.

Aden had woken up because of all the yelling. He started crying. Clarke was glaring at Lexa, hoping her words had hurt the brunette enough for Lexa to let her go. But Lexa was stoic. She didn't show anything.

''Whatever you say, Clarke. I'm not letting you leave. I'm Lexa Woods, right ? Try to leave this building and the whole world will know about you.''

Clarke had never been as mad in her entire life. She was already heartbroken before but now she also felt betrayed. Her son was crying and she couldn't even stand up to reach him. She was physically down, and Lexa had just made her lose her mind.

She had closed her eyes for a few seconds, trying to contain her anger, when she felt a hand under her chin. She opened her eyes, finding Lexa right beside her. Lexa wanted Clarke to look back at her, so Clarke looked down. It didn't stop Lexa from saying ''I won't ask any more question if you stay. As I said, you're safe here.''

Clarke was left alone with her own demons again. Lexa had made it sound like a choice in her last words but it was far from being one. Clarke had no other choice but to stay. And it was freaking her out.

She had done everything she could to bring Lexa to hate her, but Lexa still wanted to help. And if Lexa was right about something, it was about Clarke not being able to spill out her secret. Clarke was stuck in the lie of a life she had made up.

* * *

 **Hi !**

 **The game has changed : Clarke needs Lexa to hate her because she's afraid of what could happen to her and her son if anyone came to learn her secrets. How long will it lasts ? And more importantly, how far will Clarke go ?**

 **So, what do you think of this chapter ?**

 **Thanks to everyone who reviewed, I appreciate it. Next chapter on tuesday !**


	12. Chapter 12

Lexa didn't know how to deal with Clarke. The blonde had first taken a shower, put clean clothes on, and Lexa had even found her stealing food from the fridge. Lexa hadn't showed it but seeing Clarke trying to hide in the kitchen just to eat a sandwich had made her smile. She wished she could talk to her, but she didn't even have the chance to.

Clarke didn't leave Lexa's bedroom, where Aden's cradle was, and Lexa had to sleep in the guest room. She hadn't seen Clarke in three days, except for the times she had checked on her at night when the blonde was sleeping with Aden lying on her chest. She had noticed Clarke had put her old dirty clothes back on. And the girl was probably not eating because this time nothing was missing from the kitchen.

Lexa had tried leaving a plate and Clarke's meds in front of her bedroom's door, but Clarke never took them.

Clarke surely wanted Lexa to regret her decision. But Lexa couldn't regret it. Clarke was safe here.

But Lexa wasn't going to let the blonde starve, neither would she let her rot in those foul clothes. She had to make Clarke come out of the room. And she had come up with a pretty good idea to achieve this goal.

* * *

Clarke was feeding Aden. She had everything she needed for him here. She had tons of diapers, clothes, a nice proper bed for him, baby bottles with baby milk and bottles of water. Lexa had bought everything Aden needed. Clarke would thank her for it if she could. But she was frightened.

Lexa had done nothing but to help her. And everytime Lexa tried to reassure her, Clarke wanted to give in. Lexa's arms seemed warm and Clarke had been cold for so long ! She didn't feel safe. Outside. Here, in Lexa's apartment. She was haunted by her past and she didn't know how to protect herself from it for good. So she lied. To the friends she made since she got here. To her boss who was becoming more than that.

But it was worse, now. She knew the time would come she would have to get out of this room and tell the truth. That she was an illegal immigrant. That her mother had an international job that didn't permit her grown up daughter to stay. That she probably could have got the American citizenship by marrying the father of her son. But Finn was worse than living in the streets. He was worse than giving birth alone into a dirty old car. He didn't really love her. He owned her. And he even tried to use her status as a way to have the upperhand on her. But she ran away. And she kept running away since then.

Some music interrupted her thoughts. She frown. _Was that... ?_ French. It was a french song. One she knew too well. The sound was loud. Clarke's jaw clenched as she put Aden back into his cradle. If Lexa wanted to piss her off, she did.

Clarke entered the living room and saw Lexa standing in the middle of it. The song was louder now she was closer to where it came from. And there was _that_. Lexa. Saying the lyrics over the singer's voice.

''Ne me quitte pas. Il faut oublier, tout peut s'oublier.'' _Don't leave me. We have to forget, everything can be forgotten._ Her accent was still bad, terrible, actually. But she went on, staring at Clarke. ''Oublier le temps des malentendus et le temps perdu.'' _Forget the time of misunderstandings and the time we lost._

Clarke could almost hear herself singing inside of her head.

''Moi je t'offrirai des perles de pluie venues de pays où il ne pleut pas.'' _I'll offer you rain pearls from countries where it doesn't rain._

Clarke tried hard not to smile because Lexa was actually amazingly cute. The brunette was doing her best to pronounce each word correctly and remember every lyric.

''Je creuserai la terre jusqu'après ma mort pour couvrir ton corps d'or et de lumière.'' _I'll dig into the ground until my death to cover your body with gold and light._

It was adorable. Really. And she would've loved it a few years ago when her dad was still alive. But now ? Hearing a french song only reminded her of her father's death and the song being covered by a Woods didn't help. She stood, frozen, for two minutes. Lexa kept saying the lyrics.

''Ne me quitte pas. Je t'inventerai des mots insensés que tu comprendras.'' _Don't leave me._ _I'll make up insane words for you which you will understand._

''Je te parlerai de ces amants-là qui ont vu deux fois leurs cœurs s'embraser.'' _I'll tell you about those lovers who have seen twice their hearts ignite._

The music stopped. Clarke was the reason for it. The song wasn't over but Clarke couldn't take it anymore. Her heat was beating too fast for her to be able to control whatever feeling was going to win her inner conflict.

Lexa saw Clarke's reaction yet she still added « Ne me quitte pas. Ne me quitte pas. » and once more, in a whisper ''Ne me quitte pas.'' _Don't leave me._

''What's wrong with you ?'' Clarke asked bitterly.

''I wanted to see you and you wouldn't come out.'' Lexa opted for the truth.

''Maybe I didn't want to come out of the bedroom because I don't want to see you.''

Clarke wished she didn't need to be mean to Lexa but it was necessary. Lexa had to hate her. Otherwise the brunette would never let her leave. But there was also this : her son. Lexa had to hate Clarke enough to let her go but at the same time she had to keep Aden. Lexa had money. Lexa was American. Lexa could offer Aden both the citizenship and a wealthy life.

''I don't understand, Clarke.'' Lexa decided to only aim for the truth. Contrary to Clarke, she wasn't going to lie. ''I offered you my help which you accepted once. You seemed fine. You didn't seem to hate me when we had dinner.'' She sighed. She never thought she'd have this kind of conversation with anyone. ''So why do you keep pushing me away ? What have I done wrong ?''

Clarke could be honest and say Lexa had done nothing wrong. She helped her. She even saved her life and, more importantly, her son's life. Clarke was torn because the person she had in front of her didn't look like the cruel Lexa Woods she imagined.

''Everything.'' she said. She couldn't stop. Everytime she thought of telling the truth her mind alarmed her. She was so scared of being sent away. She was terrified at the idea of Lexa finding out who she really was. She was so scared of ending up like her father, and it was worse now she had a son. What would happen to him ?

''If I ask you to have dinner with me right now, how would it be wrong ?'' Lexa asked, her heart racing. _Shit. Am I really doing this ? She doesn't even like me !_

''Will you threaten to call the police if I refuse ?'' Clarke spit.

Lexa couldn't help but smile. ''No. You have every right to refuse. I really think you should eat though. You know... I made fries... and there's a huge steak waiting for you.''

 _Damn I'm hungry._ ''See ? Always buying me with food. You need to stop. It's not how you make someone like you.''

Even though Clarke sounded serious, Lexa smirked. ''But you do like me now, right ?''

Clarke headed for the kitchen where her plate was waiting for her. ''I'm doing this for the food, not for you.''

They barely talked, but they had dinner together. And Lexa called that a win.

* * *

Lexa had thought things would be better with Clarke since the blonde had accepted to eat with her. But no. It wasn't any better. Actually, it was worse. Clarke spent most of her time into the bedroom and got out only to use the bathroom or to get food. Lexa had tried to talk to her again but Clarke said she didn't need her help. Lexa told herself that Clarke's behaviour was probably due to her pregnancy. Did Clarke have postpartum depression ?

Clarke definitely didn't feel good. Her heart ached all the time and she was always pissed off. She had enjoyed her dinner with Lexa even if she couldn't tell her. She slept when Aden didn't need her and dreamt of being someone else. Someone who wouldn't be scared of spending time with Lexa Woods. Someone who craved for the brunette's touch. Someone who'd give anything to spend just one night at Lexa's apartment, having dinner with her, watch TV with her, sleep beside her... and then the nightmares came back. Clarke was drowning in the middle of the ocean and she could hear Titus' words all over again. She woke up breathless, and most of the time she couldn't keep herself from crying. In silence. In the dark. And then she looked at her son sleeping on her chest. He gave her the strength to keep going.

Lexa was just back from the mall. She had bought food and baby stuff. She thought Clarke might run out of diapers. She went inside her bedroom. The door was opened. Clarke wasn't here. But Aden was.

Lexa heard noise coming from the bathroom. She saw Clarke walk out of it and heading for the front door. The blonde had Lexa's clothes. And to Lexa Clarke looked way better in them than her. She let the diapers fall as she understood what Clarke was doing.

''Clarke !'' but Clarke had already left the apartment. Lexa ran out of it and called Clarke again.

They were both in the staircase. Clarke turned to look at Lexa's confused face.

She sighed. ''I'm not leaving for good. I'm just going out for a few hours. You can't keep me from going out !''

Lexa stared at Clarke confusingly before putting her mask back on. ''You know what happens if you don't come back.''

Clarke shrugged. She knew Lexa's threats. She wasn't going to put her son at risk. She'd figure out a way to make Lexa so mad at her the brunette would have no other choice but to kick her out.

* * *

Clarke had been in that bar for three hours now. She had decided to go out before turning crazy. Her body was making fun of her again and she hated it. She wanted to feel something good again. So she ignored her body signs and went out, trying to find someone to spend the night with.

And she did. She had a gorgeous girl to touch her and they were heading toward the washroom when Clarke had a better idea.

Half an hour of walking and flirting later they entered Lexa's apartment. Clarke pulled the girl toward the couch, both of them falling on it. Clothes were thrown away. They were in their underwear, making out on Lexa's couch. If Lexa wasn't pissed at her for it, Clarke didn't know what could possibly make the brunette mad.

Lexa woke up. She had fed Aden almost an hour ago, what did he want this time ? But this noise wasn't from Aden. Far from it. It came from the living room. Lexa breathed deeply before walking in.

''Clarke.'' she said loud enough for the guest to raise her head and look at her suspiciously.

She looked at both Lexa and Clarke, asking herself what was going on. Good thing she was too drunk to think clearly.

''We're kinda busy Lexa. Why don't you go back to bed ?'' Clarke said, her cheeky tone making Lexa's jaw clench.

''You could at least use the bedroom. Use the guest one. I'll go sleep in mine and watch over your son while you get laid.'' Lexa walked out.

Clarke still used the couch this night. But the next one, she used the guest room. It didn't matter which room she did it in, it always pissed Lexa off. Lexa tried to hide it but it was clear to Clarke.

So Clarke kept bringing people into Lexa's apartment every night. Making even more noise.

Four days. Clarke had started it four days ago. Lexa was tired of listening to Clarke faking it with strangers. She knew women's orgasms well enough to tell Clarke was faking her pleasure.

Aden started crying. He wasn't hungry, he had eaten twenty minutes ago. He was trying to sleep. But listening to his mother screaming didn't help him. Lexa walked out of her bedroom. It was enough.

She flung the guest room's door opened. ''You, out.'' she simply said to the man on top of Clarke. He listened to her because Lexa didn't seem to be kidding. And she was _Lexa Woods_. No one should mess with Lexa Woods. The man ran out, still happy about the fact that he had sex in Lexa Woods' apartment. But he won't tell. Because, in a few hours, he won't remember anything. Clarke always chose the drunk ones. Even high, sometimes. So drunk they didn't even ask for Clarke's name.

''We weren't done.'' Clarke said hoping to piss Lexa off even more.

''Are you planning on having another baby ?'' Lexa asked coldly, her eyebrows raised.

Clarke glared at her. ''Fuck you.'' is the only thing she could answer.

''I'm not the one who's being fucked every night.''

''What, you're jealous ?''

''Clearly not. I just want to sleep. And your son too if you haven't forgotten about him yet.''

 _As if I could_ , she thought. She was doing this for Aden. Her son was never going to get adopted if she stayed here. If she was his mother. Lexa had to adopt him.

''I'll go at their place next time then.''

''And do what ? Move from place to place everyday ? Never come back here ? What about Aden ?''

''You said it yourself, I'm no good for him. Keep him. I don't want him. I never wanted a kid.'' she lied again. _I'm sorry Aden_ , she apologized for the horrible words she had just said.

Lexa felt helpless again. She was supposed to go to work in a few hours and leaving her apartment knowing Clarke was probably going to leave again worried her. So she decided to be harsh again.

''But you do have a son, Clarke. You should've thought about the consequences before sleeping with so many strangers. Now you're going to take care of your baby and stop going out every night. I'll ask one of my bodyguards to watch the door from outside. I let you play a little but it's over now. You couldn't possibly win.''

Clarke was mad. So mad she'd run out of this damn apartment naked if her son wasn't threatened.

''Who do you think you are ? My mother ?''

She saw a tiny smile on Lexa's lips corner. ''She doesn't seem to be anywhere, so yes, I'm grounding you until you stop acting like a kid.''

Lexa went back to sleep. Clarke was alone in the room, naked under the sheets. What could she do to get Lexa to hate her ? She had tried everything. Insulting her, crashing her meetings, running away, messing up with her apartment, and Lexa still wanted her here.

* * *

Clarke spent the whole day with Aden. She felt bad for saying all those things about not wanting him because even if she hadn't planned having a baby at the age of twenty-one, she did love her son. She loved him so much she'd do anything for him. He needed a name, right ? And a safe home. That kid couldn't be Aden Griffin living in the streets with his slutty mother.

She heard the front door open. Lexa was back. She heard her trying to open the bedroom's door where Clarke was lying in bed with Aden but couldn't. Clarke had blocked it with Aden's heavy cradle.

''Seriously Clarke ? Again ?'' she heard from the other side of the door.

''You treat me like a kid I act like a kid.''

''Come on Clarke I want to ask you something.''

''You can do it from there. I don't give a shit anyway.''

She heard Lexa sigh. ''Would you come back to work ? We can get a nanny for Aden.''

Clarke laughed. ''We ? There is no we. And the only way I'm going back there is if you let me go.''

Silence. Clarke thought Lexa had left but she heard ''If you don't want to live with me, I can get you an apartment for you and Aden.''

 _She's kidding, right ? ''_ I don't want your money.'' Clarke bit her lip. If she came back to work, Lexa would want her to keep Aden. But Aden couldn't grow up with his biological mother in town. He could never find out about her. ''You know what Lexa ? I don't want to work for you anymore. Find yourself another translator.''

Lexa was glad Clarke couldn't see her right now because she was _hurt_. Only Clarke could hurt her like this. She tried so hard to help Clarke. _Why does she hate me so much ?_

Clarke hurt herself too. She didn't want to hate Lexa. She just wanted a normal life but it was taken away from her the day that plane had flown away from the american airport.

Lexa left her alone for a few hours. She didn't try to talk to her again. When the apartment went silent, Clarke slowly moved the cradle from the door and put it back where it used to be. She laid Aden in it and slipped out of the room.

She grabbed some food from the kitchen, not turning on any light. She felt so anxious and angry. She hated her body so much. She hated _herself_ so much ! She would never stop feeling this pain. Everytime she woke up, it was there. She needed to go out, swallow whatever drink some stranger would buy her, and forget who she was in someone else's arms. Even if the pain never really went away. Even if she was consumed by anxiety. Lexa still didn't want to adopt Aden. Clarke was starting to think it would be best to call social services herself. Lexa was right, they could find a nice couple for Aden. Babies were always adopted. She had to do it while Aden was still one.

She took the phone Lexa never used on the desk and grabbed one of Lexa's laptop on the table. That apartment was way too big for Lexa. But the girl was rich. She had everything she wanted.

Clarke rolled her eyes. She had nothing and Lexa had too much. How ironic. Two secs later and Clarke found the right number. She called. It was late but they had a line to use in case of emergency. A woman answered and Clarke simply said she had chosen adoption for her newborn baby. They talked for a few minutes and the woman said she would send someone tomorrow to see the baby and fill the papers.

 _Good_ , Clarke thought. She put the phone back where she found it and went to the front door, opening it slowly. She stared back, hoping Lexa hadn't heard anything. Apparently not. She set a foot outside. Her arm was grabbed and she was brought back inside before she could blink once.

''What the f – ?''

''I like my job so you're not going anywhere.'' the bodyguard said.

A bodyguard ? Even at night ? _Dammit._ And now Lexa was awake. One look at her bodyguard and she knew.

''Thank you, Pike.''

The man nodded and went back outside.

Clarke felt Lexa's glance on her. She already knew what the brunette was going to say.

''Have you forgotten any of my threats ?''

Clarke glared. ''I called social services.'' she stated, watching Lexa's stoic mask drop.

 _Surprise, bitch._

Lexa swallowed hard. ''You don't mind if I call the police on you then ?'' she reminded her other threat.

Clarke laughed coldly. ''Go ahead. Call them. I won't tell them anything and they'll have to let me go.''

Lexa wasn't going to let her go so easily. ''I can make them keep you. My word against yours. Who do you think they'll believe ? The clean CEO or the liar who probably also lied about her name ?''

 _Clean ? Huh ! Your company is dirtier than I was after giving birth._ Clarke tried so hard to keep herself from punching that Woods. ''Whatever, Lexa. I'll be better in jail than here with you.''

That hurt, but Lexa was never going to give in. It wasn't their first fight. ''Good luck getting through Pike.'' she simply said before getting back to bed.

Clarke kept herself from punching the wall. Instead she grabbed anything she could find and threw it on the floor, crushing it with her feet. She went on with the laptops, phones, tv, and headed to the kitchen where she broke each glass and plate she found. But Lexa didn't come.

It only made Aden cry. Clarke let him. She took three bottles of wine from Lexa's small wine cellar and sat on the floor against the couch. She opened one and drank.

She hated herself a bit more everyday. The weight of her pain was too heavy on her. But soon, her son would get adopted by a loving couple. And she wouldn't have to care about anything. She could let go.

She finished the first bottle in a matter of minutes. Her head started spinning. Aden stopped crying. She was going to give up on him once again. She stood up, feeling her blood boiling into her veins. She threw the empty bottle against the wall. The breaking glass only made her angrier. She needed _more_. She grabbed the other bottle, drank half of it and threw it. Wine spilled on the wall and floor.

 _Fuck you._ She wasn't even thinking of Lexa this time. She was thinking about life. _FUCK YOU !_ She grabbed the last bottle, challenged herself to drink it entirely and threw it once she won her own bet.

She could barely stand but she didn't care. She wasn't done. She would fall once she'd be done. She went into Lexa's room, where Aden was and grabbed every baby bottle to bring them into the living room and throw them against the wall. She had to find other things to break. She needed to see broken things. So she wouldn't be the only broken thing in this apartment.

She went back into the kitchen to grab as many bottles of wine she could carry.

She walked back to the living room, let herself fall on the couch. She didn't even bother to open the bottles, she just threw them one after one. Until her arm was grabbed.

''Enough.'' Lexa's harsh voice ordered.

Clarke let go of the bottle she was holding. It fell on the floor but didn't break.

Lexa had thought Clarke's anger would go away after a few minutes but she had kept breaking things. She sat beside Clarke on the couch. Clarke tried to stand up but fell back. She was too drunk to stand.

Lexa could smell wine all over Clarke. ''You're not going to tell me what's wrong with you, aren't you.''

Clarke was staring at the wall. Her glance seemed empty. ''I hate you, that's what.'' she replied. ''You're not happy when you're being held by someone you hate.''

Lexa didn't believe that was actually it. Clarke wouldn't be in all this trouble if she only hated her.

Lexa lowered her head a bit to whisper in Clarke's ear. ''Really, Clarke ? All of this is because you hate me ?''

Clarke shivered. She could feel Lexa's warmth. She _wanted_ Lexa's warm body against hers. ''Let me go and I'll forgive you.''

Lexa let out a laugh. ''Forgive me by never seeing me again ? And what would you forgive me for, by the way ?''

Clarke's hands were shaking. She needed to go out. She needed more alcohol. She needed someone to make her forget. She needed to stop feeling this pain crushing her heart. She tried to stand up.

''I have to go out. Just for a few hours. I have to,'' she was breathless ''I need to get out of here.''

''No.'' Lexa simply answered. ''You need to rest.''

Clarke fell back on the couch again, but this time Lexa's hand was holding her arm. Clarke stared at Lexa. Lexa was keeping her prisoner. Owning her. Exactly like Finn did.

 _Shit_. Was Clarke just a toy people played with ? _Shit_. But she wouldn't mind being Lexa's toy right now. Lexa was attractive and Clarke needed someone. The blonde leaned, grabbing Lexa's neck with her left hand to bring the girl's lips to hers.

Lexa felt Clarke's tongue on her upper lip. Clarke tasted wine. Lexa craved for Clarke's lips. But not like this. Clarke would only kiss her when she felt terrible.

She pushed her away. ''We're not doing this.'' But Clarke tried again. Lexa always pushed her away but Clarke didn't want to stop.

Clarke even took her own shirt off and was getting rid of her pants when Lexa grabbed her and blocked her on the couch. ''You're drunk and angry, Clarke.''

''Don't you see ?'' Clarke spit. ''It's always the same thing between us. We fight. You try to change my mind, I don't listen. I tell you to go fuck yourself and you clearly don't listen either.''

Lexa shook her head. She didn't answer, so Clarke spoke again.

''Why don't you want to have sex with me ? Not sexy enough ? Too poor ? Or is it because of Aden. You weren't into pregnant women and now you're not into young mothers either ?''

''Stop it, Clarke. You're gorgeous. And smart. You're amazing. If only you stopped acting like this, you...''

She didn't have time to finish, Clarke pushed her hard. Taken by surprise, she fell down. Clarke ran toward the door. Her pants had fallen down and she had left them in the living room. She opened the door and got out.

 _What the – ?_ Lexa followed her and her face turned pale when she saw Clarke kissing her bodyguard with her legs surrounding his waist. He was trying to get rid of her boss' friend, not willing to lose his job, but Clarke was holding tight like a leech.

Lexa helped him and together they manage to take Clarke off of him but the blonde only pushed them to run down the staircase.

''Dammit !'' Lexa yelled, following.

Clarke didn't see much. Her head was spinning too much for her to see anything and she just let her legs do their thing.

There it was, the building's door. She pushed it hard and felt the cold wind striking her. But no, she wasn't falling. Not now. She started running away from the building but a hand soon grabbed her wrist and arms surrounded her.

''Stop running away Clarke !''

Clarke tried to push Lexa away again but she was still in her arms and they both fell. Clarke was on Lexa. She turned to face her. She was so cold, outside in this outfit, and there was Lexa and her warm body. Clarke's blood may be boiling but Clarke was freezing. And she was even more hurt since Lexa had pushed her away. _She wants me to stop pushing her away but she keeps doing the same thing with me._

She looked down at Lexa's lips and aimed for them again. She was too drunk to think clearly. She just wanted Lexa, the only one she couldn't have. ''One night and you give me my freedom back.'' she even heard herself whispering.

Lexa sat, not believing Clarke was still trying. She grabbed Clarke's wrists and held them together. ''I'm not letting you die out there, Clarke !''

She tried shaking Clarke up but Clarke's eyes were empty, staring at nothing. ''I want to.'' Clarke finally said. And she seemed so honest Lexa's heart broke.

The first lie Clarke hadn't said in months. ''Why, Clarke...''

Clarke curled her lip. She wasn't thinking. She couldn't. She didn't even know what was happening and she probably won't remember anything. ''He's safe, I can die.''

 _He ?_ Lexa asked herself. _Aden_. Clarke only wanted her son to be safe, she didn't even care about herself. ''You're safe too, Clarke. You can stay with me. Have your job back. Watch your son grow up !'' She had to put a hand on Clarke's cheek because the blonde's head was dropping.

''He can't be no one's son.'' she whispered.

''What ?'' Clarke didn't answer. ''Clarke, you're both safe here.''

Clarke slowly pushed her. She was too weak to get herself out of Lexa's grip. ''Not safe.'' she leaned forward, staring at Lexa's lips again. They were the only thing she wanted right now. She wanted to kiss her for hours. And then, she'd die. And the pain would be gone for good.

Lexa felt Clarke's lips brushing hers and she pushed her head back. ''Just come back inside Clarke. You're safe there. I'll stay with you if you want. But come back inside with me.''

''I hate you.'' Clarke whispered before laying her head on Lexa's shoulder. ''You're just using me just like you used them.''

 _What ?_ Lexa didn't understand anything Clarke said. She thought it was the alcohol until Clarke added ''You'll just put me on a plane just like them.''

Lexa's eyes widened as she realized what Clarke meant. ''You're...''

But Clarke had fallen asleep on her. Lexa brought her back to her apartment and put her to bed.

She thanked Pike for watching over Aden and told him to go home. She looked at the mess in her living room. Everything was broken. And now she knew why Clarke was too.

* * *

 **Drunk Clarke has done a few bad things, but spilling this secret out may not be one.**

 **What do you think ? For how long do you think they'll keep fighting before Clarke realizes she can be safe with Lexa ? Can she really be safe ?**

 **Hang on, even Lexa has her own little secrets even though her situation is nothing compared to Clarke's.**

 **Thanks to the ones who reviewed ! See you on saturday ! :)**

 **(For those who don't know, the song I referred to is _Ne me quitte pas_ by Jacques Brel.)**


	13. Chapter 13

**Hi guys !**

 **I've decided to post this chapter today instead of tomorrow because I will be posting chapter 14 on sunday. There's a good reason for it : chap 13 and chap 14 are both very harsh, they are a turning point in the story, that's why I want to post them faster than the other chapters.**

 **Now let's get through this hard part !**

* * *

Clarke was throwing up for the third time. She was sitting on the bathroom's floor which was cold. She was only wearing her underwear and didn't even remember how she ended up like this. It took her a while to stand up and get out of there. She went into the living room. Her head and stomach ached.

The living room was a terrible mess. Lexa was cleaning. What had happened ?

''Huh.'' Clarke started to make herself noticed. ''Did I... ?'' she pointed herself to show how she was dressed.

''No, Clarke, you didn't sleep with anyone.''

Clarke looked at Lexa suspiciously. Lexa's tone wasn't cold. Not super nice either but there was something different. ''And, huh...'' she pointed at the messy room.

''Yes, you did that.''

Clarke was surprised. She didn't remember anything. But she wasn't going to apologize for it. Lexa had to hate her, right ? This last one stood up and stared at Clarke. ''I'm not going to denounce you.'' she declared.

Clarke's eyes went from left to right twice before she asked ''What are you talking about ?''

''You don't need to lie anymore. You told me last night. You drank too much.''

Clarke froze. What the fuck did she tell her ? She hoped it wasn't _it_ , because otherwise she was done. ''Huh, what did I tell you ? 'cause I say a lot of bullshit when I'm drunk.''

Lexa sighed and slipped a hand into her _amazing_ hair. ''You're an illegal immigrant, Clarke. I know.''

Clarke froze for good. She couldn't even move when Lexa approached her, standing one foot away from her. ''You have nothing to fear from me. I won't tell anyone.''

She turned around and headed to the kitchen to get another sponge. ''I just wish you had told me sooner.'' she added, her voice broken by Clarke's lack of trust.

But on the other hand, she did understand Clarke's fear. She was a Woods. Her company had sent hundreds of illegal immigrants away, even causing deaths when one of the planes crashed a few years ago. Lexa knew it too well. Pain crushed her since that day.

She wished Clarke was going to stay now her secret was out. She had just told her her secret was safe, why would the blonde run away ? Clarke was complicated. Lexa doubted this secret was the girl's only one.

When she got back from the kitchen, she found Clarke behind the couch, leaning against it. Clarke had vomitted again. Her head was heavy, spinning, and she was freezing on the spot.

''Clarke ?'' Lexa called, kneeling in front of her.

Clarke's head dropped. She was about to fall down, totally lying on the floor, but Lexa caught her and helped her up to get her to bed. Clarke was almost asleep when Aden started crying. She wriggled but Lexa stopped her from getting up.

''Lie down, Clarke. I'll take care of him.''

Clarke fell back down on the bed. Lexa was about to leave the room when she grabbed her wrist. Lexa turned toward her and stared at her with curiosity.

''I need my job back.''

Lexa didn't react at first. Clarke was ill and yet she was still willing to work.

''When you're better.'' she finally nodded.

''I can't rely on you.'' Clarke whispered, making Lexa raise a brow.

''Why ?'' the brunette asked. But Clarke had fallen asleep.

Lexa had a certain visit later that day. Some people who wanted to see Clarke's son. She was quick to send them away. She was Lexa Woods. No one messed with her. Except Clarke. The blonde was the only one who could turn Lexa's life upside down, make her scream inside impossible words. Lexa remembered the feeling of Clarke's lips on hers. Clarke made her whole world shine. But then Clarke's angst came back and there was nothing else but pain between them. Lexa didn't know what to do to change that. Clarke kept telling her how much she hated her. At this point it was hard not to believe her. Clarke had lied so much it was difficult to know when the girl said the truth. But last night, she did. Lexa understood Clarke's despair. She wanted to help her through this. Hopefully, Clarke would stay.

* * *

Clarke had gotten through her bad cold thanks to Jackson. She had spent four awful days. Well, worse than the usual ones anyway. She got back to work, but not the same one. Lexa had promoted her. Clarke had her own tiny office four floors above the one she used to work at.

 _Not so bad_ , she thought when she discovered the little room with a desk and a computer. Her job was to translate files and each interesting news she could find about the French economy. Contrary to what she had thought when she accepted the offer, it was a lot of work. She rose. She needed to walk a bit. She took a few steps around the room, enjoying her loneliness, and noticed the mirror on the door's wall. Her own face disgusted her. She had stolen Lexa's makeup this morning to cover her wasted face. The makeup made her more attractive but Clarke was far from forgiving herself.

Two knocks and the door opened. A dark-blonde-haired woman appeared. She had beautiful green eyes. A color Clarke liked.

''Hi, I'm Lucy. I'm this floor's assistant. I basically go around to deliver files, help you get what you need and bring files to other services once they've been treated.''

Lucy had a confident smile.

''I'm Clarke. I translate stuff. Got anything for me ?'' she said on a cheeky tone. Flirting was her way to forget about how terrible a person she was.

Lucy smiled and walked toward Clarke's desk to tap on the computer's keyboard. Clarke discretely closed the door and joined the assistant.

''There you go.'' Lucy turned toward Clarke. ''Your passwords are in. I wrote them down so you don't have to remember them. Hey, by the way, you're not new, right ? I don't really remember seeing you here but you don't look like a newbie.''

Clarke smiled awkwardly. That girl was really cute. She reminded Clarke of someone.

''No, I'm not new. And you ? For how long have you been here ?''

''If you wanna know more about me, maybe you should get me a coffee sometimes.''

Clarke raised her eyebrows. She didn't even had to make a move, Lucy did first.

''Well, Lucy, I'm available all day and night. How about now ?''

Lucy smiled back. _That smile._ If Lucy's skin was a bit darker, same for her hair, Clarke could swear Lexa was in front of her.

''I can't right now. But I'll come by this afternoon, if you don't have anything else to do.''

 _Hell no._ Actually, she had a meeting now, but it wasn't an important one, so it didn't matter if she skipped it. Lexa would get mad at her for a few minutes and then would forgive her because she wasn't willing to let her go.

Clarke walked around her floor for a while. She needed to walk but she felt too lazy to go outside. So many floors down... definitely too lazy. She met her new colleagues who didn't seem to care much about her until a guy stopped to talk to her.

''Hey, what'ya name ?''

He seemed dumb but he wasn't. Clarke noticed it when he offered her a deal. He whispered ''Look, you're sexy, I like sexy girls, and I'm pretty sure you like money so, you're in ?''

Clarke glared at him. ''You clearly don't understand girls.'' and she walked away, leaving the man frustrated in the middle of the corridor.

She went back to her office only to find a certain green-eyed girl. But not the smiling one.

''Missing your first meeting on your first day since you got back, congrats.''

Clarke didn't even sigh at this comment. She expected this reaction from Lexa.

''I was busy.'' She didn't bother to find a proper excuse. Lexa was mad either way.

''Your lies get worse every day. Is mythomania a French thing ?''

 _Don't._ Clarke tried not to show her anger at that comment. _Shit_. She walked to Lexa, grabbed her arms and pulled her to the door.

''Get out of my office.''

Lexa stopped Clarke before the blonde could open the door.

''This is actually my office. This whole building belongs to me, remember ?''

''I don't give a shit. You come here to insult me, you get out !''

Lexa was staring deeply into Clarke's eyes, willing to win this fight.

''Maybe if you used this office to work,'' she said, ''I'd consider it yours.''

Clarke felt angrier every time Lexa talked to her like this. And now the CEO knew her secret, it was worse.

''I swear Lexa, you make one more comment about my nationalities and I'll break that cute nose of yours.''

But Lexa didn't scare so easily. ''Nationalities ? So there's more than one ? What other language do you speak ? Tell me it's russian, we could use a russian translator.''

 _That's enough_ , Clarke told herself while grabbing Lexa by her classy shirt and pushing her roughly against the wall.

''You think that's funny ?'' she asked, letting out her aussie accent. ''You bloody spoiled american girl will never understand what it's like to be an outsider !''

 _Her accent is so freaking cute._ Lexa couldn't be mad at Clarke right now.

''I travelled enough to tell you're Australian. Nice mash up. Frenchaussie. Tell me Clarke. When you called social services on your son, did you realize what legacy he would lose ?''

Clarke wanted to punch her so bad ! But at the same time, she wanted to kiss her. Lexa's eyes were mesmerizing. How could she get so crazy about the one girl she hated the most ? Probably because she didn't hate other people for the simple reason that she didn't care about them.

She let go of Lexa, leaving her own office. Her son had nothing to lose. Because Clarke was no one and she had nothing.

''Clarke, we're not done !''

But Clarke didn't listen. She just went to Lexa's apartment to look after her son. The nanny, Lexa's old one, was surprised by Clarke's early coming back, but she had a life of her own so she left.

Clarke lied on the bed with her son beside her. She was tickling his belly. He smiled and it made Clarke feel better for now.

''I love you, Aden. Remember that. You're my little man.''

He didn't understand his mother's words, but he felt her love for him. He was two months old. Clarke was freaking out everytime he grew a bit more. Two months and her son still didn't have an identity. Lexa had stopped her from giving her son to social services and she didn't want to adopt him either. She was forcing Clarke to be a mother. But Clarke couldn't be ! Why Lexa couldn't understand the simple fact that Aden was in danger in Clarke's care ?

She kissed him on his little cheek.

''I'll find a way out of this. I promise.''

* * *

Lexa hadn't said anything else about their fight in Clarke's office. She let the blonde go back to work the next day and the day after without pushing her. She realized mocking her wasn't the way to make her open up but Clarke wasn't easy at all and she couldn't keep herself from fighting back.

Lexa heard someone coming into her office. Another new office worker. A young woman. Kinda attractive.

''Hello, Miss Woods. I'm Emma. I was asked to bring you this file. I just arrived and don't really know how things work. Sinclair simply told me to get this thing up here.'' She laughed and Lexa stood up to grab the file, hiding her amusement.

She was used to awkward meetings with girls. They knew who she was after all.

''Thank you. I hope you'll fit in fast.''

Lexa sat back into her desk chair. Usually, people left after she thanked them. But the girl didn't.

''Do you need anything ?''

The girl blushed and Lexa understood what she wanted.

''Actually... I'm... I just... well, I've heard some stuff here and...''

''What kind of stuff ?'' Lexa asked, already knowing what this conversation was about. But she liked messing around with people. She didn't smile. At all. The girl was probably thinking about her early death. They always did when Lexa did that.

''Well...'' the girl was hesitating, and Lexa's glance on her made her give up. ''You know what ? It's nothing. I... I have to go back to work.''

Lexa rose again and approached her. The girl was frozen on spot and couldn't take her eyes off of Lexa's. She thought she was about to get fired but forgot it all when she felt Lexa's lips on hers.

''You heard well.'' Lexa whispered, slowly pushing her until they were both onto the red sofa.

It was so easy. That girl was amazed and crawling into Lexa's embrace. That girl was Lexa's. But it couldn't last forever. Lexa didn't do relationships. And if she could have any girl, she couldn't have the girl she actually had feelings for.

* * *

Clarke had kept her mind busy with work for hours. But now her mind was filled with french and her heart was having a hard time accepting it. So, when she heard two knocks on the door and discovered the gorgeous assistant she had only met once, she was glad to get an excuse for taking a break.

''Hey, Clarke. I hope I'm not disturbing.''

''Not at all ! Do you need anything ?''

''That's usually my question. I just wanted to offer you this coffee we talked about the other day. If you don't mind, obviously.''

Clarke stood up. She didn't mind at all, and she was about to leave her office when the cell phone Lexa had given her rang. She answered and turned pale.

''Huh, look. I have to go. Do you mind if we do this later ?''

The assistant smiled and nodded gently.

''Not at all. See you later, Clarke. I hope everything's okay.''

Clarke walked out and ran to the elevator, hoping to get to Lexa's office as soon as possible. She did a few minutes later and ignored Lexa's assistant's warnings to enter the office.

''Lexa ! There's somethi –''

She stopped. Lexa was topless on the ugly cardinal red sofa, making a girl moan.

Lexa only had time to see Clarke's hurt expression before the blonde left the office.

 _What the fuck just happened ?_

* * *

Clarke ran to Lexa's apartment. She was breathless. She could've used her car but she had never got it back. If she did, the police would find her and ask her questions about what she was doing in the middle of the road, blocking the avenue with her car.

She entered the apartment. The nanny was in the living room with Aden. Her son couldn't breathe properly. His lips were turning purple and his cheeks were reddening below a veil of tears. She took him from the woman who had warned her because Lexa hadn't answered her phone.

''I'm taking him to the doctor.''

She really hoped Jackson was available right now. She couldn't run with her baby in her arms so she walked as fast as she could. She didn't have any money on her to take a cab. Her heart was beating so fast she thought she was going to collapse, but she couldn't right now. Aden needed her.

She knocked on Jackson's office door several times, but no one answered. _Shit. Right. It's friday. He doesn't work on friday._ Aden's breath was still unsteady. He could breathe a bit for a couple of minutes before getting into another attack.

''Oh, honey, what's happening to you...''

Actually, Clarke had an idea. She didn't know much about baby diseases but this was obvious. She sat on the pavement, cuddling Aden as she wished Jackson showed up. But he didn't. And Aden was struggling. He was having more and more trouble breathing.

Fresh air didn't help him. Clarke was panicking. Her son was suffering. _He's gonna die. He's gonna die !_ She was shaking, same as her son, but not for the same reason. She pulled her phone out of her pocket. There was only Lexa's number as the brunette had given it to her in case of emergency.

''Lexa ? Please come, it's Aden...''

Lexa was alerted by Clarke's cries and came as soon as she could. She drove them to the hospital and took care of everything.

Aden was still with the doctor when Clarke stood up, not handling any of it anymore. She was walking around while Lexa was sitting.

''Clarke, sit down, they'll come to fetch us as soon as Aden's condition is cleared.''

''Cleared ? What if he's dead right now and I don't know it ?''

Lexa rose and tried to grab Clarke's hand to calm the blonde down but Clarke stepped back.

''Don't. I've seen where this hand has been.''

Lexa rolled her eyes. ''Really, Clarke ? You're blaming me for something you've been doing with strangers in my own apartment ?''

''I NEEDED YOU ! I had to ask you one thing. One thing, Lexa ! And there you were, keeping yourself busy after everything you've blamed me for.''

''If you'd asked I would've helped you. I would've run with you to my apartment straight away and Aden would've been at the ER long before you even thought of calling me.''

Clarke stiffened, swallowing hard on Lexa's words. ''You're saying it's my fault. You, the great and unmistaken Lexa Woods, are saying Aden's condition is on me.''

Clarke's entire body ached because she knew it was true. She hadn't treated her son well. And Lexa, who couldn't believe Clarke was blaming her after everything she had tried to do for her, only proved it to her by saying ''You lived in a car all through your pregnancy, giving birth at the back of it. You let your son homeless for like a month ! How can he not be sick ? His first weeks, he spent them out there because of you. And what did you do once you two were finally safe and warm inside my apartment ? YOU WENT OUT TO SCREW THE WHOLE TOWN ! You know why I came to stop you the time you broke half of my apartment ? Because I thought the next thing you were going to throw on that wall was your own son.''

Lexa didn't think Clarke would break that easily. Clarke never fully did. Not at her words. She usually kept throwing her anger at her. But not this time. Clarke's lower lip was trembling. She had started crying half way through Lexa's speech and she was about to collapse. Let go of all that pain.

She used her low broken voice to say ''You don't want him. Then we'll go. I'll get a real apartment. You won't have to be so disgusted every time you see my face.''

Thankfully for Clarke, the doctor in charge of Aden arrived. He was fine, but when they arrived into his room, the baby had a huge mask on his face to help him breathe. Clarke approached and burst out in cries, holding his tiny cold hand.

''I'm so sorry Aden. I'm so so sorry.''

She didn't feel anybody else's presence behind her. Lexa had never come into that room.

The brunette got home, more ashamed than ever. She had crossed the line. She knew Clarke's situation was far from easy and she had crushed her instead of comforting her. How could she get her back now she had screwed up so badly ?

* * *

 **Clarke skipping her first meeting on her first day unleashed Lexa's anger which ended up tearing Clarke apart. What Lexa said at the hospital was the truth, Clarke knew it, and that's why it hurt so much.**

 **So, now, how will Lexa get her back ? She had her in her apartment, she has her at work, but right now their relationship is having a hard time building itself.**

 **Next chapter will be tough.**


	14. Chapter 14

Lexa had given Clarke space. Clarke and Aden had never come back to her apartment and Lexa could only blame herself for this. Clarke came to work these last few days and Lexa wanted to apologize but she didn't know how the blonde would react if she entered Clarke's office.

She hoped Clarke had really found an apartment and wasn't homeless again. She didn't call the police when they left because it was her fault if Clarke had decided to leave. Furthermore, she couldn't denounce Clarke now she knew the blonde's secret. She couldn't take the risk of seeing Clarke being sent back to one of the countries she seemed to be from. Clarke never really talked about them.

Lexa was trying to find a way of getting Clarke back to safety because she doubted Clarke was safe out there on her own with a young baby. But after what she had said, Lexa didn't know if she could earn Clarke's forgiveness.

* * *

Clarke was working hard, trying to get all of her work done fast enough to go home sooner than usual. She had hired a sitter for Aden. The sitter didn't ask any question as long as Clarke paid her. But needing a sitter five days a week was soon going to become expensive. Especially when there were so many other things Clarke needed to pay for.

She was able to rent a room in a crappy building. One room and one bathroom. It wasn't a great home for a kid but it was still better than a car. Clarke didn't regret renting this room even though it costed her more than just money.

She was offered a deal. She could rent a room without giving any ID if she did something for the tennant. Things, actually, Clarke was not proud of. But she couldn't let Aden leave in the streets. He was sick, and his meds costed Clarke a lot of money, and for this reason Clarke worked even harder.

Jackson had accepted to get Clarke Aden's meds but Clarke still had to pay for them. Jackson had hesitated calling Lexa to tell her about Clarke's struggle but both women seemed to be in conflict with each other. He knew Clarke well enough to tell she wouldn't want Lexa to pay for Aden's meds because it would mean accepting Lexa's help.

Clarke was truly hurt by Lexa's words. Somehow, it reminded her of her mother. Clarke didn't want to be a doctor. If she did, maybe Abigail Griffin would've paid for a student visa here, but yet again, how could Clarke enroll in any school without any ID ? When she was little, her father wanted Clarke to get both the australian citizenship and the french one. So she'd be free to go wherever she wanted to. But Abby Griffin had refused. They would never settle in France anyway, what's the use ? They travelled a lot. And Clarke never even got her australian ID. She had visas and special permissions to stay with her parents in whatever country they stayed in.

Now what ? Even if she said she had been living in the USA for ten years, no one would believe her because she had no proof. Right now, she only had a son who needed someone.

And for now, that someone was her.

''Hey !''

Clarke looked at the woman who had just entered her office and was glad to find out it wasn't Lexa. It was someone who had Lexa's eyes but wasn't her. Happy, bright eyes. _Perfect._

''Hi !'' Clarke answered, smiling.

''I thought maybe we could get our coffee.''

''Sure.''

Clarke followed the dark-blonde-haired woman and they went to buy a coffee on Floor 1. On this floor, you could buy any food or drink you wanted.

''So, how are you doing ?'' Lucy asked.

Clarke smiled at this really simple question. ''Good. I'm almost done with today's work.''

''Oh, so what will you do once you're done ?''

''Go home, I suppose.''

Lucy threw her empty cup in the trash they had just walked beside and stopped.

''Would you help me on something later ? I have this thing to do but I can't do it alone.''

''Huh, okay. Where do I find you ?''

''Just ask for me. See you later ?''

Clarke nodded and Lucy got back to work. She did too. She finished her work as fast as possible and asked whatever dude was passing by the corridor to call for Lucy. The young woman came about fifteen minutes later.

She entered Clarke's office, closing the door behind her.

''So'', Clarke said, ''what do you need me for ?''

Before she could think of it, Lucy sat on her lap and kissed her. Lucy didn't let go and Clarke decided not to push her away. Kissing Lucy felt nice. No more. But Clarke didn't feel like she had to do it for a change. And that felt good.

Lucy used her free arm to get the desk off of the dozen of files lying on it, sat on the desk and pulled Clarke toward her. ''Take my clothes off.'' Lucy asked. Clarke obeyed, leaning onto her. ''Grab my wrists.'' Lucy asked again. Clarke did. Lucy let Clarke controlling this. And again, Clarke felt good about it.

Lucy was topless under Clarke's still dressed body. Clarke was holding her wrists against the desk just like Lucy had asked. She was kissing the woman's neck, enjoying its perfume.

She couldn't think of anything else. There was just the warm body under her own. There was just Lucy's soft skin. She felt Lucy shiver. Lucy probably enjoyed it too. One more reason to forget about everything else.

But it didn't last long because the door opened. ''Why did you ask for me, Lucy ?'' Lexa's neutral tone asked before the brunette froze. Lucy was shaking under Clarke, tears coming down her cheeks. Clarke was holding her wrists. Until Clarke heard Lexa's voice and suddenly got off of Lucy. ''Can't you knock ?'' Clarke asked coldly.

Lexa ignored her to get to the woman still lying on Clarke's desk. ''Lucy ?''

Lucy stirred and noticed Lexa's presence. She let Lexa help her up and fell into the brunette's embrace. ''I'm sorry Lexa. She... and I couldn't...''

''It's okay, Lucy, it's not your fault. Go home, James will drive you.''

 _What the hell ?!_ Clarke asked herself. She watched as Lucy nodded and let Lexa put her bra and shirt back. That's when Clarke noticed the women's body had a similar shape. And their eyes were definitely the same. _This green_.

''It's not because you're mad at me that you can hurt my family.'' Lexa harshly said once Lucy was gone.

 _What ?!_ ''Your sister.''

''I only found out last year she was my mother's daughter from another man which makes her my sister. Are you happy, Clarke ? About what you just did ?''

''I didn't do anything ! She kissed me !'' Clarke tried to defend herself, still confused about what had just happened. Did Lucy trick her ?

Lexa didn't seem to believe her. She was murdering Clarke with her stare. ''She didn't seem to enjoy it. And Lucy is straight. Are you going to tell me that all of a sudden she felt like being held on a desk by a girl ?''

Clarke's heart was beating so fast at the fact she had been set up. What could she say ? She'd walk away from this office but she really needed the job. For Aden. ''I... I didn't force her to do it.''

''You're never gonna stop lying, aren't you Clarke ? How am I supposed to believe you when you tried the same thing on me more than once ?''

''I'M NOT A RAPIST !'' Clarke desperately shouted.

''You can't help yourself. You have to sleep with everyone.'' Lexa paused for a moment before adding ''I know you need that job to take care of Aden, that's why I won't fire you. But you're going back to your previous office as you can't have a room of your own without using it as a pimp house.''

Clarke didn't know what to say. Lexa left. _WHAT THE FUCK ?!_ She left her office. She couldn't see that room anymore. She randomly walked, her mind processing all that happened. A hand on her shoulder stopped her.

''Hey, beauty.''

That guy. Again. ''I don't have time for this.'' Clarke said, but he stopped her again when she tried to walk away.

''You know, I'd pay you right.''

Clarke froze. Was he seriously offering her this deal again ? _Gross !_ But she did consider it. Aden's little face appeared in her mind and she didn't even think twice before answering ''Okay.''

He asked her to follow him until a storage room located in a quiet corridor. She reluctantly entered the room and let him do what he wanted.

Lexa was right. She was a whore. A desperate woman.

* * *

Having Aden by her side comforted her. It would break her heart when another asthma attack tortured him but when he smiled, it was the best thing she ever had. Her son's smile. He was so young. How could a baby that young could already be asthmatic ?

She already knew the answer. He was born in a car where he had lived for about a month.

''You're gonna be okay honey.'' she said once more.

She repeated the same thing everyday, more to reassure herself than him.

She watched him for a long while. Until she heard a sound she particularly hated. The squeaky cry of the remote her tennant had given her after they settled their deal.

She kissed her son on his forehead and put him into his baby seat. That's all she could buy for him. At least for now. But even if she could afford a craddle, there wasn't enough room in here.

''I'll be right back.'' she said before leaving her room.

She had given Aden his medication earlier so he should be fine. She hoped he wouldn't cry while she was gone.

She entered her tennant's desk. He had a room in here too. He handled the whole building.

''What do you want today ?'' Clarke asked.

''Get down.'' he answered.

Clarke came back to her room disgusted and brushed her teeth no less than four times. Aden was sleeping. _The fuck am I doing._ It was this way since she arrived here and she always asked herself the same question after visiting her tennant. She was exhausted of all the things she had to do. She only hated herself more and what happened with Lucy didn't help her feel better.

Lexa hated her. She had looked so disgusted, grossed out by Clarke when she had seen her standing behind the desk Clarke had been making out with Lucy on. Clarke still had her job. Only because Lexa pitied her. And she was so tired of being hated by Lexa. So exhausted of fighting against the brunette. She had reminded herself so many times that she couldn't possibly like Lexa Woods. But she couldn't take being hated by this woman either.

* * *

She was back at her previous office. Raven had been promoted not long ago so Clarke was alone. There were so many new people here. This company kept changing. Clarke kept falling.

She left her office at 1pm for lunch as planned. She had one hour before she'd have to go back to her desk. She didn't have any meeting to attend because she was suspended as a translator for now.

''Hi sweetie.''

She didn't answer. She just entered the same storage room they used the first time. His name was Zeke, not that Clarke cared. She just needed money. Aden needed food, diapers, clothes, meds, his sitter. This roof over his little head. So much Clarke could barely handle on her own.

* * *

There she was again. In Lexa's office. In front of the tired brunette. Lexa was tired of Clarke. The blonde could tell because Lexa hadn't said anything yet.

Lexa sighed. ''What you're doing is illegal.''

Clarke couldn't even look at Lexa right now. She could feel the disgust from Lexa's eyes and that tore her appart. She had been found in the storage room almost ten minutes ago. Zeke was told to go back to work. He apparently had an important job here. They would deal with him later but Clarke already knew he was not going to lose his job. Zeke had told his supervisor Clarke had offered him her body against money and they believed him because of Clarke's reputation here.

''I don't know what to do with you Clarke.''

 _Then don't do anything._ Clarke was about to cry. She couldn't cry in front of Lexa again. She wouldn't give the brunette that kind of satisfation.

''Say something, Clarke.''

Lexa was clearly mad and keeping herself from shouting at Clarke. The blonde couldn't even look at her, what could she possibly say ? She had been found having sex with a man in exchange for money which was taken from her by the men who brought her up to Lexa's office. _HOW WILL I FUCKING BUY ADEN'S MEDS ?!_ She was getting crazy. Lexa's stare was driving her crazy. From all the people who could have learnt about what she was doing, Lexa was the least Clarke had wanted.

Clarke could be judged by anyone else and not care. But Lexa ? She couldn't. Her chest was hurting at the only thought of being seen by Lexa.

''I quit.'' Clarke said before walking out of the office as fast as she could.

Again. She did it again. But this time she didn't think Lexa was going to come after her because Lexa hated her. Clarke was a disgusting whore and awful mother. The things she had to do for her son to survive haunted her, but she couldn't let go of Aden.

She thought of calling child services again but they would see Clarke's room and ask for an ID. Clarke was so poor they'd try to help her too and this way they'd find out about her status.

* * *

 _No. Not again._ Again. Lexa only seemed to know that word. She was so mad at Clarke she had let her go. Clarke made so many bad decisions Lexa had every right to hate her.

Clarke had assaulted her sister. Lucy was traumatized. But what if this decision wasn't totally Clarke's fault ? Clarke was so desperate she always made mistakes. And this time, Clarke's mistakes may be Lexa's fault. After what she had said to Clarke, she could understand Clarke had lost her mind.

 _I can't let her go._ She was never going to give up on Clarke. How could she after all that happened ? She could never stop thinking about this blonde girl. Above all the mistakes she made, Clarke was strong. Lexa admired her for that. Clarke had gone through so much, more than Lexa could imagine, and yet she was still holding on.

Lexa had to make things right. Lexa swore to herself that the next time she'd see Clarke she wouldn't let go of her. She wouldn't force Clarke to stay with her. She'd give Clarke the choice. After telling her things she had never said before.

* * *

Clarke spent two days walking around town in order to get a job. Whether she got a no or a cold ''come back later with your ID and résumé''. Clarke had spent two days without earning any money. Two days lost. But eventually she did find a job. Not the way she wanted to, but she was desperate, so she did it again. She took a deal. She was young and, even though she looked exhausted, sexy.

By tomorrow morning, she'll be working full time at a fast food. She'll get paid less than usual employees and will have to let her boss play with her once in a while, but that's all she could get. Clarke emptied her mind. _I'll do whatever needs to be done. For Aden._

She went home, paid the sitter and held her son. ''How are you doing buddy ? Did you have a nice day ?'' Obviously, he wasn't going to answer, but he was the only one she could talk too. ''Did I tell you how much I love you ? Because I want you to know that and never forget it, okay ?''

He moved his hands and feet, dancing as he could at his age. Clarke smiled. He was so cute. He was her son.

* * *

Raven entered her boss' office, a bit anxious about the reason why the CEO had asked her up.

''Miss Woods ?'' she asked, trying to keep her voice steady.

''Come and sit down, Reyes. Don't worry, this is not about you. It's about Clarke.''

''Oh. I haven't seen her in a while. We don't work together anymore and she's not the hanging out type so...''

''She quit.'' Lexa went on before Raven could comment. ''She told me she had found an apartment for her and her son. I don't know if it's true but I checked the list of the less expensive buildings in town. There's a lot. And obviously there's no trace of Clarke. You seem to know many people in town. Do you think you can find her ?''

''Me ? Are you asking me this because you think I know all of this town's poor people ?''

''No, not at all. Look, I don't go out much. This is a fact. I'm asking you because you're the only friend of Clarke I know of and, last time, you were willing to help me. So ?''

Raven sighed. ''With all due respect, I think you should find her yourself. You and Clarke have been walking around each other for a year. I don't know you, but I know Clarke. She doesn't get offended by things other people tell her. But even if she never talked much about you, I know she was often pissed when she got out of your office. I'm sure she likes you but is too proud to tell.''

''She keeps saying she hates me.'' Lexa stated, not believing Raven's words.

''Come on Woods, look at yourself ! Your whole body is screaming Clarke's name. You miss her and I'm sure she misses you too. I don't know what's going on with her but I do know she's depressed. You just have to look at her to see it. She's not fine and I think you're the only one who can get her out of it.''

Lexa thought of it for a moment. Usually, no one could talk to her this way. But this time it was about Clarke. So Reyes could tell her anything. And if Raven was right, then Lexa still had a chance of getting Clarke back for good. ''Alright. I'll get to her as soon as I find her. If I can...''

''I'll ask my friends whether or not they have a new neighbour but I can't promise anything. We're not even sure Clarke has really rented an apartment. Last time she said that she lied, so... anyway, boy or girl ?''

''Boy, his name is Aden. Thank you, Reyes.'' and Raven knew it was her time to leave.

* * *

Two weeks working at this fast food and Clarke regretted her former job. She didn't earn much money and she only bought Aden's stuff. Paying her room was harder than she thought. She hoped Aden wouldn't grow up too fast these next few months because buying clothes was surely not going to be possible. But Aden was a baby, he did grow up fast.

Clarke's days seemed to be the same. She went to work after leaving her son to his sitter. She came home at night, paid the expensive sitter, took care of her son. Almost everyday the awful sound of the remote called Clarke. She came back disgusted. Most of the time, she threw up. That old man grossed her out.

She then laid in bed with Aden and fell asleep after him, a hand on his belly so he wouldn't fall during the night, a blanket on both of them.

Every day was another struggle for Clarke but she reminded herself that she was strong and that her son needed her. So she went on.

One day, a familiar guy came into the fast food and was surprised to see her. He chose her to order. ''Hey cutie. Like your new job I see ?'' Clarke didn't answer. It was pointless. ''So, sweetie, I guess you need even more money now. How about you come to the parking lot next friday ?'' He was talking of Woods Enterprises' _gigantesque_ parking lot. Clarke would punch him in the face if the picture of her son wasn't floating into her mind. She accepted. Soon she'll have to buy Aden new meds and she could not possibly afford it without this guy's money.

Next friday, she was there. She was hungry as hell as she only got two meals a week, the ones she was offered at work. She drank a lot of water to hold on. She was used to it.

He was waiting for her in his car where she joined him. When they were done, he got out of the car and locked it. Clarke tapped on the window, still naked on the back seat. ''What the fuck man ?''

She tried to grab her clothes but she noticed they were gone. Outside of the car, Zeke smiled. ''I have a friend who'd like you too.'' he said. ''If you give him ten minutes of your time then I'll let you go with that cute blanket you're lying on.''

 _Shit._ She had no choice. She had to go back to Aden. She couldn't afford being too late. She could barely afford his sitter. So she accepted. She accepted everything that came to her, not willing to give up. Her son kept her standing.

But maybe this time, as she was now lying on the pavement, wrapped in that small blanket who barely covered her, alone in this huge parking lot, maybe it was too much. She was taken everything from her. Her clothes, from pants to underwear to shoes. The money she was supposed to get. Her dignity.

She had to go back to Aden. She was supposed to be home two hours ago and couldn't warn the sitter because she had no phone. She had to stand up and walk. But she couldn't stand up. The weight on her shoulders had become too heavy.

* * *

Lexa couldn't go back to her apartment tonight. Neither could she last night and the night before. She had tried going back there, hoping Clarke would come back, but the blonde didn't and she felt lonely and worried. Every night she looked for informations. The town was too big. Clarke was good at hiding. But fate, or maybe just random, seemed to be wanting them together because Lexa's security cameras' warning sign appeared on her computer. At this hour, she was supposed to be the only one here. Her computer warned her every time someone else showed up.

And tonight, after she clicked on the sign to see the recording, she thought she was hallucinating.

There was this woman, sitting on the floor, only wearing a little blanket on her pale body. The girl was shaking because it was a bit cold down there even if summer had just showed up. Her head was lowered. The girl's eyes were opened wide, staring at the floor. It was her. It was Clarke. This was her chance.

Heartbroken by Clarke's current condition, Lexa left her office. She took her private elevator as the main ones were off and got down. She walked as fast as possible, suddenly slowing down when she saw Clarke a few meters away.

She slowly approached, not wanting to scare her. Clarke's eyes were off. Lexa swallowed hard. How could someone suffer so much ?

She stopped a few steps away. Clarke noticed the brunette's presence and raised her head. Lexa noticed the tears on the girl's cheeks and her curled lower lip showing her pain. Lexa was breathless. She had to say something before Clarke ran away again. But she didn't have to because Clarke's broken voice asked ''Can you give me a ride ?''

Lexa's eyes widened as surprise punched her in the stomach. _Of course. Whatever you want._ She took the few steps separating them, taking off her jacket and kneeled in front of Clarke, gently putting the jacket on the girl's shoulders. Clarke wasn't looking at her.

The young mother felt so ashamed she couldn't look at Lexa. She was about to break. She was so tired of fighting. Lexa spoke and she listened without raising her eyes.

''I've been looking for you. I... I miss you.'' Lexa never said those words this way before. They were too painful. They remembered her of someone. But not tonight. Tonight was about Clarke. Lexa wanted the blonde by her side so much she surrendered for the first time in her life. ''I'm sorry for what I said to you. I truly think you're the bravest person I know. I need you, Clarke. And if... if you accept... I'd like to take you and Aden home. I'd like...'' She'd like so many things she couldn't express. Clarke was still not looking at her. Lexa was hurt by Clarke's pain. She swore she'd do everything to make Clarke feel safe again. To make her smile. ''I'd like to see you happy. No matter what you think of me. I can at least give you safety.'' Lexa swallowed hard again. ''If you allow me...''

Lexa fell silent. A few hard-to-live seconds went by before Clarke slightly nodded. Lexa could definitely throw music and dance around that parking lot right now. She was taking Clarke and Aden home !

But she stayed stoic because Clarke's face reminded her the blonde was far from being okay. Lexa gently grabbed Clarke by the waist to help her up and Clarke stiffened. Lexa freed her as soon as they were standing. She didn't want to scare Clarke.

''Let's get your son.'' she said.

Clarke followed Lexa to her car. She still couldn't look at the brunette because she had made so many wrong things she was scared of what she'd see through Lexa's eyes. She was a monster. One heartbroken monster.

* * *

 **Clarke is definitely not running away from Lexa again after everything that happened to her.**

 **Pride is gone on both sides, now Clarke has to get through her pain. Lexa is here to help her.**

 **Thanks to all reviewers ! I love reading your comments :)**


	15. Chapter 15

The only thing Clarke whispered on the way back to her apartment was her address. Lexa stared at the building. How could Clarke choose to live there with her son instead of staying with her ?

Clarke had thought she'd jump out of the car to get to Aden as soon as they arrived, but she didn't move. She was staring at the building's entrance, thinking about what she had to do to stay here with her son. The door beside her opened and she shivered under cold and fear's pressure. She got out of the car, feeling the cold pavement under her feet.

Lexa thought of giving Clarke her shoes but she didn't want to upset her.

Clarke rang the bell. Her keys were taken along with her clothes. The door opened and both girls stepped inside. Lexa noticed how Clarke was walking with caution. It was useless, because they were seen. Clarke was seen.

The old tennant didn't even bother to pay attention to Lexa, he stared at Clarke's body dressed with only a small blanket. Lexa would punch him in the face if she didn't know how to control herself.

Clarke was shaking. She was freezing and seeing this man grossed her out. Even more when he said ''You're late. You were supposed to meet me in my office two hours ago. Come inside.''

He talked to Clarke as if she was an item. Something to be used without any consideration.

Lexa didn't need to see more to understand what was going on. She now knew how Clarke got an apartment. And she was so mad for not doing anything earlier ! The man insisted and Lexa took a step forward.

''She's not going into any room with you. She and her son are leaving this building tonight.''

''Not until she pays for last week ! She owes me, I'm not letting her go !''

''Look at me and tell me that again.''

The tennant stared at her for a while, focussing on the brunette lady standing near his price. He blinked a couple times. ''You're that woman on the news !''

''This building belongs to a small company which belongs to me. This whole town belongs to me.'' She then showed Clarke with one glance before staring back at the old surprised man a few meters away. ''Dare to look at her the wrong way once more and you're out of this country.''

Clarke blenched. Did Lexa just threaten the man of sending him away ? Just like her father had been along with so many immigrants.

She noticed Lexa was waiting for her and started walking. She knocked, waiting for Aden's sitter to open the door but no one answered. Lexa saw Clarke's shaking hand on the handle and left her alone for a short minute. She came back with another key and unlocked the door.

Aden was sleeping in his baby seat, his breath noisy. Clarke ran to grab his meds, not caring about the blanket and jacket falling on the ground. She took Aden out of the seat to the bed and kneeled in front of it, laying Aden on the bed, her left arm lifting him up a bit so he could breathe more easily.

She was definitely shaking. Her son was left alone because she didn't come back in time ! He could be dead ! Because of her ! Putting her life in danger was one thing, but her son's ? She could never forgive herself. She was so ashamed of the mother she was. She kept apologizing in her mind, knowing she'd never get any answer.

She felt something wrapping her body up. She recognized the only towel she had from the smell : she had never cleaned it. She only went at the laundromat once a month for her son's clothes.

Lexa called Jackson. It took her a while to be able to get her phone out of her pocket and actually pronounce words. She felt guilty for blaming Clarke for so many things the blonde had never wanted to do. Clarke was broken and it was partly because of her.

She will do everything to make it up to her.

Jackson came. It was late but Lexa was his friend and he had to admit he also worried about Clarke. He heard Lexa whispering to him ''If only she had let me pay for those meds... or let me pay for everything. Contrary to _them_ I don't ask anything in return...''

Jackson nodded slightly, understanding Lexa's despair. It was time for Clarke to let them help. For real, this time. And to do so, the first thing they needed to do was earn Clarke's trust before giving her anything.

Clarke had laid her head on the bed, still holding the mask on her son's face even though she was done giving him his medecine. She was exhausted but she couldn't close her eyes. She'd see everything again. She'd be ashamed again. Her mind was empty as long as she didn't close her eyes. Soon she couldn't even think about anything anymore and she fell into some weird void away from reality. She didn't feel Lexa and Jackson carry her to Lexa's apartment.

The next hours were blurred. Her opened eyes didn't see anything. Clarke didn't pay attention to Jackson checking her. To Lexa trying to reach her a couple times before giving up. She only felt heavy when Jackson injected her some soporific drugs.

When she woke up, it took her a while to remember how she got here. She lost. She tried to make it on her own but she wasn't strong enough. And now she was back in the guest room that reminded her of many things she had regrets about.

A terrible smell got her back to the room she had lived in for a while. She remembered the old tennant. She had to get rid of that towel and she did. She threw it to the other side of the room even though she was now naked under the sheets. After this sudden move, she felt like her whole body had been beaten up. She grinched her teeth as she held the sheet up to her shoulders. She stopped moving, not wanting to bring any more pain to herself.

She stared at the bed for a while, not thinking of anything. It would hurt too much. She kept her eyes opened. If she closed them she'd fall asleep and have those nightmares again. But different, because they weren't dreams, they were a recap of reality.

At some point the door opened. Clarke didn't react. She didn't want to look at whoever came in because she didn't want to be looked at.

It was obviously Lexa. The brunette noticed Clarke was finally awake and tried to find something to say but she wasn't sure it was a good idea. She left the room, another idea in mind, and got back with a plate of food she had prepared a couple hours ago. Jackson had said Clarke would be fine but she had to eat. It didn't keep Lexa from being worried because they still didn't have Clarke's blood test results.

She put the plate beside Clarke. She hesitated. Could she sit ? _No. Not yet,_ she thought before leaving the room. She would let Clarke get better before talking to her. Hopefully Clarke would recover quickly. The blonde was strong.

Clarke could smell the food beside her. She'd eat it if she could. She didn't feel like moving. Eating seemed like the worst idea ever because it would comfort her, keep her alive, and she didn't deserve that. The only idea of her body being fine disgusted her because her body couldn't possibly be fine. She was a monster. Or worse, a thing. A disgusting thing that was picked up from the ground.

It's true, she didn't even have a name. Humans had names, right ? Humans had souls.

Lexa came back an hour later, hoping to find the empty plate beside a better-feeling Clarke. But Clarke hadn't made the slightest move and neither did the plate.

She stood still in front of the bed. Clarke didn't even bother to look at her. The girl seemed so lost. So ashamed. Lexa didn't know what to do. She was looking for the right words.

''Clarke...''

''Is this I told you so ?'' Clarke cut Lexa off with a whisper, her voice broken.

Lexa took a step forward, carefully sitting at the edge of the bed beside Clarke. ''No. This is thank you, for accepting to come back.''

But Clarke hadn't had the choice. ''I did it for Aden.''

Lexa looked down. Clarke hadn't fully given up yet even if the girl didn't have the strength to fight anymore. ''I wish you didn't have to go through all of this. You must know that your issue can be fixed. You don't have to put yourself in danger anymore.''

Clarke was still looking down at the bed. She just wanted Aden to be safe so she could finally let go. ''You know I can't stay.'' she whispered again.

There was no anger in her voice. No fear either. Nothing. That's what hurt Lexa the most. The brunette tried to lay her hand on the blanket which covered Clarke's hand but Clarke pulled her hand back, wincing in pain at the move.

Lexa thought Clarke hated her, that's why the girl didn't let her touch her, but for a second she saw something in Clarke's eyes, something hard to define, but she understood. Clarke didn't just hate Lexa, she hated herself too. She hated her own body more than anything else in the entire world.

''I was serious about what I said earlier, and –''

''You said many things.'' Clarke cut her off with another whisper.

''The terrible things that I told you... I didn't mean them. I was mad at you. I'm sorry.''

Clarke didn't believe Lexa for a good reason. ''What you said was true. I had a baby in a car and I sold my body to get what I wanted. You can't apologize for telling the truth.'' Her voice was slow as if her body hurt just by talking.

''To get what your son needed Clarke ! Wanting and needing are totally different things ! But I don't understand... if you were willing to go as far as selling your body to some men to get money, why didn't you stay here ? Why didn't you just ask for money ? I know it would've hurt your feelings but at least Aden would've been safe... same as you.''

 _Because I don't know if I can still hate you,_ Clarke thought. She didn't know what to do anymore. She wanted to feel safe with Lexa but she couldn't because she wasn't allowed to be in this country and staying with the famous Lexa Woods could get her in trouble. Her son. What would happen to Aden if she was busted ?

''Clarke,'' Lexa talked again. ''I can get you papers. You're French and Australian I'm sure we can use your nationalities to get you the American citizenship.''

Clarke totally dropped her head, her chin against her chest. It was useless. Everything was useless. She was no one. She tried to hold back her tears but she couldn't. It was too much. ''I don't have any official nationality. I don't even know where I was born.''

 _What ?_ Lexa was confused. How could you not know where you were born ? ''But... aren't you...''

''We travelled a lot !'' Clarke almost yelled, overwhelmed by sorrow and pain. ''My mother never wanted my father to get me french papers and she never got me the aussie ones, alright ? Can't you understand that there's nothing that can be done ? I asked you one thing, to adopt Aden, and you refused !''

Clarke was desperately mad. Lexa wasn't going to give up on Clarke. She'd let the blonde lay that heavy pain on her. ''If I adopt Aden, you'll leave for good. I don't want you to go. I need you.'' She swallowed hard. Admitting this kind of thing was really hard for her. But pride had hurt them too much. Clarke had almost died because of it. There was no way Lexa was going to keep playing the fighting card.

''I know.'' Clarke answered, her voice low again. ''You need me to translate for you because you couldn't find any other french speaking person.'' Clarke turned her head the other way, looking at the plate before getting an arm out of the blanket to grab it. She winced again.

Lexa knew what this move meant. It was time for her to leave Clarke alone for a while. She accepted that. So she left the room.

Clarke put the plate back where it was. She didn't feel like eating. She waited for the whole place to fall silent and stood up, making her way to the bathroom. Her whole body hurt. She was cold because she was naked. She entered the closest bathroom and stopped, frozen by the sight of the bathtub. _Shit_. Not the right bathroom. But she couldn't go to the other one, it was too close to Lexa's bedroom. Aden was probably sleeping, too. At least she hoped he was okay.

She tried going into the bathtub but she was frightened by the idea of being surrounded by water. She decided to clean up a bit from the sink but she was so tired and her body hurt so much she just wrapped herself in a clean towel and she lied onto the ground, feeling dizzy. Maybe she should have eaten the food Lexa had given her after all.

When she woke up, it took her at least ten minutes to feel her body again. And somehow, it wasn't a good thing, because it _hurt_. She felt like she only knew that word. She got up and listened carefully before getting out of the bathroom. Once she was sure the corridor was clear, she returned to the guest room.

She laid back under the blanket after taking the towel off. She stopped moving. She didn't want to feel her body. She couldn't sleep anymore, worried and sorrowed. But at least she could avoid physical pain for a moment.

A while later, she heard a knock on the door. She didn't say anything and the one knocking ended up entering anyway.

''I figured you could use some clothes.'' Lexa said, putting some clean clothes on the other side of the bed.

Lexa stared at Clarke for a few seconds. Clarke was looking above herself, her glance empty. It didn't feel like she was focussing on anything. Lexa let the clothes there and left the room. Clarke needed time.

The blonde woman managed to stand up and wrap herself in the towel she had thrown away earlier. She took the clothes and joined the right bathroom, the _shower_ room, trying to be as discrete as possible. She took a long shower, standing still under hot water. Until she started to feel dizzy and got out to dress and sit down.

She was listening to her son crying since he started twenty minutes ago. He wasn't in Lexa's room because the cries came from afar and the bedroom was right beside the room Clarke was in. She left it and followed the noise.

From the living room's entrance, she saw Lexa's back, Aden crying on her. She heard ''Just eat, Aden, you need to eat !'' Lexa sighed. Clarke wasn't sure of how she felt. She still had this pain which didn't seem to be willing to let go of her, but there was also this peaceful feeling as she watched Lexa trying to feed Aden.

Aden was clearly not going to accept the baby bottle Lexa was handing above his mouth, and Clarke wasn't going to let her son skipping meals, so she walked toward the sofa, ignoring the pain echoing through her body from head to toes, and took Aden from Lexa's arms before sitting on the other side of the couch.

Lexa was surprised but she let Clarke take care of her son. As soon as he was settled into his mother's arms, he stopped crying and started drinking his milk. Lexa noticed Aden was scratching Clarke's skin above her breasts, something she had seen before. Aden definitely needed Clarke. Moreover, he _loved_ her.

Lexa watched them. Clarke was staring at her son. It was clear she missed him too. She needed to take care of him as he needed to be taken care of by her.

Aden had fallen asleep a few minutes after he was done eating. Clarke would have kept watching him if there wasn't Lexa beside her. She stood up and took Aden to his cradle in Lexa's room. She went to put the clothes Lexa had given her on, and when she walked out of the bathroom, Lexa was a couple meters away from her, looking right at her.

Clarke still couldn't look at Lexa. She'd see herself in the brunette's eyes and she couldn't handle it right now. So she only looked down.

''Will you ever look at me again ?'' Lexa gently asked, worried. What if she never got Clarke back ? Clarke was safe here, but she was in pain. Lexa wanted to make things better for the blonde.

Clarke couldn't move. Lexa approached and she stiffened. She knew Lexa wanted her to look at her, but she couldn't anymore. She had left her strength back in that parking lot.

Lexa knew Clarke wasn't going to lift her stare, so she got down on her knees, taking Clarke by surprise, and found Clarke's glance with her own. Clarke was ready to look away but Lexa gently grabbed her left hand and the blonde stiffened even more. What was going on ?

Lexa talked, Clarke had no other choice but to listen.

''I swear fealty to you and your son, Clarke. I vow to treat your needs as my own and your son as my son.'' Lexa noticed something new in Clarke's glance. To fear was added confusion. ''Your secret is safe with me. I won't let anyone do you wrong.'' Pain was drowning Clarke's eyes. For once, Clarke didn't get mad at Lexa for trying to earn her trust. That is why Lexa asked ''Will you stay with me ?''

It must had been too much for Clarke because she couldn't hold her tears back anymore. Lexa had already seen Clarke cry, but not with this brand new despair, this attempt of standing still instead of letting go. Clarke had tried. She had really tried this time, but she had added pain up to an amount she couldn't bear anymore. Her legs were shaking and Lexa caught the falling blonde as she stood up.

Lexa steadied Clarke with her arms. Clarke didn't push Lexa away. Her fight was over. She didn't just want to believe Lexa's words, she _needed_ to trust the brunette. Because if she didn't, what could she do ?

She couldn't stand on her own anymore and Lexa's embrace felt so nice. Lexa was warm, and she smelled _so_ good. For the first time since she had met Lexa, Clarke felt safe. No fear, this time. Just Lexa's arms keeping her standing.

It lasted forever, yet Clarke missed Lexa's embrace as soon as Lexa took her arms off of her. She gently guided her to the sofa where she made her sit before disappearing into the kitchen to make some tea.

Lexa came back, put both cups on the coffee table and sat beside Clarke. The latter didn't know how to act. Should she say something ? Could she ?

''Why ?'' she finally asked. ''Why didn't you fire me in the first place ?''

She had been the worst employee ever from the start, yet a CEO such as Lexa Woods let Clarke disrespect her.

Lexa had a good reason for it. A reason who got plenty of other reasons to fill itself over time.

''You've been in pain since the first time I saw you. And furious, too. You reminded me of myself a few years ago.'' Lexa didn't like talking about herself, her past even less, but she really wanted Clarke to trust her, and she wasn't going to earn Clarke's trust if she didn't give the girl her own first. ''If no one had helped me back then,'' she added, ''I wouldn't be here today.''

Clarke understood. Lexa had a pretty good reason. But there had been so much anger from the brunette too ! Clarke had been so scared, so angry, that she had done everything possible to make Lexa hate her and she didn't know anymore. Was Lexa still mad at her or did the brunette just want to help her so she'd be able to sleep at night ?

Lexa must had seen Clarke's confused look because she explained ''This is a peace offer. I'm not angry at you. Not even about Lucy. She's family, yet I've met her not long before I've met you and I was wrong about her. She took advantage of your reputation, I'm sorry about that. I have quite the reputation too at Woods Enterprises, so how about we both put our amazing fame apart and get some pizza ?''

When Lexa had started talking, Clarke had thought the brunette was going to make a long, serious monologue. But Lexa was actually smiling at her, her mobile phone ready to be used. Not to call the police, this time, but rather to order pizza.

Clarke frowned and finally managed to actually look at her. ''That's it ?''

Lexa raised a brow, wondering what that question meant. Clarke added ''You're not... you're not mad – or asking questions ?''

Lexa laughed. She didn't laugh much, but when she did, Clarke felt warmer and safer. ''Well,'' Lexa replied, ''actually I was going to ask you which pizza you'd like but if you don't want me to ask, then...''

Clarke slightly smiled, and Lexa was going to shout a huge ' _I DID IT !_ ' but she didn't for obvious reasons. Clarke's pain was still there, but Lexa had faith. They both needed time. And after one year of tearing each other apart, there was no way Lexa was giving up now.

Clarke spoke and Lexa focussed on her again. ''I'm not – I'm not really hungry.''

Lexa still asked ''Really ? 'Cause I thought you'd be up for a _quatre fromages_.''

Her accent was still awful but much better than the last time she had pronounced these words. Clarke shook her head. ''Your french still sucks.'' and she added – because Lexa's new clown mask did take her mind away from her problems ''It's a bit better though.''

Lexa's smile widened. Clarke hadn't reacted badly to her speaking french. Did it mean she had a chance ? ''Well, you know, I'm kinda disappointed. I thought I could buy you with food once again.''

Clarke almost smiled, but anxiety stroke her and she asked quickly in case she lost her ability to speak ''Lexa, what's going on ?''

Lexa did see the fear coming back to Clarke. She felt guilty for scaring her. ''I didn't have time to buy a white flag, so I'm just going to offer you a handshake.'' She raised her hand. Clarke looked at it, still confused about this sudden peace offer. It was hard for Clarke to realize things could go well for her. There was always danger. Always. And she feared that at the moment she stopped paying attention, danger would come and destroy everything. Like a tsunami. _Damn_ , Clarke was so scared !

''It's okay. You're safe.'' Lexa pulled Clarke back to reality.

Clarke slightly shook her head and grabbed that hand. It didn't just feel like a peace offer. It felt like safety, warmth, and above all – hope.

''So, hm,'' Clarke tried to say clearly, ''I'd go for this _quatre fromages_.''

Lexa's eyes widened and Clarke acknowledged the brunette's surprise. Clarke couldn't say she wasn't surprise too, because for the first time ever, she hadn't spoken french thinking of her father. She had said this hearing Lexa's terrible accent in her head. And this time, saying those words in one of her birth languages felt right. No pain bolt.

Lexa had fallen real hard and yet she felt like she could fly. _One year and I'm still not over her_. She knew she didn't have Clarke's trust yet, but she was optimistic. From now on, she'd really do everything she could to help Clarke getting back to life. The young mother had survived on her own for way too long. _There's nothing to be over_ , she thought before saying ''A _quatre fromages_ it will be then !''

Clarke bit her lip. That was awful to hear, but also really cute coming from that brunette woman beside her. ''Stop it.''

''NEVAH !'' Lexa yelled, trying to get the closest accent from the aussie one she could.

''Don't give me a reason to run away again.'' Clarke said, her tone not harsh enough on purpose. She didn't want Lexa to believe she wanted to leave, because she was really trying to put her fear and anger away. _Lexa won't send me away. She said it. I'm safe._ She was also trying to forget about her pain for at least this moment. _She said she wanted me here. She doesn't think I'm a monster._ She did her best to reassure herself, but Lexa was better than her at this game.

''You know I'd run after you again.'' Lexa replied, giving Clarke a contagious smile.

''Stalker.'' Clarke couldn't help herself but answer. She needed to let go of all this pain and pressure. Lexa was currently so nice, gentle, funny and bright. What Clarke needed. What she had wanted for a year, deep down under her painful anger and crushing fear.

''Stubborn.'' Lexa commented in return.

A few minutes. A few minutes of common chatting with Lexa were enough to bring Clarke hope. This peace offer wasn't that bad after all.

* * *

 **So, Clarke blames herself for everything that happened, but if something is sure, the day she sees Zeke - or Finn - again will definitely not be a good thing for any of them.**

 **Now, will Lexa succeed at convincing Clarke what happened isn't that last one's fault ? You can guess. Anyway, right now, Clarke is safe, even if she's still trying to _feel_ safe.**


	16. Chapter 16

**Hi !**

 **I'm sorry if there are mistakes or typos, I'm tired. Hope you like it !**

* * *

Clarke was trying to get some sleep. It was almost two in the morning and she had been waiting for sleep to come up for three hours now. After eating a couple pizza slices, she had told Lexa she was exhausted and had gone back to the guest room. She really was exhausted, but she couldn't manage to sleep. But what could she do here in the middle of the night ? She didn't want to show anyone her pain. Lexa already knew she was suffering, but Clarke didn't want to be reminded of it all the time. She needed to forget.

But right now, she couldn't forget. She was bored. She was hurt. She was crying again. She thought about how she could've just given up last year and stay here, at Lexa's, where she would've been safe. At least that was what Lexa said. Clarke really hoped she was safe now, because she knew she couldn't handle another failure. The 'too much' line had already been crossed.

She heard baby cries and, for once, she was glad Aden was crying. She had something to do right now – being a mother. She got up and went straight into Lexa's room. The brunette was getting up too.

''I'll take care of him.'' Clarke told Lexa.

The businesswoman didn't get up but didn't lie back either. She sat on her bed, watching Clarke holding Aden in her arms.

''At least, with you, he eats.'' Lexa stated.

Clarke frowned, because it wasn't Aden's time to eat. He did eat at night, like every young baby, but not at this hour. Furthermore, Clarke knew how Aden acted when he was hungry. He didn't cry the same way as he was crying now.

''It's not time to eat. It's just a nightmare. He often wakes up at this time of the night.'' Clarke explained.

''Oh. I really don't know how to take care of a baby then.''

''You did a pretty good job while I was away.'' Clarke replied, shooting a glare at everything Lexa had bought for Aden. Things he needed to survive. Things she couldn't get him. Her son had almost died because of her.

Lexa noticed Clarke's pain and tried to get back to a more common topic.

''He only accepts to drink with me one time over three.''

There was a good reason for that too. ''He's still not used to drinking from baby bottles. At first he didn't want to eat with me either, but he ended up drinking anyway because hunger always win.''

Clarke didn't need to say Aden had first drunk milk from her breasts, it appeared clearly. What Lexa hadn't realized, on the contrary, was that without Clarke's own milk production, maybe Aden wouldn't have made it through his first month into the harsh world they lived in.

Lexa could see how much Clarke loved her son, but she also could see the mother's shame for not being able to properly take care of her baby.

Aden had fallen asleep in his mother's arms, and Clarke carefully laid him back into his cradle. She leaned onto it, watching her son peacefully sleeping. It was clear Clarke didn't want to leave her son, she felt better when she was around him. Less worried, Lexa supposed.

''I can leave you my room, if you want to stay with your son.'' Lexa offered.

The cradle couldn't be moved to the guest room because it was twice smaller than Lexa's room. The guest room was big, but not big enough for the cradle and all of Aden's stuff. At least not with the big size bed in the middle of the room, and the cupboard, and the desk, and all of those things Lexa had never used before Clarke's arrival here. Thinking of it, Lexa wondered why she had such a big apartment. She had been living alone for years. _Have been_. Because now, Lexa wasn't alone. She felt her heart wriggle at the idea of having Clarke here every day.

It was to say that both young women had been chasing and pushing each other away for nearly a year now. Lexa had first pushed her feelings away, but Clarke had such an effect on her she had had to admit to herself that she cared for her. And it only increased every time she had gone after Clarke. Lexa didn't know how Clarke was feeling about her under all this pain and anger. She only knew that it was too soon to tell Clarke how she felt – that she couldn't stop thinking about her. That she was hurt by her pain. That she didn't just not hate her, she was mad about her, but not mad _at_ her. She couldn't say it yet, she was too scared of losing Clarke to say those words, but she felt it and she hoped she'd be able to show Clarke someone cared about her. A lot. So maybe, if Clarke couldn't love herself anymore, she'd let someone else do it for her.

''No, I won't take your room from you again.'' Clarke replied, getting Lexa back to reality.

The brunette raised her head, looking at the young mother not leaning against her son's cradle anymore. Clarke was ready to go back to the guest room. But something was off with her, as if she was trying to hide something too obvious to be concealed.

''Stay.'' Lexa insisted. ''Your son is here. He needs you. If he wakes up again, you'll already be here.''

Clarke wanted to object, but no words were coming out of her mouth. Aden needed her but she wasn't right for him. She kept making mistakes. Was he going to grow up knowing how bad his mother was ? She was stupid, always on her nerves, and she cried so much. Like right now. Even though she had tried not to. Tears came before she could know it.

She turned around and left the room, leaving a confused Lexa behind.

She didn't sleep more than a few minutes. She couldn't find comfort in this big size bed. She was supposedly safe, but not from herself. Her mind was driving her crazy at the acknowledgement of her body and what she had done with it. Each mistake she had made kept hitting her and she wished she could make it up for everything. But she could never make it up to Aden. He was sick because of her, and he almost died. So many causes of death could've been his : cold, asthma, hunger, broken heart at the feeling of being left alone. Literally. He had been alone so many times. Aden may be a baby, but he still felt things. He couldn't understand them so he couldn't know why his mother had left him so many times, that's why Clarke felt so guilty at breaking her son's trust.

So many times. He had cried so much for so many good reasons. And now Clarke could come to him whenever he cried, but she cried most of the time. She felt so dumb for crying so much. For wanting so bad to feel empty after carrying so much pain for so long. _So_ much pain she had passed along to her son. That's not what a baby should inherit from his mother.

* * *

It was morning and Clarke didn't know if she would be okay once out of this room. She didn't want to cry in front of Lexa and Aden. Not again. She was confused. She had fought to keep herself – and once born, her son – out of Lexa's grip because being too close to a Woods for an illegal immigrant seemed too dangerous. But now Lexa knew her secret's big line and had showed her she was on her side.

Clarke was hurt by the fact that she had probably fought for nothing. If she had stopped pushing Lexa away long ago, would she still be safe here ? With Lexa. She had tried hating the brunette but Lexa had proved she was a woman of her word. Since they met, Lexa had told Clarke she wanted to help her and she did. Even if they had had too many fights for Clarke to count, Lexa was still a nice person under her fierce attitude and stoic mask.

Clarke had to face it : Lexa was her only chance of keeping Aden safe. Lexa was the only one Clarke had right now. The young mother really liked having Lexa around, but the fact that she was frightened and hurt always complicated their relationship.

She heard a knock on the door. She didn't lift her head.

''Hi Clarke.'' Lexa said, concerned about the girl's sad expression. ''I thought you might need breakfast. Aden ate an hour ago.''

Clarke didn't react right away. The next seconds seemed everlasting for Lexa, until Clarke finally answered ''I'll be in the kitchen in a few minutes.''

Lexa left. Clarke needed time, she would give her that.

Clarke didn't come. She couldn't leave the guest room. She couldn't keep the tears from falling. Did she even have the right to go out there and be nice to someone she had been awful to for months ? Which Lexa would she see, the one she liked a bit too much or the one she was terrified of ?

The first one came back with a plate of food. She put it on the desk and looked at Clarke, hoping she hadn't made Clarke mad at her for coming back.

''I thought,'' Lexa said, ''I thought maybe you'd like some clothes of your own, so you can choose whatever you want from my laptop and I'll complete the order tonight.''

Clarke didn't need Lexa's money for herself. She couldn't accept it. She only needed Lexa's help to keep Aden safe. But she didn't matter.

Seeing Clarke's lack of reaction, Lexa added ''Or I can give you money so you can go shopping.''

But it didn't work either. Clarke turned on her side to hide her teary face from Lexa. If only she could stop crying, maybe she could be useful to her son.

Lexa cleared her throat, feeling the awkwardness she had created, and declared ''Aden is sleeping. You should go lie down in my room to be there for him. I'll see you tonight.''

Lexa left and Clarke waited for the main door to be locked to go to Lexa's room. She watched her son for a while and lied down once she felt too tired to stand. She laid down for hours, only getting up when Aden needed her.

She ended up taking him in bed with her. He chuckled as she was tickling his belly.

''Four months in less than two weeks huh ? You're getting big son.'' she laughed. It wasn't the most happy laugh she had, but her son really cheered her up. At least she wasn't crying right now. Seeing Aden okay comforted her. She didn't have to worry about him right now. If Lexa kept her word, Aden would get an american ID and grow up safely.

* * *

When Lexa came home, she went to her room first. She had waited to go back to her apartment the whole day. She was relieved when she saw Clarke sleeping under her sheets and Aden peacefully asleep in his cradle.

She decided to go take a shower.

Clarke heard some noise and woke up. She had slept a bit and she felt like she was waking up for the first time in months. But it wasn't. And her confused emotional state was due to something new. Or at least, something back.

 _Shit_. She had pushed the blanket away and was staring at the red-colored sheet between her legs. She got up, nervous, her lower belly had been hurting lately but no more than the rest of her body. She had been hurting so much she hadn't felt her period coming back. Four months after giving birth. _Maybe I should really talk to a doctor, huh_. She was standing, legs tight against one another, thinking of what she should do now.

First, she had to find some pads. She couldn't just keep soaking the whole place with her menstruation. Second, she'd have to change Lexa's sheets before this one could notice what she had done.

She was on the floor, opening every drawer from Lexa's cupboard, hoping to find what she was looking for. She knew it wasn't very nice going through Lexa's stuff after everything she had already done, but she was trying to fix her last mistake which was soaking the brunette's bed.

''Clarke ?'' Lexa had just come back from the bathroom. She had hoped to find Clarke still sleeping so she could look after her. But there Clarke was, going through her stuff. Should she be worried ? No. Clarke had been lying about many things but not about her intentions toward her. Clarke was not a spy from Azgeda Corp., nor any other demon summoned to pull her to hell.

Clarke suddenly stopped and pushed the drawer who bumped into the wooden furniture. She wondered what lie she could tell Lexa this time, before remembering lying brought her the worst. To get out of her lies, she had to stop lying. If it seemed easy, it wasn't. Clarke's cheeks reddened even more from shame and the blonde asked ''Do you – do you have pads ?''

Lexa looked at her wondering whether or not it was a lie. But then she glanced at the bed. It had been there the whole time : the red mark on the white sheets. Clarke saw Lexa noticing the blood-soaked bed and hurried ''I'm – I'm sorry, I was about to change them but –''

''It's okay Clarke. I think I know what period is.'' she smiled. ''I'll change them, go shower. You'll find what you need in the bathroom. You won't have to look for long.''

Clarke slightly nodded and stood up, walking carefully toward the exit. ''Don't look at me.'' she thought out loud, feeling Lexa's eyes on her. She only realized she had said these words out loud when the brunette answered ''You have nothing to be ashamed of, Clarke.''

And Clarke really wanted to believe it, but it was impossible. Shame had already won her over.

* * *

After her shower, Clarke tried to go back to the guest room but Lexa stopped her.

''I need to talk to you.'' the brunette said, and Clarke followed her.

They both sat on the sofa. Lexa grabbed her laptob from the small table in front of the couch and laid it on her lap. She tried to pick the right words but there weren't any. There were just things she wanted to say to start a conversation with Clarke.

''So, I might need your help on something. Actually, it wouldn't be fair to ask for it without offering you your job back at my company.''

Clarke blinked. Was that what Lexa wanted to talk about ? Her job ? How could Clarke come back to a place she had left so many times ? She had quit twice. She was a joke there, no, even worse, a whore. ''Lexa, I... I can't go back... people – they won't agree.''

''People ? You mean my employees ? Do I have to remind you that I'm the boss and that I decide what my employees agree on ? If I want you back, they'll have no other choice but to accept it.''

 _Want_? Clarke's heart ached. Lexa didn't say 'need', she said 'want'. Clarke wasn't used to be wanted by anyone, so she just considered Lexa had used this verb to say 'I need you as a translator'.

''Look, Clarke,'' Lexa said, ''I won't force you to come back. I can't do that. But if you ever want to work again, just know that you've got a sit ready in my office.''

Clarke raised an eyebrow. ''In your office ?''

Lexa nodded. ''I think it would be safer for you. You could be my personal assistant to the eyes of everyone else, but to me, you'd be my personal translator. French isn't the only language required but it's Azgeda Corp.'s, so I really need to know everything they say.''

For having met Azgeda Corp.'s CEO, Clarke definitely knew who the good guy was here. Nia Blanquet didn't even try to hide her evil side. Furthermore, Clarke had seen Lexa's intentions toward her kind, which considerably improved Lexa's reputation in Clarke's mind. But her growing feelings for Lexa hadn't helped her into believing Lexa could keep her and her son safe. And there was this other fact that Clarke couldn't deny : staying with Lexa could put the brunette in danger. A worldwide famous CEO keeping an illegal immigrant at home _and_ employing her ? Clarke had tried to hurt Lexa so the latter would let her go and be safe. Clarke had tried to keep both Aden and Lexa safe by trying to leave their life.

She turned her head over Lexa's opposite side. She was about to cry again and she couldn't. Her attraction to Lexa was no secret, but she wasn't ready to admit her actual feelings. These last few days, she had tried not to think about them but she knew she never managed to entirely hate Lexa. Because if she did then she wouldn't have tried to hate her this much and get this hatred reciprocated.

''Let me think about it.'' Clarke answered. It was all she could give Lexa right now. If Clarke was honest, she'd admit she couldn't take anything anymore. But it was too hard to say.

''I also wanted to ask you if, well,'' Lexa shyly said. It wasn't even a big deal yet she always feared Clarke would push her away again. ''I was going to look online for some baby clothes as Aden is growing up. I figured you could help me choose and, maybe, pick some clothes for yourself.''

There she was, offering to buy Clarke stuff.

Clarke didn't want anything. All she asked was for Aden to be safe, warm, fed, cured. She didn't need anything else. Actually, she couldn't think of having her own clothes, or anything belonging to her, because she couldn't see herself in the future, as near as tomorrow. She felt terrible. She didn't deserve anyone's attention ! Not even Lexa's.

It hurt. It hurt so much. Lexa was just offering to buy some damn clothes, why would Clarke react this way ? The young mother couldn't help it. She was so broken she didn't need much to be stricken down by pain again. It always hurt, but sometimes even more. And right now was a 'sometimes', so she stood up and went into the guest room to hide from Lexa.

The door was barely closed when Clarke fell to the floor, not able to keep the burning tears in. She tried not to make any noise but it hurt so much right now she couldn't hold her painful moans.

She thought she just wanted to be safe. Aden to be safe. Lexa helping them. But she had been in pain for so long. She didn't believe she deserved to be okay.

She couldn't even look at her body. She would see her reflection into her son's eyes and wish he had a better mother. She would see how Lexa seemed to care about her and wish the brunette had picked someone else to care about in the first place.

Clarke wasn't drowning in her lies, anger, and sorrow. She had already drowned long ago. Same as her father.

''Clarke...''

Lexa had just come in. At firsh she had thought it was probably better to leave Clarke alone for a while but then she had heard the girl's desperate cries and couldn't take it anymore.

She kneeled in front of the girl and tried to meet Clarke's gaze but it was empty. She tried to lift the blonde's chin but Clarke kept her head down, her arms against her chest as she tried to keep her pain inside. She didn't want to darken Lexa and Aden's world. Lexa had enough, Aden shouldn't have darkness in his life.

''Clarke, please talk to me.'' Lexa tried to reach her.

Clarke tried to steady her breathing. She had to stop. Lexa shouldn't see her this way. She shouldn't see her at all. Lexa reached for her hand and she let the brunette gently take it. At Lexa's touch, Clarke couldn't keep the words from leaving her mouth. ''I can't live anymore.'' Her voice broke at the end of the sentence which words broke Lexa's heart.

The brunette didn't ask for Clarke's permission to take her in her arms. Clarke let herself drown into Lexa's embrace. She remembered everything she had done to her and the fact that she probably could've had Lexa's arms around her months ago. A year, even, if she had let Lexa help her when the brunette had discovered her pregnancy. ''I... I'm sorry...'' Clarke had to apologize. Their situation was far from being easy but Clarke didn't know what to feel anymore. Apart from pain. She had been frightened and angry for years. Meeting Lexa had increased these feelings until the CEO learnt her biggest secret and vowed to protect her.

 _I love her_. Clarke burst out in cries again. Lexa tightened her embrace.

''Don't be.'' the brunette answered. Clarke didn't need to apologize. Some things were still blurred, still hard for Lexa to understand, but she knew Clarke had had good reasons to act the way she had. That's why Lexa was trying so hard to make things right.

''The things I've done...'' Clarke tried to warn Lexa she was no good, but the brunette cut her off.

''They don't define you.'' and then, Lexa got a new idea. She rose, lifting Clarke up, took her hand and asked her to follow her.

They walked to the bathroom. Clarke followed as she could, but standing was hard for her right now. Lexa placed Clarke in front of the mirror. Clarke frowned and lowered her head. She hated the sight of her body. Lexa felt the girl's shame and, standing behind her, she lifted Clarke's chin up who didn't resist this time.

''See this woman ?'' Lexa asked pointing at Clarke's reflection in the mirror, surprising the latter. ''She's the bravest person I know. She's been through so much I kinda feel ashamed for feeling bad back when one bad thing happened to me. I think I might tell her about it someday, if she wants to. I also hope she'd talk to me when something was wrong because I really want to help her. I mean, if everything seems wrong it doesn't mean it is, right ?''

Clarke's legs were tembling, her hands shaking under the weight of her own shame. But there were also Lexa's words. Right now, Clarke knew that if she was to fall, Lexa would catch her. And Lexa did. The brunette wrapped her arms around her waist, and Clarke really wanted to let go in these warm and strong arms.

''So,'' Lexa laid her head on Clarke's left shoulder, still looking into the mirror. ''as she already noticed I have way too much for myself. I have too much money, too much room in here, and I think she should let me take care of her, not just her son, because it's kinda unfair for one person to have so much. I wanna tell her she couldn't possibly owe me anything, but I never know how she's gonna react. What do you think ?''

In between sobs, Clarke almost laughed. Lexa could be so stupid, and this Lexa Clarke liked the most. She leaned back against Lexa's chest, letting the brunette hold her. This felt like a positive answer to Lexa.

She kept Clarke in her arms for a while, feeling the blonde's sobs decrease minute after minute.


	17. Chapter 17

Clarke woke up in Lexa's room. The brunette had left her her room last night and had taken the guest one. Clarke could take care of her son all night, and now he was laying beside her. She had a hand on his belly to keep him from rolling away and falling off of the bed.

He had an asthma attack around 4am and after giving him his medicine Clarke had been too lazy to get up and put him back into his cradle. She also liked having him beside her. At least she was sure he was okay.

It was already 11am. Aden was still sleeping. Wasn't he hungry ? Clarke supposed he was tired since his last attack. She gently woke him up. He brought his fists to his eyes which made Clarke smile. She then looked at him, confused. She remembered what happened yesterday with Lexa. Could she hope for a future with both Lexa and Aden ? Could she live ?

She got up, mechanically grabbing clothes from Lexa's wardrobe to get dressed. Aden had fallen back to sleep. She had to wake him up again to change his diaper, clean him up and feed him.

She put him into the cradle and left the room. She had to talk to Lexa.

She heard noise from the deep end of the corridor and walked toward the closed door. Lexa was inside, talking on the phone. Clarke couldn't avoid hearing Lexa say '' _Stop this. We've already talked about it. My answer is no and I don't intend on changing it._ ''

Clarke frowned. What was Lexa talking about ? Who was she talking to ?

'' _Don't you dare bring Costia to this ! This is not just about her. My father was wrong !_ ''

Clarke leaned against the wall. '' _I'm in charge. You don't have your word on this._ '' And that was it. No more words. No more noise. So Clarke decided to knock. The door opened and Lexa wondered if Clarke had heard her phone call. Seeing Clarke's face, Lexa figured the girl probably did.

''Come in.'' Lexa said.

Clarke followed the brunette into the room which was in fact a small office with a desk in the middle of it. There was only one chair, so Lexa handed it to Clarke.

The young mother tried to refuse but Lexa insisted and Clarke sat while she was standing in front of her desk.

''Do you need anything ?'' Lexa asked, relieving Clarke from starting a conversation.

''Actually... about yesterday, I really think I should stop stealing from your wardrobe, so...''

Lexa slightly laughed, which warmed Clarke's chest. It confused the blonde girl because, in those moments, she didn't feel the weight of life. Lexa was giving her hope. But Clarke couldn't handle any delusion anymore. Lexa was nice, but she had rejected her twice already. There was no way love could be requited.

''You're not stealing Clarke, I told you you could take anything you needed.'' Lexa smiled and looked at her desk on which her laptop was. ''How about I take it and we take care of it now in the living room ? There, we'll both be able to sit.''

Clarke nodded and a minute later they were both sitting on the couch.

They shopped online, sometimes laughing about how terrible some clothes were or how bad they would look on them.

Lexa would definitely pour two glasses of champagne right now, because Clarke had laughed. She kept joking to make her laugh even more but the purchase was done and Clarke's glance was lost in the void.

''Clarke ?''

''Who's Costia ?'' Clarke suddenly asked, regretting it right away. ''I'm sorry, I... I heard, earlier...''

Lexa was clearly surprised, but she couldn't be mad at Clarke. The latter deserved some answers too. And somehow, Costia's story was similar to Clarke's. Yet so different on so many levels.

''Costia was... she was my girlfriend, back in college. She was here on a student visa, but I've asked her to stay after it burned out to work with me at the company. My father didn't like her, and it was even worse when Titus found out she was from Mexico. They were about to send her back to her birth country, but I knew her family...'' Lexa stopped for a few seconds. Clarke didn't say anything, knowing how hard it was for Lexa to tell this story. Lexa's eyes had darkened. Her hands were nearly shaking, Lexa was holding one another trying to hide it. She had never told this story. Jackson knew because he had been there for her when her world collapsed, but she never had to tell him. He knew. Everyone knew. It had even been in the newspapers which Clarke hadn't read back then for good reasons. ''her family wasn't very nice to her. So, I managed to get her a seat on the very first plane my father used to send immigrants away. I thought she would join Europe and wait for me in London. I could've worked for Woods Enterprises there instead of here. But the plane never made it to Europe.'' She breathed deep, then added : ''All these people. Gone. I could never forget any of their names. I could not save them.''

Clarke's heart was beating so fast she couldn't hold the tears back. So many memories were getting through her mind. Memories of her father. Memories of her first encounter with Lexa and every moment she had spent hating someone who had tried to save everyone in the first place. Someone who had been through hell too. Clarke could've given up long ago instead of suffering so much. Aden would've been safe with Lexa. And maybe herself, too. If Lexa could clean Woods Enterprises from the former CEO's policy, then Clarke and Aden could be safe here.

Unless Clarke was discovered and Lexa brought to justice for hosting and employing illegal immigrants.

''Clarke...'' Lexa definitely knew how sad her story was, but Clarke was drowning in her own pain. She was crying too, now, because she remembered of how bad that period of her life was, how close to death she had gotten, and how the woman she cared about today was hurting.

''I'm so – sorry...'' Clarke didn't know if the pain would ever go away. She just knew that she could've fought to really make things right for Aden and Lexa. Instead she had made Lexa run after her because she had kept running away. She had turned the brunette's apartment upside down. She had treated her like crap.

''Clarke, you've – you have nothing to be sorry about, this...'' Lexa said as she tried to shake the girl. ''this story is over now.''

Clarke had her arms against her thighs, her chest against her arms. Her heart was hurting. She felt Lexa's arms surrounding her and tried to say something. Her voice was broken. She couldn't speak. She lifted a bit, fighting the pain which was trying to crush her for good, and grabbed Lexa's laptop, her shaking hands trying to steady it on Lexa's lap. Clarke tapped seven times on the keyboard and let go of it.

Lexa was hardly containing her sobs. She held the laptop to read what Clarke had written on the search bar. Her eyes widened, looking at Clarke to go back to the screen, repeating the same pattern for eternity. _No_. She put the laptop away and grabbed Clarke's shoulders to make Clarke look at her. She saw them. Clarke's blue eyes. But they were far from being joyful, or even careful. Clarke was broken. _No... no !_

She pulled Clarke into a tight embrace. She could never let go of her. _Shit !_ How could she not know ? Clarke is part French, how could she not figure it out sooner ? She had heard. She had heard this nice man talking about her once. A long time ago. He was really liked at the company, yet Lexa's father sent him away. Lexa was mad. If only she had known Clarke's first name back then, if only she had been able to talk more to this man, she would have recognized her and she could have helped her much sooner !

Clarke's forehead was leaning against Lexa's shoulder. She was stiffening second after second. Now she knew, Lexa hoped she could help Clarke on getting back to life. She had to. She would never let go of her. Clarke deserved better, whether the young mother agreed or not.

''You're...'' she breathed, ''you're Jake Griffin's daughter.'' and Clarke's arms wrapped around her back. The blonde head sneaked into her neck. Lexa held on to her too, because she had just realized they both had suffered too much. Clarke even more. Clarke hadn't had Lexa's citizenship or money, or job, to keep her busy, or even safe. At least safer than she was as an illegal immigrant.

Clarke's embrace tightened and Lexa had to lay back on the sofa. They were both crying in each other's arms. Somehow, both of them hoped these tears could clean their past. But right now, there was only one holding onto the other. Clarke fell asleep, her head stuck in Lexa's neck. The latter followed a few minutes after, wishing for Clarke to stay under her protection.

* * *

They were woken up by Aden's cries. Clarke jumped off of Lexa, embarrassed. She disappeared into the corridor while Lexa got back into a sitting position.

Aden was hungry, and Clarke remembered she had left his bottle into the kitchen when she had gone there to clean it last night. She took Aden, the milk, and crossed the living room. When she got back with Aden and the baby bottle ready, she saw Lexa staring at her from the couch. Clarke decided to go sit on it, as far as possible from the brunette. She hardly believed she had slept on her. She had to know something. After what they had learnt about each other, she had to know.

''Do you think we could start over ?'' she asked, hoping for a fresh start. She definitely didn't want to leave, and she really wanted her son to be safe.

Lexa smiled, her chest feeling warmer at Clarke's attempt to reach her. ''I'm Lexa Woods. I'd shake your hand but you seem pretty busy.''

Indeed, Clarke was holding Aden and his baby bottle. The baby had his eyes closed, scratching his mother's breasts with one hand as he was peacefully drinking. Clarke smiled back, a slight smile, but enough for Lexa who had seen Clarke break more than once.

''Clarke Griffin.'' the blonde girl answered.

Lexa was stricken by a bolt of happiness as she realized Clarke hadn't lied about her first name. She had been calling her Clarke all this time – finding this name particularly pretty – and was glad to hear that she had called her the right way and that she could keep calling her this way.

''Nice to meet you, Clarke Griffin.'' Lexa teased. ''You should be careful though, I have a very specific reputation.''

Clarke frowned. ''How's that ?'' she asked. Lexa was keeping her mind away from pain, which Clarke appreciated even though she was confused about the relationship she shared with the brunette.

''Well,'' Lexa said, trying to get Clarke to laugh again, ''magazines say no woman can resist me. One glance only.''

It worked, Clarke laughed. Aden opened his eyes, surprised. He had trembled into his mother's arms, not used to hear her laughing. Clarke's laugh faded away and Aden closed his eyes again, still chewing on the baby bottle to drink its milk.

But there was that one thing which took Clarke's smile away. ''I suppose I have my own reputation too. Apparently I don't even need one glance.''

Lexa looked down, then up to Clarke again. She was determined to push Clarke's shame away. ''Well, I'm looking at you right now.''

Clarke slightly smiled again but didn't answer. She focussed on her son, unable to look at Lexa. She didn't want to ruin everything again. She felt like she would if she looked up.

* * *

Lexa was staring at the list again. She had done it so many times. She was still mad at herself for not knowing sooner. Clarke's father had died and the girl had been alone for a while. How long ? And where was her mother ? If Jake Griffin was Clarke's father, then the girl's mother was surely the Australian parent.

So many things Lexa didn't know. But she was going to help Clarke anyway. Because every mistake Clarke had made wasn't a mistake, but an attempt at survival. Lexa had wondered for months about the reason why Clarke despised her and her family. Well, the Woods had just killed her father and now, it could happen to her too. Lexa knew why Clarke was so scared and anxious. She didn't even know what she would've done in Clarke's place. She had collapsed for living a tenth of what Clarke had been through.

She raised her head. She was still in her office at the company. It was the end of her work day. She didn't hesitate before turning off everything and leaving the building. Clarke was at home with her son. For a few days Lexa had had someone to go back to. Knowing the young woman was at her place and that she would get to see her brought her more joy than she could ever tell. But she never told Clarke, it would probably scare the girl. And there was no chance Clarke requited her feelings anyway, Lexa knew it.

Clarke had kissed her twice in the past. The first time Clarke was desperate and the second she was drunk. Lexa also knew that Clarke was fighting to keep her anger for the Woods away. For her son's sake. And Lexa was definitely not going to ruin that.

She went to check on Clarke and Aden as soon as she got home. Clarke was sleeping. Aden was lying beside her. The baby mask was lying between them. Lexa understood. She took Aden in her arms, checked his breathing, and put him back into the cradle to let him finish his nap.

She slowly shook Clarke.

''How are you feeling ?'' she asked once the young mother was awake.

Clarke didn't answer, as usual, because she didn't want to lie and she didn't want to say that she wasn't feeling well either.

''I'm gonna make dinner, are you hungry ?'' Lexa asked to erase her former silly question.

Clarke nodded. Lexa left. Clarke took a couple of minutes to get back to reality and stood up to join Lexa in the kitchen. The brunette told her to sit and Clarke waited for Lexa to be done and sitted too before starting a conversation.

''Lexa, I... I can't just sleep all day and let you pay for everything, so –''

''You know money isn't an issue, Clarke.'' Lexa cut her off.

''No, I mean, I know it isn't for you but I wanted to ask you... I'd like to come back. It would only be fair, helping you, since you're helping my son and I, so...''

''Of course. I told you you could come back whenever you wanted, and you still can.''

''Alright. Thanks.'' Clarke simply said, putting a fork full of vegetables in her mouth.

Lexa stared at Clarke until she was done eating. The latter didn't even pay attention. Lexa was glad she hadn't been busted. She had found Clarke's awkward request so cute her heart had melted right onto the kitchen table.

 _I'm such a mess_ , she thought, now alone in the kitchen. But she was even more happy tonight, because she knew Clarke was going back to work with her.

* * *

Clarke stayed in Lexa's room more than she expected. She really wanted to talk more to the brunette but she didn't know what to say or what to do. She was still thinking through all the new informations she had gotten from Lexa. Maybe she could've met her when her dad was still working for the previous CEO. Maybe Clarke woud've spent more time with her father too, instead of being stuck at home with a mother who didn't always come home at night because of her job. Maybe she would've met Lexa and liked her when things weren't messed up yet.

Maybe they would've been there for each other in due time. Maybe Clarke wouldn't have been so ashamed of herself and her feelings. She couldn't lie anymore, nor pretend to be someone she was not, but she could not possibly tell Lexa about her feelings. Lexa had already rejected her in the past, Clarke was not going to hurt herself even more.

* * *

Clarke went back to work the next day. Lexa had told her to rest a few days but Clarke needed to keep her mind busy. She had to stop crying all the time.

When she entered Lexa's office, she saw a second desk against Lexa's, both desks forming a right angle. The CEO hadn't lied. She had said she would add a desk for Clarke in her office and she did.

Lexa was doing everything she could for Clarke to feel at home with her. Clarke really wanted this blossoming friendship to work. Even though Clarke's heart had always wanted more, while her mind had tried to keep her away from Lexa.

But now Clarke's mind was opening and couldn't keep Clarke's feelings out of itself.


	18. Chapter 18

The next morning, Lexa opened her room's door to find a sleeping Clarke in her bed. The alarm was ringing, yet Clarke didn't wake up. Aden wasn't awake either. Lexa turned off the alarm and sat on the bed beside Clarke which made the blonde turn to the other side.

Lexa smiled. Aden had woken up five times last night. It had been a rough night for both the mother and the son. Lexa shook Clarke's shoulders.

''Clarke, wake up, you don't want to go back to being late.''

The girl opened her eyes, blinking several times before being able to see Lexa sitting on the bed. She abruptly lifted herself to a sitting position. ''What time is it ?''

Lexa laughed. _This girl will kill me someday_. ''It's okay. I'm leaving in half an hour, you still have time to get ready and eat something.'' She watched Clarke brushing her hair back. The young mother was obviously exhausted. ''You know you could rest for a few days, right ? I told you it was too soon to go back to work.''

''No, no, I'm fine. It's just, Aden had troubled breathing, so.'' Clarke got up and took some of her new clothes from the furniture before rushing to the bathroom.

Lexa couldn't keep herself from smiling. If only she could see Clarke waking up every day, she could consider her life fulfilled and die in peace.

Lexa's phone rang. She had to go to the office now. She knocked on the bathroom's door to tell Clarke. ''I have to go now. I leave you my car keys, I'll take my motorbike.''

When Clarke left the shower, Lexa was already gone. _A bike ?_ Did she hear well ?

Yesterday, Lexa had dropped Clarke a couple streets away from the skyscraper, somewhere quiet, because Clarke didn't want to ruin Lexa's reputation by getting to work in Lexa's car.

But now she had just learnt Lexa also had a bike, and Clarke's mind showed her an idea of Lexa on her motorcycle, which obviously occupied Clarke's whole brain all morning.

She had tried not to look at Lexa, focussing on files, but it was very hard for her. The brunette was right here, a few feet away, and Clarke blushed as she remembered the exact moment when she woke up on top of Lexa, her head comfortably settled on Lexa's shoulder, against the brunette's neck. She had loved feeling Lexa's warmth, Lexa's flagrance, Lexa's breath against her hair, Lexa's arms around her, Lexa's...

 _Shit_. She had to stop thinking of the woman sitting at the desk next to hers or she wouldn't be able to keep herself from grabbing these thin arms to pull the brunette against her.

''Clarke ?''

 _Huh ?_ Clarke blenched, making Lexa raise a brow. She had been so deep into her thoughts she had forgotten the file she was working on and she hadn't noticed her boss staring at her.

''What ?'' she asked, her eyes widening as she was still getting back to reality.

''I asked you what you wanted to eat for lunch.'' Lexa kept herself from smiling at Clarke's behavior.

Clarke wanted to say she wasn't hungry but the idea of having lunch with Lexa seemed too nice for her to refuse. ''Huh, a salad I guess.'' She wasn't hungry enough for anything consistent. Actually, her lower belly ached and this pain was slowly spreading into her body. She knew it was her period – who had made its come back not long ago – and that she didn't need to worry, but it didn't change the fact that it hurt.

''A salad it will be then.''

But when noon came, Lexa was called for an urgent meeting. ''I'm sorry Clarke, I can still get you your salad before attending the meeting if you –''

''No, I'm fine, don't worry.'' Clarke assured her.

But Clarke was still weak and didn't eat enough, so Lexa wasn't going to let Clarke skip her lunch.

''I'll have it delivered.'' she declared, not letting Clarke time to protest before leaving her office.

Clarke didn't understand why Lexa tried so hard to make her comfortable and happy. She didn't deserve it. But she couldn't say she didn't like Lexa's attention either. Every time Lexa took care of her, she felt awkward and content at the same time.

The salad was delivered on Lexa's order and Clarke tried to eat it even though she wasn't hungry. She was trying to make some efforts for things to be alright with Lexa. But the pain in her lower belly had grown and eating was hurting her even more.

* * *

This meeting had been awfully long for Lexa who just wanted to get back to Clarke. Having the young woman in her office didn't help her containing her feelings, but at least she was sure Clarke was safe.

She didn't even bother to get lunch for herself, she was used to skipping meals. She went straight to her office to find Clarke sleeping on her desk, her head dropped on her keyboard.

Lexa smiled. She should be mad at Clarke for falling asleep at work, in the CEO's office, but she couldn't. Clarke looked too cute when she was asleep.

She approached and gently shook Clarke's shoulder. ''Clarke ?'' She looked at the girl's left and saw the salad she had bought for her. Clarke had barely touched it. ''Clarke, wake up.'' She slowly said before looking at the blonde more closely. She noticed Clarke's sweaty forehead and shook the young woman harder. ''Clarke, wake up !''

Clarke slightly moved but didn't wake up. Lexa saw her winced and decided to take her to the bedroom adjacent to her office. She grabbed Clarke by the waist and lifted her. That's how she saw it. On the chair, some blood coming from Clarke's pants. _Oh no._

Lexa struggled to carry the young sleeping blood-soaked woman into the bedroom and onto the bed. She tried to wake her up but Clarke wasn't opening her eyes. She decided to call her gynecologist.

She called the doctor and went back into the room, sitting beside Clarke. She tried to wake her up once more and got a frown from the young mother. Clarke started moving, wincing in pain, scratching her pants trying to get it off.

Lexa understood that the jeans were too tight and unbuttoned them for Clarke. She took her hand and Clarke's tightened on hers.

Lexa's heart was beating faster every minute Clarke was hurting. ''It's okay, Clarke. You're gonna be okay.'' And Lexa really hoped it was going to be.

* * *

Lexa's gynecologist had just finished examinating Clarke when she left the room to find a worried Lexa nervously tapping on her bottle of water. The latter stood up when she heard the door opening. She waited for the doctor to speak because she knew she wouldn't be able to contain her anxiety.

''She's having postpartum contractions. It's common.'' she stopped a second to think and asked ''When did you say your friend gave birth ?''

Lexa opened her mouth to answer but she closed it, realizing she didn't know Aden's birthday. She only had an idea of his age. ''Clarke's son must be four months old. Or close to it, I think.''

The doctor seemed skeptical. All of this was unclear, no wonder this young mother was in such pain.

''Why ? What's going on ?'' Lexa couldn't keep herself from asking. The doctor didn't seem certain of her diagnosis.

''Postpartum contractions usually happen sooner, way before the first period since pregnancy. You said Clarke have given birth alone and didn't take care of herself since then, I suppose her body is trying to get back to normal. Hopefully she'll be fine in a couple weeks, but her next periods might be painful.''

She got a notebook out of her bag along with a pen and started writing. ''Here's a prescription. Hormones to help her body get better faster and properly. I add pain killers, I guess I don't need to explain to you how to use them.''

 _Obviously not_ , Lexa mentally answered. She knew too well about pain killers. But it was the past now, her past, but Clarke's present. This was Clarke's 'now' and Lexa was going to help her through it as best as she could.

The doctor left. She had been Lexa's mother's doctor for a decade and she had been Lexa's first gynecologist. Lexa had never wanted to change because she trusted her – and hell how hard it was for Lexa to trust anyone !

The brunette went to buy Clarke's meds. She had no important meeting this afternoon, so she decided to adjourn both her meetings. She would work in her office, close to where Clarke was so she could be here for her if the blonde needed anything.

When she came back into the bedroom, she saw Clarke's bloody pants lying on the floor. Clarke was covered with the heavy blanket. Lexa sat near the bed and cursed herself for having to wake up the young exhausted woman.

Clarke barely opened her eyes and Lexa had to lift her up to make her drink the pain killer. She was still sweating and Lexa reminded herself to make the girl drink once every hour.

* * *

Clarke blinked at the small desk lamp's light on the furniture against the door's wall. Apart from this light, the room seemed dark. No light was coming from under the door which was closed. Clarke was slowly hearing it better and better. The sound of someone breathing beside her.

She turned her head to the right side and saw Lexa asleep in her chair, her head resting on the bed. Clarke started to feel her body again and she soon felt Lexa's warm hand pressed against hers. Another feeling came back : pain. Clarke had tried to move slightly and that had only brought pain back. She winced, her head tightening on Lexa's.

The brunette woke up, worried. Clarke was confused. She was trying to remember everything that had happened for her to wake up in that bed but her body had decided to keep her mind away.

''How are you feeling ?'' Lexa asked, back to a proper sitting position.

Clarke didn't answer. The answer was obvious. She moved to the right, bent as a brand new set of contractions kicked in. Her hand crushed Lexa's and she let go of it. She didn't want to hurt the other girl.

Lexa brought her disappointingly free hand to Clarke's wet hair. ''Breathe deep, Clarke. It's just a bad time. You'll make it through.''

Clarke bit her lower lip to keep herself from screaming. It was like she was giving birth all over again, but this time no baby was going to come out of her, no one needed her to keep her eyes open, she had no one, nothing, to hold on to.

She pushed her head back, not paying attention to her own moans. Her head was spinning. She barely felt Lexa brushing her forehead with a wet napkin.

Lexa felt miserable at the sight of Clarke moaning in pain, holding on tight to the sheets. If Clarke was barely handling her postpartum pregnancy, how was the day she gave birth to her son ? Lexa should've been there for her, she should've found her back then. No matter how hard Clarke had tried to keep her away. She felt like she had betrayed the girl. Because she knew how badly things would've been for her if no one had come in time, back when her life felt over.

Clarke opened her eyes again, looking everywhere.

''Clarke ?'' Lexa tried to reach her.

''What time is it ?'' Clarke whispered. The picture of her son had come back and she had to ask about him before new contractions would come.

''Around two in the morning.'' Lexa answered, her eyes going back from her watch to Clarke. She was hopeful. Clarke was talking to her, it was a good sign.

''Aden...'' she whispered again before wincing in pain.

''He's fine, he's with his nanny. She accepted to keep him for the night. Don't worry, Clarke. You're both safe.'' Lexa wanted to reassure Clarke, to ease her pain, but she didn't know how to.

Clarke had her jaw clenched and was breathing heavily. She was in pain, yet she whispered ''Go back to Aden.''

Lexa's eyes widened. ''What ? No way, Clarke ! Aden is safe, I'm not leaving you alone.''

Clarke closed her eyes for a few seconds, her head spinning too much for her to keep her eyes open. Lexa laid a hand on the girl's burning cheek. Clarke was soaked in sweat. She couldn't stay this way.

''Clarke, you need a bath.''

This sentence must have triggered Clarke because she abruptly opened her eyes, lifting her body to grab Lexa's arm. ''No, no ! No bath ! I – huh – stay, but no bath.''

''Clarke, your body needs to cool down, you're burning up !'' Lexa insisted. But then she noticed Clarke's fear in the girl's blue eyes and remembered. The last time she had tried to lay Clarke in the water, the weak girl had panicked. ''Clarke –''

''No bath, please...'' Clarke desperately whispered before falling onto her side, her hand still holding Lexa's upper arm.

''Okay, okay.'' Lexa assured her, laying her free hand on Clarke's hair to brush it gently. ''No bath, I promise.''

Clarke didn't hear. She had fallen back to sleep.

* * *

The next day had been rough for both Clarke and Lexa. The first stayed in bed all day, not able to stay up for long. She had tried going to the bathroom to use the toilets but contractions pulled her down and she had fallen asleep on the floor.

The second had tried working but had been too worried about Clarke to focus on anything. She checked on her as much as she could. Now silence had filled the building. Lexa went back to the bedroom with some food, hoping Clarke would eat.

The blonde was awake, staring at the ceiling. Her glance was empty, no emotion, no pain, no thought, nothing.

Lexa sat beside her and laid a hand on her forehead. ''Clarke ?'' she carefully called her.

A heavy moment later, Clarke's eyes fluttered and slipped to find Lexa's. ''I'm fine.'' she mechanically said.

''You're still hot but it's better than yesterday.'' Lexa waited for Clarke's reaction which never came.

''I'm bringing you to my apartment tomorrow. You'll rest there. Don't come back to work until you're alright, okay ?''

 _Work_. This word echoed in Clarke's mind as she recalled something important. Her eyes widened and she lifted her body to a sitting position. ''I have to –''

She was about to stand but Lexa stopped her. ''You need to rest, Clarke !''

Clarke grabbed Lexa's arms which were pushing her back to bed. ''You don't understand, the thing I was translating, it's, huh, I don't remember everything. There's – there will be a big meeting next week right ?''

Lexa frowned. How did Clarke know about this ? ''Yes, but only our biggest partners know. Why ?''

''Azgeda will be there. Apparently they have a right to be and they invited themselves.''

Lexa sighed. Seriously ? How did Azgeda even find out about this meeting ? She looked at Clarke who was probably going to jump out of bed to finish her work if Lexa asked her another question. Lexa had to wait to know more, or try to understand herself. ''Good job, Clarke. Thank you.'' she declared. This could wait. For now, Clarke had to rest.

''Thank you...'' Clarke thanked her back, surprising Lexa. ''thank you for looking over Aden and I.''

Clarke was blushing, but it could've been because of the fever, so Lexa didn't notice it.

''Well,'' Lexa replied with a small yet warm smile, ''what are friends for ?''

 _Friends._ Lexa was indeed being a very good friend to her, but Clarke's heart couldn't help but wish more, so Lexa's statement hurt.

''You're a good friend, Lexa.'' Clarke said, looking down to hide her disappointment.

Lexa looked down too. She didn't want to scare Clarke by implying that she expected more from her, so she had stated their friendship. Even if it felt like she had stabbed herself in the heart.

Clarke could handle being friends with Lexa, but she had to keep her heart from wishing too much. She knew she would have to tell Lexa about her feelings. At least she would definitely stop hoping. Clarke decided she'll do it once back on her feet. She had to find the courage to open up to Lexa.

* * *

 **Hey guys !**

 **Thanks to everyone who reviewed, it's really nice reading your reactions !**

 **Clarke wants to tell Lexa about her feelings. How do you think she'll do it ? :D**

 **See you on tuesday ! :)**


	19. Chapter 19

Clarke was feeling better. Her period was over and contractions had faded. Like a dream. Clarke couldn't quite speak of a nightmare, because Lexa had looked over her, coming back home earlier for three days. Being at home had helped Clarke, and the girl had realized Lexa's apartment felt like _home_. She didn't have to do anything to stay here, she was safe. Her son was. But she didn't want to rely on Lexa, so she got back to work as soon as she felt better.

She also needed money, but she couldn't ask Lexa for this. She wouldn't get paid before two weeks and had no idea how she would do what she _had to_ , at least until a friendly face appeared in front of her when the elevator doors opened.

''Clarke !'' Raven wrapped her friend in her arms, glad to see she was okay. ''You're back !'' she smiled and Clarke's heart warmed as her mind showed her good memories.

Her past wasn't just dark after all.

They went together to grab a coffee and catch up.

''So, how's your son ?'' Raven asked once they sat at her desk in her office.

Raven had made it big here. Clarke was glad her friend's talent had being recognized. She frowned at Raven's question.

''How do you know it's a b –''

''Woods told me. She may have asked for my help to find you, but it's a big city. Finding someone isn't that easy, especially when that someone is particularly good at hiding.''

Clarke slightly smiled. Lexa had really tried to find her. Clarke wished she hadn't been so hard to find, because this nightmare could've stopped sooner. Well, it's not like she really was out of it now. She could still be discovered, but Lexa wouldn't be the one to set her up, she was sure of it now. Clarke was definitely not out of trouble, but at least she was in a more comforting danger. The one where she was frightened in Lexa's safe apartment instead of being frightened in a small disgusting room with her son's life on a very sharp edge.

''Clarke ?'' Raven brought Clarke back to reality. The blonde blenched, her glance coming back to her friend's. ''Everything's okay ? You seem away and if you want to talk about it, I mean, obviously things aren't easy, you have a son, who am I kiddi –''

That's when Clarke thought of _it_. ''Actually,'' she cut Raven off, ''I need some help on something.''

Raven straightened up, ready to do whatever her friend wanted her to. They hadn't spent time together in so long, Raven really missed her former colleague. Things had been so simple between them, talking and joking about any stuff coming up. But the young-recently-promoted engineer didn't know much about Clarke's life. She had seen how detached Clarke was everytime anyone asked her questions about her personal life. So Raven had never tried to push Clarke into telling her story.

''I kinda currently live at Woods','' Clarke started to explain, ''I was in some sort of trouble and I'm staying there with my son Aden right now. So... well, I, huh, I'd like to – kinda – thank her for hosting us and, well, as I don't have any money right now, I can't buy anything myself and, well, I can't ask her for cash because it's supposed to be a surprise, well, not a big –''

''WAIT !'' Raven stopped Clarke by grabbing the blonde's arm. She saw Clarke's surprise in her eyes and realized she had yelled so she started whispering. ''You wanna make her dinner, don't you ?''

Clarke bit her lip, slightly turning her head to the other side, making a mischievious smile appear on her friend's face when this one saw the reddening cheeks. Clarke was blushing.

''Are you going to confess your feelings ?'' Raven whispered again.

Clarke's heart missed a bit. _How the hell does she know ?_ ''What ? What makes you think I like her ?'' she pouted. Raven's smile widened and Clarke knew she was done.

''Look, blondie honey, you like girls, even more when they're smart and strong-minded, and one has been running after you for more than a year. And deep down, I know you love being chased down by her, because who wouldn't ?''

Clarke frowned. _I didn't want her to chase me. I was running away from her._ But Raven was actually right on the fact that Clarke had always wanted Lexa, no matter how complicated her situation was. She was always attracted by the brunette, and to this were added these feelings that she had tried to contain. Knowing Lexa, how caring the fierce CEO could be, only made Clarke like her more and more.

''Okay.'' Clarke surrendered in a whisper. ''I like her. I might tell her tonight. I just... I can't forget about these feelings and now that I'm staying with her without any plan to leave, I just... I – I don't want to wait forever. I have to know now.''

Raven's smile had slowly dropped, carefully listening to what her friend was saying. Because Clarke was talking about something personal to her for the first time and was clearly uncomfortable about it. But Clarke trusted her with this, and Raven wasn't letting her friend down. She just got Clarke back and hopefully will be able to see her more often now she knew Clarke was back.

''So ?'' Clarke asked. ''Will you help me fetch fresh food ? I'll pay you back as soon as I get paid, I promise.''

''Sure ! And don't worry, I won't ask you the money back. I'm doing this because I want to ! I get out of here at four, what about you ?''

''As soon as I'm done with today's work. I'll try to get it over with before four. I'll wait for you outside.''

Raven nodded and dropped her empty plastic cup into the basket beside her desk. She saw Clarke handing her something and noticed it was a phone.

''Lexa gave it to me this morning. She said it's mine now. We stay in touch, right ? It will be easier with calls now that we're not working together anymore.''

Raven smiled and grabbed the phone to register her number. She gave it back to Clarke and the blonde left her friend's office. Both of them wore this silly smile, the one they had back when they were commenting everyone's moves through their personal chatbox on their computers.

* * *

Clarke had left the office at four to meet Raven. She had told Lexa she was going back home to Aden. Both girls went to the mall and, once they were done, Clarke asked Raven if she wanted to meet her son.

In Lexa's apartment, Clarke had thanked the nanny and went in Lexa's bedroom to wake her son up. She took him in her arms and, while slowly opening his eyes, he burried his face into his mother's neck.

She went back to the living room where Raven was shyly waiting. The young engineer could draw plans, fix things, go through tons of files about new technologies, but meeting her friend's son in her boss' apartment was something else.

''He just woke up.'' Clarke said, a tiny smile on the corner of her lips. She felt wrong most of the time, but her son often made her smile.

Lexa did too, but it was more complicated. With Aden, things were way more simple for Clarke. She never needed a reason to love him, she never thought of actually hating him since his birth.

Clarke stopped beside Raven. Aden had almost fallen back to sleep in his mother's soothing arms.

''His hair is so dark.'' Raven whispered, surprising herself with those words.

''He has his father's hair.'' Clarke couldn't help but say. She regretted it straight away. She didn't want to talk about Finn. Aden will never be like his father.

Raven didn't react to the mother's comment because she felt something was off about it. Clarke didn't seem proud, nor happy, not even angry. It was like she was trying to forget. Her dark-haired friend decided to let this go, containing her relief – Clarke knew who her son's father was, it wasn't a complete stranger, at least she would be able to do something if anything went wrong with her child.

''He's so cute !'' Raven's heart melted.

''You want to hold him ?'' Clarke barely asked, not waiting for an answer before carefully laying Aden into her friend's arms.

Raven wasn't used to holding babies, so she stiffened. She didn't want to hurt this little man ! She put a hand on the baby's upper back as Clarke told her. It was so heartwarming to carry someone as young and as small – as innocent – as a baby. Clarke's baby.

It took only a few seconds for Aden to realize he wasn't in his mother's arms anymore and cry. A stranger was holding him. First time it happened, Clarke had given him up to Lexa.

His mother took him back against her chest, kissing him on the forehead before laying a hand on the back of his neck. He laid his head on his mother's right shoulder and his cries faded away.

''I'm sorry,'' Raven apologized, ''I guess I can be a bit scary.''

''It's not your fault, he's not used to be held by strangers. He still refuses to eat with Lexa sometimes, but he's getting used to her. It's a bit complicated with his nanny too. I guess he needs some time. I've not really been mother of the year, so...''

Clarke looked down at her son. He was sucking his thumb, eyes closed.

''You're doing great.'' Raven stated. ''Better than I would do at least.''

Clarke kept looking at her son for a few seconds. She wished Raven was right. But Aden had almost died because of her, and he was sick, what kind of mother would do that to her son ? And there was this other fact, the 'unidentified' part. She could get in trouble for being in this country illegaly, and it would be okay, she wasn't as scared as before – before her son's birth. Now, she was scared of throwing him into the big dark world. She wanted him to have safety and happiness. She could not assure him that.

She talked a bit more with Raven and told her she had to get started. She had a meal to prepare. She thanked her friend, Raven making her promise to tell her how it went.

She put Aden into the high chair Lexa had recently bought to keep an eye on him while cooking.

Lexa had told her she'd be back at eight. Clarke fed Aden and put him to sleep before setting the table. She changed into clean clothes. Took a deep breath.

She was ready.

* * *

Lexa had only wanted to leave work earlier and go back to Clarke, but she had to catch up on the work she hadn't done every day she had left early to go keep an eye on her new friend.

She was tired but she was still going to make dinner for both Clarke and her, for the good reason that she liked spending time with Clarke and dinner was a good excuse.

She had no idea what was happening inside the apartment, so when she saw the usually-dark part of her living room illuminated by four candles on the table, her mouth dropped. She heard someone getting out of the kitchen a few steps behind her but she didn't move, frozen, a nice soon-to-melt frozen.

''Hey,'' she heard, ''dinner's ready, you just have to sit.''

Lexa managed to close her mouth and walk the couple steps which separated her from her chair. In the meantime, Clarke was laying two plates on each side of the table. It smelt so good Clarke swore she could see stars in Lexa's eyes. The blonde slightly smiled before heading back to the kitchen to get the rest.

Clarke tried not to shake when she poured wine into both glasses. She sat down. Lexa was looking at the food on the table.

''That's amazing...'' she said in a breath, eyes glowing, the candles' flames dancing into her eyes.

''You haven't tasted yet.'' Clarke noticed, smiling at Lexa's childish expression. The CEO didn't look like one right now. She was gorgeous. Clarke wished she had met this girl sooner instead of the fierce CEO. ''Come on, try it.'' Clarke insisted.

Lexa looked up at her, hesitantly grabbing her fork. She carefully planted it into the mashed potatoes in her plate. There was something else under it. It seemed to be meat with tiny orange pieces. Carrots ? She brought it to her mouth, the warmth of the food spreading into her body, and she had to keep herself from moaning because it tasted so _damn good_.

Lexa had never tasted anything like this before. She had only learnt to cook simple things. She took several bites, trying hard to _not_ grab the food with her hands and eat it entirely. She took a break at eating this _piece of paradise_ when she noticed Clarke's stare on her.

Her _friend_ was smiling. Clarke's pain was covered with a smile which made Lexa's hurt flutter.

''What is it ?'' Lexa asked about the food in her plate. _Even the mashed potatoes taste amazingly good_.

'' _Hachis parmentier_ ,'' Clarke answered, relieved Lexa liked it. ''mashed potatoes and minced beef, basically.''

She added some carrots for the taste, that's how her father made it.

''Oh, it's French.'' Lexa commented, suddenly feeling stupid about her own line.

''Yes,'' Clarke slowly answered, ''my father used to cook me some of his favorite french meals behind my mother's back.''

Lexa frowned. 'Behing her mother's back ?'

''Your mother didn't seem to like your father's nationality very much.'' she stated, hoping it wouldn't make her friend nervous. She didn't want Clarke to think that she was forcing her into telling her about her past.

But Clarke wanted to. At least, she wanted to try. She knew she wasn't going to say everything tonight because there wasn't enough time and, anyway, she hadn't planned this dinner to tell her about her past life. She wanted to tell her about now.

''My mother didn't want me to be too French. Or Australian, actually. She wanted to make it big in America since the beginning. Her plans just didn't include my father and I.''

Lexa nodded, sorry for the girl, but didn't ask for more informations.

They both finished their plate, barely speaking, enjoying the food and the atmosphere. It felt nice, being here with each other.

Once they were done, Clarke brought the empty plates back to the kitchen and grabbed the dessert she had made from the fridge.

When Lexa saw it, she was stunned. Were those...

''Crêpes ?'' She looked at it more closely without daring touching it and yelled in effervescence. ''Crêpes on a cake ?! How is that even possible ?''

Clarke smiled. Lexa really looked like a child, eyes widened in front of something brand new to her. She didn't answer, waiting for the brunette to try it. And when Lexa did, it was the best thing that ever happened to her in years.

''Oh my god !'' she exclaimed, hit by the wonderful marriage between forest fruits, cream, cake and crêpes. It was fresh, and surprisingly light. It didn't feel heavy, there wasn't too much sugar, just what was needed for it to be good. ''Does that even exist ?''

Clarke laughed. She had had the same reaction the first time her father had made this cake for her thirteen years ago. ''It's a Courchevel.''

''Hm, your dad too ?'' Lexa asked in between bites.

Clarke nodded. It was dessert, her last chance to speak about _it_. ''Look, Lexa, I wanted to talk to you about something.''

''Sure, wha-ever you wan-'' she replied, not even bothering to swallow the small piece of cake she was chewing.

Clarke's mouth suddenly went dry. She watched Lexa finish her plate, letting the brunette enjoy the dessert she liked so much. A memory from her father she had wanted to share with Lexa, and which didn't hurt. She felt like it was easier to share memories with Lexa, to talk about her father, but the brunette was also the only one who had managed to get Clarke to talk about this long gone man.

Lexa was now staring at her and Clarke didn't know if she could do it anymore. But she had to. _I have to_. No more hope. Just an answer. That's what she needed.

''Look, huh, you know how many times I told you I hated you and, huh...'' she had thought so much on the words she was going to use, why couldn't she just say it ?

''It's okay,'' Lexa filled this awkward silence, ''I told you I'm not mad at you. Thank you for this dinner. It was really good. It's been a very long time since... since someone has made me dinner.''

Clarke swallowed hard. Lexa's glance was focussed on her. The brunette was thankful. And there was so much care and caution. Lexa didn't want to mess everything up. Clarke didn't want that either. _Come on, you're not a coward aren't ya ?_ Clarke thought before speaking again.

''I didn't mean it. I needed you to hate me because I didn't know what would happen if you found out who I was, and then there was Aden, you had to keep him because I can't properly take care of him, and now I don't know what to think but I know that I don't hate you, I know that.'' _Dammit. Why don't I just get to the point ?!_

Lexa smiled. Clarke was trying to make things right between them, but they were already right. She reassured her once again. ''I know Clarke. I told you. You've got a friend in me.''

 _That's the point !_ Clarke yelled to herself. _I don't want to be your friend !_

''I'm glad you're my friend but...'' she started again. Some noise coming from the baby monitor on the coffee table. Clarke tried to ignore it. ''I don't really want us to be friends, well, actually I do, it's just that I –''

Cries burst out from the baby monitor and Clarke jumped off of her chair to get to the bedroom. It was bad cries, the out of breath ones, the painful ones, the ones Clarke hated to hear.

''It's okay Aden, it's okay, I've got you.'' She took him and gave him his medicine. Once he was starting to calm down, she went back to the living room.

Lexa had cleaned the table, and when she saw Clarke with her son in her arms, she asked if he was okay.

''He will be.'' she said, her voice breaking on her son's pain. She sat on the chair she was sitting on a few minutes ago, Aden against her chest.

''You seemed annoyed before you had to go help Aden. What's going on ?''

Clarke blushed and she tried to hide it by burying her face into her son's yet-so-small shoulder.

''No...no,'' she stammered. ''I'm fine don't worry. I'm glad you're my friend.''

Lexa gently smiled. ''I'm glad you're my friend too.''

And on these words, they both shivered, looking around to hide their feelings, not considering the fact that they were both hurting each other with this statement.

So many unidentified feelings were trying to reach the other ! Only Aden's shaky breath was filling the gap between the two women.

Hating each other had been easier, and it would still be easy if they hadn't been, in fact, in love with one another.

* * *

 **Okay I may be messing with you on that one xD Next chapter guys ! which I will be posting on thursday, so it won't be too long of a wait.**

 **Hope you still enjoyed it !**


	20. Chapter 20

It was even harder now for Clarke to work with Lexa. Her body was still aching, she needed time to fully recover and she felt like her feelings were crushing. She knew that if she didn't tell Lexa the truth real fast she'd probably explode.

She had lied for so long and even though the truth could be painful at least she'd know where she was. If all of this was just a dream, or if Lexa's apartment really was the place for her. At least she could clear things up with Lexa and stop her mind from expecting anything.

Now both women had put an end to their pointless war, Clarke was starting to know Lexa's best sides. She could see the brunette smile more often and enjoy their little talks which only made Clarke hope.

''So, did you tell her ?'' Raven asked, getting Clarke back to the ground.

Clarke sighed. Her stern look had probably already showed the truth and Raven only asked her this question to get the reason why she hadn't told Lexa. What could she tell Raven ? She was a coward, that was it. No good reason.

''I just... she loved the meal, and I was going to tell her, but – but she told me she was my friend and – and Aden had an asthma attack and I couldn't tell her – alright ?''

Raven looked at her with compassion. She had met Lexa a few times and she knew how impressive the CEO could be.

''Clarke... you can't just walk around her with your feelings unanswered. You're only hurting yourself right now. You have to tell her.''

''I know ! But... I'm just so scared of what she'll say, of how she'll see me once it's out. I may have tried to kiss her long ago, apparently a couple times, and she pushed me away both times. I don't want her to think that because I'm attracted to her I'm gonna jump on her at any moment.''

Raven kept herself from laughing at this. She almost felt surprised when Clarke told her she had tried to kiss their boss, but seeing how badly she had been dealing with her issues, she had probably tried to kiss Lexa when she was out of her mind.

''Look, Clarke. One year. How many times will I have to say that ? You've been walking around each other for a bit more than a year. And don't even tell me about Lexa pushing you away again because there's no way your feelings aren't requited.''

Clarke looked up at Raven, trying to believe her friend's words to give her courage. But how will she tell Lexa now ? She already made the meal thing, she had to find something else.

''I don't know – I don't know what to do. I don't understand my feelings, what if I'm mistaken about myself ?''

It was Raven's turn to sigh. How come her friend and her boss were so dumb ? When it came to each other, they kept hesitating. Raven stood up, walking around her desk to grab Clarke's arm and get her to stand up.

''Okay Richards, now you get the hell out of my office and go back to yours, which happens to be our boss'. Once you're up there, you tell Lexa the truth. No 'friend' shit. You love her, she obviously loves you too, go be happy.''

''But –'' Raven's door closed and Clarke found herself alone in the corridor.

It seemed like this door wasn't going to open to her again until she did what her friend told her to do.

* * *

She was sitting back at her desk, Lexa focussed on her computer screen.

Should she disturb Lexa in her work to tell her about those feelings ?

She opened her mouth to speak but closed it. Lexa was frowning at her screen.

''They're here.'' Lexa said, sighing deeply.

''Who ?'' Clarke asked, taken by surprise by Lexa's glance looking up at her.

''Azgeda. They arrived. The meeting is in an hour. You're not coming.''

Clarke's eyes widened at the news. ''What ? Why ?''

''If Azgeda sees you with me too often, they'll start doubting the reason of your presence here. They can't figure it out. You'll stay in the office. Nia will probably want to talk with me here after the meeting, then I'll need you more.''

Clarke nodded, feeling disappointed. She was not going to tell Lexa how she felt about her right now because Lexa was busy getting ready for the meeting. And tonight, she'll probably be pissed about the meeting with Nia and ignore Clarke to avoid showing her she could be pissed by someone as terrible as Nia Blanquet. _Huh. Bury me_.

She looked back at her screen, trying to focus on her own work while Lexa was opening some yellow file surely connected to today's important meeting.

* * *

Clarke was alone in Lexa's office, working at her desk. She couldn't keep her heart from beating fast. Thinking of Lexa kept her from thinking about everything else, good and wrong things, but it also hurt her. She couldn't keep her feelings – another secret – to herself, she had to say it, but what if she was condemned to be Lexa's friend forever ? Could she stand staying with the only person she felt safe and sound with _as a friend_ ?

She already had a good friend, Raven, and other nice guys she could consider friends too, her former colleagues, but they hadn't fought for her like Lexa did and was still doing.

The doors abruptly opened and Lexa came into the office, followed by Nia and the same adviser who was with her the last time Clarke had met the bitter woman.

Clarke received a discrete caution glance from Lexa and a quite despising one from the two guests.

They sat down, Clarke staying where she was – at her desk. The young translator felt Nia's eyes quickly examining her. She then heard Nia say to her adviser.

''C'est la fille en cloque de la dernière fois.'' _She's that pregnant girl we saw last time._

Lexa sent a reassuring look to Clarke and the blonde promised with one glance that she wasn't going to react. Nia couldn't know Clarke understood every french word she said.

Nia focussed on Lexa again after mocking Clarke with her adviser and they started talking about business. Lexa remained stoic. Clarke calmy tapped on her keyboard every information that could come in handy, everything that Nia said in french or odd expressions literally translated from french to english that were consequently hard to get for Lexa.

''You really remind me of your father,'' Nia cut Lexa off in the middle of their conversation. She turned to her adviser and added, ''même s'il était un peu moins con.'' _Even though he was less of a plonker._

Clarke had to try hard not to react to this. She didn't really know what she'd do if she could react : get angry at this woman who disrepected the one she loved ? _The one I love ? Huh, not really, huh, not like that_ , she lost herself in her own slip-up before getting back to reality.

Lexa didn't react to this comment which meaning she could guess. She knew Nia never said nice things about anyone but herself, so she kept looking at her and got back to what she was saying but Nia interrupted her.

Or maybe Clarke would've laughed, if she could've reacted. She knew the foolish side of Lexa and loved it, it was probably the part that made her fall in love with Lexa because it reassured her. With Lexa's bad jokes and puns, Clarke's world seemed brighter. And that gave Clarke hope.

She stared at Lexa for a while, thinking of all the reasons why she desperately wanted – and needed – to stay with the brunette.

Nia was barely looking at Lexa. She'd rather describe the room to show how not interested she was in Lexa's explanation. That is how she saw Clarke staring at Lexa with admiration and desire. She interrupted Lexa once again.

''You should feed your pet more often, it's drooling all over your office.''

Lexa frowned and followed the other despisable CEO's stare to find Clarke looking at her, but this time with a confused look on her face. None of them answered. Gladly, Nia didn't get to speak again because Lexa's desk phone rang. She got up, holding a sigh, and walked toward the doors.

''I'll be right back.''

As soon as Lexa left the office, Clarke saw a smirk appearing on Nia's face. Clarke stiffened, frozen by Nia's behavior. How could someone do no more than smiling and be so creepy ?

''Tu l'as bien mis ?'' _Did you properly put it ?_ she asked her adviser, her voice lower than before, but still not whispering. It's not like someone could understand her anyway.

''Oui. C'est une jolie voiture.'' _Yes. It's a nice car._

Her adviser was grinning too. Clarke's eyes widened, her heart jumping hard in her chest. _Don't tell me they're talking about..._

''Cette fille est si naïve. Heureusement, le monde sera débarrassé d'elle dans quelques minutes.'' Nia added. _This girl is so naive. Gladly, the world will be rid of her in a few minutes._

 _Hell no._ Clarke's brain turned off and on. _What the fuck !_ She tried to focus on a way to deal with this. She had to find Lexa, right now. If the brunette's car was a trap, Clarke better get to the parking lot right now to make sure Lexa wouldn't touch it. But she needed a good reason to leave the room without being busted.

She thought for half a minute and found an idea. So obvious. She grabbed her phone which was in silence mode, something common in an office – personal phones had to be silent. She slipped her finger on it and, standing up, said ''Is something wrong with him ? – Crying ? – Put him on the phone !'' She was walking toward the exit while talking, both Nia and her adviser looking at her with curiosity. ''Hey honey ! Stop crying baby, listen to your nanny ! Yes it's mommy, ssshhh, calm down sweetheart...'' she stopped in the corridor, warning Lexa's actual assistant that Nia Blanquet was still in Lexa's office.

The assistant got up and took Clarke's place at the blonde's desk to replace her while she was gone. Clarke had said she had to check on something really important and her worried look had been enough to convince the woman to take her place in Lexa's office.

Clarke used Lexa's personal elevator to go faster. Apart from Lexa, she was the only one who could use it. To do so, you had to know about it _and_ have the access code.

She got to the parking lot in about two minutes and walked as fast as she could, avoiding other cars, looking for Lexa's usual parking spot. From afar, she saw Lexa approaching her car.

 _No._ She started running. Gladly, no car was driving through this part of the parking lot because it was an area where only specific employees could park their cars. Obviously, the boss was one of them.

''LEXA !'' she shouted.

The brunette looked behind her, shooting Clarke an interrogating look. But Lexa wasn't stopping, she was just walking slowlier. She was almost there. Clarke ran faster, her legs and lungs crying for rest. Lexa was about to grab one of the car's handles when Clarke decided to jump over the last four meters that separated her from Lexa.

They both fell on the ground without even brushing against the car. Lexa moaned in pain. Clarke had fallen on her. The blonde got off of her, out of breath, and pulled her by the arms to get her to sit against the wall, away from the car.

''What the hell, Clarke ?!'' Lexa asked, obviously angry.

Clarke was breathing fast. She was unable to answer for now, so Lexa added :

''I have something important to do which is not Azgeda related. I told you to wait in my office, don't tell me you left them alone in there.''

Lexa's cold glance was way less scary than this whole situation. Clarke was breathing more easily now and she said ''Your assistant is with them. Lexa, your car, I heard them, it's – huh'' Clarke carefully approached the vehicle on her knees and looked under it. She saw it. Showed Lexa.

The brunette, her face darkening, looked up at the nearest security camera and sighed. The red twinkling point wasn't on. ''CCTV is off. They set me up.''

Clarke's heart was beating so fast she wondered how Lexa could stay so calm. The latter pulled her up before she could say anything and told her to follow her.

They went back to the elevator and stopped at Floor Two. Lexa grabbed Clarke's arm again and pulled her through the empty corridors to a private storage room. There was no one here. This side of the floor was... lifeless.

The door closed and Lexa finally let go of Clarke's arm. She went toward an old table and leaned against it. ''Explain.'' she coldly ordered. She wasn't mad at Clarke, far from it, she was containing her emotions. Remaining calm was her way of dealing with things.

Clarke told her how she knew about this. Arms crossed, Lexa took in each information. She thought for a moment, Clarke trying to understand Lexa's calm behaviour, before going to the door and lock it.

''What are you doing ?'' Clarke asked, far from understanding anything anymore.

Lexa turned toward her and answered ''We're staying here.''

''But why ? What the hell Lexa ?!''

That's when Lexa said it. ''My car is still gonna explode. We let Nia make her move and come back up there tomorrow.''

Clarke thought she had heard wrong. ''Tomorrow ? What if someone find us here ? Or even better : what if someone find you here with me ? You know my reputation, they'll think –''

''They won't find us. Trust me. I know this building better than I know my name. We're safe here. There's some snacks and a small bathroom. It was an office before it became a storage room.''

Clarke blinked a couple times, trying to process all the new facts. ''But – but what about Aden ?''

''You have your phone, warn his nanny. I can't use mine. They'll probably check my last calls to see if I was in that car or not.''

Clarke looked away, grabbed her phone and called Aden's nanny. The old woman accepted to keep Aden for the night only after Clarke told her she could take him to her place. It was probably safer for her son to be away from Lexa's apartment after the brunette's fake death. Theoritically, they'd be back to light before the police would go through her stuff, but Clarke wasn't going to bet on a theory when it came to her son.

She laughed. Lexa was leaning back against that table and Clarke was desperately laughing. The blonde turned her phone off because she didn't have her phone charger and she had to be able to use it in case of emergency.

Her laugh faded away. Emergency ? This whole thing was crazy !

''Someone just tried to kill you. How can you be so calm ?'' she asked, looking up at Lexa.

The brunette shrugged. ''This job is far from easy. I'm Lexa Woods, attempts of murder on me aren't very surprising, especially when Nia Blanquet is the perpetrator.''

Was Clarke supposed to be reassured ? Because she was not. Not at all. Actually, she felt even worse now. ''Stop saying your goddamn name !'' she yelled, glad there was no one around this room because otherwise they would've been busted because of her. ''You could've died !''

''But I didn't, you saved me.'' Lexa calmly replied, looking straight at Clarke in a way that made the blonde shiver.

''This is insane ! You're insane ! You – you just play with your life as if it didn't matter !'' Clarke hissed.

Lexa didn't move. She didn't even frown. She was just leaning against that table, arms crossed, staring at Clarke. ''If I die you and Aden will still be safe. I made sure of that.''

Clarke was getting crazy. _It's not about me and Aden !_ ''You can't die Lexa !''

Lexa's eyes darkened from Clarke's harsh tone. ''I'll die someday, Clarke. That is a fact. If I had died today, everything would've been okay for both of us. I would've been gone and you safe with your son.''

 _She thinks dying is a good thing ?! The fuck is wrong with her !_ ''I would've not been okay ! You better be more careful with your life because you're not dying today, or any day before you're as old as your company !''

That's it. Lexa was angry at Clarke now. She had done everything she could for Clarke and it still wasn't enough. ''Then tell me Clarke,'' she gritted, ''what if I died right now and you got everything you wanted ? Safety, money, peace...''

''I WOULDN'T HAVE YOU !'' Clarke broke, her hands shaking, teary eyes looking away in shame as she admitted ''I love you.''

Lexa felt like she was falling. Her eyes wide, she was trying to calm her running heart from leaving her body. Did Clarke just tell her she loved her ? No way. Clarke had pushed her away. So many times. Clarke had said they were friends. How could...

Lexa heard the door unlock and went straight toward it to grab Clarke's wrist and lock back the door. She saw Clarke's tear rolling down the girl's cheek and swipped it with her thumb, her hand not leaving the cheek once it was done. Lexa's eyes lost themselves into Clarke's.

Clarke loved her. It was impossible, yet it was true. Did that even make sense ? It didn't matter right now, because Lexa leaned to get Clarke's lips with her own, but she didn't even have time to brush them before Clarke pulled her away.

Lexa looked at her, more confused than ever. Clarke said she loved her and now she's pushing her away ?

''You can't – you don't understand Lexa,'' Clarke tried to explain. ''if you do this, I'll – I will, huh, I won't forget it. You can't just kiss me and go like you do with the others, I – I was serious. You can't let me hope, I won't stop thinking about – I'm in love with you, Lexa.'' She was struggling to say those few words. Her chest felt so heavy she didn't even know how she was still standing. ''I tried to tell you when...''

''Dinner.'' Lexa whispered. How could she not see that ? Clarke had cooked a French meal after refusing to open up about her past for a year. And the candles. Not for friends. Or were they ? Not in this situation. _Stop thinking so much, just tell her_. And she did. ''You reminding me of myself wasn't the only reason for me running after you all this time. I, well, I loved Clarke Richards and I love Clarke Griffin even more.''

They were both blushing in this barely lighted storage room. They felt like they were seeing each other for the first time after being blind for so long. Lexa carefully grabbed Clarke's shaky hand. This time, Clarke barely stiffened and didn't step back. Not even when Lexa stepped forward, their eyes locked. Not even when the brunette surrounded Clarke's waist with her free arm to keep her standing. Definitely not when Lexa leaned, their lips slowly making contact with one another as if it was the first time for both of them. First kiss ever.

Their lips started to move against one another, not ready to be set apart, but the lack of oxygen forced both women to separate.

They connected their foreheads, not willing to fully lose contact, and both smiled when they realized what had just happened.

''I'm never letting you go, Clarke Griffin.'' Lexa whispered.

And this sole sentence was enough to turn Clarke's life upside down, because it wasn't just about safety or money, not just about surviving. It was about living with this amazing woman her heart wanted so bad, the woman who shared her feelings.

To Clarke, it wasn't just hope which kept her going, but the possibility of wonderful happiness that requited love had just offered her.

* * *

 **Finally !**

 **In this absolutely insane situation, they admitted their feelings for each other !**

 **Just so you know, neither Lexa nor Clarke (nor Aden !) will die in this story. Nia is a crazy bitch (just as in the show, actually) and she won't bother Lexa for long.**

 **See you next weekend !**


	21. Chapter 21

Clarke was in the bathroom. As Lexa had said, it was small, but big enough for Clarke to hide. She had started to feel bad twenty minutes ago and had told Lexa she needed to use the toilets, which was partly true, but she also wanted to keep her sorrow to herself. It regularly occurred. She would be fine and then this feeling of great emptiness appeared before she was crushed by guilt and anxiety. She would just sit in a quiet quoin, waiting for it to calm down, crying as calmly as possible for no one to notice.

But she was stuck in a private room with Lexa and the brunette soon started to worry about her. Clarke was supposedly using the bathroom for a bit more than twenty minutes and no noise was coming out of the small room.

Lexa slowly walked to listen at the door and heard sobs. ''Clarke ?'' she called. She knew there wasn't any lock on the door, there was never any need for one, so she carefully pushed the handle down, warning Clarke of her coming in.

She saw the blonde sitting on the floor, leaning against the bathtub. She got down on her knees and tried to lay her hand on Clarke's, but the latter pulled her hand back.

''Clarke –''

''Don't. I need to ask you something.''

Lexa frowned in confusion and Clarke stood up, waiting for Lexa to get back to her feet and leave the room because there wasn't enough room for her to walk around Lexa and get out of here.

She wiped the tears off of her face and followed Lexa into the main room.

''What's going on ?'' Lexa asked, worry ringing through her voice.

Clarke sat down against the wall, feeling tired, and Lexa sat a couple feet away from her, thinking she was the reason Clarke had been crying.

''It's not about you,'' Clarke said, ''I don't cry because of you. I just feel sad sometimes, I'm human.'' she nervously chuckled before getting back to what troubled her. ''What would happen to Aden if you died ? You said he'd be safe, what do you mean ?''

Lexa looked away, knowing her answer will not please Clarke. ''I may have put money aside on an account only you could have access to because a password is needed to access it.''

''A password ? Lexa, I couldn't take money from a dead reknown CEO.''

''Under Aden's mattress, something only you could understand.'' She swallowed hard and finally looked back at Clarke. ''Look, I told you I have way too much money for myself. You need to take care of Aden, including you too, and no one will know about it. The day I die, you'll get enough money to go wherever you want to and settle there.''

 _Without any ID, huh ? Guess I'd get that cabin in the woods_ , Clarke sarcastically thought.

''Clarke, you'll be fine no matter what happens. But just so you know, I don't intend on dying anytime soon. You saved me today, and tomorrow I'll take Nia down for good.''

Clarke looked down, hoping Lexa was right. She couldn't lose her. Lexa was literally everything to her now, Clarke would never recover from losing her. And she couldn't do that to Aden.

''You should get some sleep, Clarke. We'll be back home soon.''

Clarke didn't know what Lexa's plan was and she wasn't sure she wanted to know either. She felt like she was going to worry too much if Lexa explained everything. They had heard Lexa's car explode as they had been in this former office for two hours and now they had to wait until tomorrow. Lexa wanted to let Nia make her move to crush her more easily. Clarke had to trust Lexa on this. She was obviously nervous, but also relieved by the fact that she had told Lexa the truth about how she felt about her and Lexa apparently felt the same way.

Clarke was still realizing it. She took off her jacket and made a pillow out of it. She saw Lexa still sitting against the wall and asked ''Aren't you going to sleep ?''

Lexa slightly smiled. ''Maybe later.''

Clarke wanted to continue this conversation but another fact came into her mind as she remembered the sound of Lexa's car exploding. ''You don't think people died, do you ?''

Lexa took a few seconds to answer but there was no hesitation in her eyes or voice. ''No.'' She looked at Clarke with more attention to the young woman and noticed Clarke's uncovered arms were slightly shaking.

She moved forward, took her jacket off and cautiously grabbed Clarke's hand to pull her into her embrace. Clarke let Lexa hold her and the brunette leaned back, laying her head onto Clarke's makeshift pillow. She then laid her jacket onto Clarke whose head was onto Lexa's right shoulder.

Clarke surrounded Lexa's waist with her right arm, laying her hand onto Lexa's naked forearm to keep it warm.

''Sleep a bit,'' Lexa whispered in the blonde's ear, ''then we'll eat, snacks here should still be good.''

Clarke wasn't hungry at all and she doubted she'd be later but she felt so well against Lexa that she didn't want to ruin the moment by saying she didn't want to eat anything.

For now, she closed her eyes, listening to Lexa's breathing, smelling the brunette's nice flagrance, protected by two strong arms around her. But those arms weren't going to hurt her.

* * *

''Clarke, wake up,'' Lexa's soft voice brought the sleeping blonde back to reality.

''Hm... what have I done...'' Clarke mumbled, and Lexa smiled at the girl's uneasy awakening.

She gave her time to wake up. Once Clarke was finally sitting, eyes opened, Lexa told her ''It's morning. I have to go, but you need to stay in here a bit longer, you'll be safer. I can't have the police ask for your name or even ID.''

Clarke looked at her confusedly. Lexa stood up, Clarke no more lying on her, and headed for the door.

''I put some of the snacks on the table over there. Eat, and don't come out before noon.'' She left before Clarke could say anything.

What was going on ? She had just woken up and still felt tired, though she had apparently slept for way more than ten hours. She knew her long sleep was linked to sleeping in Lexa's arms. But now, was she really going to wait in here ? Lexa was right on the fact that the police couldn't meet her yet. But what about Lexa ? Was she gonna be okay ?

The CEO seemed to know what she was doing, but she hadn't told Clarke about her plan, and the blonde girl really hoped it was going to be okay.

She felt her stomach complain and decided to look at the snacks. She saw a dozen of chocolate bars and grabbed all of them, suddenly feeling excited. _Oh my god best day ever._ She sat on the floor and started eating. It wasn't a meal, but at least it was something really good.

After eating every bar, she decided to take a nap. Her jacket was still rolled up on the floor and Lexa had left her her own. _She left it for me._ Clarke was still processing the fact that she had slept against Lexa not so long after they had kissed. _She kissed me._

And it had been so nice. Lexa's lips had been soft on hers, gentle, but Clarke could feel the passion in a brush of the brunette's lips against hers. Lexa wasn't lying about her feelings, or she was a damn good actress.

Still, Clarke knew they'd have to talk about it once the 'Azgeda' issue would be solved.

She fell asleep thinking about how she wanted to kiss Lexa again, because it occurred that it only felt good with her. She had thought it was fine with Lucy, because she hadn't felt like she had to do it, but Lucy had betrayed her and she was still scared of making new mistakes.

* * *

It was the middle of the afternoon. Clarke was crossing the floor, walking toward the elevator where so many people, at this time of the day, were walking in and out. Waiting for the metallic box to come back, she heard a voice she didn't like. At all.

''Look at that, here again ! You must've did our boss good to get your job back.'' Zeke said, humiliating her in front of a couple of other people also waiting for the elevator.

Clarke didn't answer. She didn't even look at him. _Just ignore him._ But he went on, getting closer to whisper in her ear ''I can't believe the boss and I have been in the same little place.''

It was enough for Clarke who turned toward him and punched him hard, getting him to step back before jumping on him, sending her fists in his face as he was lying on the floor under her.

She was mad, disgusted, ashamed, and she couldn't stop. When two men took her away from him, Zeke was half unconscious on the floor, his face covered with bruises, cuts, and blood.

Clarke was trying to free herself from the men's hold, kicking the air with both her feet, yelling at Zeke. ''You asshole !''

She was dragged into the elevator, which arrived too late for Clarke to avoid meeting Zeke, and found herself back into Lexa's office like so many times before.

Clarke was out of her mind, she didn't realize Lexa was safe and there was no one else in her office. No one from Azgeda Corp., no one from the police.

''She was beating up another employee on Floor Two.'' one of the men said.

Clarke had her head down, breathing heavily, trying to regain her composure. But tears had been blinding her for minutes.

''Leave us.'' Lexa ordered.

The men left, hoping to be rewarded later for bringing Clarke in. It was always the same story about them.

Clarke let herself fall on her knees, disgusted at the idea of everyone defending Zeke after what he had done to her. Something Clarke couldn't deny because she did have sex with him for money.

''Clarke,'' Lexa called her calmly once both doors were closed. She sat next to the crying girl and spoke again. ''will you tell me what happened ?''

Clarke brought her hand to her own face, wiping the tears off of it, knowing she owed an explanation to Lexa. No more lying. That was what pushed her to say ''The parking lot. He's the one who – I couldn't get Aden what he needed and I – but he locked me up in his car and his friend he – I just couldn't bear him talking to me like that.''

It wasn't very clear, but clear enough for Lexa to understand why Clarke had beaten this guy up. Lexa knew she would've probably done the same, but it wasn't the proper way of solving this problem. She took Clarke's hand in her own, gently caressing the back of it with her thumb.

''Clarke, violence only brings you trouble. You should've talked to me and this man would've been no more earlier.''

Clarke's head was still down, her jaw clenched under sorrow's pressure. ''He thinks the only reason I'm back is because I sold myself to you.'' she whispered, her voice broken.

''Well, you did cook me dinner, which is obviously the only reason why I haven't fired you yet.'' Lexa teased, getting Clarke to chuckle.

But the latter was still sad, for a quite good reason, so Lexa brought Clarke against her.

''You're doing a great job here, Clarke. If you weren't here, I would've died yesterday.'' She whispered in the blonde's ear, soothing her by caressing her back with her hand. ''You reacted brilliantly,'' she added, feeling Clarke's breathing slowly steadying, ''you didn't panic and found a way out of my office without raising any suspicion. Well done.''

An important question lighted a fire in Clarke's head and the young mother rose her head, finding Lexa's eyes, to ask ''What about Nia ?''

Lexa smiled. She may have approached death, but she had had just what she needed to take Nia down. ''She wanted power, she lost everything. Her company's entirely mine now, and my lawyers will get her to prison for attempt of murder.''

Clarke frowned. ''You bought her company ?''

Lexa's smile widened even more ''Yup. I'd been waiting to do this for so long !'' she let out a breath of relief. No more Nia. No more Azgeda trying to knock her down.

''In a few hours. You did all of this in a few hours.'' Clarke couldn't believe it. Did all of this happen while she was sleeping in that former office ?

''It's not that easy. But as I said, I had planned on taking her down for long. She had to make a mistake someday, and she just did.''

Clarke nodded. The previous day had been insane and today unbelievable. But Lexa's arms were around her and she felt so much better this way she wanted to stay forever.

 _The kiss_. Was it the right time to talk about it ? They had to anyway. Clarke needed to know what was going to happen now.

''Lexa, about yesterday...'' she started, and Lexa already knew what it was all about because she wanted to talk about it too.

''I really meant it,'' the brunette said, ''and if you agree, I'd like to take you on a date. I mean, we can do this at home if you don't want to get too much attention on you right now.''

Clarke frowned again. This day was definitely unbelievable. ''You sure ?''

Lexa nodded. They had lost enough time for hesitation. Lexa had thought she would never date again, but then Clarke appeared in her life and she didn't want to lose her again, not after all the times she had. ''I've had way enough time to think about it. I know we currently live together, but I still wanna make you dinner and we can watch a movie, so we could spend an evening without anyone trying to harm us.''

Clarke slightly smiled. She couldn't say she wasn't scared of spending an evening with Lexa as she kept embarrassing herself

Lexa saw Clarke's hesitation because she added ''Nothing has to happen on that date. I'd just like to have a normal conversation without anything to hold us back. There's always someone to interrupt us or to set us apart so...''

''I'd like that.'' Clarke simply said.

Because it was true, Clarke really wanted to go on a date with Lexa, even if this date took place at Lexa's apartment. Actually, it would probably be easier for Clarke if they stayed somewhere she knew was safe.

* * *

Clarke was nervously waiting for Lexa to come home. She was sitting on the couch with Aden on her knees. She had missed her son and was glad to see he was fine.

Lexa had told her she'd be back an hour later. It was safer for both of them to not be seen together as Lexa's latest murder attempt had gone public and medias had been waiting for Lexa to come out of the skyscraper the whole day.

Clarke wondered how Lexa had managed to make her comeback. She wasn't sure a 'Hey I'm not dead !' had been the thing, but Lexa was clever, she had many tricks in her pocket and had apparently waited for the occasion to take Nia down to come.

The main door unlocked and Clarke stood up, unintentionally waking Aden up.

Lexa found an anxious Clarke in the middle of her living room. ''Are you okay ?'' she asked the blonde.

Clarke didn't know. ''Now that you've got the upperhand on Azgeda Corp., you don't need me to translate their –''

''You had plenty of other things to work on before and you still do now. Don't worry, your job is safe. By the way, I raised your salary. I know you like being independent so you'll be able to buy what you need for yourself.''

Clarke was confused. Did she just got a salary raise for understanding and speaking french ?

''Lexa, are you raising my salary because of what I told you in the storage room ? Because otherwise I don't see how I could possibly deserve this.''

The brunette took off her coat and shoes and approached C larke, saluting Aden by shaking his little hand. Clarke almost stepped back. Lexa was too close for her to shut down her feelings. She would whether run away or lean to kiss the brunette, but it was too soon to tell if she could.

Gladly, Lexa talked before Clarke had to do anything.

''You don't just translate. You interprete, analyze. Your job is way more important than you think it is. And...'' she slightly leaned forward to add, whispering ''Do I have to remind you that you saved my life which occurs to be the boss' life ?''

She had this flirtatious, self-confident, proud smile that confused Clarke even more.

 _Is she flattering herself ?_ Clarke thought, not so sure about how to understand Lexa's words. She pouted, and Lexa's smile grew bigger.

''Your ego's bigger than my belly was right before I gave birth.''

Lexa smirked at Clarke's comment.

The young mother was hardly believing that Lexa Woods had asked her on a date. She didn't think she was ready for dating anyone, but Clarke had dragged those feelings of hers for too long. She had accepted them and now it was time to see how they would unfold.

* * *

 **Hi, I couldn't post last saturday, but I'll keep posting at least two chapters a week. Anyway, next chapter will be out on saturday !**


	22. Chapter 22

**Hey guys !**

 **I've decided to post chapter 22 today and chapter 23 on saturday because I really like the latter ! For now, enjoy this one :)**

* * *

Raven was staring at Clarke, eyes wide, her mouth opened in shock.

''Woods asked you on a date ?! No way !''

Clarke bit her lip, feeling even more nervous about the date coming tonight.

''It's not a big deal. It's gonna be at her place. If we're seen out together people will assume that we're dating and try to find out about me.''

Raven grinned and her friend knew she wasn't going to comfort her.

''Our boss is not reknown for dating. She's so into you !''

Clarke felt her cheeks warm up, feeling a hopeful bolt striking her. She wasn't used to be loved by anyone, and she found it actually weird that someone like Lexa Woods could have feelings for her. But they still needed to talk about many things, that's why Clarke was waiting for this date to come before running to any conclusion.

She didn't know what to expect, though, and that stressed her out. She hadn't really dated anyone for a very long time and had no idea of what to do to not screw things up.

''Look at yourself.'' Raven smirked. ''I don't know what's been going on with you this whole time but it's a torture seeing both of you walking around each other without doing anything.''

This comment only made Clarke even more uncomfortable. ''Can you stop saying this, you keep asking me everytime I see you how sexy I think Lexa is.''

Raven laughed. She did love to mess with Clarke about this. After all, it wasn't common for someone's boss to be in love with your colleague, especially when your boss is Lexa Woods, the woman with the golden VIP card on her forehead, and your colleague a friend you met at the bottom of this company's scale.

''But you do think she's sexy.'' she pointed out, knowing this comment was absolutely useless.

''I never said that ! And you think yourself she is !'' she replied, her cheeks so red Raven wanted to take a picture of her friend's face.

''A straight colleague of mine admitted of sleeping with the boss a year and a half ago. And she didn't even want anything out of it ! I mean, apart from pleasure...'' Raven explained.

Clarke frowned. She thought the 'turning straight girl into gay mess' for a moment was only a myth, but apparently Lexa really had this power. Lexa really wasn't a common person. She seemed to always get what she wanted. Or what she wanted just came to her, for what Clarke knew.

''I don't understand.'' she whispered, stuck in her thoughts.

Raven raised a brow. She hadn't expected this kind of reaction from her friend. She was about to ask Clarke was she was talking about but the blonde spoke first, lifting her head to look at her.

Clarke seemed troubled.

''Why me ?'' she asked. ''Lexa said she loved me, but I don't get how she could. I kept messing with her. She saw me with ragged clothes, dirty, stinking, throwing up in practically every room from here to her apartment. She even learnt about what I did in her building's storage rooms with Zeke, how can she...'' she swallowed hard, a veil of pain brushing her face before disappearing, living emptiness on the girl's face. _How could anyone love someone like me._

She didn't say it because she'd have to explain everything to Raven. Who she was, how she got here. What she had done to bring Lexa to hate her.

''You're great, Clarke.'' Raven reassured her. ''Ask her on your date, if it bothers you so much.''

She got up, walked around her desk and grabbed Clarke by the arm, forcing her to stand up.

''Come on,'' she said, ''I'm sure Woods misses staring at you while you work.''

''What ? She doesn't !'' Clarke yelled while Raven was dragging her out of her office.

''We both know she does.'' Raven winked and was about to close the door, leaving Clarke alone in the corridor, when the blonde asked ''Why do you keep kicking me out ?''

Raven laughed and shot a glance at the angle of the ceiling before coming back at Clarke with a smirk. ''I just like seeing the face you make when I kick you out.''

''What ?'' the door shut and Clarke followed Raven's previous glance to see a security camera. Raven was probably laughing in her office. ''Fear the day I'll get my revenge, Reyes.'' she said loud enough for her friend to hear her.

She walked back to Lexa's office. ''Hey,'' she said to the brunette before going to sit at her desk.

''How was your break ?'' Lexa asked, glad she had an excuse to take her eyes off of her screen. In her mind, Clarke excused everything about work. But she still had to stay focus as much as possible.

''It went well. I was with Raven. No jerk around. Except her, I mean.''

Lexa smiled, happy to see Clarke was doing fine. She wasn't going to let any of her employees do Clarke wrong. Thinking of this, Lexa announced ''Zeke Marshall, the one who took advantage of you, is no longer here. He won't find another job in this town, if not, hardly, in this country.''

Clarke stiffened when she heard this name. She didn't say anything. She had wanted to do much more to Zeke than get him out of here. But she knew it would only bring her trouble. Lexa had done well, and she'll thank her when anger would stop clenching her jaws.

''Oh, I wanted to ask you,'' Lexa added, seeing Clarke uncomfortable, ''is it still okay for tonight ?''

Clarke raised her head. Lexa was talking about their date. It was still okay, even though she was stressed out. She didn't know what to expect from it, even less how to act.

''Yes, of course.'' she answered positively. She opened a file laying on a desk, trying to read the first page, but she couldn't focus, and even if she didn't feel right about asking, she still did. ''Lexa, when you say tonight's gonna be a date, what do you mean ?''

Lexa raised her head, surprised by this question. Didn't Clarke know what a date was ? Or maybe both of them had forgotten. Going on a date at your own place when you already lived together seemed useless or dumb, but Lexa wanted to consider it a date. It wasn't just dinner with Clarke, it was Clarke accepting to go on a date with her, and that made her feel like a teenage girl.

They also needed to talk about many things, and last time Clarke had tried to tell her something important and Aden had interrupted his mother. If Lexa liked Aden – more than she expected – she wanted to hang out with Clarke, learn more about her. Have a normal evening, for once.

''I mean I'm gonna make you dinner and then we'll watch whatever movie or show you want.'' she simply replied, still nervous about what reaction she might get from Clarke with this answer.

Clarke looked at her, not showing any emotion. The young mother didn't know what to feel. She was trying hard enough to contain her anxiety. She had been crying less and less recently but sometimes pain would come back and tear her apart. Lexa had seen Clarke's efforts and was glad her friend was doing better.

After having stared at each other for a while, they both got back to what they were trying to work on in the first place.

* * *

Clarke had come home earlier than Lexa because the brunette had a late meeting, so she had decided to take a nap. She woke up to find a beautifully set table in the living room. Candles were lighting the room. Only candles. Maybe too many ? Clarke smiled. The atmosphere was warm and voluptuous.

She noticed she was wearing sort of a pajama when Lexa came out of the kitchen. She brought one hand to her other arm. She had been so tired earlier she hadn't even thought about wearing proper clothes. What was she even wearing ? Was it even hers ? Lexa couldn't see her like this ! It was supposed to be _a date_!

''You look great !'' Lexa teased her.

Clarke looked away, trying hard not to brush. Lexa looked amazing and she hadn't even changed clothes. If she had, she would've woke Clarke up before she could've made dinner.

''I'm gonna change.'' Clarke said, trying hard not to blush, turning back to the room she had come out of.

''No,'' Lexa stopped her, ''don't. I was just kidding. I have a terrible sense of humor, remember ?''

Clarke turned toward her again, frowning in confusion. Lexa asked her to join her and went back into the kitchen to get the plates.

Once they were both sitting, their hearts started beating faster at the idea of _it_ being a date.

''So,'' Lexa started shyly, ''I'm sorry it's just basic cooking. I never really learned to cook. I tried to make a cake like yours but... hm... it burned. I still made _crêpes_ though. They look like pancakes but it's not so different, right ?''

Clarke bit her lip not to laugh at the awkward version of Lexa Woods. _She's so fucking cute_. She didn't care that her plate was salmon and curried rice – a combination which she wasn't used to eat at all. She tasted it and went back into her past, before her life was messed up by poverty and vagrancy.

''It's rally goad !'' she said, food still inside of her mouth.

She brought her hand to her mouth, cursing herself for not showing any good manner. First she was dressed with a sleeping outfit, second she was speaking with her mouth full of food, what would be the third ?

Clarke felt ashamed of being herself, but what she didn't know was that Lexa loved this side of her. So many people had acted in front of Lexa as if she was a queen, but she was far from being one. She had never chosen to be famous and hated this world of _faux-semblants_.

''I'm glad you like it.'' she simply said, grabbing her fork to start eating.

Clarke put down her own fork, feeling nervous about asking Lexa questions. She was looking down at her plate, frowning, afraid of ruining this night with her issues.

''Clarke ? Are you okay ?'' Lexa asked, now worried the date she had planned wasn't pleasing to Clarke.

The young woman stared up at Lexa. She had so many questions. She decided to start by one which didn't include herself.

''How did you take Nia down ? People must've seen you go back to your office from Floor Two... and how could you act so fast ? Prove Nia was the one who tried to kill you ?''

Obviously. Clarke wanted to talk about Woods Enterprises' stuff. Lexa would've sighed if she didn't owe Clarke an explanation.

''As I told you before, I waited a long time to take her down. Nia had testified to the police. According to her, I had tried to kill her the night before after a conversation in the parking lot had gotten out of hand. That's 'why I was running away'. But I told them I had to leave that day, family issue. I knew they wouldn't bother to ask my sisters, it's not Nia's car which exploded. Anyway, there was a lot of talking and several meetings to discuss Azgeda Corp.'s situation.''

''But... you were still in the building, no one saw you leave...''

''I don't know how, but Azgeda had turned off CCTV. And I used the private elevator to get up there. See ? Nothing to worry about.'' she teased her with a smile.

Clarke nodded. She'd keep this answer because she didn't want to dive deep into a long and complicated explanation. Instead, she brought her hand above one of the candles' flame on her left. It was warm. It was burning. Somehow, she felt like the candle was understanding how she felt. Because they both felt the same.

Lexa seemed to get what Clarke was thinking because she gently grabbed this hand to lay it on the table, keeping it in hers. Clarke stiffened, something Lexa felt.

The young mother had barely touched her plate and seemed nervous. Was she even happy here ?

Lexa let go of her hand but didn't stop staring at her, concerned.

''You're not really hungry, are you ?'' she carefully asked.

Clarke didn't want to disappoint Lexa. This was supposed to be a date and she was ruining it with her anxiety. ''No, it's really good, I haven't eaten salmon for years, I love it –''

''But you don't feel like eating.'' Lexa concluded.

Clarke abruptly stood up, overwhelmed by all the feelings she couldn't control. ''I'm sorry – this was a bad idea.'' she apologized, her voice shaking.

 _I'm ruining a date with Lexa_ , she thought, nervously laughing. She had only managed to tell Lexa how she felt because the brunette's life had been in danger. But doing common things such as having dinner with a gorgeous and clever woman were far from easy for her. She had to admit that she had never really done this kind of thing. Her life felt so superficial right now. She could read the big lines of it but no event had outlined any. There was no reading between the lines. Clarke Griffin was an empty book which pages were getting torn one after one.

''Clarke –'' Lexa tried to call her back before the blonde could enter the bedroom but the latter had already disappeared in it.

She hesitated before making the decision of going to see her. She found Clarke curled up under the blanket. She walked to the bed and slightly lifted the blanket to slide under it, gently grabbing Clarke's hand to pull the blonde against her.

Clarke let Lexa embrace her. She wasn't crying, but she probably would've if Lexa hadn't come. She felt as if she was overreacting and she hated it, but she had no control over her feelings.

''Do you want to tell me what I've done wrong ?'' Lexa asked.

She had imagined having a nice evening with Clarke. Tons of laughter. Knowing each other a bit more.

''Nothing.'' Clarke simply answered, her arm surrounding Lexa's waist. ''You're perfect.''

Lexa's eyes widened, which Clarke couldn't see with her head down, and her heart started beating so fast Clarke could hear it.

The blonde lifted her head, looking into those heartwarming green eyes. She loved them so much she didn't want to look away. She felt so well in Lexa's arms she swore she would never leave them.

''Can I sleep with you tonight ?'' she whispered, both women shivering, before Clarke realized her question had more than one meaning. She harshly blushed and tried to take it back ''I mean, sleeping in the same bed as you, not – I didn't mean it this way.'' She looked away, more ashamed than ever today. At the company, she felt like 'sex' was written on her forehead. She didn't want this kind of reputation here. Not with Lexa. Not after everything she had done, which Lexa had the knowledge of.

Once the feeling of surprise was gone, Lexa smirked. It was good Clarke wasn't looking at her because the blonde probably wouldn't like the face she was making right now.

''Well, Clarke, you can sleep with me whenever you want.'' she teased.

Clarke frowned for the umpteenth time today. Was Lexa mocking her or reminding her of her reputation ? ''Fuck you.'' she pouted, remembering all the times she had said that to Lexa.

The brunette laughed, knowing she deserved it, but couldn't keep herself from answering.

''Last time I tried you burst into my office and then left me.''

Clarke turned her head over to Lexa. Weren't they cuddling seconds ago ? _This woman is so confusing._ ''We weren't even together.'' Clarke replied. She had _left_ Lexa's apartment after their fight at the hospital, but she had never implied liking her before.

''But we are now ? You know if you wanna be with me you just have to say so.'' Lexa innocently said.

Innocently ? _That jerk is tricking me again._ Clarke pouted again, not believing Lexa could be that much into her. She was still asking herself this question – how could Lexa love her ? But for now, she needed to rest and enjoy Lexa's embrace, so she just made herself comfortable on her new human pillow and whispered ''If you're comfy enough, maybe I'll consider dating you again.''

It hadn't been much of a date, but enough of one for Lexa who got to fall asleep with Clarke in her arms.

Clarke had to fight back her feelings to keep herself from kissing Lexa tonight. She wanted to kiss her badly, but not like this, not when she was out of her mind. She had already done that and Lexa had pushed her away.

Tomorrow, things will be clearer, as they'll woke up in each other's arms.


	23. Chapter 23

**Hi ! I really like this chapter and I hope you enjoy it as much I do.**

 **To answer a guest review, I can't say for sure how many chapters are left as I always write longer or shorter scenes depending on how I see them at the moment. All I can say is we're halfway through the story. Part one was about Clarke getting to accept Lexa's help and part two is, well, Clexa.**

* * *

Lexa was cursing herself for not taking this day off. Clarke was still sleeping in her arms and she only wanted to stay in bed with her, but she had to go to the office. So many things to do. She was still cooling things down since the attack. She had bought a new car, though, because Clarke needed one to get to work whereas Lexa was still using her motorbike.

She tried to slip away from Clarke's body but the girl frowned and moaned in discontent. Lexa decided to wake her up. It was only fair she warned her of her departure.

''Clarke ?'' she slowly called her, and the blonde pouted in her sleep, which made Lexa smile. ''Clarke, Aden's hungry !'' Lexa abruptly whispered.

The young mother suddenly lifted her body up, her eyes widening before getting blinded by the light. She blinked several times. The last events came back to her mind and she remembered Aden was at his nanny's. She shot a glare at Lexa who was biting her upper lip to keep herself from laughing.

''I have to go to work. Sorry, but you need to let me go.'' Lexa explained, still trying to hold a laugh.

Clarke got up from the bed without answering and took some clothes from the wardrobe. She was about to leave the room to get to the bathroom when Lexa asked ''What are you doing ? You can stay in bed, you don't have to work today.''

Clarke stopped, turned back, brushed her hair back, and convincingly said ''Oh, I'm coming. I have to make your day a living hell for what you just did to me.''

She walked away and Lexa went from biting her lip to strongly biting her cheek. This day was defenitely not going to be hellish for the brunette.

* * *

Lexa had cleaned the table before leaving. Clarke joined her an hour later after she took a shower and found an idea of revenge.

She walked into the office to find Lexa at her own desk. The brunette smiled at her and Clarke frowned, confusing the CEO. Clarke took a paper out of her pocket, looking at it with an interrogating look, her other hand in her cloak's pocket.

''Is everything alright ?'' Lexa asked, standing up to get closer to the blonde and see what this curious paper was about.

But when she reached Clarke, the latter took her hidden hand out of the pocket to the dark-haired head. Something splashed, the noise being heard before Lexa could feel the viscous thing trickling on her head and, soon, on her face.

She didn't even have to ask what it was. The smell and sensation was enough to tell. She brought her hands to her face, cleaning her eyelids from the _egg_. She opened her eyes and confusedly stared at her coworker. But Clarke's glance was enough to tell why the young mother had crashed an egg onto her boss' head.

''Use my son to trick me again and next time you'll get a hard-boiled egg.'' Clarke calmly said, Lexa perfectly understanding the girl's revenge.

No one had ever dared to look at her the wrong way – except for Nia, who was now about to go to prison after Lexa's lawyers would be done with her – and there was this young woman who had done everything an employee would have never done. Lexa shouldn't like Clarke's strong personnality, but it also felt good to be considered as equal by someone.

Not just someone, Clarke. _I'd say damn you but please, damn me, Clarke Griffin._

''At least it's not rotten.'' Lexa replied with a slight shrug.

Clarke didn't have any other egg, otherwise she wouldn't have minded crashing it onto Lexa's head. The brunette was too cheeky for Clarke to not fight back. If her fight against the truth had been over for a little while, it seemed like a whole new fight had just been instigated by Lexa. A fight in the shape of a game which Clarke was surely not going to lose.

''Next time then.'' Clarke simply said, shrugging too.

She went to her desk and sat. Lexa had followed her with her glance and Clarke ordered herself to not look at her.

Lexa still spoke, making it harder for Clarke to ignore her.

''Does this mean you're up for a second date ?''

Clarke ignored her for three full seconds before lifting her stare. ''Pizza/TV thing. Next weekend. And Aden is staying. He'll sleep anyway. At least when you'd piss me off I could pretend he needs me and go away.''

Lexa smiled like a fool. She couldn't wait to spend more time with Clarke. With her, the world seemed brighter. It sounded cliché, but Lexa had been focussing on work for so long, because she didn't want anything else, nothing could really bring her joy or even happiness. And there was Clarke, who was slowly bringing her to life.

* * *

They were both working. Lexa was reviewing some file for a meeting this afternoon. Clarke was translating a letter they had received from a French company. She had wondered why the letter wasn't written in english, but there was an english version along with the french, and it was terrible.

Lexa had been focussed on whatever she had been doing today, but she hadn't been able to stop herself from staring at Clarke from time to time. At lunch time, she had opened a chatbox to ask Clarke what she wanted to eat and the blonde had frowned when she had seen the box appear on her screen.

''I'm right here. Why are you talking to me through computers ?'' Clarke had asked.

Lexa had answered by sending another message telling her that it was the way of talking even when someone else was in the office, someone such as Nia Blanquet, or anyone annoying.

The brunette hadn't realized yet she had given Clarke another possibility of messing with her. After Clarke had smashed an egg onto her head, she had gone into the bathroom to wash her hair and change her egg-soaked shirt. She thought this was enough of a revenge – which she wouldn't have let go if someone else than Clarke had done it – and wasn't expecting anything else.

But Clarke had said she would make Lexa's day hard and she intended on keeping her word. She got just the right idea when a young woman entered the office with five files in one hand and a cup of coffee in the other.

She stopped in front of the CEO's desk. She looked nervous. She hadn't even looked at Clarke, who was watching her with an idea blossoming in her mind. She seemed mesmerized by Lexa. The CEO had that effect on every person she met, especially women who knew her reputation.

Lexa waited for the new girl to speak, stabbing her with her confident stare. Clarke noticed the girl's hands were tightening on the files and cup to hide the fact that they were shaking.

''Hello.'' the girl managed to say.

Her hair was as blonde as Clarke's, but her eyes were brown. Lexa kept her stare up, letting a moment of silence frightening the young woman.

''Hello,'' she finally said, and it seemed the girl was only starting to breathe again, ''you're new. What are you doing up here so soon ?'' she asked. No tone. No expression. Impossible to tell what Lexa was thinking.

''I a...arrived last week,'' the new employee carefully said, ''I was told to bring you this.''

She approched Lexa's desk, as slowly as possible, looking for her new boss' approval. She cautiously laid the files and the cup after wondering how to do so without dropping anything.

''You like coffee, right ? Black ? They t... they said you liked it and appreciated being brought coffee as we all know you're always busy and all, so... um, I'm Melina Henson, by the way, statistics department.''

Silence. Clarke had been in this girl's position over a year ago and living it as an audience was actually quite funny. She hadn't reacted the same way as this woman, obviously, her harsh personnality had refused Lexa's offer and the CEO had been the one talking more. But today, Lexa was barely talking to the poor girl.

Clarke decided to do something about it. Lexa wasn't going to play with another poor soul. She stopped tapping her translation to click on the chatbox.

Seconds later, Lexa saw the chatbox open on her screen in the corner of her eyes. She quickly looked at it.

 **Clarke**

 _She's cute._

Lexa didn't react. This new employee was, indeed, pretty, but why would Clarke tell her this ? They had a date – if they could really call it this way – the night before and it seemed they were working on something, so why talking about other women ? Was Clarke encouraging her to seduce this woman ?

''I do not drink black coffee.'' Lexa stated, ignoring Clarke's message.

The employee, who had named herself Melina, froze on spot. Had she just disappointed her boss ? On their first encounter ? She didn't answer, not knowing what to do, scared of doing the wrong thing again.

Lexa knew this girl had been set up by her colleagues. How many employees had appeared in her office with some way of humiliating themselves in front of her ? Too many to count. Clarke had been one of them, as she had entered the office soaked in rotten eggs.

It was entertaining to watch. It never went too far anyway. At least, that's what she thought before. But after what happened with Zeke, she wasn't so sure anymore. She knew she should pay more attention to what was happening to her employees in the building. She was aware of many things, but apparently not enough.

The chatbox caught her attention again and she read another message from Clarke.

 **Clarke**

 _I'm not sure how she looks right now. Whether she's terrified of you or she wants you to do her on that ugly cardinal red sofa._

Lexa clenched her jaws. No laughing. No anger. Nothing. She had to stay stoic. She kept her eyes on the screen for a few seconds because she wasn't sure she could stay neutral if she looked at the girl and saw any mark of fear or lust. She decided to answer as Clarke didn't seem to be willing to stop.

 **Lexa**

 _You weren't so different the first time you came into my office. A bit more spicy I guess._

But Clarke had discretely looked up at the young woman waiting in front of Lexa's desk and ignored the brunette's comment to say something else.

 **Clarke**

 _From the way she's looking at you right now, definitely the ugly cardinal red sofa._

This message forced Lexa to look up and busted the young woman who had been describing her boss' body with an intense look while biting her lower lip.

 _So cliché_ , Clarke thought, but was actually trying to keep herself from laughing at this awkward situation.

''Do you have any other reason for coming here today ?'' Lexa asked, her voice as neutral as possible.

Melina brought her hands together, nervous as hell. But she wasn't the one supposed to be having a bad time.

 **Clarke**

 _I know she's your type._

Lexa sighed at the comment and regretted it right away. She should have told Melina to leave, because the poor girl was probably thinking about the fact that she didn't get to say goodbye to her family before dying.

Getting a reaction out of Lexa when the brunette had decided to go the stoic way was awfully hard, and Clarke had done it. The blonde slightly smiled, a grin Lexa saw.

 **Lexa**

 _What makes you think so ?_

 **Clarke**

 _She's blonde._

Lexa bit her lip this time, something both Clarke and Melina saw.

The brand new employee was starting to regain hope.

''I'm sorry for the coffee, I didn't know.'' she apologized. ''But if you want another I can go get one.''

Lexa gave a little smile to Melina. She had to free Melina before Clarke messed this whole encounter up. Lexa had her reputation here and she didn't want to lose the 'fierce' part of it. But she wasn't going to have sex with that girl like she had with so many women who had come to her office. Clarke knew it, she also could guess why. And so she used it against Lexa.

''No need.'' Lexa simply said. ''Do not bother. You had to bring me the files and you did. Thank you.''

Melina seemed disappointed when Lexa thanked her. She would tell her coworker and new friend she had failed. She adored Lexa Woods since high school and had thought she had a chance with her. Even a handshake would've been enough of a touch. Lexa Woods was brilliant, she always stood proudly, and she was gorgeous.

She left. She had failed. There was no going back. How could you be delusional to think your boss – Lexa Woods ! – would have a good time with you ?

 **Clarke**

 _Too bad. I'm pretty sure she had the contract ready._

Lexa was relieved now her employee was gone. But Clarke was not, and the girl still felt like playing.

''A contract ?'' Lexa said out loud. There was no urgent need of talking through their chatbox now, and she felt too lazy to tap anything. She needed a minute.

Clarke leaned back in her comfortable chair, turning her head over to Lexa.

''Fifty shades of Woods.'' she smirked.

Lexa laid her head on the palm of her head. This pun was terrible, but it _worked_ and that was the worse part of it. Woods had several shades right ? Could be brighter or darker, depending on the type of wood, on whether it's dry or wet, or... she let out a laugh.

''And that's your revenge ? For waking you up using Aden as an excuse ?'' she asked.

Clarke shrugged. She wasn't going to say what was supposed to be a revenge. She just let Lexa think whatever she wanted. She looked back at her screen. She hadn't finished her translation yet.

Lexa stood up and went to stand right beside her, leaning forward to look at the screen. She had approached Clarke enough for her head to be right the girl's left ear.

''Resting instead of working ? Not a very clever thing to do with your boss around.'' Lexa calmly said.

Clarke ordered her body not to shiver but it did anyway. It seemed like she could feel Lexa smirking beside her. ''Well, my boss has been staring at me all day. Yet I still managed to translate something interesting.''

Lexa raised a brow. Without moving a bit, she asked ''What would that be ?''

Clarke grinned and grabbed her mouse to open another document. The front page of a magazine appeared, showing a proud and good-looking Lexa at a press conference she had had not long after getting rid of Nia. Clarke smiled again at the title.

' _Lexa Woods élue femme fatale de l'année._ ' above another smaller title ' _La jeune cheffe d'entreprise ne semble pas effrayée après la conspiration de l'entrepreneuse Nia Blanquet contre sa vie_.'

Clarke showed Lexa the translation.

' _Lexa Woods crowned femme fatale of the_ year. The _young CEO doesn't look afraid after Frecnh CEO Nia Blanquet's conspiracy against her life._ '

''Femme fatale, hm ?'' Lexa smirked. ''Well, I've heard no one can resist me.''

''Keep reading.'' Clarke simply said, knowing what was coming would be less pleasant to Lexa.

The brunette read and her smirk started disappearing as she went line after line.

''... _Luc Legrand, on the other hand, thinks a partnership with Lexa Woods would benefit both his politics and her career. He's planning on meeting her in two weeks after his first american conference about the correlation between politics and social medias._ '' Lexa couldn't believe what she was reading. '' _The brilliant young man stated his desire of asking Woods her hand. 'She's a genius,' he said at his last press conference in Paris last tuesday, 'no one can resist her, well, no one can resist me either. We'd make a great team.' Luc Legrand is the most liked man in France nowadays._ '' Her sharpened stare stabbed Clarke. ''Is this another trick ? Where's the actual translation ?''

Clarke looked down, biting her lip to contain a laugh. ''This is all true. Legrand became popular by posting videos on the internet. He's making his debute in the policital world. He's already maire of a regular-sized town.''

Lexa stood up. ''This guy is so pretentious he believes I'd accept to marry him ?''

Clarke had watched a few videos from this guy and she couldn't say she wouldn't want to watch him meet Lexa. She wondered how long he would last in front of the brunette. ''He's not that bad-looking. He's actually handsome.'' she smiled, knowing it would annoy Lexa even more.

''The whole world knows I'm gay, Clarke. I didn't come out to everyone on this planet for stubborn men to keep asking me my hand.'' Lexa said seriously. Her coming out hadn't been easy, and now no one called her out on her sexuality – no one dared confronting Lexa about anything, except for Titus and his obsession on illegal immigration – so she didn't want to go back to rejecting men for the obvious reason that she wasn't attracted to them.

Lexa was doing her best to hide her feelings toward these news but Clarke saw them anyway.

''Does it bother you that much ?'' she asked, making Lexa look at her again. ''You said it yourself, the whole world knows you're gay. When you refuse this guy's proposal, people will understand why.''

Lexa thought about it for a few seconds before realizing that wasn't the issue. ''He's the most popular man in France, now, right ? I have to find a way of keeping him under control. Azgeda Corp. is enough trouble from this country, I don't need this man to get into my company's business.''

Clarke watched as Lexa walked to her desk, staring down, thinking. Lexa sat down and lifted her chin up, her glance immediately finding Clarke's.

''Get in contact with this man and tell him I accept to meet him.'' she ordered.

Clarke looked skeptical. ''You want to meet him here ?''

''Here.'' she answered, her hands up showing her office. ''In two days. You'll be here too in case his english is terrible.''

''Two days ?! But he's supposed to come in two weeks. Lexa, he'd have to leave tomorrow which means he should know tonight that he's expected. He will barely have time to come !''

Lexa gave Clarke a slight shrug. ''He wants to meet Lexa Woods. It's the day after tomorrow or never.''

In this moment, Clarke wasn't sure whether she looked forward the most to her date with Lexa or to this meeting. Knowing Lexa's personnality, both will be interesting.

* * *

Clarke had contacted Legrand via Twitter and he had answered immediately. He seemed excited when she told him Lexa wanted to meet him soon. He even bragged about it on social medias and Clarke felt bad for him knowing Lexa would certainly not accept his proposal. That was clear. But how will the CEO reject this politician ? Clarke was going to see it. It was only a matter of minutes.

She was anxious about it. Lexa had insisted for her to be there but Clarke doubted it was just about french. Luc Legrand did speak english and it would be silly to speak to the one you wanted as a wife in a language the latter didn't understand. Lexa didn't really need her. She had managed all these years without her.

''Hello, Clarke.'' Lexa said as the blonde entered her office.

Clarke answered with a nod and went to her desk. She turned on her computer before sitting down.

''Did you sleep well ?'' Lexa asked her, trying to make conversation.

Since their first date, they hadn't slept in the same room again. Neither one of them knew what was the right thing to do. They were afraid to mess this up. It was sort of knew for both of them as they had never been in a situation like this with anyone.

''Okay I guess. I can't wait for Aden to sleep full nights.'' she answered, feeling a bit tired. She wasn't going to say it, but she had slept better when she had been in Lexa's arms, so Aden wasn't the only reason Clarke didn't sleep well.

Lexa was about to reply when Lexa's desk phone rang. She picked it up, already knowing what it was about.

''He's here.'' she told Clarke once the phone was back where it used to be.

''He's early.'' the blonde complained. She had wished for a moment of calm before his arrival.

Lexa stood up and walked to the middle of the room, watching the doors opening. Her guest entered, a light wide smile on his face. He walked up to her, easygoing, and stopped two feet away from the CEO.

''Hello !'' he warmly said, leaning to kiss her on the cheeks as he was used to do in his country.

''Hello.'' Lexa stopped him, raising a hand to offer him a handshake.

He took it even if it wasn't what he had expected from Lexa. No woman had ever refused him something as simple as the _bise_. ''Nice to meet you.'' he spoke again.

Clarke leaned back in her chair as she watched Lexa staring coldly at the man. This moment would be perfect if she had popcorn. She was also glad Legrand wasn't paying attention to anything else than Lexa. It seemed like they were having a staring contest, Lexa icy cold, Legrand trying to melt the ice with the fire that his charisma was.

''You wanted to meet me,'' Lexa answered, ''here I am.''

Clarke didn't exactly know if Lexa had prepared this meeting. She hadn't seen the brunette much at home. Lexa was catching up on work even though she only wanted to stay with Clarke. This morning, they hadn't seen each other before Clarke entered the office.

''Yes, I wanted to meet you indeed.'' Legrand replied, his smile far from fading away. He was confident. He was handsome, his smile wider than any other, his blue eyes bluer than a cloudless sky, and his accent making every foreign girl fall. He swore it would work on Lexa. ''I believe we have a lot in common. Your success and mine are very similar. You are a star in the business industry and I am one in politics. We are both –''

''Get to the point.'' Lexa cut him off in a 'I don't care about your bullshit' way that nearly made Clarke laugh.

''Well, _ma belle_ ,'' he spoke, taking a step forward, stubbornly confident, ''you and I we could take over the world.'' He raised a hand, brushing Lexa's chin with his forefinger. Clarke curled her lower lip, holding it with her teeth to hold her laugh. This guy had no patience, no more than he had game, and Lexa was murdering him with her stare. She still let him say whatever he was going to tell, not pushing away this hand yet. ''We'd make a great team, don't you think ?''

Lexa swore she saw the shadow of a smile on Clarke's face in the corner of her eye. The blonde was certainly having a good time watching this. Lexa slightly smiled. Clarke wasn't going to do so for long.

''Enlighten me.'' she ordered, her eyes brightening up.

Legrand felt like he had won. His hand went from Lexa's chin to her hand, lifting it gently. He laid his lips on the back of it without stopping to look into Lexa's eyes. He pulled the hand back down without letting go of it. ''How about we discuss this over a coffee and some _croissants_ ? I can teach you a lot about France.'' He looked down at her lips, wearing a mischievious smile on his own. ''You could actually discover some interesting things.''

Clarke put her hand in front of her mouth. Her belly ached from all the laughing she was holding. She considered this guy lucky for still being alive at this point of the meeting. Had he just implied that Lexa might like making out with him, discovering a brand new side of her sexuality ?

''You look handsome,'' Lexa stated with a softer voice, watching lust slowly appearing in the French man's eyes. ''your kiss has its reputation where you're from.'' she continued, looking down at his lips, giving him hope before looking away. She saw Clarke laughing as silently as possible and ordered ''Richards, bring me this good-looking man's file.''

Clarke looked around as if she was looking for someone else to do it, but her mind brought her back to the ground and she grabbed the file, standing up to get to her boss. She tried to look as neutral as possible, but it was more for Lexa than for Legrand as he was still looking at Lexa.

 _This poor guy really thinks he stands a chance._ Clarke told herself, looking at him as she was handing Lexa the file. But Lexa never took it. The brunette pulled Clarke against her, their eyes meeting before Lexa's lips met hers. It was a good thing Lexa was holding her waist because otherwise Clarke would've fallen down and never stood up again. It happened to the file, who fell on the floor, papers flying around. Lexa's lips were playing with hers, brushing them, caressing them with the edge of her tongue, and, in the end, softly biting her lower lip, holding it a second to suck on it.

When Lexa pulled her head back. She smiled at Clarke's red face. She had wanted to do this for so long she was holding herself from kissing her again. She gently let go of Clarke, and the latter tottered back before catching herself on the back of her desk. Clarke hadn't expected Lexa to kiss her today, even less like this. She was trying to regain her composure. This time, Lexa had won.

The CEO looked back at the man who seemed confused. He wore a sketch of a smile, his hands on each side of his waist.

''As you said,'' Lexa proudly spoke, ''we have a lot in common.'' She looked back at Clarke, smiling in the mischievious way Legrand did seconds ago. ''Women can't resist us.''

He took a step back, thinking of a joke. He didn't come all this way to fail. ''No one could take down a powercouple such as us.''

Lexa decided it was time to make things clear. ''You wanted to ask me to marry you. I won't. I don't need anyone to rule over my company, neither do I need a man to take care of myself.'' She walked up to him, laying a hand on his back to make him follow her to the door. He opened his mouth to speak and she cut him off before one word could come out of his mouth. ''You go back to France and tell everyone you got turned down by Lexa Woods. And if you dare to lie about it, know that I'll be having a press conference tonight to talk about my sexuality not being a joke pretentious nobodies can laugh about.'' She let go of him to take a step forward and open the door. Facing him, she asked ''Am I clear enough or do you need a translation ?''

He would've looked mad if he wasn't so ashamed of himself. Never in his life had he failed. Life had been smiling at him for so long, how could this happen ? He had heard of Lexa Woods three years ago. She was stunning, and he used to have a poster of her in his office at home where he shot his videos. But she was also fierce, few people had dared disrespecting her and she was admired in more than both her and his continents. He had heard about her being gay, obviously, but he was so popular he thought everyone loved him. Woods couldn't have possibly refused his proposal. Yet she had before he even asked her the famous question.

Their meeting hadn't been long. And his whole country was going to know about it. How was he going to show his face after that ?

* * *

Lexa went home at the end of the day to find Clarke sleeping on the couch with Aden on her chest. The young mother had an arm protecting her baby while the other was hanging from the sofa.

Clarke had left the office after Legrand, not ready to talk about what had happened yet. The kiss had been full of everything Clarke had missed for years.

Lexa sat on the floor in front of the couch, watching the mother and the son sleeping peacefully. Aden must have felt Lexa approaching because he moved his head, frowning, and started scratching Clarke's breasts to wake his mother up. She did and made sure her son was fine before paying attention to the woman staring at her.

Clarke stood up and went to her room. Lexa was disappointed. Had she made a mistake when she kissed Clarke earlier today ?

But Clarke came back without her son in her arms. She sat on the couch, inviting Lexa to do the same. The brunette did, watching Clarke carefully. How was Clarke going to react ?

''Lexa,'' the blonde finally said, relieving Lexa from the heavy silence that had been weighting on them, ''I don't think another date is a good idea.''

Lexa's heart stopped a second to go back to beating way faster than before. Her lips parted, her eyes widened, her lungs couldn't catch air anymore. She barely managed to say ''You... don't...''

Never had Lexa not been able to speak to someone when she could've. She knew how to speak and she wasn't afraid to do it, so why did it seem so hard ?

Clarke saw Lexa's hurt expression and searched her mind for the right words. She pulled herself closer to Lexa and took the slightly shaking hand in her own. ''We don't need to state which day we're going to spend time together when we could do it almost every day. You may be busy with work, and I with both work and Aden, but we're here now. I don't want to wait for tomorrow to talk about where we are going. We don't need to know for now.''

Lexa's expression had softened but she was still out of words. Clarke was right. They didn't need to decide when they would date, they didn't even need to talk about dating. They had already admitted of loving each other before they actually kissed for the first time. They had done things backwards from the start.

From Lexa's lack of reaction, Clarke stood up, still sleepy. ''I'm exhausted. I'm going to sleep.''

Lexa slightly nodded and gave herself two seconds to analyse the situation before giving up and deciding to go to sleep too. She walked into the corridor, stepping behind Clarke to get to the guest room while Clarke was going back into hers.

''What are you doing ?'' Clarke stopped her.

Lexa seemed confused for a moment before answering ''Going to sleep too. It's not late but today was tiring.''

Clarke shook her head. ''There's no way you go back to sleeping into the guest room after today's kiss. Come here, _ma belle_ ,'' she teased her.

Lexa smiled. She should've known Clarke wasn't going to let go of the comedy that had taken place with Legrand. She followed her into her room. Aden was sleeping in his cradle.

''French sounds way sexier in your mouth.'' Lexa whispered.

Clarke slipped under the blanket, lifting the right side of it for Lexa to join her. ''I should be mad at you for using me to get rid of him.''

Lexa didn't think twice before joining Clarke. They were both lying on their side, looking at each other. ''I had to show him what my type was.''

''That's your excuse ?'' Clarke smirked.

''Well, for your information, you're the one who said you wanted to sleep with me. How can you not misread that ?'' Lexa smirked too.

Clarke brought her arm to Lexa's waist, pulling her closer. She burried her head in Lexa's neck, feeling the brunette shiver. ''For your information, you're the one who kissed me today and I'm misreading that by using you as my pillow for the night.''

Lexa was forced to lay on her back as Clarke was half-lying on her. She surrounded the girl's waist with both her arms, not willing to let go of her. They both had their eyes closed when Lexa replied ''Just for this night hm ?''

She felt Clarke's head moving against her neck. ''Tonight we cuddle, tomorrow I might kiss you until you finally decide to shut up for good and get some sleep.''

Lexa smiled, her cheeks warming up. ''Does it mean that if I don't shut up now you'll kiss me ?''

Her heart was beating _fast_ , and Clarke surely felt it. The young mother lifted her head up and surprised Lexa with a soft kiss. They stayed without moving one bit for long seconds, enjoying the moment, and Clarke pulled away, hiding her head back into the brunette's neck.

''There you go, goodnight kiss. Now shut up and sleep.'' Clarke whispered.

Lexa could feel Clarke's warm cheeks against her skin. If Clarke fell asleep soon, Lexa kept staring at the ceiling, smiling like an idiot at the happiness flooding through her veins. Clarke was in her arms, and she had just _kissed_ her.

 _I rejected the man and I got the girl_ , she made herself laugh, telling herself to keep quiet when she felt Clarke's hand moving from her waist to her belly.

She played with Clarke's hair, something the sleeping blonde didn't seem to mind at all, and fell asleep to the sound of Clarke's breath against her skin.


	24. Chapter 24

Clarke was now the one playing with Lexa's hair. It was nearly 8am. Lexa was still sleeping, but she was starting to emerge. Clarke smiled, thinking of how peaceful Lexa looked when she was asleep. The brunette wasn't the CEO who had scared Clarke so much a year ago. Right now, she was only this gorgeous young woman who made Clarke feel at home. How could Clarke resist these arms for so long ? Lexa was a cure for Clarke's issue. The blonde had been lonely for years. Scared, too. Frightened, actually. Followed by the shadow of her late father who had reminded her what happened to himself could happen to her too.

For so long. And if it had only been just it. But it had never been _just it_. It had been all those wrong things happening to her, which she had had to accept because she had no right here, and even when she tried to run away they always came back to hit her, stronger than ever.

For so long. And now she was too tired to consider thinking her feelings through. No matter what would happen, she wanted this happiness Lexa brought her.

Lexa mumbled something Clarke didn't get and slowly opened her eyes, discovering the face watching her from above. She smiled when she saw the blue eyes staring at her.

''For how long have you been awake ?'' she mumbled again, taking her time to come back to Earth, and this time Clarke understood.

''I finished giving Aden his breakfast twenty minutes ago. He woke up twice last night.'' she replied, still playing with the dark hair. ''It seems softer,'' she looked at Lexa's hair, ''maybe I should egg it regularly.'' she spoke again, holding a mischievous smile.

Lexa was well awake now as she recalled Clarke's trick. No one in her entire company all over the world would dare to do something like this to her. This lack of respect could lead you to your social death. But Clarke...

''I should've fired you for it though.'' she stated, and to her surprise, Clarke laughed.

''Oh, you should've fired my ass a long time ago.''

Lexa smirked. Clarke was sassy, and somehow it was good for Lexa. The CEO wouldn't say it, but she was tired of being surrounded by people who feared her or desired her. She was portrayed as a goddess by many magazines for what she had achieved at such a young age and, also, for her physical appearance. But she was more than just her job or her looks. Clarke seemed to see that.

''If I had fired you I'd be dead now. And who would have I kissed to show the French guy how better I am at seducing women than he is ?'' she answered, a small teasing smile looking for Clarke's reply to grow wide.

Clarke did smile, a large smile remembering the way Lexa had kissed her yesterday. A kiss so precise, deep, more intense than any kiss she had ever had before made her feel naked right now. ''I feel like we had sex yesterday just because of this kiss.'' Clarke admitted, knowing her comment would bring a certain reaction from Lexa.

Indeed, Lexa laughed out loud, waking Aden up in his cradle. If Lexa's lips formed a confident smile, her eyes and cheeks showed way different things. Desire from her blush, love from the way she was carefully looking at Clarke in this moment.

''It wasn't a one time thing to me.'' Lexa seriously said, though she was still smiling.

Clarke looked into the green eyes, describing them closely. She felt the urge to draw them, something she had already done a long time ago before getting rid of the drawings when she quit for the first time. She would have to do it later, same as laying in bed with Lexa, because Aden was crying his lungs out. She stood up, noticing from afar Lexa's outfit.

''I'm gonna take care of Aden. You should change.'' she said, pointing at the brunette's working clothes.

Lexa looked at them too and remembered she hadn't taken a shower last night as she had planned. ''I didn't really have time to change yesterday before you dragged me into bed with you.''

Clarke took her son in her arms and started to cuddle him. The little boy's cries were slowly fading away, soothed by the mother's arms. She looked back at Lexa, realizing the brunette hadn't get up early this morning to go to work. ''Aren't you working today ?''

''Nope !'' Lexa replied straight away. ''I'm taking this day off. If they need me they'll call.''

Clarke nodded and walked toward the door, stopping on her last step out of the room. ''Change and get your ass into the kitchen. It's time you learn how to not burn a cake.''

When alone in her bedroom, Lexa laughed at herself. Clarke made her feel like a teenager, and this was maybe time for Lexa to live a part of her life that was taken away from her. The chance of putting her responsibilities aside for a moment.

* * *

When Lexa entered the kitchen wearing comfortable clothes, Aden was lying in a baby swing chair in the kitchen's safe area while Clarke was getting the eggs and the milk out of the fridge.

''I'm actually surprised you always manage to keep your fridge full.'' Clarke said, laying the milk bottle on the kitchen counter.

''Deliveries. You might meet my dear friend the deliverer guy soon, he comes more often now you and Aden are leaving here. I don't know if you'll see him next time though, he always comes when we're at work.'' she stepped forward, cautiously grabbing the eggs' box from Clarke's hands to lay it on the counter.

''How come I've never seen him ?'' Clarke spit in surprise, then realizing Lexa had just taken the eggs away from her. ''What are you doing ? I could've done that myself you know.''

Lexa put herself in front of the counter, between Clarke and the eggs. ''I'm protecting the eggs from you – and I may be protecting myself too, you're dangerous with eggs around.''

Clarke raised her brows, trying to look outraged but actually feeling amused. The Lexa acting like a kid – well, more of a jerk if Clarke had to be more precise – was her favorite because it was easy being around her. She took a step forward, defying Lexa with her stare and declared ''Grab a bowl and separate the white from the yolk.''

Not what Lexa expected. The brunette obeyed, not willing to risk her fresh cleaned hair over a joke. She did the best she could but it wasn't good enough. Clarke's face told her it couldn't work this way. ''What's wrong ?'' she asked, starting to doubt her ability to cook.

''See the yellow threads in there ?'' Clarke pointed at the bowl containing the white eggs.

Lexa looked at it more closely and, indeed, the white was sprinkled with yellow. ''Is it that bad ?''

''It's gonna be harder beating them into snow, they're not going to turn correctly.''

''Turn ? Are we talking about eggs white or zombies here ?'' Lexa feigned stupidity.

Clarke looked at her in disbelief. ''Don't tell me you watch those old horror movies with zombies as scary as a butterfly on a window ?''

Lexa lost her smile while trying to see the joke in Clarke's eyes. Zombies nowadays weren't seen as they were back in the 20th century. Did Clarke even know... ''Have you never watched TV shows ? Even I managed to watch at least one episode from that show about –'' She stopped talking when she noticed sorrow and pain on Clarke's face who had just turn her back to go fetch whatever could be used as an excuse from the fridge.

''Clarke ?'' Lexa cautiously called her.

The blonde didn't answer. She laid a hand on the fridge closed door and lowered her hand, her shoulders lower than before. Lexa understood. She had made a mistake. She approached the young mother, slipping her hand into Clarke's free one.

''I'm sorry. I'm an idiot.'' she apologized. She saw tears dropping from Clarke's face to the floor and pulled her into her arms.

Clarke tried to get some words out of her sore throat. She had to explain that her tears weren't really Lexa's words' consequences. Her head against Lexa's shoulder, she whispered. ''I haven't cried in two days.''

Lexa laid a hand onto Clarke's hair, tightening the grip her other arm had on Clarke's waist to pull her closer. She knew how hard this was for Clarke. The young mother had been through a lot, and it's not like her hormonal treatment helped her to control her emotions. Clarke's body was still trying to get back to normal, which also meant self acceptance.

''Four years,'' Clarke mumbled, ''I've been running away for four years. I only watched TV when I got the chance to.'' she raised her head, finding the courage to look into Lexa's eyes. ''Something as silly as watching TV...'' she laughed, and Lexa smiled, understanding perfectly what Clarke meant.

Lexa had herself been through a phase of self-containment. She had put herself away from the world she couldn't run away from and it had almost killed her. It's like trying to separate your mind from your body : impossible, you're entangled to it. The only way of feeling better is to accept your body or change your physical appearance in a way that suits your state of mind. But the world couldn't be changed by one troubled soul. At least, that's what Lexa thought before she rose up to the status of CEO of a multinational corporation, using it to bend some rules and change some opinions. The world was far from being safe but she wanted to make it better for as many people as possible. She had the money and the strength to do it. And today, with Clarke by her side, she had the motivation required to live stronger and accomplish more.

''You're okay now. You have plenty of time to catch up.'' she reassured the young mother.

From the corner of the kitchen, Aden babbled meaningless syllables, staring at them with wide blue eyes.

''Your son thinks you're still as hot as always when you cry.'' Lexa tried to make Clarke laugh.

It worked. Clarke let out a relieved laugh and turned her head to Aden's side to see her son watching them. She turned back to Lexa, feeling better with the two most important people in her life – the only ones who were making her keep going.

''Soon he's gonna be five months, then six, then seven and...'' she sighed, glad she was able to breathe normally again after having felt her lungs crushed by pain. ''he's growing up so fast.''

Lexa never stopped staring at Clarke. She wanted to comfort her, take the mother's tears away for good, but it wasn't that easy. Clarke needed time, and she needed to know that she had this time. Plenty of it ahead of her. ''You're gonna be there for him, Clarke. You can watch him grow up. I'm sure Aden will be a great man with you as his mother.''

Clarke curled her lower lip, her heart being surrounded by soft warmth. She wrapped her arms around Lexa's back, laying her head onto the brunette's shoulder. Lexa could be a _pain in the ass_ , as Clarke often thought, but she was also the best at comforting her.

They stayed a while in each other's arms, Lexa gently brushing Clarke's hair to soothe her. Aden was playing with some yielding ball hanging from the bow attached to his swing chair.

''Hey,'' she calmly spoke to Clarke still leaning against her, ''how about I use the eggs to make pancakes and we have breakfast on the couch watching TV ?''

Clarke nodded against her shoulder and Lexa brought Clarke to the living room, making her sit on the sofa before going back into the kitchen to get Aden and his chair in the same room as his mother.

She made pancakes, as planned, along with hot cocoa. She joined Clarke in the living room, putting the food onto the coffee table before turning the TV on. She made sure to leave a space between her and Clarke, still uncertain of what was right for her to do with the blonde. But Clarke took her hand, showing her wish to be closer to her, and Lexa moved to close the distance that was separating them.

Lexa grabbed Clarke's plate and handed it to her. The latter thanked her and they started to eat while picking a show to watch.

* * *

Clarke's head was lying on Lexa's right shoulder. Lexa turned the TV off with her free hand, the other being held by Clarke's.

''That's it for season one.'' she said.

It was late in the afternoon. They had watched all six episodes of _The Walking Dead_ season one and Clarke had been surprised by how realistic some zombies could be. It was to say that, even though she had been running away from her mother and ex-boyfriend for four years, she had been too busy in high school working hard, avoiding her mother's ire, and grieving after her father's death to watch TV or even movies.

She lifted her head a bit, not ready to stand up and let go of Lexa. Not yet. They had time. She had gave Aden his third meal of the day two episodes ago. She looked at Lexa's jawline, sharp, precise, something she wanted to draw. But not now. Now, she only wanted to stay near the brunette.

''I still think surviving against walkers is easier than to survive against other people. Living beings are unpredictable.'' Clarke said. And hell she knew what she was talking about. She had survived in the street for too long.

Lexa also knew about surviving. For a long time she had woken up not knowing if she could make it to the end of the day, only to find herself leading a big company and drowning herself into work.

She lowered her head to meet Clarke's beautiful eyes, a blue Lexa had thought she'd never see again after the darkening of her own sky. And here it was, blue in the shape of two orbs full of more emotions than Lexa had ever seen.

''Life is about more than just surviving.'' she found herself whispering. She surprised both Clarke and herself with those words. She had thought otherwise for so long she didn't notice the time when her mind changed.

Clarke didn't need Lexa to explain this statement because she had the answer just by looking in these green eyes. She saw how much Lexa cared about her, once more confirming this whole living-working-together-thing wasn't a prank.

Without knowing who initiated it, their lips connected, Clarke's hand slipping into Lexa's neck, Lexa gently pushing Clarke back against the sofa. Clarke bit Lexa's lower lip when she felt the brunette's hand on her waist, slipping under her shirt. She interrupted the kiss, surprised and uncertain.

Lexa got off of Clarke when she saw the blonde's confused look. _Did I do something wrong ?_ She didn't know how to act with Clarke. Maybe she had gone too far, even though they were just kissing. If she was catching her breath for having kissed her deeply, Clarke didn't seem to be breathing at all. The young mother stood up too, but instead of looking at Lexa, she turned on her heels and walked to the bedroom where her son was sleeping.

Lexa decided to let Clarke alone for tonight. If time was what Clarke needed, Lexa was willing to give her that.

Later in the evening, Clarke went to the guest room after having laid Aden back into his cradle. She shouldn't have reacted the way she had with Lexa, and she wanted to clear things up with the brunette before it was too late. She knocked on the door and heard a sleepy 'Come in'.

Into the room, she found Lexa lifting herself to a sitting position.

''I'm sorry if I woke you up.'' Clarke apologized.

It was the easiest way to start a conversation. Lexa reassured her with a smile which comforted Clarke and gave her the confidence required to keep going.

''Look, I freaked out earlier but it's not your fault.'' she sought for Lexa's approval to sit on the bed. Lexa pulled the blanket, offering Clarke to join her. The blonde did and Lexa slipped her hand into Clarke's, caressing the back of it with her thumb.

''It's okay, Clarke. Just tell me if I do something wrong.''

Clarke looked down at the blanket, thinking of what she should answer. She wanted to tell the truth but she'd be lying if she said she wasn't ashamed of it. After telling Lexa, there would be no going back. Maybe she would have to explain too, and that scared her. Or Lexa would be as understanding as she was now, and everything would be okay.

She opted for the truth. ''You did nothing wrong. I just... I never did it with someone that I love.''

Lexa's eyes widened in surprise. The brunette had been far from expecting this. Did Clarke ever love anyone before ? Lexa thought the blonde had. Clarke was twenty-two and had a complicated life, but did she not encounter someone special before ? Someone that made her feel different ? Someone that Lexa had known back in college. But even though she had loved Costia, it was not the same with Clarke. Costia had made Lexa feel different, Clarke made her feel normal, which was for the CEO another kind of different. One she had never really felt.

She pulled Clarke into her arms, lying back down. Clarke let Lexa's arms surround and protect her. Even if Clarke was all for protecting herself, it felt nice to have someone holding you. She asked herself if she had lied a few seconds ago. But the picture of Finn in her mind didn't bring her love. When she met him in high school, she liked him, that's why she started dating him. He was fun and helped her fit in. But it had soon gotten out of hand and she had prayed for the day she'd be free. She never loved Finn. She had liked him at first, but it never came to what she was feeling today for Lexa.

''This is new to both of us.'' Lexa stated. She turned her head toward Clarke and laid a sweet kiss on the blonde's forehead. ''It was a nice day,'' she said, feeling Clarke's nose brushing against her neck as the blonde raised her head to look at her, ''even when you threatened me with those eggs.''

Clarke frowned. Lexa liked going from serious woman to jerk around Clarke. If it confused the young mother, it also made her smile. ''You're never gonna see it coming.'' she whispered before catching Lexa's lips with her own.

Lexa forgot about this sentence. It's not like she could understand it anyway. Was Clarke talking about another egg-crash or... _Dammit_. She lost herself in that kiss, letting Clarke decide when to pull away.

After what felt like an everlasting moment, Clarke's lips stopped moving against Lexa's, but didn't parted for another minute. The contact felt too nice for them to simply separate. Even their breath kept each other's track. Their bodies were against each other and for a moment Clarke wished they were naked so she could feel Lexa's skin against her own, but she knew tonight wouldn't be it whereas it was obvious she was going to break soon. Her loving attraction for Lexa was beating her shame in a fight which had started long ago.

* * *

 **Well, we're getting there, aren't we.**

 **To answer a few reviews :**

 **I post on tuesday and saturday. Clarke and Lexa will have to face a few more issues but nothing could break them. (They've been through a lot already.)**

 **Aden isn't weary of Lexa. She is the first person he met after his own mother, but because Clarke disappeared for a while after giving her son to Lexa, Aden doesn't trust others that easily. He's a baby, he doesn't think things through yet, he feels them. When there's something wrong with Clarke, or when she's not around him for too long, he gets anxious. But now he got used to having a nanny and seeing Lexa around. It doesn't bother him, as long as he has his mommy !**

 **Hope you enjoyed this chapter ! Thanks to everyone who reviewed, I love reading your thoughts ! See you on saturday :)**


	25. Chapter 25

''I don't know I freaked out, we were just making out on the couch !'' Clarke yelled in Raven's office.

The young engineer didn't hold her laugh at this. Clarke shot a glare at her but it was to say that Raven had a good reason to find this situation particularly funny.

''Are you expecting me to advise you on how to have sex with our boss ?'' Raven mocked her.

But she calmed her mocking-self when she noticed Clarke's desperate expression. She had thought everything would be fine once both her friend and her boss would have admitted their feelings to each other, but she was clearly wrong. Clarke still had a hard time and Raven didn't exactly know what it was all about.

''I told her I never did it with someone I love.'' Clarke admitted, and this brought a huge answer to Raven's interrogations.

Clarke didn't want to explain why she had said such words to Lexa. She didn't feel like she could – not yet. But she felt so insecure she needed her friend's advice. ''She's Lexa Woods, Raven... I mean, you've seen the calendar yourself !'' She referred to a very body-describing photoshoot Lexa did when she was twenty-three which was used for the making of a calendar. Lexa was twenty-six years old now and she looked even more stunning. Neither Clarke nor Raven ever asked the question 'How can Lexa attract so many people ?'

Clarke sighed. ''I gave birth a few months ago. I don't even feel like my body's mine anymore.''

Raven stood up, not willing to listen to Clarke self-pity herself much longer. She pulled Clarke into a standing position and the blonde thought she was going to be kicked out again, but instead Raven hugged her.

''After everything Woods has done for you, after what she's told you recently... you still think she'd judge your physical appearance ? I've seen it, she adores you. The only one getting in your way is yourself.'' She let go of Clarke, looking at her from feet to head. ''You look amazing, Clarke. And the fact that you've given birth on your own, now parenting a baby boy, makes you even more amazing.'' She offered the young mother a gentle smile before getting her usual smirk back. ''So, want her don't you ?''

Clarke stared at her friend in confusion. Raven was comforting her, at least she was two seconds ago, to tease her better afterwards ? She looked down, uncertain of her answer. She did want Lexa, badly, she even missed her at this exact moment. She wanted Lexa's arms around her. The woman had made her realize that being protected wasn't a bad thing. Being alone wasn't an endless situation. There was always someone out there for you. And _damn_ , Lexa was Clarke's someone.

''I do. But she knows what I've done. Everyone here does.'' she paused, realizing this was a subject Raven knew about. ''I don't want her to think that's all I want her for. Hell, she's driving me crazy with her smile and terrible jokes – and I'm not even starting with her teasing, she turns me on so easily ! And don't get me started on her lips, they're so –''

''Okay, okay, I got it.'' Raven cut her off. These weren't things she wanted to know about her boss and her friend together. ''Just tell her about it. Talk. Or, I don't know, just kiss her until she faints, that would be a first for her.''

 _What ?_ Clarke was even more confused now. She had already told Lexa some of the reasons why she was insecure about their relationship. What else could she say ? Some things she wasn't ready to tell to anyone. Not even Raven.

''Just make up your mind before she leaves, otherwise you'll have to wait for two weeks.'' Raven stated, throwing Clarke's heart against the wall as the consequence of her words.

Clarke was about to ask the reason of Lexa's departure when she remembered. Every year, same month, Lexa went on a tour to visit Woods Enterprises' other headquarters. Meetings, press conferences, cocktails, charities, so many hours with Lexa taken away from Clarke. The young mother started to panick. She'd be alone with her son at Lexa's apartment for two weeks. What if something bad happened ? To her son or... to Lexa ? Or, more selfishly thought, what if Clarke couldn't spend two weeks without Lexa around ? The brunette had kept her standing for a while, Clarke couldn't imagine her life without Lexa.

Raven noticed the shade of angst that had invaded Clarke's blue eyes. She laid a hand on her friend's shoulder for Clarke to focus on her. ''Don't beat yourself up, talk to her.''

Clarke had to admit that Raven was right. She was scaring herself with made-up ideas. As usual.

''Thank you, Raven. I'm sorry you had to listen to me panicking again.'' she apologized to her friend who had been there for her a lot recently.

It felt good talking to Raven. Her friend wasn't as complicated as her. That's why she wasn't going to bother her again with Lexa issues. She had to take her responsibilities and do what her heart wanted. If anything went wrong, she could have a conversation with Lexa.

* * *

Clarke had an idea. She had made up her mind and nothing could convince her to do otherwise. On her way back to Lexa's office after a twenty-minute break in the late afternoon, she couldn't help but feel nervous. Was she even right about this ? _Stop doubting_.

She walked into the office. Lexa was standing behind her desk, near the windows, a file in her hands. Clarke walked up to the desk, hands in her pockets.

''You're leaving in four days.'' she said coldly.

Lexa turned toward her, surprised by this change of behaviour. ''Didn't you know ?''

Everyone knew, and Clarke wasn't new here. So why did she seem angry about it ?

''You're gonna leave me, just like that ?'' Clarke hissed.

 _What ?_ Lexa was confused. This was her job, she had to travel every year, not just once, Clarke knew that. How could she blame her for this ? It's not like she was never coming back.

''I only leave for two weeks, Clarke. We'll have plenty of time together when I come back.'' she calmly explained. Get angry now would be useless.

And yet, Clarke seemed to be. ''You've blamed me so much for leaving you... only to do the same thing now ?'' she stared at Lexa for a couple of seconds before getting the bedroom's key from Lexa's desk and walking toward the office's discrete room.

Lexa had felt this hateful stare on her. She had done nothing wrong. She felt her jaws clenching. She wasn't going to let Clarke go with this so easily. This was unfair. She followed her into the room, grabbing the handle to push the door open.

As soon as she stepped into the room, the door shut behind her, key turning into the lock, and something crashed onto her chest. Lexa wasn't given the time to react. She looked down at her shirt. _An... egg._ She looked up at the person one foot in front of her. She was left without any word to say. This whole scene didn't make any sense.

''I owed you this one.'' Clarke said, looking at the smashed egg.

Lexa wasn't able to think clearly. She didn't understand anything right now. And the way Clarke was looking at her was... confusing.

Clarke brought her hands up to the top of Lexa's shirt and started unbuttoning it. ''You have a meeting in fourty minutes. Better change before that.'' Her smile looked mischievious. For now, her plan was working just fine. She looked down at each button she was undoing and soon saw Lexa's well drawn abdomen. _Even better than the calendar._ Her smile grew wider as she noticed Lexa's blank expression.

''You're not mad at me.'' Lexa said with a shade of uncertainty in her voice.

Clarke got a wipe out of her pocket and started cleaning Lexa's torso. She only looked up once she was done. She saw confusion and worry into Lexa's green eyes. She had yelled for five seconds at Lexa and the brunette was already scared of losing her. Clarke didn't hesitate. She slipped her hand in Lexa's neck and brought her lips to hers. She poured her feelings into this kiss to convince Lexa the yelling part was only a trick.

''I'm not letting you go that easily.'' Clarke whispered against Lexa's lips. She pulled on the open shirt, bringing Lexa's lips against hers for another kiss. If Lexa was surprised at first, she wasn't going to complain. Her mind was off, and without remembering Clarke had already said it, she warned ''I have a meeting in fourty minutes.''

Clarke was smirking, causing Lexa's heart to go on a race. She brought her hand to the brunette's left cheek, caressing it with her thumb, while her other hand found its place above Lexa's waist, on the warm skin. She focussed on Lexa's eyes, wishing to be able to close her eyes whenever she wanted and see this green. Her smirk faded away. She had many reasons for doing what she was doing, and one of them was about fear.

''You stay safe during those two weeks, alright ?'' she told Lexa, her question sounding more like an order.

It took Lexa a few seconds to understand Clarke's words as she was in awe. No one had ever looked at her the way Clarke did. No one had cared that much. No one had considered that scared little girl hiding behind the strong independent woman. Even when she was a child and felt so lonely. Even when she was with Costia and was proud enough to believe no one could take Costia away from her because she was hers. Lexa had always been the protective one : always trying to protect others protecting herself and there was Clarke whom, despite everything she had been through on her own and the danger she was constantly facing, was protecting her.

''I promise.'' she swore. She didn't need to say more now. Her eyes showed enough sincerity.

Clarke wrapped her arms around Lexa, her fingers brushing bare skin. She felt Lexa shiver. She hid her satisfied smile by slipping her head in Lexa's neck. She started kissing the skin, slowly making her way up to Lexa's jawline and mouth. Lexa inhaled deeply in contentment. Clarke smiled against Lexa's lips.

''You better come home from your trip safe. One injury and I kick your ass.'' she warned Lexa, giving her a peck.

Lexa didn't exactly know if she should frown or laugh at this. ''Shouldn't the right reaction be taking care of me instead ?'' she whispered, looking down at the lips she wanted to kiss once more.

''I count on taking care of you before you leave.'' Clarke smirked, bringing their lips together again. She interrupted the kiss before Lexa could deepen it. She connected their foreheads, feeling Lexa's blissful breathing. ''I'm tired of freaking out. Even more of doubting.'' She couldn't help but kiss her again, quickly, keeping herself from drowning into the kiss. There was something she needed to add. ''Be my girlfriend, Lexa. So you know you have me and I know I have you.'' Her heart bumped into her chest. _Please say yes_.

Lexa looked up to the hopeful blue eyes watching her. Was she dreaming, or did Clarke want to be with her ? _As my girlfriend._ Lexa had rejected this kind of relationship for years, drowning her sorrow into work. She had come to the conclusion that no one really wanted her anymore, because she couldn't show the real her. She wasn't as strong or as serious as the Lexa Woods the world knew. She was scared to spend her life in this dark world where people died so easily. Where Costia had died because someone had said she didn't belong here. Where her parents never really loved her. It had been an illusion. Until she met someone similar to herself, yet so different. Someone who had opened her eyes in many ways. Did Lexa want to spend her life with Clarke ? If it seemed too soon to tell, she did. Today she had the confirmation Clarke didn't want to leave her, and that didn't bring her hope, it brought her joy.

She surrounded Clarke with her arms, embracing her as if Clarke was the only one who kept her standing. She was about to cry. This past year, she had only cried for Clarke. Not _because of_ her, but because of everything that happened to her and had been so difficult to counter.

''You have me.'' she stated, lifting Clarke from the ground. She joined their lips and Clarke responded passionately, crossing her legs around Lexa's waist to steady them.

They both smiled, their lips still pressed together. Clarke pushed Lexa's open shirt down the brunette's arms. It fell to the floor. Clarke could feel her newfound girlfriend's contracted muscles. She knew she couldn't fall because Lexa was holding her tight.

''Bed.'' Clarke interrupted their kiss to whisper.

Lexa obeyed. In this moment, if Clarke told her to jump out of one of her office's windows, she'd do it without thinking. This relationship could be dangerous if Lexa didn't know Clarke better.

Clarke would never attempt to hurt Lexa. Not after their long exhausting war. Not after they had both found what they missed in each other.

Lexa laid Clarke on the bed and was pulled by the blonde's arms. Laying on top of her, Lexa aimed for Clarke's neck. The blonde moved her head to her side to make room for Lexa's lips. She brought her hands to the brunette's back, seeking contact with the warm skin. Lexa found Clarke's lips again and they wished they could stay like this forever. But this couldn't last.

Lexa had to prepare for the next meeting. She sat next to Clarke, holding her hand. She didn't want to lose her contact. Not now. Not ever. But she had to.

She felt Clarke's arm sneaking around her waist again. The young mother laid her head on Lexa's shoulder. ''Don't come home late tonight. I'll help you catch up with work tomorrow if you need. Just...'' she raised her head to press her lips against the brunette's cheek, staying a few seconds, both women closing their eyes to enjoy the simple contact, before she pulled away.

She stood up and got a clean shirt out of the furniture. Lexa followed her, but when she held out her hand for Clarke to give her the shirt, the blonde didn't hand it. Instead, she did what she had done a few minutes ago, but reversed. She buttoned the shirt as slowly as possible, enjoying each intimate second with Lexa. Disappointment startled her once she was done.

Lexa noticed it and brought a hand onto Clarke's cheek. ''I won't work too late. I promise.''

Clarke pouted, still not willing to let her girlfriend go. How could this moment be so short ?

''Should I be worried about my poor eggs trapped into my fridge at home ?'' Lexa tried to make her laugh. It didn't work. Clarke kept pouting, feigning to be offended. She freed herself from Lexa's grip and turned around, her back to the brunette. She unlocked the door, ready to leave the room, but Lexa gently grabbed her wrist. ''I didn't mean in a bad –'' Lexa started to apologize but Clarke turned to face her and threw herself into her arms to kiss her without hesitation. She made sure to nip Lexa's lower lip for the brunette to get out of here with swollen lips.

''Good luck with your meeting.'' she smirked after releasing Lexa. She left the room and went back to her desk to finish her work.

Lexa watched her, lips parted, eyes wide, admiration flooding through her veins. It was maybe too soon to admit, but she was sure of it – the feeling increased day after day – and no one could convince her otherwise. Clarke was the one for her. Clarke was now her girlfriend. And Lexa had a feeling Clarke was to be more in the future.

* * *

Clarke left the office around 7:30pm. She had waited half an hour for the corridors to be free from the usual wave of people who left the building at 7pm. She was surprised to see Raven getting into the elevator on her way down. Her friend was about to say 'hi' when she noticed something on Clarke's neck by placing herself at the blonde's right.

''Something tells me you had a very good afternoon.'' Raven teased.

Clarke turned her head toward her friend, frowning, and saw Raven's eyes looking down at her neck. She abruptly brought a hand to cover it. ''Oh no.'' She looked on her left at the mirrorlike wall. Her hand off of her neck, she saw the mark only Lexa could have left there. ''She's gonna pay for that.'' she hissed.

''Oh I bet she will.'' Raven smirked, reminding Clarke of her presence.

Clarke wanted to yell a 'It's not what you think it is.' but it was definitely what Raven surely thought it was. ''We didn't do it though.'' she said out loud, regretting it right away. ''She had a meeting.'' she added, not wanting Raven to believe she had freaked out again.

''What did you do to deserve this kind of attention ?'' Raven pointed at her friend's neck.

''I smashed an egg on her shirt and took the latter off.'' Clarke calmly answered. She was trying not to laugh at this, but the addition of Raven's shocked expression broke her seriousness off. Her friend didn't seem to believe her so she told her about the first time she had crashed an egg on Lexa's head.

''Wow, she must really love you. You're still alive to tell that story !'' Raven said, stopping. They had walked out of the elevator and out of the building. It was time for them to separate.

''Well, she's officially my girlfriend.'' Clarke proudly said, unable to keep her joy inside. ''I mean, officially for us – the world can't know about us. Not yet, at least.'' she precised, implying for Raven to keep this a secret. Her friend nodded and they said goodbye to each other. They both had a home to go back to.

* * *

Clarke was taking off her shirt after Aden had thrown up on her when she heard the door unlocking. Aden still sitting on her thigh, she only had time to bring the dirty shirt against her belly. Lexa appeared in the apartment and she raised a brow when she discovered Clarke.

The young mother stood up and justified ''Aden puked on me.'' she walked straight to the bedroom and laid Aden into his bed before getting a clean shirt and going back to the living room. At the meantime, Lexa got out of the kitchen with a bottle of red wine and two cups. She sat on the couch, soon followed by Clarke.

''Are you willing to get me drunk ?'' Clarke seriously asked, staring at the bottle set on the coffee table.

Lexa smiled. She took her time to pour the wine into both cups, waiting to be done to answer. ''You didn't have to put a shirt back, you know. I don't mind you being shirtless around here.'' she smirked.

Clarke laughed out loud, taken by surprise. She didn't expect Lexa to go straight to flirting, but she knew she should've, because it was _Lexa_. She grabbed her glass and drank half of it, letting a long sigh out after putting the glass down. ''I don't think it's ever gonna be enough to forget this terrible line.'' She turned her head toward Lexa and the brunette's glance dropped onto her lips.

''Maybe you should try something more effective then.'' Lexa said, staring down at Clarke's mouth with her famous confidence burning Clarke on spot.

Clarke took the bait and moved closer to Lexa, slipping a hand in the brunette's neck. She drowned in the feeling of Lexa's skin under her fingers, caressing it gently. ''Will you make me disappear as fast as you took Nia out?''

Lexa searched for teasing in Clarke's eyes but all she could see was concern. She took the blonde's other hand in hers in a reassuring gesture. Clarke had to understand that they weren't in danger. ''Things go fast. I didn't want to put your secret at risk. But...'' she lifted the hand she was holding and laid her lips on the back of it. She put the hand back down, covering it entirely with both of her hands to keep it warm. Sense of protection. ''You have to trust me. I can keep us all safe.''

 _Us_. This sounded amazing to Clarke's ears. She moved her hand from the brunette's neck to her cheek. She did feel safe, though she was scared of losing her. ''There's Aden and there's you, Lexa. No one else.'' She shot a glance at the soft lips waiting for her to kiss them. She badly wanted to, but she waited for an answer.

Lexa was being overwhelmed by feelings she had dreamed of having her whole life. Clarke had brought her all of them. Around Clarke, she felt safe, warm, joyful, and most of all, cared about. To the world, she was one very important person because of her career and personnality. But to Clarke, she was a young woman, normal yet special. They were family.

Without thinking about it, Lexa leaned and kissed Clarke, pulling the blonde against her. Clarke drowned in this embrace and it was only a matter of seconds for her to be lying on top of Lexa.

Clarke licked Lexa's lower lip, seeking passage for their tongues to meet. It was their way of telling each other unspoken words. Lexa exhaled deeply, bringing Clarke closer to her – if that was possible. Clarke had needed money, and safety for her son, but she never thought she would need someone more than anything else. Especially not this someone.

She sighed, her lips trembling at the thought that she had Lexa's arms around her. It occured to her that there was nowhere else in the entire world where she would be safer. Her hands closed on the brunette's shirt, Lexa biting her lip in response. Clarke's grip on the top tightened and she pulled her head back, Lexa already aiming for them once more.

Clarke's hand lost itself in the long brown hair. She wanted much more. ''Bed,'' she murmured, and it didn't take long for Lexa to lift her up. She buried her face in Lexa's neck, tasting the skin, while the brunette carried her to the guest room. Her legs didn't leave Lexa's waist when the latter laid her onto the bed. She draw each detail from Lexa's face with her index finger. She wanted to remember everything. Being able to draw this face as if she had Lexa in front of her. Being able to feel her presence even when she was alone.

Lexa was looking in Clarke's eyes, wondering what the blonde was thinking. She never managed to understand her and if it had been an issue a while ago, when Clarke was in trouble, today it was exciting. She had been surrounded by illusions for a long time, now she finally felt like she had someone real in front of her. And Clarke couldn't be more real.

''I want to do this because I love you.'' Clarke stated in a whisper. She wanted to make sure Lexa understood this was serious to her. Both women had a certain reputation but tonight wasn't about sex, it was about love.

''I know.'' Lexa whispered back. She leaned to kiss her again, intoxicated by the taste of Clarke's lips. She exhaled when she felt two hands sneaking in her back, under her shirt. Brushing her skin, Clarke's hands pulled the shirt up and off of Lexa. She let it fall on the floor, not bothering about it. Lexa did the same, and they took off each other's bra, seeking for contact. The whole place exploded around them, a ring of fire consuming the two bodies. Clarke tried to rip off the brunette's pants but Lexa started scattering kisses on her body, making Clarke's breath more and more unsteady when her lips brushed her breasts.

Lexa lifted up a bit to look at the half naked blonde underneath her, but Clarke stopped her, laying a hand onto the brunette's cheek. Lexa interrogated her.

''Don't look.'' Clarke's insecure voice ordered. But Lexa had an idea of the reason why Clarke didn't want her to look down, so she did anyway. On Clarke's belly's sides, blue stretch marks due to her former pregnancy. Lexa caressed each one of them with her thumb before laying her lips on them. ''You're gorgeous, Clarke. Don't even try to tell me otherwise.''

Clarke's eyes filled with tears which never dropped because as soon as she heard those words, she pulled Lexa into a long and passionate kiss, taking off all remaining clothes to finally unite their bodies. She surrounded Lexa's waist with her legs, her hands discovering the brunette's back.

Her chest against the other, she could feel Lexa's heart beating as fast as hers. _Is it even possible ?_ Her hands slid down her girlfriend's back, meeting new parts of Lexa's anatomy. The latter had her head hidden in Clarke's neck which she was nipping, getting a moan out of Clarke. She started moving against her, letting her feelings guiding her. Something she hadn't done for years.

''More,'' Clarke begged between two heavy breaths.

And Lexa would give her that. She would give her everything.

* * *

They had time for two rounds before Aden's cries brought them back to reality. Clarke kissed Lexa's cheek several times, more than she could count, and intended to get up but Lexa stopped her.

''Stay here. I'm taking care of him. I haven't spent much time with him lately.'' she said.

Clarke was surprised. She was used to take care of her son and didn't expect Lexa to do it, especially not tonight. She wanted to ask the brunette if she really wanted to do it, but Lexa reacted first. She leaned to kiss her, taking in the blonde's delicious flagrance, and added ''He's the only man I actually like.'' She winked and stood up, Clarke obviously looking up and down her girlfriend. She left the room and Clarke let out a relieved, happy sigh. She still felt like she was resting on a cloud. Lexa was perfect. She respected her in all ways possible. _Now I know where she gets her reputation from._ she shivered at the thought.

In a little while, Lexa would come back to her. Tonight was far from being over.


	26. Chapter 26

Clarke woke up to the sound of Lexa's alarm. It was 8pm. They hadn't slept much. The brunette, half lying on her, wasn't awakening. Clarke smiled, surrounding Lexa's waist with her arms. She watched at the sleeping beauty not bothered by the alarm. Clarke turned it off and brushed Lexa's hair out of the brunette's face to wake her up with kisses on her forehead.

At first, Lexa frowned, but then she seemed to be remembering where she was and what was happening because she smiled widely and buried herself into Clarke's body, their naked skins shivering at the contact.

Even though Lexa was incredibly cute, Clarke thought of getting her revenge. ''Lexa, you're gonna be late at work.'' But it didn't work. Not even the slightest bit. Lexa had her face buried into her neck and Clarke started getting the sweet feeling of lips against her skin. _So she is waking up_. She bit her lip when the brunette's lips tightened on her skin. From this point, she knew she'd spend the day with a new mark on her neck. Raven could mock her again. ''Lexa !''

The other woman didn't listen to her, so Clarke abruptly reversed their positions, discovering Lexa's smirk and dark but tired eyes.

''Not tired enough I suppose ?'' Clarke murmured, unable to talk louder. She didn't want to break the calm of this moment.

''You did exhaust me.'' Lexa answered jokingly.

Clarke shut her up with a kiss, feeling Lexa's smirk against her lips. She aimed for her girlfriend's neck, trying to get her revenge, but she didn't have enough time to leave a mark because Lexa reversed their positions with more energy than Clarke had done a few seconds ago. She brought their lips together again, deepening their kiss. Clarke inhaled deeply when she felt Lexa's hand sliding up the inside of her thigh. Even though her lower belly was screaming for this, she had to stop Lexa.

''I gotta take care of Aden and you need to go to work.'' she said, getting a disappointed sigh from Lexa. The brunette didn't give up, though, and Clarke complained, unable to physically stop her.

''Lexa...'' she murmured, filled with pleasure. Lexa's lips smiled against her jaw.

''I'm pretty sure the boss won't say anything about us being late.'' she answered, her soft voice arousing Clarke more than she already was.

Clarke's body was tembling under Lexa's control. How many times had they done it last night ? Yet it still wasn't enough. Yet it was different every time.

Lying next to her, Lexa was contemplating the woman she shared so many feelings with. She wanted to take care of her in all ways possible, but Clarke wouldn't let her. Clarke was a strong-minded independent woman, something Lexa loved, but sometimes hated. Clarke could be more stubborn than her, and it had almost broken them in the past. But love had decided otherwise.

''I'm going for a bath, are you coming ?'' Lexa softly asked, caressing her lover's belly with one gentle hand.

Clarke was still going down from her high, and she would've said yes if the word 'bath' hadn't painted her mind red. She stiffened, taking a second to steady her breath before anger would kick in, and stood up to put a long shirt on.

''Clarke ?'' Lexa called. How could taking a bath together be wrong or dangerous ?

''No. Bath.'' Clarke answered before getting out of the room to join her son in Lexa's room. She couldn't think of the water, of drowning, after what had taken place in the guest room last night, _all_ night. It had been amazing, perfect, and nothing negative should come to her mind right now. That's why Clarke had gotten out of the room so quickly. Lexa knew Clarke couldn't lay a foot in the water. She had had to expect this reaction.

Clarke took some time alone with her son. She heard Lexa leave the place. She would talk to her this afternoon at work. She was aware of her uneasiness and didn't want Lexa to think last night was only a one-time thing, that Clarke wasn't serious with her. There were just some points Lexa had to step on carefully, because Clarke couldn't control them herself.

* * *

Clarke had to wait for Lexa to come back from a meeting. She was anxious. First she had worried about her son all morning after taking him to the doctor for a vaccine, and now she was worried about Lexa being mad at her. Clarke had reacted a bit harshly this morning, she wasn't easy to live with, but she wanted to make things good with Lexa. Living with the brunette, sleeping beside her, was more than what she had ever wished for.

''Lexa !'' she let out a relieved sigh when she saw the CEO entering the office.

She stood up and walked to her so fast she would've been running if the distance separating them had been bigger. She threw herself in Lexa's arms, surprising the latter who closed her arms around her girlfriend's waist.

They both enjoyed the other's embrace before Clarke decided to explain herself.

''I know I keep freaking out, but I don't want my past to come in our way.'' she whispered, immediately feeling Lexa's grip on her soften. A hand slipped in her hair, and Clarke laid her head on the brunette's shoulder.

''It's okay, Clarke.'' She comforted her with a kiss on the forehead, but was quickly brought into a confident kiss. Once they were separated, Lexa smiled wildly. ''I take that as a 'yes, I did enjoy last night', or am I wrong ?''

Clarke walked back to her desk, fighting the urge to kiss Lexa again. ''It was fine.'' she casually said, head turned toward her computer's screen. She felt Lexa's blank stare on her and couldn't keep her smirk back. ''Don't worry hot stuff, you keep up to your reputation.'' She winked, but Lexa's facial expression didn't change.

 _She called me 'hot stuff'._ Lexa was dumbfounded. First she had thought she had done Clarke wrong, but it occurred otherwise and Clarke was _really pretty today_ ! _She likes me._ Lexa blinked a couple times, feeling absolutely dumb, but Clarke's hand slipped in hers, bringing her back to reality, and pulled her to her desk. Clarke made her sit, laid a soft kiss on her cheek and gently said ''I'm gonna get you a coffee.''

Clarke disappeared in the corridor and Lexa felt like she was freely floating in the air. A sensation only Clarke could bring.

The latter's comeback was the only thing that could get Lexa out of her _rêverie_. Clarke took advantage of Lexa's current state of mind to sit on her lap after having laid the hot cup of coffee on the brunette's desk. She didn't fight the urge to kiss the tanned skin, slowly laying her lips against the brunette's cheek, going up her jaw to slide down underneath her ear, aiming for her neck.

''Hm,'' Lexa melted into the woman's kisses, letting the blonde take control, even though the situation wasn't exactly the right one for this kind of activity. ''you won't wait for tonight, won't you...'' she whispered, her whole body agreeing with whatever Clarke wanted to do to it.

''We can't tonight,'' she murmured between two warm kisses, ''I'll be staying with Aden, in case he doesn't react well to the vaccine.''

It took Lexa a dozen of seconds to be able to react to Clarke's sentence. She slipped a hand under her desk, pushing some button, and pulled Clarke closely against her, lifting her up to carry her up to the bedroom. ''I guess we can make it up now.'' She felt the blonde's lips nipping her neck, a welcomed approval.

Lexa liked having Clarke in her arms, but she had to admit that getting the key and opening the door while carrying a woman was far from being easy. She had used her core, though, and had managed to not drop Clarke. The latter had kept teasing her and, for this reason, Lexa took control as soon as Clarke was laid on the bed. She avenged her own neck by aiming for Clarke's from the start. She brought her hands into Clarke's, pulling them up Clarke's head, which made Clarke stiffen. Lexa thought it was the good kind of stiffening, but Clarke freed her head from Lexa's lips, trying to free her hands.

Lexa lifted her head, confused, seeking for clues on what she had done wrong in the charming blue eyes currently filled with discomfort, shaded with fear.

''Please don't do that.'' she begged in a whisper, and Lexa let go of Clarke's hands, figuring it was what had made Clarke react this way.

''Tell me what to do then.'' Lexa answered, only wanting to be good to Clarke. Freaking her out was out of her to-do list. Clarke brought a hand to her cheek, warmth invading Lexa's face and, soon enough, heart. From this moment she didn't see any fear in the blonde's blue eyes, but only awe and love. More love, actually.

''I don't want you to own me. I want you to love me.'' Clarke simply answered, fighting back the bad memories. Saying those words, she obviously thought of Finn. An unhealthy relationship she clearly wanted to forget.

And Lexa was definitely going to help her with that, because she was already kissing her neck up to her ear, in the softest way Clarke had ever felt. Brushing her lover's ear, Lexa stated ''It's not gonna be so hard loving you because...'' she laid a quick but gentle kiss behind the blonde's ear and whispered ''I do love you, so, so much, Clarke Griffin.''

She was ready to lay a couple other soft kisses on the pale skin but Clarke pushed her back to face her and grab her neck to bring their lips together. Clarke needed their lips to connect, to mix up, to merge until they were breathless, until only death could separate them, and they would play with that fact, over and over, because nothing else in the entire world felt better than their lips touching with such passion.

She pulled Lexa's waist against her, seeking for more contact, and placed the brunette's hands on her chest so Lexa knew she was free to touch her. Lexa didn't need more clues to start unbuttoning Clarke's shirt, her hands slightly trembling. She had always been confident about this, knowing the effect she had on others, but it was different with Clarke.

Clarke was special.

Lexa wanted to make Clarke feel how important she was through her kisses. She laid her lips on Clarke's belly, kissing it with care, almost thanking it for having held Aden safe until he was ready to be delivered into this world.

Clarke was agitated, opening and closing her eyes, overwhelmed by the feelings Lexa brought her by touching and kissing her with as much passion as care. It didn't take so long for Clarke to inhale deeply at the contact of Lexa's lips on her thighs. Lexa wasn't rushing, but she wasn't taking her time either. Clarke had been ashamed of her own body for so long, yet it had taken Lexa one nearly-full day to change her mind. Clarke could feel every inch of her body under Lexa's control. But it didn't feel like Lexa was controlling her.

Far from it. It felt like Lexa was carrying her high above. The brunette's name escaped her lips. For once, she had said it out of love. When she was with Finn, her first and only boyfriend, she had said his name more times than she could count. But never out of love.

She stopped thinking, Lexa keeping her mind away in the best way possible. This feeling, she could never let go of. She felt safe and free, belonging into Lexa's arms.

She was coming back to reality when she felt Lexa lying beside her. She turned her head, opening her eyes, and noticed Lexa's bright eyes watching her with a glint of lust. She looked down at her own body, her shirt was open and her pants were off. She had barely noticed her clothes going off under Lexa's gentle yet confident control.

She tried to steady her breathing, feeling even warmer than last night, but still managed to turn toward Lexa who was smiling at her. Lexa looked proud of herself, but also amused, a look betrayed by the way she was looking at Clarke. Careful love.

Lexa really hoped Clarke was going to be okay without her for two weeks. Clarke could take care of herself, but she was also blaming herself for so many reasons Lexa was afraid Clarke would do something bad during her absence.

She grabbed Clarke's hand as carefully as possible, without ever stopping to look at the so-loved blue eyes.

''You're gonna take care of yourself while I'm gone, right ?'' she asked, letting Clarke discover a desperately vulnerable Lexa Woods.

Clarke melted into Lexa's behaviour. She had already fallen for Lexa, but apparently not enough, because she was still falling down, the ground still far, _far_ away from her. Her fall felt more like flying. She was flying for Lexa.

''Of course. Aden and I will be fine.'' she truthfully answered.

Obviously, she had brought Aden to her answer. Lexa wasn't surprised. The little boy was more important to Clarke than herself. And that was what worried Lexa the most. Clarke didn't care about herself, only her son – and now Lexa, too – mattered. Lexa didn't want to leave Clarke for the two longest weeks of her life, but she couldn't cancel this tour. Her empire wasn't going to collapse with her still alive. She could manage both her job and her private life.

She nodded, hoping Clarke was right, and looked away to hide her sadness over her soon-to-come departure. _It's only two weeks, Lexa, calm down._ She lifted her body up into a sitting position. She had to go back to work.

''What are you doing ?'' Clarke asked. She didn't want this moment to end now.

''I've got work to do. I'll try not to come home late tonight, so we can spend some time together before going to sleep.''

But Clarke had decided otherwise. She pushed herself up to grab Lexa's wrist and pull the brunette down on the bed, taking advantage of Lexa's confused mind by sitting on her lap.

''If you think you're gonna go away that easily...'' she leaned to take Lexa's lips with her own while her hand started discovering Lexa's body once more, opening the shirt and pants to get access to the tanned skin that made her shiver so much.

''Hm,'' Lexa gasped, surely not against this plot twist, ''I'm the boss I have to go ba –''

Clarke shut her up with another kiss, something she knew how to do very well, before sleeping her hand between the brunette's legs.

''I don't see any boss here, I only see my girlfriend.''

All of this combined was enough to make Lexa accept her delightful fate.


	27. Chapter 27

Two weeks. Two terribly long weeks.

Lexa was way too excited to come home and she was trying to not yell at her driver. _Faster._ Soon, she'd be back to her nice private building, would enter and climb the stairs faster than ever. Soon, she'd see Clarke again. _Two goddamn weeks !_

Of course she had called Clarke every day ! But lately, Clarke had been vague about pretty much every topic they had talked about, even the silly ones. Lexa was worrying. Clarke had assured her she was fine, and she had even thanked her for asking, which obviously brought Lexa more suspicion.

Clarke had been working at home, Lexa's office being closed in the CEO's absence. She had stopped by week one to get a file she had forgotten on her desk and Lexa's office assistant had let her in. She had learnt a lot about the woman. The assistant was Lexa's age. They were in high school together but had never been friends. They had gotten to know each other working on a biology project. They remained in good terms for the end of high school but never kept contact, both of them being from different worlds and enjoying it this way, until they met again not long after graduating college. The assistant was looking for a job in this town to stay close to the nursing home her mother was and cover for all costs. Lexa had offered her the job, willing to help and in need for an assistant. When the woman's mother died, she decided to stay, liking her job and the simple life she had outside of work. Even though they were never friends, she and Lexa trusted each other.

Before the assistant told Clarke, she was the only one who knew about the warning button under Lexa's desk, the one that warned her when Lexa was not to be disturbed.

Lexa couldn't hear whether or not her apartment was silent because her heart was beating fast. She opened the door, noticing right away the cardboard boxes scattered all around the place. She stepped forward, closed the door and laid her bag onto the floor. The only light came from the right side of the living room.

Looking closely at a few boxes, Lexa noticed they were all about baby stuff. She found the young mother sleeping on the couch, a baby monitor stuck between her hand and her head, against her ear. _Oh, Clarke..._

She noticed two bottles on the coffee table. One milk-dried baby bottle and one bottle of red wine. Lexa kneeled in front of the couch, laying a hand on Clarke's shoulder to shake her as gently as possible. It took a moment for Clarke to open her eyes. Clarke seemed tired, barely realizing Lexa was back even though she was looking right at her.

''Someone is drunk.'' Lexa tried to tease, only getting a small pout from Clarke.

''Am...not...'' the blonde stammered.

''Really...'' Lexa leaned in to taste Clarke's lips with caution. Clarke shivered, surprised by the gesture. When Lexa rose, Clarke's hand looked for hers, already missing the contact.

''You don't just taste wine. Found my whisky stash, didn't you ?'' Lexa asked without expecting an answer. It was good she didn't, because the only noise she got from Clarke was a groan. She almost asked for Aden's location but gave up. Clarke was intoxicated, she wasn't going to be of use right now. She walked up to her room, finding the baby peacefully sleeping in his cradle. He was fine, relieving Lexa from the worry that would have stricken her if she had found the cradle empty. She looked around the room quietly. It was as messy as the living room. But above all that mess, she found a prescription. _New meds for Aden ?_ The little boy was still sick and apparently not about to get better now, but Jackson had assured Lexa he would be. Aden just needed time. Safety. Comfort. Love.

Lexa walked back to the living room with a few ideas that could explain the situation.

''Clarke...'' she sat on the floor, watching Clarke holding the baby monitor like it was the only thing that kept her alive.

That's when Clarke slightly lifted her head that Lexa noticed the tears barely glowing under the yellow light's effect.

''He's not happy Lexa...'' Clarke murmured, showing the same vulnerability which only appeared when her son was involved.

Lexa's heart missed a beat. She had never felt so helpless before she met Clarke. Before, she could hand some money and make someone happy. But Clarke always refused this kind of help. This thought brought her another question. She stood up once more and went back into her room where she opened the furniture's lower drawer. Where Clarke usually put her cash. Empty. If Lexa wasn't surprised, she was disappointed. Clarke had spent all of her money buying things for Aden.

Back in the living room, she sat where she had before and took Clarke's hand in hers. ''I thought you knew well that money doesn't make someone happy.''

Clarke's tortured face took in the comment, not able to hide her pain. She needed a few seconds to build a sentence. ''I want him... to be happy. If... if he dies...''

''He won't.'' Lexa tightened her grip on Clarke, determined to shake the intoxicated blonde. ''Clarke, he won't die.''

But this discussion wouldn't go anywhere tonight. Clarke was too drunk and sorrowed. So Lexa just laid her head on the couch, still holding Clarke's hand, caressing the blonde hair with her other hand to soothe the girl.

She'd deal with her tomorrow.

* * *

Clarke nearly fainted when she found her son's cradle empty. She didn't remember much from last night. She was pretty sure though that the apartment was messier yesterday. Her brain poured anxiety into her heart at the image of her son being gone. She stood still, staring at the empty cradle, her livid face unable to express anything. She was losing it. What the hell had she done yesterday ? She had to do something. Find him. She didn't even mind the whisky-smelling nightdress leaving her legs naked.

She couldn't move. Until she heard the door unlocking, her body rushing straight to it. Lexa. She stopped abruptly, now staring at the brunette. Right. Lexa had come back last night.

''I cleaned up the mess.'' Lexa said, no emotion echoing through her voice. She still didn't know if she was mad at Clarke for being so irresponsible in her absence. Should she ? Was it really Clarke's fault ? Partly, she assumed.

''Where is my son ?'' Clarke asked, unable to think about anything else.

Lexa dropped her keys on the furniture, now standing four feet away from Clarke. She looked closely at her girlfriend. Clarke looked tired and worried, which wasn't new, but she was also very pale, though her lips were darker than usual, and skinnier. _Dammit Clarke !_

''Aden is at my sister's. He'll stay there until tomorrow night.'' Lexa calmly stated, knowing Clarke was going to be furious about this.

And she was. ''What the hell, Lexa ?! You can't just take my son away from me !''

Lexa ignored Clarke's angry but shaky comment. This wasn't the issue. ''You could've at least kept some money to feed yourself.''

''Wha –'' Clarke let out an exhausted breath. She tottered until she could let herself fall on the sofa. ''Aden needed –''

''Nothing more than you, Clarke.'' Lexa said on a softer tone. She joined Clarke on the couch. ''His meds are to help him get better. I talked with Jackson. Your son will be okay, Clarke.'' She paused, watching Clarke carefully. The lack of reaction from the blonde pushed her into going on. ''Jackson will come check on you later today. You shouldn't have stopped taking your medication. Look at you –''

''Not hearing this.'' Clarke muttered, getting up to go wherever Lexa's judgemental speech was unhearable.

Lexa stood up right away, grabbing Clarke's wrist to pull her into her arms. Clarke stiffened but was too exhausted to even try and free herself. ''One injury and you would've kicked my ass, hm ? Well, I won't kick yours.'' She slipped a hand into Clarke's messy hair, bringing her closer with her other arm around the blonde's waist. ''I'm just gonna take care of you.'' she said with such confidence Clarke relaxed into her arms, burying herself into Lexa's body like a scared child.

Lexa walked her to the bathroom, opening the faucet for hot water to be ready when Clarke would be. She prepared a towel and clothes for Clarke who was too lost to realize Lexa was babysitting her.

''It's ready. If you need anything, call me.'' Lexa shook Clarke to keep her from falling asleep.

Clarke raised her head, confused. Nothing seemed real. Not even her legs carrying her heavy body.

Not getting any answer, Lexa walked past Clarke to the door. A hand grabbed a wrist, but this time it was Clarke catching Lexa's arm. ''Don't go.''

It sounded like a plea. Lexa couldn't go. Not even if the building was on fire. She surrounded Clarke with her arms. They stayed like this for a moment. The steam made Lexa take their clothes off and pull Clarke into the shower. Clarke didn't protest. She would've if it didn't feel as good being held by Lexa. She brought her arms around Lexa's neck, leaning to lay her head against the woman's naked shoulder.

The hot water streaming down her skin. Lexa's body against her own. The brunette's fingers brushing her back. Clarke fell asleep in a matter of minutes. Her mind knew that Lexa would keep holding her. Lexa was going to take care of her.

* * *

Clarke groaned. Why was she waking up ? Sleeping was better. _Wait. Is that... ?_ A warm body under her own. A breath on her hair. Sweet flagrance.

Clarke slightly moved her head buried in Lexa's neck. The room was dark. No light. Night ?

Lexa was breathing slowly. She was sleeping. Clarke hesitated. Should she get off of the brunette ? Lexa didn't seem to mind. Clarke groaned again, hiding her head back in her girlfriend's neck. She had just enough air to breathe. Lexa's flagrance and warmth were wonderfully intoxicating.

 _Hell I'm never moving from here._ And Clarke slid back into sleep.

* * *

Lexa stared at the clock again. Almost 8pm. Should she wake Clarke up ? The blonde had been sleeping all day. Jackson had come to check on her but refused to trouble her sleep. He didn't need to examine her anyway. He already knew what was going on. So did Lexa.

''Clarke...'' she whispered, slightly shaking the blonde's shoulder. It was time for Clarke to get up. Lexa pushed the hair out of the blonde's face, shaking her with more energy. Clarke frowned, groaned, and opened her eyes. Lexa brushed her girlfriend's cheek with the back of her hand, her heart melting at the sight of the young mother awakening.

Clarke tried to lift her body up in a sitting position, but let herself fall down on Lexa's lap. The brunette welcomed her into her arms, holding a laugh. She had to remain serious to have a conversation with Clarke.

''Come on, sleepy head. Get up !'' She pulled out, letting Clarke's body drop onto the bed. The blonde groaned in discontent, and Lexa had to keep herself from going back in that bed and cuddle her girlfriend.

Clarke got up a few minutes later and joined Lexa in the living room. She sat down on a chair a couple feet away from the table. She still looked sleepy, but Lexa knew it wasn't going to last long.

''I opened a bank account for you.'' Lexa announced straight away. ''No more cash from work. Your money will go onto that account, and I will add a certain amount of my own money every month. If you try to throw it away, I'll add more.''

Clarke's eyes widened. Now Clarke was well awake. And anger was already showing itself on her face.

''You can't decide what I can do with my money.'' Clarke hissed.

Lexa knew Clarke was going to say that. It was obvious.

''I can if you don't use it properly.'' Lexa calmly answered. A kind of calm that, when used against her, pissed Clarke off even more.

''I use my money as I want ! What the hell Lexa ! I'm an adult !''

''Really, Clarke ? Is that why you let yourself starve ?''

Clarke sighed, turning her head on her side, crossing her arms, argumentless. She had nothing to say to Lexa about this. Her son was her priority. That was it. But apparently Lexa had a comment about that too.

''You'll have enough money to buy whatever you want for your son and what you need for yourself. Aden won't be an excuse for you to disregard yourself.''

This comment made Clarke jump on her feet. Her son wasn't an excuse. He was her priority.

''Don't you dare bring my son to this !'' she shouted, ignoring any neighbour that might hear though she had never seen any.

Lexa was far from losing her composure. This argument shouldn't be. Clarke had promised she'd be fine without Lexa for two weeks and this promise had occurred to be a lie.

''I don't understand, Clarke. Your son is safe. You are safe. You can have everything you want. Why are you still putting yourself in danger ?''

Her tone didn't feel harsh or desperate. There was a thread of sorrow connecting her words. Something that calmed Clarke a bit.

''I am not.'' was the only answer Clarke could give. She never intended to hurt herself while Lexa was away. It hurt her that Lexa could think that. She wasn't sick. She was fine as long as her son was, and right now she wasn't so sure about it.

Silence filled the air for everlasting seconds. Lexa took a deep breath. She hated to do that, but she had to. For Clarke's sake, she said ''I'm reducing your amount of work hours until you consider yourself a human being again.''

 _What the fuck !_ Clarke brought her hands to her face, feeling it in order to check if she was awake. Yes, she was. And this was real. ''You can't control my life !''

This couldn't be happening. They were both adults. Yet Lexa was still playing the CEO card on Clarke. Until she got another card out of her pocket.

''Tell me how you'd feel if you came home to find me about eight pounds thinner, drunk on the couch.''

 _I'd help you. I'd tell you I love you and I'd make you lunch._ Clarke thought, saddened by Lexa's harsh reaction. ''Give me one million and I'll do as you please. Is that what you want to hear ?''

Lexa didn't understand Clarke's behaviour. The young mother was worried about Aden and anxiety blinded her. It wasn't fully her fault, but Lexa was still not going to let her throw everything they had away. She walked up to her, gently grabbing Clarke's forearms. Clarke freed her arms right away, pushing Lexa away from her.

''You need to breathe, Clarke. Calm down. Your son will be fine and you will be too.'' she tried to soothe her.

''Fine ? You took him away ! How can you want me to believe he's fine when I can't even see him !'' Clarke yelled, her eyes filled with desperate rage. She hesitated for a moment, but because Lexa remained silent, she walked around the brunette, aiming for the door. ''I'm gonna get him. Where is he ?'' She stopped. She needed the answer. She needed her son, right now.

Lexa turned around to face her, silent.

''WHERE THE FUCK IS MY SON, LEXA ?!''

Still no answer. Lexa simply approached her, her eyes showing too much calm for Clarke to foresee Lexa grabbing her waist and pulling her onto the sofa. Clarke tried to free herself yet knowing she had already lost the fight. Lexa was too strong. And Lexa was right, too. But Clarke wouldn't admit that because it frustrated her that she had tried her best to be okay with her son during Lexa's absence and had failed.

''Let me go.'' she said, her back stuck against the sofa. Lexa was holding her down, trying to bring her to her senses.

''Is it really what you want, Clarke ? For me to let you go ?'' This question had more than one meaning. Lexa's tone wasn't harsh. Or cold. Or angry. It was a simple question. Nothing really brutal. Even her hands loosened on Clarke's wrists, leaving Clarke the liberty of chosing.

Clarke tried to find something scary into Lexa's eyes but all she could see was care. She felt like she mattered. For at least one person. She mattered. Lexa was only trying to help her. Lexa _loved_ her. A wave of feelings came flooding through her veins and Clarke brought a hand to Lexa's neck in order to bring the woman's lips to hers. Surprised at first, Lexa relaxed and answered the kiss, relieved by the fact that Clarke wasn't leaving.

Clarke brought her closer, as close as possible, tearing their clothes off in chaos. Her legs parted, granting access for Lexa's hand, craving for comfort. She slipped her hands in Lexa's hair, encouraging the brunette to keep doing what she was doing to her neck. She could no more hold her moaning when she felt Lexa inside of her. She let the intoxicating brunette set up the pace. She didn't even try to take control, because today's experience revealed everything was better when Lexa was in control. Lexa didn't only keep her safe, she kept her alive. She _made_ her want to live. A faith she had lost long ago.

And even though she had fallen down in Lexa's absence, Lexa was fixing that pretty well.

''Lexa...''

The so-called brunette settled herself for her waist to lay between Clarke's legs. She watched Clarke coming back down. She could feel the blonde's shaky breath against her lips. That's when Lexa thought of moving her head to Clarke's left side, beside her ear. Caressing the blonde hair with her free hand, the other still being on the outside of Clarke's thigh, she said ''You want me, Clarke, that means all of me. Me and my company, my money, my wish of keeping you safe... all of it, no exception.''

She wasn't expecting an answer, not now at least, but after a few silent seconds, Clarke's arms and legs closed around her body, wrapping her up. Clarke let out a shaky sigh while losing a hand in the brown hair. Her eyes were closed and Lexa figured she should enjoy the moment. She let herself fall asleep on top of Clarke, both of them well settled in each other's arms.

* * *

 **As you can understand from this ending, this chapter is a turning point. Clarke can't refuse Lexa's help or money anymore, because it would be refusing her.**

 **Next chapter will be more joyful !**


	28. Chapter 28

Lexa parked her motorbike a dozen meters away from the main, huge wooden door of the Woods' mansion. She let Clarke get off of her bike before standing up herself.

Clarke took her gear off and looked up and down the house's front. Was it a mansion or a palace ? _This looks even bigger in reality !_ She had seen pictures, obviously, the Woods' mansion wasn't unknown, but she never thought she'd find herself there one day.

''So, huh, that's where you grew up.'' she said out of intimidation.

Lexa smiled. She never tried to impress anyone with her house because, somehow, she always felt ashamed of it. So big, so expensive, so ostentatious. Her father had always loved showing how rich and powerful he was, making the Woods name even bigger than Hollywood's sign.

''Yes.'' she simply answered, the sight of the mansion reminding her why she had chosen to live in an apartment. A smaller home than had still been too big for her before Clarke and Aden's arrival. She slipped her hand into Clarke's, not willing to contemplate the place any longer. ''Come on, I'll show you to your room and show you Aden's.''

Lexa had left Aden here to her sister Anya and thought it might be time for both her adoptive sisters to meet the young mother. Anya lived in the mansion with her family. They had made a big apartment out of the second floor. The first floor was for guest rooms when events were held at the immense Woods mansion.

Clarke didn't say a word. The place was huge, woods and silver crossing paths everywhere. There weren't many decorations in the hallway, which left Clarke a bit disappointed – she had thought the Woods were the kind of people to put expensive paintings on every wall, and as an art lover, Clarke would've appreciated – but nothing. Here, at least. She hadn't seen the living room yet. And she was going to wait because Lexa was dragging her in the staircase. A few steps and they turned left as the staircase split in two to offer different paths. Lexa knew where she was going Clarke hoped she wouldn't be left alone in this place.

They walked through a long corridor, Clarke losing counts of the doors on each side. Lexa finally stopped in front of yet another wooden door. She pushed the door open and pulled Clarke into the room. A room ? _A goddamn apartment !_ It was bigger than the room Clarke had rented at an awful place when she had left Lexa's apartment with her son.

Clarke stood in the middle of the room. A big size bed on the right side. Three sofas forming an almost complete square on the left side. Another wooden door a few feet away from the left side of the bed. A bathroom ?

Lexa's hand had left hers and Clarke felt lost. How could someone be so rich ? How could one have so much they couldn't even use everything while many people had nothing ?

''This is insane.'' Clarke whispered.

Lexa wasn't going to be the one to contradict her.

''Was... was it your room ?'' Clarke asked, curious to learn more about her girlfriend's past life.

Lexa was surprisingly quick to answer. ''No. My room doesn't exist anymore.'' She sounded bitter. Something she didn't want to remember ?

Clarke wasn't the one to force others into telling her about personal stuff, but seeing Lexa's expression, she thought it would be better for the brunette to let it out. She turned on her heels to face her. After a short moment of hesitation, she surrounded Lexa's waist with her arms. ''Tell me.'' She brought her closer, laying a quick kiss on the brunette's cheek to reassure her.

Lexa lowered her head, amazingly intoxicated by the smell of the blonde hair. The topic wasn't her favorite and she wanted nothing more than to forget about it. Before meeting Clarke, there would have been no way to make her talk about it. Jackson had never asked her about it. He had known. Back then, forcing Lexa to talk about it would've only made things worse.

''My room has been...'' her memories reminded her that Clarke and her weren't so different. ''I kinda did what you did to my apartment when you were drunk and mad.'' she nervously chuckled. ''But worse. I ended up lighting it on fire.''

Lexa didn't say more, but it was enough for Clarke to understand. Clarke knew about Costia. She knew how it felt to have lost someone in that plane crash. She knew how it felt to hate the man who instigated it. Lexa's father. Someone who had hurt the brunette even more than he had hurt Clarke. It was probably worse to be the daughter of someone cruel. Clarke missed her father. Lexa missed Costia _and_ hated her father who had done everything possible to make her bow to him. At least, Clarke still loved her late father. She hated the Woods but had never met them before she met Lexa at Woods Enterprises.

There was no 'I'm sorry' needed. It was useless. They already knew how each other felt. In every way possible.

Clarke tightened her arms around Lexa's waist to hold the brunette against her. ''You're okay now.'' she comforted her. Lexa almost gave into Clarke's embrace. She craved for a long nap in Clarke's arms, but things had to be done.

''You're okay too.'' she said, pulling herself out of her girlfriend's arms to look at her in the eyes. They were both safe. No reason to be scared. Lexa hoped Clarke saw that too. She found some sort of nodding into Clarke's eyes. Silent, discrete, mutual agreement. Lexa tore herself apart to break that moment.

''Aden is in Anya's apartment, second floor. I'll take you to him if you don't want to go alone. I'll introduce you to my sisters at dinner. Rest well.'' She turned on her heels and left the room before she would give in and kiss Clarke, which would only end up by an afternoon in bed.

Clarke felt it too. They always craved for each other's touch. If it wasn't obvious enough for Clarke, it was true that they couldn't live without each other anymore.

* * *

Clarke frowned, her lips forming a pout, as she was shaken by the hand of an evil monster trying to push her off the edge. She was about to fall. She tried to free herself from the hellish grip. But as she moved further away from it, she felt arms surrounding her waist to pull her back. She opened her eyes, her hands trying to push the arms away.

''Clarke ! It's me !''

Clarke stopped moving. _What ?_ She recognized the bed she had fallen asleep in earlier. Lexa's scent was all over her. The brunette let go of her, glad Clarke was finally awake.

''Nightmare ?'' she asked. The question was a bit obvious, but she wanted to make sure Clarke was back to Earth.

Clarke nodded. ''More like a weird dream, actually.'' She sat, feeling fresh air brushing her bare skin. She had slept in her underwear to keep her clothes from getting mussed. She looked at Lexa and swore she saw the brunette's stare fall down to her chest before rising up again. She smiled, showing Lexa she got busted. The brunette blushed and looked away. Lexa wasn't the looking-away type. She was the confident one. But with Clarke, it was different. There were these moments where Clarke could make her lose her composure with one glance.

''Well, dinner is ready. You coming ?'' she asked, standing up.

Clarke would rather keep Lexa in her bed, but she had apparently slept all afternoon and she had promised Lexa she would have dinner with her sisters. There was just one little thing...

''What am I supposed to wear ? I forgot to bring a decent outfit.''

Lexa looked at the chair on which Clarke's clothes were lying. She raised a brow. _Decent...?_

''Your outfit is fine. My sisters don't care much. Actually, I'm pretty sure Luna will be wearing sporting pants, she likes being comfy.''

Clarke frowned. The Woods were rich, weren't they supposed to wear fancy clothes all the time ? Wait. Sporting pants ? _What an odd family !_

She left the comfort of the big warm bed to get her clothes and get dressed. She knew she was making Lexa uncomfortable, because the brunette was trying to not look at her. Pulling her pants up, Clarke teased. ''You do realize we're together, right ? You can look at me all you want.''

Lexa's cheeks reddened, something that would've made her look like a tomato if her skin wasn't tanned. She was trying to find her way out. She didn't like being vulnerable. She didn't like losing anything, her composure included. ''I'll wait for you outside.''

But she didn't have time to leave because a blonde head appeared in front of her, blocking the way to the door. Without a hint of hesitation, Clarke brought their lips together. She had missed it. Hours without Lexa felt like a decade. The two weeks without her had been even worse as they had resulted in Clarke getting drunk to keep her anxiety out of her way.

''Much better.'' Clarke whispered after ending the kiss she had longed for.

She took Lexa's hand in hers and pulled her toward the door. ''Let's go !''

Clarke couldn't wait to be done with this dinner so she could get Aden back. She hadn't left her room this afternoon because she didn't want to be found by one of Lexa's adoptive sisters. She already had to meet them for dinner, she didn't need to be found alone by them.

* * *

It was a good thing Lexa was holding her hand because she was nervous as hell. This big mansion was far from being her world and she hoped Lexa's sisters weren't about to judge her. They already knew she had a baby boy whom she tried to abandon. She was only twenty-two. Did they know she was undocumented ? They were Woods. Clarke could only hope they were more like Lexa than their father. But Lexa wouldn't have brought her here if her sisters weren't nice, right ?

A large table was set on the right side of the living room, close enough to the kitchen's doors, but only four plates were waiting for them in the middle of it. The white tablecloth surprised Clarke. She didn't expect the Woods to use a color that represented purity.

They stopped in front of the table, Clarke looking in every direction in order to see anyone coming in. Soft lips brushed her cheek and she turned her head toward her girlfriend.

''It's gonna go well, don't worry.'' Lexa reassured her.

Clarke was still anxious, though, and her heart skipped a beat when she heard the voice of a woman echoing through a room.

''First, Lexa has a girlfriend, then she accepts having dinner with us here.'' She walked up to Clarke, watching her with sharp eyes before giving away a smile. ''There she is, finally. Anya Woods, hi.''

Was she being friendly or was she testing her ? Anya Woods wans't reknown for her friendly behaviour toward anyone. But neither was Lexa, yet Clarke had found out the fierce CEO could be a total jerk. A jerk Clarke was in love with. _A jerk not so hateable, huh._

''Hello.''

Simple answer. Anya looked at her for way too long in her opinion. She almost felt relieved when the woman's stare moved to fall on Lexa. Almost.

''I thought the one who have broken into my sister's heart would have more confidence.'' Anya said, gaining an amused smile from Lexa.

 _So they really are sisters, huh._ Anya wanted confidence ? Clarke did have some, somewhere. ''I'm only confident when it comes to kicking your sister's ass.'' she told Anya, frustrated to appear so weak in the eyes of another Woods.

Lexa swallowed hard. She clearly hadn't expected this kind of answer from Clarke. Usually, people respected them. Anyone introduced to any Woods would at least talk politely to them. But who was she kidding ? _She's Clarke !_

''Way better.'' Anya smirked, noticing the look on her adoptive sister's face. She wasn't against some rudeness if it meant shaking her sister. Lexa had been so lonely for years, not even Anya had been able to filter the sorrow from Lexa's blood. Furthermore, Anya Woods hated hypocrisy. People at her feet pretending to love and admire them in order to get money and fame. Gross. From what she had heard, Clarke wasn't one of these people. Maybe she was the one for Lexa, after all.

''Sit, both of you. Luna will be down in a few minutes. She's very fond of your son, Clarke.'' Anya added.

They all sat. Clarke's mind exploded at the mention of her baby boy. ''How he is ?'' She missed him. She couldn't spend one day without worrying about him. She hadn't seen him for two days and hoped he didn't feel abandoned again. _It's okay baby I'm coming soon._

''He's fine,'' Anya replied, ''I took the liberty of taking him to my doctor to have another opinion. My doctor also thinks he's gonna be fine. He needs a good treatment, comfort, and most of all, love.''

Exactly what Lexa had told her, Clarke thought. She nodded. The room went silent until a man came to ask them what drinks they wanted. Obviously, they had their own waiters.

''What do you want to drink, Clarke ?'' Anya asked. Clarke realized Anya knew her name because the woman kept repeating it. How much Lexa had told her sisters about her ?

''Clarke ?''

''Huh, huh,'' she searched for the name of any drink. Could she answer one simple question ? ''water.'' _What ?_ ''Water is fine.'' She would slap herself right now if she were alone. She would've used a good drink with _a lot_ of alcohol, yet she had only been able to spill water out. What would the next step be ? Actually _spill_ water out of her mouth ? _Yeah right let's not drink at all._ Embarrassing herself was out of her plans.

But she probably already had, because both Anya and Lexa were looking at her in confusion. Drinking water at the Woods' mansion wasn't of use. Actually, drinking alcohol had always been necessary to keep yourself from getting crazy at the aknowledgement of the fact that you could never get as rich, famous, powerful as the Woods. But Clarke didn't want money, or fame, or power.

''She's right,'' Lexa supported her girlfriend, ''water's better for all of us.''

A smirk appeared on Anya's face and Lexa knew she shouldn't have said that.

''You don't want to show Clarke how fun you are when you're drunk ?''

Lexa didn't answer. It was better to avoid the topic. But Clarke was curious, now, and she was glad Anya went on.

''You see, Clarke, there are two sides of drunk Lexa. First, she gives you the time of your life. Second, you better stay with her because she dies if you stop cuddling her.''

Lexa looked down. Clarke didn't need to know about that, but it was to be expected coming from Anya. The woman had always loved humiliating her sister.

Clarke bit her lip. She was definitely getting Lexa drunk on their next day off of work.

Lexa looked for something to say, to change the topic of this conversation, but couldn't find anything. Anya's glance on her was one thing, but Clarke's ? She already knew that she was screwed.

''Hey,'' another voice echoed through the room.

 _OH MY GOD LUNA I LOVE YOU !_ Lexa yelled in her mind, hearing her inner voice pray all heavens from all religions ever.

''Hi,'' Clarke stood up, determined to do things right this time. She held a hand to Luna. ''I'm Clarke.'' She hesitated to add 'Lexa's girlfriend' but didn't want to sound like a bitch who wanted to own Lexa and show everyone Lexa was hers. Yes, she hated this kind of people.

Clarke's hand never met Luna's. Instead, the young Woods wrapped her in her arms. Lexa was right, Luna was wearing workout clothes. Clarke stiffened at first, surprised, but Luna's embrace was so soft, nothing harsh or violent, that she relaxed. When Lexa's second sister let her go, Clarke sat back on her chair, meeting Lexa's glance that seemed to be telling her ' _Hell of a tranquilizer, isn't she ?_ ' Clarke nodded with her eyes, something that she was doing more and more with Lexa. They didn't need words to speak with each other anymore.

Luna sat beside Anya. Lexa was obviously beside Clarke. They nearly brought their hands together, but the two sisters were watching them with so much attention that neither of them tried to move.

''So, Clarke,'' Anya spoke. Her other sister being here, she could finally ask serious questions, ''where are you from ?''

This was the one question Clarke hated the most, because she didn't have any answer. She shot a quick glance to Lexa who reassured her. She could tell them ? Really ? Lexa's hand slipped in hers under the table, ignoring the fact that the sisters could see them, and Clarke felt safe to answer.

''My mother is Australian. My father was French.'' she simply answered, noticing the apologetic look in Luna's glance at the use of past tense for her father.

''Where were you born ?'' Anya asked, curious to know where Clarke was from.

Clarke looked down for a short moment, ashame of being reminded she was no one. ''I don't know. We travelled a lot. We arrived in America ten years ago.''

Anya was staring at her, which was making her highly uncomfortable, but she didn't ask more about her origins. She asked a few other simple questions, nothing Clarke couldn't answer.

Clarke also learnt a few things about the Woods family, like the fact that Lexa's parents couldn't have children at first. That's why they adopted Anya. They struggled for years, Lexa's father getting treatment after treatment in order to permit him to have children, and when they finally had Lexa, the latter's father tried to have another baby. They tried for years, but it was already a miracle they could have one child. A girl. Their only child, their blood, was a girl. Lexa's father had wanted a son to inherit the company. When Lexa was eighteen, he tried to marry her to some rich boy, hoping he could get a grandson out of it, but Lexa had come out, getting her father's ire. No man would inherit the company. But after her father's death, when the Woods' only biological child inherited Woods Enterprises, Lexa did even better than any man would have done. She was not just a CEO. She was a commander. She ruled over the world. No one could stop her.

* * *

Clarke was back in her room. She was laying in bed, tired after that big exquisit meal. She had seen her son but had decided to leave him in Anya's apartment for the night. They had everything a baby needed on second floor. She heard a knock on the door and shouted an exhausted 'COME IN !'.

She wasn't surprised to see Lexa enter the room. She had hoped the brunette would join her at some point even though she had told her she didn't have much time to sleep as she had many meetings to prepare. Her trip had brought her tons of opportunities.

''Hey,'' Lexa said.

''Hey.'' Clarke invited Lexa to join her in bed, but the brunette only sat beside her. ''Aren't you coming to sleep ?''

''No,'' Lexa answered knowing it would disappoint her girlfriend, ''I have work to do. I just wanted to check on you and talk to you about something.''

Clarke was surely disappointed but tried to hide it. ''About what ?''

Lexa took a deep breath, hoping she wouldn't screw this up. ''Okay.'' she turned slightly to be able to talk to Clarke face to face. ''Anya or Luna will probably talk to you tomorrow. They will tell you things that will let you think you're going to hurt me if you stay with me. They care a lot about me, they don't want my past to come back hitting me. But it won't. I know that with you, I won't suffer. So...'' she slipped something into Clarke's hand, the blonde still looking for clues in her eyes. ''I want you to hold on to it for me. Open it only when you're ready.'' Clarke tried to look down, but Lexa brought a finger to her chin, lifting her head up. ''I love you, Clarke. It's not going to change, you're not going to hurt me.'' Clarke stared at her in disbelief. This was too good to be true. No one had ever told her such things. She had never felt as loved before she met Lexa. She looked down, discovering the tiny square box in her hand. Was that... ? ''You're the one that I want.'' Lexa surprised herself whispering.

If it seemed too obvious, Lexa insisted. ''Only when you're ready, Clarke.'' She laid a kiss on her girlfriend's forehead and stood up, wishing Clarke a good night.

''Wait. You're not leaving now, right ?'' Clarke stopped her after she found her voice again somewhere into the deep pool of emotions drowning her.

''I'm not done with work. I'll see you in the morning.''

But again, Clarke stopped her. ''Cuddle me to sleep.'' Lexa looked at her, eyebrows raised, and saw the cutest pout ever on her girlfriend's face. _Oh no, not now._

''Clarke, I've got to –''

''I won't take long to fall asleep in your arms.''

Lexa couldn't even think of one rational reason to say no to her. She joined her in bed and let her get comfortable against her. She wrapped Clarke up in her arms. The blonde had been right she fell asleep in a couple of minutes.

* * *

Clarke woke up to the delicious smell of coffee and food. She opened her eyes to discover a tray at her chin's height, set onto two wooden feet. Beside her was the best girlfriend she could ever have. Clarke thought about the box again. She hadn't opened it yet, but she already knew what was inside. Something told her she wouldn't wait too long before opening it. She turned her head toward Lexa, leaning to kiss the smiling brunette. She saw the light eyes darkened by exhaustion and brought a hand to Lexa's cheek, brushing the shadow under Lexa's right eye.

''You didn't sleep at all...'' Clarke said out of worry.

''I caught up on work as planned. I'll be fine.'' Lexa reassured her.

But a whole day of work was waiting for them. Clarke wanted to convince Lexa into taking a nap but the latter didn't even let her keep the subject on as she poured her a cup of coffee.

''Come on, we can still have breakfast in bed.'' Lexa said, a happy smile keeping Clarke from telling her how irresponsible not sleeping was.

Clarke accepted the cup. She definitely needed coffee. But something else grabbed her attention.

''Croissants ?'' Three of those pastries were laying in a little plate on the left corner of the tray.

Lexa nodded, biting her lip at the new glint of joy in her girlfriend's eyes. Clarke took one and brought it to her mouth. She loved croissants. _Shit !_

''Is it good ?'' Lexa asked, already knowing the answer. ''Can I try it ?''

''Take one.'' Clarke said mouth full, pointing at the tray. She felt Lexa's head coming closer, her lips brushing her cheek, sliding up to her ear.

''I prefer yours.'' Lexa whispered with a _fucking terribly sexy_ soft voice that made Clarke shiver. And in one second, Lexa took Clarke's croissant from the blonde's hand and disappeared from the bed, running toward the exit.

 _What the f – !_ ''You bitch !'' She stood up, not caring about the tray being pushed away, coffee spilling out on the furrs. _That was a highly comfortable bed, though._ Lexa was already on the other side of the corridor while Clarke had just left the room. _That bitch is fast !_

Running wasn't Clarke's thing, yet she followed Lexa through the house and managed to catch up downstairs, in the living room. Lexa wasn't even breathing as fast as her. She was smirking, about to bite the croissant Clarke had bitten minutes ago. _My fucking croissant !_ Clarke threw herself on the brunette, the latter tottering back until she totally lost her balance and fell to the ground. Clarke was sitting on her lap. Lexa put her hand up holding the pastry up her head, forcing Clarke to fully lay on her in order to try and get the croissant back.

Clarke was breathing really fast. Lexa was laughing her ass off.

''Give... it b – back !'' Clarke yelled in between breaths.

But Lexa wasn't done messing with her. At least until a harsh voice echoed through the room.

''Aren't there enough rooms in here ?''

They both froze. Clarke lifted herself up, dumbfounded at the sight of Anya standing a few feet away from them, arms crossed. She heard someone chewing beside her. _Hell no !_ Lexa had taken a bite of _her_ croissant. Clarke tried to snap the pastry out of Lexa's hand but the brunette was fast enough to avoid it.

''Give it the fuck back !'' Clarke yelled again, causing Lexa to laugh and nearly choke herself with the piece of croissant she was still chewing.

''Enough !'' Anya said. She seemed annoyed but, deep down, she was glad to see her sister laughing. This morning, she would've talked to Clarke about how serious their relationship was. But this whole scene showed her that it wasn't needed. Clarke was down to Earth. She was playing with Lexa in a good way. Actually, right now, it was Lexa playing with her. Somehow, Anya thought Clarke knew how to come back to Lexa. Otherwise, it would have never worked between them.

''She stole my croissant !'' Clarke yelled, still looking furiously at Lexa.

''There were two others on the tray.'' Lexa calmly stated. She had stopped laughing, regaining a calm that – she knew – would annoy Clarke even more.

''Yeah, right, you didn't need to steal mine !''

''If you may, Clarke,'' Anya put an end to their little dispute, ''you can get other croissants, or whatever you want to eat for breakfast, from the kitchen.''

Clarke pouted. She wanted her croissant. She stood up, glaring at her girlfriend. ''I had this one croissant and you took it from me.''

Lexa bit her lip. Clarke was too cute for her heart to keep beating. Was she dying ? Or would Clarke kill her later today for having stolen her breakfast ? Clarke disappeared in the other room. Lexa let herself fall back onto the wooden floor.

Anya stared at her in silence for a few seconds before commenting ''You pissed her off.''

But Lexa was still seeing Clarke's pout in her mind. She knew Clarke wasn't really mad at her. Actually, she would get Clarke her favorite lunch with a huge bouquet of different flowers – Clarke loved when things were colorful – and everything would be fine. They were used to messing with each other and they would always pretend to be mad at the other so the latter would find a new way of making their heart melt. It was a result of their strong-minded fluffy-hearted personnalities.

''Lexa.'' Anya brought her back to reality.

The brunette was smiling like an idiot Anya had never met. Clarke had definitely a nice effect on her.

''Isn't she perfect ?'' Lexa asked. She didn't really expect an answer from her sister because she didn't care about it. She was in love with Clarke and she wanted to spend the rest of her life with her. No one could change her mind about it. And yet, her sister agreed. _She agrees !_ If Anya Woods agreed, then Clarke really was _the one_.


	29. Chapter 29

**Hey,**

 **I was a bit off this weekend, that's why I'm posting late. I hope you'll still enjoy this chapter !**

* * *

Clarke crossed her arms on her desk to lay her head on them. She was just taking a short break. One minute. No more. One minute and she'd raise her head and go on with her very interesting translation. But _damn_ , her lower belly hurt ! Everything had been fine lately, so obviously her period had to kick her down. If she got better every month, the first day was always terrible.

''Clarke ? Are you okay ?'' Lexa asked from her desk.

''Fine.'' she groaned.

How convincing she was ! Lexa stood up and approached. She brushed the hair out of her girlfriend's face. She knew what was going on. Same thing every month. ''Did you get your meds ?''

Clarke was supposed to go buy them with the credit card Lexa had given her. She didn't reply, which was enough of an answer for Lexa.

''Do you at least have emergency pads or tampons ?'' Lexa asked again. Clarke didn't answer, neither did she move. Her eyes were closed, her head still settled in her arms. ''Clarke ?''

Clarke moaned. ''I forgot.'' Lexa sighed. How could you forget about getting your own medication ? But Clarke hadn't forgotten.

''Come on, let's get you to bed.'' Lexa helped her up and walked her to the bedroom. She laid her in bed. Clarke's forehead was already hot. _If only she took her medicine properly..._ Clarke's body would have been back to normal for a while now.

Lexa went back to her desk to get the emergency tampon she had in her bag. She returned to the room to find Clarke seeking her way to sleep. Her eyes were fluttering.

''Here's a tampon. You should put it before you fall asleep.'' Lexa stated.

Clarke tried to lift herself up but pain was making her head spin. She fell back down. ''Huh.'' she tried again, only to fail once more. She gave up. She couldn't beat this first day of her period. Not without her meds that she didn't get. ''Can you, huh, can you put it...''

 _What ?_ ''You want me to –''

''Your fingers have already been there anyway.'' Clarke whispered. Her jaws clenched from the pain that was crushing her lower body.

 _Good point._ Lexa couldn't hesitate anymore. She unbuttoned Clarke's pants, took them down. If the pants were fine, Clarke's underwear was already soaked in blood. She took it off and went to the bathroom to get some water and a towel. She cleaned Clarke up. The blonde had fallen asleep. She looked at her pain-stricken face and wished she could do something about it. But if she had known, she would have gotten Clarke's meds. She thought it would be easier for Clarke now the young mother had a credit card. Clarke could buy everything she needed so easily. But she hadn't.

Lexa put the tampon in place and grabbed new underwear from the furniture. She took one of the comfortable pants she liked wearing when she used to work here all night, before she had a family to go back to at the end of the day, and put them on Clarke.

She watched her for a little while before realizing she had to go back to work.

* * *

The rest of the week had been a bit tough for Clarke who had been exhausted and had fallen asleep at her desk four times in one day. Lexa understood, that's why she didn't say anything. And Clarke was still doing a good job, something Lexa appreciated.

Clarke was going back to Lexa's office, which was also her office, after her lunch break.

''Was your lunch okay ?'' Lexa asked as soon as she saw her girlfriend back in her office. She hadn't been able to eat with her, having too much work to do. They had even more meetings since Lexa's trip, many of them taking place in the CEO's office. Clarke's help was not only needed for French related meetings.

''It was fine.'' Clarke simply answered, sitting on her chair. She tried to go back to her translation right away, not giving Lexa one glance.

''What did you eat ?'' Lexa asked again. She seemed curious, but this conversation was far from being just about curiosity.

''Are you serious ?'' Clarke looked at her in disbelief. Did Lexa really need to know everything ? Lexa didn't answer. Clarke sighed. ''Tuna sandwich.''

''Funny,'' Lexa said, staring at her computer screen, ''I'm looking at your bank account right now and there's as much money as the day I gave you the credit card.''

 _Shit. She knows._ ''I ate with Raven. She offered.'' Clarke tried to justify. But Lexa also knew about that.

''I'm pretty sure Raven and her unit was sent to Chicago. I mean, I'm the one who sent them there.''

Clarke was wordless. What could she say ? She had been good at lying before, but it was over now.

''So,'' Lexa spoke again, ''care to tell me why you're not using your money ? First your meds, now food...''

Clarke thought of another excuse. Anything but the truth, she didn't want to embarrass herself once more. ''I forgot the code.''

Lexa smiled. She smiled ? Clarke swallowed hard, even harder when she saw Lexa approaching her more and more until she could feel Lexa's breath against her ear and neck.

''I don't believe you.'' Lexa whispered. ''You know why ? Because I kept whispering the code to you over and over, just like that, so you wouldn't forget it.'' Her lips brushed Clarke's skin, making the latter shiver. ''So, care to tell me the truth ?'' Her arms slowly surrounded Clarke's waist. The young mother was frozen. Another whisper made her surrender. ''Do we really need to take it to the bedroom ?''

At any other moment than this one, Clarke would've said yes. But now, she knew Lexa would make her spit the truth out in less than one minute. Better get it out now.

''I don't know how to use it.'' she muttered, her voice so low it was barely audible, even for someone as close to her than Lexa.

''What ?'' Lexa wasn't sure she had heard well.

''I don't know how to use that fucking credit card !'' Clarke yelled.

Lexa's eyes widened. She hadn't expected that. Using a credit card was so easy, how could Clarke not figure out how to use it ? ''Why didn't you try...''

''What if I do anything wrong and the card is rejected ? I don't want to be looked at as a thief or as the poor desperate girl I was. I've never really seen how people do to use it. It's not like my mom would've let me near her while using hers anyway.''

Clarke was ashamed and angry. Where she was from, there was barely enough cash to make it through the week. So a magic card with more than two numbers on it ?

Lexa wished Clarke could tell her anything straight away. If she was surprised, she also understood, she wasn't going to mock her. She walked back to her desk to grab her mobile phone.

''What are you doing ?'' Clarke asked, frowning.

''Calling Anya to ask her if she can keep Aden for the night. We're going out tonight.''

Clarke didn't know if this was a good or bad sign for her, but she was pretty sure going out with Lexa wouldn't be that bad.

* * *

Lexa stopped her motorcycle in front of a big right-angled building Clarke didn't know. She took Clarke's hand and pulled her inside the building. Music. The first thing Clarke noticed once she was inside. Very loud music. On the right side, a long bar with tables scattered around. On the left side, the biggest one, many _many_ games. Arcades games ?

''Come on !'' Lexa pulled her toward the bar and called the bartender. She chatted with him a couple of minutes. She knew him well ? She was maybe used to come to this place.

Lexa ordered two drinks while Clarke was looking around, curious to discover more about where they were. She pulled Clarke in her arms, blocking her between her and the counter. Clarke almost screamed in surprise.

''What the f –''

Lexa held Clarke's credit card in front of the blonde's face. ''Come on, time to learn.'' She couldn't see Clarke's face as she was against her back, but she could feel the surprise drawn onto her girlfriend's face. She laid her head onto Clarke's right shoulder, close enough to the blonde's ear to be able to whisper and be heard. ''I knew you wouldn't take it. So I did.''

Clarke took the card in her left hand, staring at it in confusion. She felt Lexa's arms wrap around her waist.

''What are you waiting for ?'' Lexa's soft voice whispered in her ear. ''Put it in.''

Clarke frowned. Lexa's proximity didn't help her focus. Lexa's front was completely against her back. She could feel Lexa's breath against her neck. She even felt Lexa's lips on her skin for a few seconds.

''If you don't stop I'm gonna drop that card and take you to the nearest bathroom.'' Clarke said, trying to regain her composure.

Lexa chuckled into her ear. _Shit,_ Clarke thought, _that's sexy._ She slightly shook her head and followed Lexa's instructions. The drinks were paid in a matter of seconds. ''That's it ?''

''Hm-hm.'' Lexa barely answered, her lips busy with Clarke's neck. She had had to wait for the payment to be completed before kissing Clarke again. Way too long !

Clarke almost gave in, but they weren't alone here. She pulled herself out of Lexa's arms and grabbed the two glasses. ''Thanks. For the drinks, too.''

If Lexa was disappointed, she was glad Clarke had accepted her help. Not that she had given her much choice, though. ''You mean... the drinks you bought.'' she winked and headed for a free table.

They sat and Clarke started drinking right away. Lexa hadn't let her touch any bottle of alcohol until she took her medication again. They talked lightly, and as soon as they were both done with their glasses, Clarke stood up in order to get new ones. Lexa stood up too, but she had a different idea.

''One drink's enough for now.'' she turned her head toward the gaming area.

Clarke looked at it with wide eyes. She had never played those games. ''I'd rather drink.''

''Afraid you'd lose ?'' Lexa teased her.

 _Bitch._ Clarke pouted. Was Lexa challenging her ? ''You don't stand a chance.'' _Crap. Why did I say that ?_

Lexa smirked. ''Then you won't mind a few games.'' She watched her girlfriend going from pouting to determination.

Clarke didn't know if she could win. She didn't really know those games. But she dreamt of shoving Lexa's pride down that one's throat and this was too good of an occasion. She took the risk. ''Right.''

Lexa bit her lip. ''If I win four games over six...''

''You give me your motorbike for a month.'' Clarke cut her off. Lexa's motorbike made them look badass and Clarke knew it was Lexa's baby.

Lexa looked down to keep Clarke from seeing her hesitation. But there was no way she could lose. So she accepted. ''If I win...'' she thought for a few seconds, stressing Clarke out in that very short time-lapse, ''you let me buy you a car _and_ a motorbike.''

 _What ?_ ''How would that be a loss for me ?'' Clarke asked suspiciously.

''You don't mind me buying you stuff, then ? 'Cos there's that island in the Pacific Ocean...''

''Shut up and come get your rich ass beaten.'' Clarke spit.

Lexa followed her into the labyrinth of games and let her choose the first one. A game Clarke lost. Lexa chose the second one, some miniature basketball, a game Clarke had always sucked at. The young mother lost, and she was starting to lose faith. But she won the third game, a zombie slayer arcade, and it motivated her for the last three games.

She won the fourth one, Lexa the fifth. It was all about that one last game. It was Lexa's turn to choose and she picked a weird squared dancefloor with four arrows, one indicating each direction. Top, left, bottom, right. On the screen, arrows were flying up and Clarke tried to tap each arrow on the squared floor at the time the same arrow arrived at the top of the screen. But it was too fast. The music rythm echoing through the air from the machines didn't even help her get the right moves. Beside her, Lexa was moving so easily it really looked like she was dancing.

''That's not fair !'' Clarke complained in the middle of the game. ''You've already played this game, it's only my first time !''

''You chose your three games, I chose mine.'' was Lexa's answer.

''You're cheating !'' Clarke yelled, trying to steady her breath. She wasn't even tapping the right sides ! _Dammit !_ She lifted her right arm and pushed Lexa of of her square. Lexa screamed, regaining her balance on the arrowless floor. She lifted up her chin, crossed her arms, and watched Clarke trying to get back to her score. But Clarke couldn't find the right moves.

''Even when I stop playing you can't beat me.'' Lexa said at the end of the game, grinning.

Clarke left the dancefloor frustrated. She had wanted to kick her girlfriend's ass so much it pissed her off that she failed. She looked both ways and tried the left one, starting to walk toward the exit of this huge labyrinth of games to get back to the bar.

Lexa silently followed her only to surprise her by wrapping her up in her arms at the bar.

''You better choose hell of a gorgeous car, and I'm not even talking about the motorbike.'' Clarke said, still bitter about her defeat. She turned to face Lexa who was smiling. But to Clarke's astonishment, it wasn't a smirk. It was awe. ''Lexa ?''

The brunette's glance illuminated her smile. ''I'd buy the world for you, if you'd let me.''

Clarke frowned. She hadn't expected that. It was cute, but far from her values. Actually, Clarke was convinced money wasn't the answer to life. Money was only a mean of survival. ''You don't buy love, Lexa.''

''No, but in this world you buy safety. I swore to keep you safe.''

Clarke saw how much Lexa worried about her. That's by looking in her girlfriend's eyes that she understood how helpless Lexa had felt when Clarke had pushed her away, refusing everything from her. Not even money could have made Clarke stay.

''How about you buy us a few drinks ?'' Clarke answered. She didn't know what else to say right now. She was still frustrated she had lost, but Lexa was also the best person she ever met.

''We're not getting drunk tonight. We work tomorrow.'' Lexa stated.

Clarke stared at Lexa with pleading eyes. Her lips formed a pout. Her cuteness overwhelmed Lexa who had to accept. ''One drink. One.''

Clarke smiled widely. Lexa bought two drinks, one for each, and they sat at a table. But it wasn't enough for Clarke who challenged Lexa. A challenge Lexa had to refuse. They couldn't get both drunk here. Someone had to look after the other. Lexa was glad this area was safe from any curious person ready to shoot as many pictures as possible. She used to come here a lot a long time ago. She was glad the whole world didn't know _everything_ she had done here. The world knew many things about her, but not this place. This place was safe.

''Come on, Clarke, this was your last one.'' she took the empty glass out of her girlfriend's hand and made her stand up. Clarke tried to sit back on her chair.

''No wait ! I didn't try their mojito !'' she said, grabbing the tables with her hands to steady herself. She was already intoxicated.

Lexa sighed. She had tried to pull her out of here before but Clarke was too stubborn. She gently wrapped her arms around the blonde's waist to pull her up again. Clarke seemed to have forgotten why she wanted to sit because she let Lexa guide her toward the exit. Lexa considered taking her motorbike but Clarke wasn't going to hold tight enough. She decided to spend the night at the closest motel, one she knew too. It had been useful in the past after having drunk _a lot_ at the bar.

''I'm tired,'' Clarke complained.

''We'll get to the motel soon.'' Lexa said, but Clarke's mind didn't get it.

''I need to pee.'' Clarke complained once more.

Lexa sighed. Clarke was definitely not easy when she was drunk. She had experienced it in the past but tonight she was discovering another side of drunk Clarke. She turned her head to look at Clarke but didn't see her. _Wh –_ ''Clarke ?''

''Watch around for me.'' Lexa heard coming from... cars ? Blonde hair was shining in the dark, through the glass of car windows. Was she... ? _Oh._

''Clarke, you can do that at the motel, come on !''

But Clarke wasn't really peeing, because when Lexa went to check on her after three long silent minutes she found her sleeping between the two cars where she had been hiding all along.

 _Clarke..._ she looked at the young mother lying on the floor for a moment before bringing her into her arms. Clarke didn't awake. Lexa did her best to carry her to the motel. Once they were finally into a bedroom, Lexa took off Clarke's clothes that were dirty since Clarke had rolled up on the pavement, and put her in bed in her underwear. She took off her own clothes to sleep in her underwear and be more comfortable. _Well, that evening was something..._

* * *

Lexa woke up at the hearing of someone sobbing beside her. She turned to see Clarke in a sitting position, tears streaming down her face. She lifted herself up to sit beside the crying blonde.

''Hey,'' she brought a hand to Clarke's cheeks, wiping the tears off of her girlfriend's face. ''what's going on ?''

''Where's my son ?'' Clarke said, her voice shaking showing how vulnerable she currently was.

''He's okay, you'll see him tomorrow.'' Lexa answered, trying to pull Clarke into her arms but the blonde resisted. ''Clarke –''

''I want Lexa.'' she groaned.

Lexa froze. She looked into Clarke's eyes. It looked somehow empty. Lexa looked around. It was around 3am. Clarke should've felt better after sleeping a few hours. The brunette examined the room. There, on the nightstand where she had put Clarke's clothes earlier. Clarke's meds. She looked at them. Clarke had taken her medication, as usual, but... she checked each notice. One of Clarke's meds wasn't supposed to be taken with alcohol. She called Jackson who, gladly, answered. He was working late and had accepted Lexa's call. She talked to him for a few minutes and he reassured her. Clarke, who wasn't moving but was still sobbing, would be fine in a few hours, but she was to be watched closely.

But Lexa wasn't going to let anything happen to Clarke. Neither was she going to let her drink alcohol until the end of her treatment.

''Where's Lexa ?'' Clarke cried. She was exhausted but couldn't seem to be able to fall asleep.

''I'm here, Clarke. That's me.'' Lexa took Clarke's hand in her own.

Clarke stared at her, confused, and pouted in disappointment. ''You're just a copy of her.''

 _Right._ Lexa nearly rolled her eyes. That night was going to be long.

''I want to talk to Lexa.''

Lexa laid her hand on Clarke's cheek, bringing the girl to focus on her. ''I can pass her a message. What do you wanna tell her ?''

Clarke's eyes filled with hope. She then looked panicked, trying to figure out what to say as fast as possible.

''Take your time, Clarke.'' Lexa comforted her.

The blue eyes illuminated and Clarke yelled ''I want to tell her I love her !''

Lexa smiled. _Okay that was cute._ ''I know she loves you too.''

Clarke looked deep in Lexa's eyes. She was still confused, but there was something glowing in her memories. The little square box. ''I think she wants me to marry her.''

Lexa's eyes widened, the brunette didn't expect such hesitation from Clarke. ''And... and do you ? Want to marry her ?'' Clarke was intoxicated, but Lexa needed to know. She needed to know if asking Clarke her hand would be a mistake.

Clarke's glance dropped. Lexa felt her heart pinch at the realization that Clarke may not want to spend her life with her. Not as much as she did.

''I think she just wants to get me the citizenship.'' Clarke whispered.

 _Is that really what she thinks ?_ Lexa was dumbfounded. She thought it was clear that her life was way better with Clarke in it. ''Well, I think she wants you in her life for as long as possible. And maybe... maybe she wants to keep you safe, too. How would that be a bad thing ?''

Clarke seemed to be trying to think. She couldn't do it clearly, obviously, so it ended up in her crying ''I just know I love her. I don't want her to leave me.''

''She won't,'' Lexa answered right away. ''She won't leave you.'' Her heart was aching. Clarke was intoxicated, her emotions were way too high, but it still hurt Lexa that Clarke could think she was going to leave her.

''So why isn't she here ?'' Clarke groaned.

Lexa stood up. What wouldn't she do to comfort her girlfriend ? ''I'm gonna get her.'' She walked to the bathroom, closed the door, waited a few seconds and reopened it to go back to Clarke. She sat on the bed and grabbed Clarke's hand again. ''Hey.''

Clarke looked at her with as much focus she could get and brought her hands to Lexa's face. Yes, that was her this time, not just a copy. ''Lexa...'' she threw herself in her girlfriend's arms. Lexa laid back into bed, covered with Clarke's body. She pulled the blanket onto them.

''I missed you.'' Clarke whispered against the tanned skin of Lexa's neck.

Lexa wrapped Clarke up in her arms, soothing her by brushing her back with one hand.

''Me too, Clarke. Me too.''

Clarke's chest was becoming lighter on Lexa's, indicating to the brunette that Clarke's breathing had slowed down. Clarke was falling asleep. And she should, too.

* * *

 **Okay, that last part was unexpected but the whole "You're just a copy of her" thing made me laugh. Did you like it ?**

 **See you on tuesday ! :)**


	30. Chapter 30

**Hi,**

 **Chapter 30 already ! I couldn't write as much as I wanted lately and I'm barely one chapter ahead. I hope I'll be able to get more chapters written fast, so I can keep posting twice a week.**

 **There's one big issue left to this story before we can peacefully walk toward our happy ending. You'll read about it next chapter. After that, the story will be lighter. If there are things you want to read, scenes you'd like to see, feel free to ask. I have my own ideas but I can try and add what you wish to read.**

 **Enough talking, enjoy !**

* * *

The sun was too low in the sky for Clarke to be already outside, but Lexa had to get Aden before going to work and she wouldn't let Clarke alone at the motel. That's how Clarke found herself back at the Woods mansion. She still felt dizzy but could stay awake and walk. She knew her medicine wasn't to be taken with alcohol, but she had done so drunk a while after Lexa had fallen asleep, after she had been woken up by her hurting bladder.

Lexa asked her to wait in the hallway. Clarke didn't like being alone in this huge place, but who could she meet here ? It was empty, dark and silent. At least until footsteps were heard in the staircases, a female silhouette appearing on top of the last staircase separating her from Clarke.

''Finally.'' Clarke said. She had waited for Lexa long enough.

But it wasn't Lexa.

''Hi to you too.''

''Anya ?''

The woman stopped in front of her. She was wearing casual clothes, far from what we could see her wearing at work or in magazines.

''I'm not so surprised to see you here,'' Anya said on a calm tone that reminded Clarke of Lexa, ''who wouldn't want to enjoy our pools.''

 _Pools._ ''What ?'' Something slipped into her mind when she heard _the_ word, hoping she didn't hear Anya's answer. She only stared at her girlfriend's sister, eyes wide, mouth about to fall open.

''Clarke.'' Anya called her. The woman didn't want to judge Clarke, she liked her because she didn't want to be with Lexa for the latter's status or legacy. But... coming back here so soon to use their private swimming pools ? It seemed a bit cheeky to Anya, and not in the right meaning. ''Here's the key to the inside pool.'' She handed the key to the unreacting blonde. How Clarke was going to grab the key would show her a lot about the blonde's personnality.

Clarke came back to reality with confusion and anger. ''What makes you think I want to use it ?''

Anya examined her for a second before answering. Before she spoke again, they heard footsteps in the staircases. Lexa was probably coming back.

''Lexa asked me to give her the key.''

A feeling of betrayal coursed through Clarke's veins. Why would Lexa ask for access to her pool after Clarke told her many times she couldn't set a foot in water ?

The brunette was just down the stairs, smiling, her arms empty.

 _She didn't even bring my son._ Clarke innerly complained.

''We'll get Aden in an hour, there's something I wanna show you first.'' Lexa said.

Anya raised a brow. Didn't Lexa say to her on the phone that Clarke and her wanted to go swimming ?

''Damn right there is,'' Clarke spit, ''how about you take that key and go alone, I'm gonna see my son.'' She joined Lexa on the staircase only to walk around her and get away. But Lexa grabbed her wrist to stop her.

''What's going on ? Did Anya tell you something ?'' she asked.

''Oh, you put yourself in this situation honey,'' Anya defended herself. She had to admit she hadn't expected this to happen. Everyone should be glad to be able to use some private swimming pool, so why was Clarke angry ? There's so much she didn't know about her sister's girlfriend.

In the meantime, Clarke freed her arm from Lexa's grip in order to climb the steps as fast as possible. But again, Lexa was faster than her.

''Clarke ! What's going on ?''

Clarke stopped. She had to contain herself to not push Lexa in that staircase, because she didn't want to harm her. She was just mad. ''You know being into water frightens me ! What were you thinking ?!''

Lexa's glance dropped. Anya had probably told Clarke. It wasn't her sister's fault, but Lexa had planned to convince Clarke once in front of the pool. Or just throw her in the water and save her. That would've probably worked.

''You can't be scared forever. You have to overcome it.'' She calmly said, hoping her calm behaviour would infect Clarke.

It seemed to work. Clarke was less angry, more sad. Lexa only wanted to help her. But not all problems could be fixed. Clarke's fear of the water was one of them. ''You want to help. It's nice of you. But there's nothing you can do about that. It's not like being afraid of spiders. It's like feeling like dying.''

She climbed the few stairs separating her from the second staircase and, this time, Lexa didn't stop her. The brunette would find another way of getting Clarke through her fear. The young mother couldn't stay like this forever.

''Well, I didn't expect that.'' Anya commented from the bottom of the stairs. Clarke surprised her more and more everytime.

Lexa sighed in despair. She would get Clarke in the water today. She had to. It would be safer for Clarke to be able to swim.

''Wish me luck,'' she told her sister before climbing up the stairs to go after Clarke.

She found her with her son in Anya's apartment. The blonde didn't react when she heard someone coming in. She didn't look, her back to Lexa.

''Clarke –''

''No.''

 _Right._ When Clarke was mad, Lexa had to go to the Moon and back before having a chance to talk to her again. Lexa thought for a few seconds, offering Clarke silence. Apologizing now would be useless, Clarke would only reject her. No, right now, only a harsh talk would make Clarke react.

''I lost someone too the day that plane crashed. Am I scared of the water ? No. Did I ever die going in it ? Neither.''

It worked, because Clarke stood up to face her. Aden, who had been smiling, pouted, her eyes watching his mother carefully.

''I'm not you, Lexa. I suppose living with I don't know how many damn pools helps you to not being scared of water.''

Lexa couldn't get mad. She was actually concerned and touched by Clarke's answer. Clarke had nothing to envy her. Lexa wasn't really brave. She just didn't care. After Costia's death, she had wished the pool three floors below would swallow her and never let her out again. It wasn't brave. It was reckless.

''You're right, you're not me. And it's a good thing, because I'm not in love with myself.'' Lexa surprised Clarke with this statement. She took her chance and walked the steps that separated her from Clarke. She cautiously grabbed her hand. ''Maybe... maybe you could let me give you a part of me. There's a room here that matters a lot to me. I want you to see it and not freak out. It's not a pool but... it's important to me.''

Clarke considered it. She did because Lexa had done a lot for her already and she hadn't accepted much from her. She had always been mad at Lexa when the brunette wanted to give her something, but what Lexa was talking about now wasn't about money. It was about herself. Clarke nodded. She couldn't promise anything, but she could at least see what Lexa wanted to show her. She could at least try. Because she didn't want to lose her, because she wanted to learn everything about her.

* * *

Clarke watched the room with amazement. 'Big' wasn't enough to describe it. There was a huge empty round crater in the floor. You could walk in it like you walked in the sand on the beach to get deeper and deeper into the water. But for now, it was empty.

Lexa offered her a smile. She had had the same reaction when she had discovered this room as a kid. ''This was our bathroom, to Anya, Luna and I. My parents didn't want to bother with bathing us and we were giving the maids a bad time. So they created this room for the three of us to be excited about taking a bath. We would both bath and look after each other. Just what my parents wanted.''

Clarke listened carefully to Lexa's story. The brunette was opening more and more to her, something Clarke was grateful for. They were both trying to move on from the dark part of their past, and talking about it to each other occurred to be very helpful.

''It looks like the prefects' bathroom from Harry Potter.'' Clarke commented.

Lexa didn't answer. Instead, she clapped her hands twice. Water started pouring from faucets on each side of the bath. _A bath ? A kids' pool, huh._ Clarke thought, watching the show with round eyes.

''Magic,'' Lexa winked, and Clarke would've really believed it if she didn't want to ruin her vision of magic. Because all this water filling the pool was already making her feel dizzy.

The pool – well, the bath – was ready faster than Clarke thought and she was staring at it, frozen on the safe spot on which she was standing. She was _not_ going into that. She saw someone walking beside her toward the water. Her eyes opened wide – Lexa was naked, and she was walking into the water. So Lexa wasn't going to force her into following her ? Or was it another one of her evil plans ?

Clarke stared at her. If she could, she would follow. She couldn't say she wasn't interested into bathing with her girlfriend, but it implied being into _a lot_ of water, and that was impossible for her. Lexa sat in the deepest part of the bath, water up to her neck. The water was warm and soapy. Clarke's eyes met Lexa's, and Clarke felt like she owed Lexa a shot at this. She could at least try. She'd probably panick the hell out of the bath, but at least she would've tried.

She reluctantly started undressing. Her hands were trembling, making it harder for her. Lexa saw it and stood up to walk back to her. She helped her getting undressed and pulled her against her. Clarke surrounded Lexa's back with her arms, stiffening when Lexa started walking backward, pulling her toward the water. She hid her head into Lexa's neck, closing her eyes to calm her running heart down. She let Lexa guide her into the water, the latter holding her against her in a protecting Lexa bent her knees in order to sit in the deepest part of the bath, Clarke surrounded Lexa's waist with her legs. But she couldn't escape this anymore. And if she could, would she play the coward card ? Her grip on Lexa tightened. They were both trapped in water, their neck and head being the only parts of their bodies free from the warm liquid.

Lexa's hand brushing her back, comforting whispers in her ear were barely enough to keep her from panicking. Lexa felt it may be too much for her and she started covering Clarke's skin with kisses, from her neck to her jaws and cheeks. But Clarke didn't relax. She was trembling. Lexa lifted her up to get her back to land. It was Clarke's first consented time in the water since her dad's death. The blonde had tried, and Lexa was grateful for that.

She laid Clarke on a lounger and wrapped her up in a towel. ''You did great, Clarke.''

The young mother opened her eyes to find Lexa's. She would need a few minutes to regain her composure.

* * *

Anya walked down the stairs to enter a long corridor on the first floor. She was looking for her sister, whom she saw getting out of a room with Clarke. They were wearing bathrobes. Anya looked at the door they had just closed. The bathroom ?

''I'm still going to kill you for making me do that.'' Clarke told Lexa, none of them aware of Anya's presence on the other side of the corridor.

''You can kill me all you want.'' Lexa answered, her arms surrounding Clarke's waist. She attacked Clarke's cheek with her mouth, addicted to feeling the young woman's skin against her lips.

''I don't think this is the right place for this.'' Clarke said. She didn't do anything to stop the brunette though, Lexa's lips always intoxicated her.

''With the number of rooms in here, it's definitely the right place for this.'' She went on until she could nip and lick the most sensitive point on Clarke's neck, not far under the girl's earlobe. And when Clarke was finally relaxing, she stopped. ''But not the right time.''

''Lexa !'' Clarke yelled, frustrated. She would surely punch her girlfriend if the latter kept tricking her. Not that she was a violent person. She left Lexa's arms, expecting an explanation.

''There's something waiting for you outside.'' Lexa simply said, keeping herself from smirking at Clarke's face.

A short moment of silence permitted Clarke to figure out what it was. And it wasn't something she was happy about. ''Don't tell me you already bought them !''

''A bet is a bet, Clarke. You lost.'' Reminding Clarke of her loss wasn't going to get Clarke to smile, but Lexa loved messing with her. ''You'll find a dressing room over there,'' she pointed at a door twenty feet away, ''get dressed and join me in the front yard.''

Lexa left to get clothes from whatever dressing room had what she wanted and Clarke headed for the room Lexa had showed her from afar.

Anya, who had seen the whole scene, walked up to Clarke. It was too good of an occasion to talk to her.

''Nice bath ?'' she asked.

Clarke had stopped when she had noticed Anya coming toward her. _Did she see everything ?_ Her cheeks were already reddening. There were moments with Lexa that she'd rather keep private. ''Anya... for how long were you –''

''Long enough.'' Anya smirked. ''So, what was that bet about ?''

''Huh.'' Clarke hesitated, should she tell Anya ? Well, it was a bet which she had lost. She never asked for Lexa to buy her expensive things. ''We played games and I only won two over six. Lexa bought me a car and a motorbike that are apparently already here.'' She seemed annoyed, something Anya felt.

''Look, Clarke,'' there she was, on the topic she wanted to share with her sister's girlfriend, ''Lexa is very protective. She protects the ones she cares for. She's the only reason Luna and I really felt like we belonged in this family. It appears clearly that you don't get along with money, but I'm asking you, let Lexa offer you a thing or two once in a while. I haven't seen much of you both, but enough to tell Lexa won't bear losing you in any way, even if she wants to believe otherwise. If you don't want to be taken care of, that's fine and understandable, but do not ever reject her. You want to break up with her, you come to me first, understood ? I have to know soon enough to be ready to pick up the pieces.''

Clarke listened carefully to Anya's long monologue. She understood why Anya worried. She had hurt Lexa in the past and she had no intention of hurting her again. She had no reason to. Lexa was her world. A safe one. But she wondered, what was the thing with money ? Why would Lexa need to buy her things ?

''I don't want to hurt her. I don't like rich people controlling others with money but Lexa's not like that. Not with me. But... why are you asking me to let Lexa buy stuff for me ? What's the point ?''

Anya could see Clarke's point clearly, and she agreed with her. Money was power, and too many people were crushed by it. But Lexa didn't use her personal money to get what she wanted. Business and private life were different things. ''She won't buy tons of pointless things. She'll always get you stuff that might come in handy. A car and a motorbike, you said ? A car so you can take Aden wherever you want and a motorbike so you can have fun without stealing her baby.''

 _Oh, like hell I won't steal her motorbike._ Clarke counted on winning at least one bet. She was still thinking about what would make her win a bet, but right now, it wasn't exactly the topic.

''You mean she wants me to have everything I need,'' she sighed.

''As I said, she's protective.'' She shot a glance to her watch. She had to go. ''Get dressed. Luna is with your son. See you later.'' She left, and Clarke sighed again.

The young mother was wearing a bathrobe in an immense mansion whose owners were part of the richest people on Earth. And the heir of this family was her girlfriend, the smart and sexy Lexa Woods. _What a story to tell Aden in twenty years, huh ?_

* * *

Dressed with a proper shirt and tight jeans, Clarke was almost ready to join Lexa in the front yard. She still had to get her son. She entered Anya's apartment on the second floor to find Luna sitting on the floor with her son on her thigh. Toys were scattered around them. Aden was laughing. Clarke's heart melted. She had never seen her son smile in the arms of a stranger.

''Hey,'' she made her presence known. She joined Luna. The brunette was less scary than Anya.

''Hi,'' Luna answered. ''I suppose you want your son back ?''

''He likes you.'' Clarke stated. Her tone was far from accusating. Actually, she was glad her son could be happy without her, because if something was to happen to her, Aden would have to go on without her.

''He's really cute. He reminds me of my little brother.'' Luna said. Her voice was light. She didn't seem to mind telling personal things to Clarke.

''You have a little brother ? Lexa never told me about him.''

''He's not his. He was mine. My biological little brother. I was three when the Woods adopted me. But I always wanted to know where I came from, I needed to, so when I turned fourteen, I made some research and gave some money here and there. I learnt that my mother was Lissandra Woods' childhood friend. She got sick not long after having me and the Woods paid for her treatment, but it got worse and she could no longer take care of me. The Woods adopted me and my biological mother took five other years to get rid of her disease. Four years later she got pregnant again, had a baby boy, who was two when I met them.'' She interrupted herself to give Aden back to his mother. ''He died not long after. He was very sick. Our mother wasn't really cured after all. She died too a year later. Her disease hit her and the loss of her son took away her motivation to fight it.''

Clarke lowered her head, saddened by Luna's story. They all had a dark and painful past. She thought Luna was very brave for telling her this story on their second meeting.

''Harsh,'' Clarke said. ''How did you... how did you reacted ?'' Maybe she had crossed a line, but she needed to know.

''I always liked art, so I buried myself into it. I was never the one to help Woods Enterprises flourish. Lexa and Anya have the guts to do it. Business may not seem like it, but it's a dark world. I've always wanted to make the world better, so I spent most of my time here creating in my studio. I paint, draw, dance and write books for children. I sell those books in this country and with the money I send copies to countries whose kids can't always learn how to read.''

''That's beautiful.'' Clarke already liked Luna. The woman was true to herself. And Clarke couldn't say the artist in her didn't like Luna's way of life. ''Do your sisters agree ? I mean, have they ever tried to get you into working with them ?''

''No,'' Luna shook her head, ''Lexa talked to me about it when I turned eighteen. She told me that there would always be a place for me at the company if I ever wanted to work with them. That's when I told her about what I wanted to do. Since then, she funds my projects when needed.''

Lexa never told Clarke about that too. Yet it showed a wonderful image of her. Lexa was an amazing person, nothing to do with her father. And Clarke felt her heart flutter at the idea that she could spend her life with her. But Luna was still beside her and Clarke still didn't know why she was told all those things.

''Why are you sharing your past with me ? You barely know me...''

Luna stood up with ease and held a hand to the young mother. Clarke accepted the help and was pulled up with her son in her arms. That's only when she was up and steady that Luna gave her an answer.

''A few months ago I got a call from Lexa in the middle of the night. I was painting, so I was well awake. She was drunk and muttering some things about a certain 'Clarke'. I tried to get a coherent phrase out of her but it was impossible, so I let her go on until she stopped to take her breath. I waited a few seconds and asked her why she was telling me this. Why would whatever was going on with that 'Clarke' matter ? And that's when she blew it – she said she was in love with her. When I met you, I already trusted you. Lexa doesn't give her heart to the wrong people.''

Clarke didn't answer. She walked alongside Luna out of Anya's apartment and down the stairs. This conversation with Lexa's younger sister had taught her a lot. She didn't get the courage to add any word, and she hoped Luna wouldn't be mad at her for not thanking her and telling her goodbye. She stopped at the mansion's main entrance and gave Luna a nod. The young brunette understood Clarke's feelings and didn't mind her silence. She nodded back and Clarke joined Lexa in the front yard, her son babbling in her arms.

The brunette was waiting in front of two vehicles. A red car and a navy blue motorbike – the same than hers, only the colors were different. But it wasn't what interested Clarke the most. She grabbed Lexa's wrist to make her turn around and joined their lips as soon as Lexa was facing her. She let their lips connect and move together for a few seconds. Clarke had to end this moment because her son was moving in her arms and she needed to stay steady.

''What was that for ?'' a pleased Lexa asked, wearing a wide smile.

''Je t'aime,'' Clarke simply said, ''et si tu me demandais d'être ta femme, je dirais oui.'' _I love you, and if you asked me to be your wife, I'd say yes._

Lexa stared at her, still lagging on the first words that she knew very well, but confused about the end of the sentence. ''Okay I'm gonna need a translation.''

Clarke laughed, expecting this reaction from her girlfriend. She stole a quick kiss and laughed. ''Oh, you'll know soon enough.'' She joined her brand new car and installed Aden on the back seat. Lexa had even thought of buying a baby seat for him. Clarke didn't doubt it, Lexa would make a perfect parent for her son.


	31. Chapter 31

Clarke started moving faster against Lexa, feeling the urge to merge their bodies into one. If actually merging was impossible, they kept trying. None of them was willing to separate. They arrived at work early after dropping Aden at his nanny's. They figured it would be better for him to spend the day elsewhere than where he spent his nights and weekends. Arriving at work, Clarke had pulled Lexa in the office's bedroom, kissing her passionately as the door closed behind them. Lexa hadn't expected that, but she had done nothing to stop her girlfriend from undressing her.

''Clarke,'' Lexa whispered, out of breath, ''faster.''

Clarke had started by taking advantage of Lexa's skin, kissing her everywhere except where Lexa actually needed to. Not able to bear the teasing anymore, Lexa had pulled Clarke against her. But it still wasn't enough. Lexa needed Clarke more and more. She felt Clarke's teeth bite her shoulder and it was too much desire for her. In an instant, she reversed their position and took control. Clarke realized why she should've let Lexa the upperhand on this – Lexa was athletic – _damn she's fast !_

It took less than a minute for them to be brought at the highest point of their pleasure. Lexa collapsed on top of Clarke, breathing fast against the blonde's sweaty shoulder.

''I guess,'' Clarke tried to say while recovering her own breath, ''I should let you top when we decide to do the race thing.''

Lexa laughed in her neck and Clarke's heart blossomed into a rainbow flower. The brunette took Clarke's hand in her own and entwined their fingers. She was never having sex with Clarke, she was making love. Something she hadn't done in years.

''I guess,'' she lifted herself up a bit to see Clarke's face, ''this whole 'race thing' wasn't that bad.'' They smiled at each other for a few seconds before Lexa leaned in to grab Clarke's lips with her own. If this was addiction, it was the good kind. Once she put an end to their kiss, she played with her girlfriend's hair for a few seconds before saying ''I have to get to my next meeting. It's highly possible that we end up in my office, so as soon as you're cleaned up get the red file on my desk and read it. It's a new partnership, it would be better if you knew everything about it before meeting the two ambassadors of it.''

Clarke nodded and brought her lips to Lexa's shoulder, laying a dozen of slow kisses on the brunette's skin. If they could, they'd stay here forever.

* * *

Clarke had decided to go take a look at the file before going back into the other room and freshen up. She had put back her clothes but her hair was messy. She would go and wash her sweaty face after giving that file a quick look. But it didn't happen as expected, because as soon as she saw the name of Woods Enterprises' new partnership, Clarke froze. She shook her head after a while and opened the file to read it entirely. It wasn't that long, but what she discovered didn't please her. The names of the two ambassadors. _Hell no._ She turned page after page before she was stopped by the sound of voices approaching the office's doors. She recognized all three of the voices. Lexa, and two people she had tried so badly to forget.

Panicked, she fell on her knees and crawled under Lexa's wooden desk. She heard the two doors opening and brought her knees to her chest to rest her head on them. _This can't be happening._

''Take a seat,'' Lexa said, coming to sit on her own chair.

Clarke heard people sitting on the two chairs in front of the desk. She was glad a wooden wall separated her from the two guests.

''Thank you for meeting us here,'' a male voice said, ''your offer is very interesting for us. Our hospital won't survive without your funding.''

''Let me say I was a bit surprised,'' Lexa answered calmly, ''when I met you during my tour, I didn't expect Arkadia Hospital to be left without much financial support from the government. It is the best hospital of its state, it should be considered as such.''

Lexa's attention was focussed on her two guests, but she was surprised she didn't find Clarke at her desk when she entered her office, as it was planned.

''The government has changed, Ms Woods.'' another voice said, and this time Clarke stiffened under the desk. She hated this woman's voice. She despised this woman. ''And the new one doesn't put health at the top of its priorities.''

Lexa nodded. If her father would've loved the new president, she hated him. She had even refused to support him during his campaign, something that had frustrated the man. But what could he do against a worldwide firm ? Let alone a firm born in the United States, rising up the country's economy. Lexa had thought a lot about it. Refusing to support the president, in her case, would not affect her company.

She took the file on her desk and closed it. _It was opened._ She remembered closing it before leaving. She always closed each file. So Clarke had looked at it ? But where was she ? Without giving any clue of her confusion, she said ''You have my company's financial support. Our Research department will be starting a partnership with you at the end of the month. You should know that –''

She was cut off by the phone ringing on her desk. It was one of her private ones, and she took a look at the screen to make sure it wasn't important. But it was.

''Excuse me for a few seconds.'' she told her guests before answering the call. ''Lexa Woods.'' she pretended to be having a work related phone call. She listened carefully and would've muttered if she had been alone. _Where is Clarke when she's needed ?_ ''I'll pass her the message. Thank you.''

She hung up and looked at her phone, taking one second to decide what to do. ''You'll have to wait a few more seconds. My assistant's son needs her. Health and safety come first, isn't it ?''

The woman in front of her smiled and nodded to the discrete agreement offered to her. Health. Safety. With Woods Enterprises' financial support, Arkadia Hospital could flourish and blossom in every way possible.

Lexa called Clarke's phone, making the blonde regret to not having turned it off, or at least put it on silent mode. It was in her jeans' back pocket. She had forgotten to put it on her desk when she arrived here this morning as her mind was too busy thinking of everything she wanted to do to Lexa in the office's bedroom. The phone's ringtone echoed through the room and the three people sitting on chairs frowned. Clarke knew she was done.

Lexa looked down, searching for the phone, but it wasn't the phone she should've been looking for. She leaned forward, the sound came from under her desk. Her eyes closed for a second when she saw her girlfriend hiding under the desk. ''Richards.'' She had no other word to say about this. Clarke probably had a reason that she'll find out later.

Clarke reluctantly left her safe place and stood up, facing Lexa. She shot a sorry glance to her before turning toward the two guests. She was far from wearing a smile.

The man's eyes widened when he saw her, clearly surprised, but the woman didn't react. Clarke and her were making the same face – they were staring at each other. The electric flow between them was such that neither Lexa nor the man dared to say a word.

The woman looked at Clarke from top to bottom. The way she had probably dressed quickly. Her messy hair. This gave no doubt. She was the first to speak. ''I always wondered how you survived all this time. But here you are, under one great CEO's desk.''

Clarke clenched her jaws, ready to spit at the woman's face, but she didn't drop her stare. She would not let her win. ''Marcus and Abigail Kane. I see you forgot Dad pretty fast.''

 _Dad ?_ Lexa thought she hadn't heard well. Was the woman in front of her... _no way._

Abigail didn't react to Clarke's comment. They both had strong minds. Instead, she remembered the CEO's comment a few seconds ago. She couldn't be wrong about this. ''You could've called. Tell me I became a grandmother.''

 _Imma punch her._ Clarke stiffened, trying to not show her anger by keeping herself from closing her hands into fists. ''This is none of your business.''

''It is,'' Abigail answered right away, picking up the pace of this encounter, ''I'm still your mother, I have a right to know. By the way, how old is your child, Clarke ?''

''You have no right on me.'' Clarke spit.

''Your baby must be seven, eight, nine months old ? It matches. The timing is right. He told me everything, your child is Finn's isn't it ?''

 _How the fuck does she know._ Finn. Obviously. But Clarke could have had a child from any other man since then. It doesn't mean anything. ''No.'' she tried to lie, but her anger was slowly betraying her.

''Really ? So you don't mind if he demands a paternity test ?''

Clarke lost it instantaneously. She had run away from her mother and the latter had found her. Like Finn had the year before.

''Father or not, Finn has no right over my son. I gave birth without him, I'm raising him without him.''

''So he's the father.''

''Enough.'' Lexa reacted, feeling Clarke was losing it. She didn't like the way that her girlfriend was treated by this woman. Mother or not, Clarke had the right to be treated with respect. Furthermore, Clarke's mother had threatened Aden and Lexa couldn't let this go. ''This has nothing to do here.''

Abigail looked down, this time, not willing to lose the financial support Lexa had offered her. She stood up and took her bag, ready to leave the office.

''You should've married Finn just like I told you. At least your son would have a father.'' she told Clarke before walking toward the exit.

''You mean what you told me when I turned eighteen even though you could see the marks on my wrists ? How you dared tell me I did them myself. How you told Finn to keep a close eye on me.''

Clarke's voice was angerless. It had dropped when pain had started filling Clarke's chest. And it got worse because Abigail didn't even grant her a look before leaving the office. The man, Marcus Kane, followed his wife. The two guests gone, Clarke dropped in tears. Lexa caught her in her arms, making them sit on the floor. She pushed the emergency button to have some privacy with Clarke.

''I won't let them hurt you, Clarke.'' Lexa whispered.

Clarke waited until her chest hurt less, until her eyes stopped crying, until her voice came back to explain everything to Lexa. Who Finn was. How he treated her. How her mother didn't care about her daughter being hurt and miserable. How Finn found her three years after she ran away. How she had no other choice but to sleep with him so he could fall asleep and she could get rid of him.

''He's gonna take my son,'' Clarke said, panicking, ''he's gonna take him away from me.''

''No.'' Lexa told her right away. ''He won't. I won't let him.''

And it was true. There was no way Lexa would let anyone hurt her family.

* * *

Clarke was going home. Yesterday, after she told Lexa everything, the brunette brought her back to her apartment and left to get to Aden. The little boy had an asthma attack and he was coughing a lot. But it was good, because it meant he was fighting the disease. This morning, Clarke had insisted on working full day, but Lexa had refused. Clarke wasn't feeling well and after the harsh year she had spent, it was better if she took things slow with herself. It was 1pm and Clarke had to keep herself from getting back into the car parked near the building and go get her son at his nanny's. Lexa said she'd get him at the end of the day. Clarke had to rest. But Clarke would feel better if she could rest with her son beside her. At least she'd know he's safe, away from her mother, away from Finn. It was a silly idea, but Clarke was stressed out since her mother's return. She had been feeling better and better with Lexa's help, even though if was still difficult sometimes.

She walked up the stairs. She didn't see the car following her all the way from her workplace. She only noticed a shadow slipping beside her when she entered the building. She started running, climbing the stairs two steps after two steps. She unlocked the apartment's door as fast as possible, but the shadow was faster and pushed the door that she was trying to close.

''Clarke, wait !''

The door closed and Clarke knew she was stuck in the apartment with _him_.

''Finn. You have nothing to do here.'' she said as calmly as she could.

''I took the first plane as soon as Abby told me. Clarke, we have a son.''

 _Like hell you do_. She wanted to hurt him. For real. After everything he had done to her he kept ruining her life. ''I have a son. You have nothing.''

He lowered his head, disappointed in his girlfriend's behaviour. He stepped forward, and Clarke didn't wait long to react.

''Do not come near me !''

''We could have everything. I have a house and a garden. We could get married and raise our son. He'd be better in a house than in this apartment.''

He went on with walking toward her and if she wasn't too proud, she'd take a few steps back. Not that it would be useful as she was stuck in this apartment.

''You don't have a say in this. I'm the one who had to take care of my child since the day I got pregnant.''

''I would've helped you if I had known ! Don't play the 'I gave birth to him' card on me, it's not fair ! I'm a man I won't ever be able to give birth. Seriously, don't you see this whole thing is a sign ? We were supposed to get married and start a family together, and here we are, we have a son.''

''MY SON !'' Clarke yelled, desperate. Finn was two feet from her and she couldn't bear having him so close to her. ''You call that pregnancy a sign ? I call that you screwing me without a condom, you dumbshit ! I would've gone on with my shitty life without that baby, I couldn't have missed a child I would've never had. But I have him, and he's doing fine without you.'' He closed the distance between them, clearly mad, defying her with his taller height and large shoulders. But Clarke went on. She wasn't impressed by her ex-boyfriend. ''You want a child, Finn ? Go start a family with someone who actually wants one with you.''

Clarke could see in Finn's eyes that she hurt him. He grabbed her hand, keeping it in his.

''You're still my girlfriend, Clarke. You never broke up with me. You just left. But we can fix that. We can make everything alright.''

''No,'' Clarke spit, pulling her hand away from his.''if it's not clear enough for you already, we're done.''

Finn didn't believe it. He couldn't. He was mad because he had a family right under his eyes and yet that family rejected him. But Clarke and him were made for each other. He knew it.

''Your mother gave me your hand before you even turned eighteen. And now you have my son, you... you have to come home with me.''

''No.'' Clarke said firmly. ''Get out of my home.''

Finn wasn't going to let go. He grabbed Clarke's wrists, holding them tight. ''Come home to me ! Come live with my son and I !''

Clarke tried to free her hands but Finn was stronger. ''Your son and you ? He's _my_ son ! You'll never have him !''

''I'm his father. A boy can't be raised by a woman !'' She tried to head hit him but he avoided it and pushed her back.

Clarke kicked his ankle, making him lose his balance and he fell down, bringing her into his fall. He freed her arms to get rid of the woman now on him and she took her chances to punch him hard in the face. He moaned in pain and reciprocated the punch. Trying to get away, Clarke was taken by surprise and she fell on her back. Finn sat on her waist and grabbed her wrists again, holding them above her head.

Clarke tried to kick his back with her knees but she was stuck. ''Are you gonna tie my wrists up just like you used to ?'' she spit. She hated him. She hated him so much her eyes started filling with angry tears.

''You liked it this way.'' he answered confusedly. ''We were happy together. Why did you run away ?''

Clarke stopped fighting. She felt a thread of blood coming down her cheek from her lower lip. Finn was bleeding too, but the blood came from his nose. _I hope it's broken, you bastard._ She didn't know what to do. He was delusional. He always was. ''You thought I liked being tied up while you used me for sex, but I never did. And you never stopped. Even when I told you we were done, you made me shut up. Why do you think I ran away Finn ? You didn't love me. You owned me.''

''Shut up.'' His arms were trembling. He was pissed off and sad. Something that frightened Clarke even though the young mother tried not to show it. Finn shook his head as if he was having a conversation with himself. ''I'm gonna bring my son home,'' he said, ''and you're gonna follow. We'll get married and have two other kids. We'll be happy. We'll be the family we should be.''

He obviously didn't get the reaction he wanted, because Clarke spit at his face. Disgusted, he brought a hand to his face to wash the saliva off of it. One hand free, Clarke punched him hard, making him lose his grip on her. She slipped away and tried to reach the door but he grabbed her ankle and she fell back on the floor, nearly hitting her head.

''Get off you freak !'' she yelled, her heart beating incredibly fast. Thinking of everything he was capable of doing to her frightened her more than ever. She lost her american accent in the process, and that reminded Finn of something.

''I'll denounce you to the authorities ! My son can't be your son, my son's American ! He has a right to be raised by an American man !''

She tried to kick him off but he crawled on her, blocking her against the floor. Tears left her eyes at the realization that she wasn't strong enough to get rid of him. ''My son and I will never be yours !'' she yelled.

He brought her hands in her back, holding them together. He laid his whole weight on her and Clarke cried, thinking it was over for her. She closed her eyes. She couldn't move at all. Her mind slipped and she didn't hear all the noises in the apartment. She only felt Finn's weight leaving her body. Hands gently grabbed her shoulders to turn her over.

''Clarke !'' she heard. She still had the picture of her son being taken away by Finn in her mind. ''Clarke, you're okay. You're okay now.'' The smell was the first clue for Clarke to guess who was holding her. A flagrance she loved.

''Lexa...'' she murmured. Her head dropped on her girlfriend's shoulder. Her panicked heart made her raise her head to look around. Finn was lying a few feet away.

''It's okay, Clarke. He's unconscious. I'm sorry I didn't come sooner. I came as soon as I was warned about an intruder.''

Of course, Lexa's building was guarded. Of course, Lexa knew everything that was happening in _her_ building. Because she had bought its ground and asked for its construction. Because she had made sure it was safe.

Lexa looked at Clarke's face, seeing her girlfriend's shocked expression made her bring the girl closer to her. She laid a gentle kiss on her forehead and brought a hand to the pale cheek. She wiped the stain of blood under Clarke's mouth with her thumb.

''The police and two of my lawyers are on their way. He won't get away with this, I promise.''

Clarke took Lexa's hand in her own. She needed to feel her presence. That's how Lexa noticed the bruises on her girlfriend's wrists. Lexa closed her eyes a couple of seconds to contain the fury inside. Finn was lucky he was still alive. Lexa had hit him badly but she had won her inner fight – her fists had stopped punching the monster's hideous face.

* * *

Both women were lying in bed together. The police had taken Finn away and Lexa had told them what had happened, also telling them that Clarke would talk to them the next day. The blonde was shaken and Lexa only wanted to give her rest and comfort. She kept her in her arms all afternoon. Clarke had fallen asleep for an hour and she was just awakening.

''Are you okay ?'' Lexa asked, kissing her gently on the forehead.

Clarke mumbled and Lexa didn't get a word. The brunette lifted her girlfriend's chin with a finger to make her look at her.

''I'm fine, Lexa,'' Clarke said again, ''thanks to you.'' She laid her head on Lexa's shoulder, tightening the grip of her arm wrapped around the brunette's waist, over Lexa's belly. ''If you hadn't come in time...''

''No,'' Lexa cut her off, ''we're not talking about that. You're not weak, Clarke. The guy was already making hell of a face when I threw him away from you.'' Lexa took Clarke's hand in her own to play with it, something she knew Clarke always enjoyed, ''I think you broke his nose.''

Clarke chuckled, and Lexa grew a wide smile. Making Clarke laugh was the goal of her life.

''And,'' Lexa added, ''I arrived in time just like you did for me when my car was trapped. So, that makes us even.''

Clarke pouted. ''You saved my life more than once.''

''You're still saving me,'' Lexa replied, making her girlfriend look at her with curiosity. ''You give me a reason to fight. To care about life.''

Clarke remembered something important. Something the last events had almost made her forget. But she couldn't forget it for long. She lifted herself up in a sitting position and looked under the pillow on her right, on the opposite side of the bed where Lexa wasn't. What she pulled out of it, Lexa recognized straight away.

''Clarke...''

''I was going to say yes,'' Clarke said, showing the little square box. She opened it and took the paper that, it showed, she had already read. Lexa's heart missed a beat, stricken by the fear of whatever Clarke was going to say. The young mother looked at the half golden half silver ring. It was very simple yet complex. Clarke loved it. ''I still want to say yes.'' She handed the paper to Lexa. The brunette's handwriting was on it, showing the reknown question. ''But with everything that happened with Finn... I don't want you to think I want to marry you to escape him.''

Lexa's heart calmed down, slowly melting. Clarke would say yes. She would. She pulled Clarke against her, surrounding her with her arms. ''I got to know you this last year. I know when you lie and when you tell the truth. I know what you think of me, of my company and... and of money in general. That's why I know that if you say yes, it wouldn't be to get something out of our marriage.''

''Actually, I'd say yes to get you out of it.'' Clarke teased.

Lexa smirked, there was the occasion. ''So, is that a yes ?''

Clarke smiled and pushed herself over Lexa. She buried her face in the brunette's neck, feeling her girlfriend's arms surrounding her. Clarke knew she was protected and loved. She would never want to leave. She loved Lexa too much to even think of it. ''Yes.'' she convincingly said in the brunette's ear.

Lexa would yell around in happiness if she didn't prefer cuddling with Clarke. The young mother was going to be hers officially, and with this marriage, no one would dare to hurt Clarke. Not if Clarke joined the Woods' family. Thinking of family, Lexa remembered they had to pick up Aden in half an hour at his nanny's.

''How about we go get ice screams before getting your son ?'' Lexa said, yet not moving one bit.

Clarke sat to look into Lexa's eyes. She saw happiness and love. She smiled. ''Our son, Lexa,'' she stated, because this marriage wasn't just about the two of them. But did Lexa even want to be a mother ? ''I mean, if you want to –''

''I do.'' Lexa answered right away. She took Clarke's hands in her own and entwined their fingers. ''Clarke, of course I accept your son as mine. I love Aden, he's family.'' Clarke brought their lips together as a reaction to Lexa's statement. When they separated, Lexa couldn't help herself but add ''We're family.''

And Clarke knew that blood didn't make all bonds. Aden may not have a father, but he had two mothers to look over him. Two great and caring mothers were better than one violent and selfish father.


	32. Chapter 32

**Hey guys !**

 **I couldn't post for a week, my bad. I'm very busy and it frustrates me that I'm not able to write as much as I want. This chapter was supposed to be longer but I didn't have time to write the second part so I've decided to post this. It can work as a chapter and there are a few important news.**

 **I'll try to post chapter 33 next weekend but I don't know if I'll be done with it. I hope so ! There are many moments I wanna write, and I will write them. Even though I slowed down lately doesn't mean I'm giving up on this story. It's just gonna be a bit complicated for a little while.**

 **Anyway, thanks for the reviews, follows, and favs ! It's motivating ! I hope you'll enjoy this chapter and - hopefully - see you next weekend ! :)**

* * *

''No way !'' Raven shouted. She had just closed her office's door when Clarke showed her the ring on her left hand. ''No fucking way !'' She grabbed Clarke's hand and touched the ring to see if it was real. ''I go away for a little while and Lexa Woods asks you to marry her ?''

Clarke laughed. She couldn't believe it herself, so she understood how crazy it sounded to Raven.

''She's also adopting my son,'' Clarke added, and Raven's mouth dropped.

The young engineer sat on her desk chair, eyes wide in disbelief. ''Wow.'' She stared at nothing for a long minute. Clarke sat in front of the desk, unable to stop smiling. She had spent the whole night cuddling with Lexa and Aden. Her family.

''That escalated quickly.'' Raven said, finally back to reality. ''How did this happen ?''

Clarke decided that it was time to tell Raven the whole truth. She knew she could trust her, so she told her who she was, who Aden's father was and how he came back this week. Why she had been scared of Lexa caring for her at first, how she had understood that she could trust her. And more recently, her visit of the Woods' mansion and meeting Lexa's family.

''I wish you told me sooner,'' Raven said, feeling a bit sad about Clarke not trusting her enough, but she could also understand why Clarke had kept quiet for so long. ''I'm glad you told me everything now though.''

''You're the second person to whom I tell everything. Lexa... I didn't want to tell her at first. She fought to get me to trust her. I didn't go easy on her...''

''I bet you didn't,'' Raven smirked.

Clarke smiled but didn't pick up the joke. ''I'm serious, Raven. I'm not kidding ! Lexa, she's... she's everything to me. Without her, Aden and I would be dead. Not just because I couldn't handle everything, but also because I wasn't enough for Aden. I couldn't take care of myself and neither did Aden. I held on for a while but I broke. And Lexa reappeared. She was there right when I needed her and she trusted me. After all the horrible things I'd done and told her.''

Raven watched Clarke with curiosity. She knew her friend was in love with their boss but she didn't expect Clarke to admit everything to her today. Clarke wasn't saying that she had just a crush or that she had feelings for Lexa Woods. She was talking about the life she wanted to share with the woman. And Raven was glad Clarke was finally happy.

''That's great, Clarke. I mean it. And I hope you'll be happy together forever.''

''I hope so too,'' Clarke smiled widely. She stoop up and reached for the door's handle. ''Now if you'll excuse me, I'm gonna go back up there and kiss her.''

''I don't wanna know,'' Raven playfully pushed her out.

Things had gone so slowly and yet so fast, Raven thought while closing the door.

* * *

Clarke entered Lexa's office to find a guest talking with Lexa at the CEO's desk. A thirty-looking-year-old woman stood up after she signed some paper.

''Your company is safe in my hands,'' Lexa told her, holding a hand in the air that the woman took in hers to shake.

Clarke smirked at Lexa's seriousness. Feet away from the guest who still had her back turned to her, Clarke mimed Lexa's usual gestures, slightly exaggerating them. Lexa saw her and focussed on the woman in front of her, trying to keep her composure. She would've killed anyone who tried to imitate her, but Clarke was too cute for Lexa to even be mad at her.

When the woman turned around to leave, Clarke stopped and nodded as a slight 'hello'. The woman didn't pay much attention to her and left.

Clarke walked up to her desk, pretending to be the most innocent thing ever, but was quickly joined by Lexa who appeared in her back to trap her in her arms.

''Are you trying to get everyone to think I'm not serious ?'' Lexa asked her.

''We both know you're as serious as a five-year-old boy.''

Clarke felt a soft wet kiss in her neck and her legs almost disconnected.

''Good thing you're also into boys, then,'' Lexa replied, her chuckles attacking Clarke's heart with cuteness.

Clarke turned around in Lexa's arms and surrounded the brunette's neck with hers.

''I'm kinda into one very specific brunette right now.''

''Really ? Do I know her ?''

Clarke smirked.

''Not really but I don't mind cheating on her with you.''

Lexa pulled Clarke closer, a small smile showing her amusement. ''I didn't expect you to be the cheating type.''

Clarke laughed and stole a kiss from her _fiancée_. She had waited for it for too long. Clarke couldn't spend one hour without wanting to kiss Lexa. The brunette's lips on her own always gave her thrills, a tsunami of emotions that she had never felt before.

They separated to connect their foreheads. Lexa smiled widely, something that made Clarke smiled too. Lexa enjoyed half a minute of this moment before having to break it ''There's a few things we need to talk about.''

She took Clarke's hand and pulled the blonde toward the sofa.

''Oh, hell no,'' Clarke stopped her, ''we're not sitting onto that ugly cardinal red sofa !''

Lexa sighed and bit her lip to contain her laughter. ''You know, if you hate this sofa that much, maybe you should buy a new one. Choose whatever sofa you want, it's on me.'' She didn't give Clarke time to answer, she pulled her into the office's bedroom. ''We have a meeting in fifteen minutes, we don't have time to lose.'' She sat, bringing Clarke to sit beside her.

''What's up ?'' Clarke asked, suddenly feeling a bit nervous.

''About your papers... I've been trying to get you and Aden a legal ID for a while. But I've been hesitating these last couple weeks because... because if you get them, you and Aden would have a fake name that you won't be able to take back. That's why it's only fair I let you choose... but I can't promise you'll get the one you want, because I've been trying to do things legally. It's not easy, but, you know, I'm Lexa Woods, so –''

''I want yours.'' Clarke said, ignoring Lexa's pretentious comment.

Lexa frowned. Did she hear well ? ''What ?''

''I'm used to having fake names, so I wouldn't mind keeping things this way, but Aden deserves a real name and even though Griffin is my father's name, it's also my mother's former name. I don't want Aden to be legally linked to her, neither do I want him to have his father's name. I want him to have your name, and I want the same name as you two. So we can be a family from A to Z.''

Eyes wide, Lexa was staring at Clarke's lips like she was trying to read the words coming out from Clarke's mouth. She didn't expect Clarke to choose a name she hated not so long ago. ''Are you – Are you sure ?''

Clarke took Lexa's hand in hers and entwined their fingers. ''I want you, Lexa. And Aden loves you too.''

''He puked on me yesterday,'' Lexa pouted.

Clarke laughed. ''You made him laugh too much !''

''I didn't do anything else than hold him !''

''You have a funny face,'' Clarked chuckled. She loved watching Lexa and Aden together. When Lexa annoyed Clarke, the young mother would let the brunette take care of Aden. Her son would always avenge her somehow.

Lexa didn't have any other argument. Clarke and Aden liked making fun of her.

Clarke smiled at Lexa's fake afflicted expression and moved closer to lay a kiss on the brunette's cheek. ''You're a great mother to him'', she told the brunette.

Lexa's cheeks warmed up at the compliment. She never thought she'd be a mother someday. She never expected Clarke's son to become her son, but Clarke wanted her as Aden's mother and she loved them both. She was learning to be a proper mom. But Clarke and her didn't need to learn how to be a family : it simply happened they became one.

Lexa had felt lonely for a very long time, something she didn't want to admit before, but now she knew how it felt having a family, she felt how hurtful these past few years had been for her. She realized she was about to cry when her eyes filled with tears, but she kept them in. She had other things to tell Clarke.

''About the marriage... I think it would be wiser for us to get married discretely. I can ask for your official papers to be made as fast as possible. And then, only after you and Aden are American citizens, we can celebrate.''

Clarke had expected Lexa to announce her engagement, but gladly, Lexa wanted to wait after their wedding. Lexa was right, it was wiser to do things in this order, Clarke felt safer this way. The world couldn't know about no one and her son. But they could know about Clarke and Aden Woods.

''So…'' Lexa said, more nervous than ever, ''would that be okay if – if we get married tomorrow ? The Maire can't refuse a short ceremony. It's just papers, you know, so we can celebrate properly in a few weeks.''

Clarke's mouth slowly fell open. Marrying Lexa tomorrow ? _Hell yes._ She was more than okay with it.

''Well,'' Lexa said again, standing up, ''I can give you a moment to think about it. Tell me tonight so I can warn the Maire.''

Lexa was about to take the first step toward the door when Clarke stood up and threw herself in her arms. Lexa closed her arms around Clarke's waist and let herself drown into the embrace. They enjoyed the moment in silence, Lexa burying her face into Clarke's hair, Clarke letting words coursing through her veins, her heart, to finally reach her mouth :

''I'd marry you everyday. You're literally my everything. You're my best friend, my savior, my son's mother, and tomorrow you'll be my wife.''

Their arms tightened around each other. This marriage was about much more than just a legal bond. Lexa broke into Clarke's arms, feeling safe and loved. She had felt weak after Costia's death but now, with Clarke, she felt stronger than ever.

Clarke pulled her head back to see Lexa's teary eyes. She wiped them off with her thumbs and brought Lexa's lips to hers. She kept her fiancée's lips against hers, caressing them as if she was murmuring words. All she wanted to say to her. But not everything needed words.


	33. Chapter 33

**Hey !**

 **I'm sorry you have to wait long for new chapters, I'm doing the best I can to write them. Hopefully** **I'll be able to post the next chapter in a week, but for now I hope you'll enjoy this one.**

 **Thanks for the reviews ! It's really motivating !**

* * *

Clarke stirred in bed, comfortably wandering through a peaceful dream. Lexa stared at her for a minute, wondering about which way she should wake her girlfriend up. Clarke rolled in bed when Lexa caressed her cheek with the back of her hand. She was now turning her back on the brunette. Lexa smiled, even though she really needed Clarke to get up. She laid beside her, slipping her hand on the blonde's. Clarke stiffened at first but she seemed to have recognized Lexa because, her eyes still shut, her face still peaceful, she turned around and rolled into Lexa, getting the brunette to surround her with her protective arms.

''Clarke,'' Lexa whispered in her fiancée's ear. Blonde hair had already slipped in her neck. ''Clarke, it's time to wake up.''

Clarke's lips hit Lexa's neck with a pout. Lexa smiled. There wasn't just one baby in this house. She let her hand slide up and down Clarke's back. She unintentionally pulled the woman's shirt up and saw a purple mark at the bottom of her back. Lexa slowly pushed Clarke out of her arms to check the girl's back. It was a big mark with a circular shape. ''Clarke ?'' She shook her girlfriend. They already didn't have much time for cuddling but now Lexa was worried and she had to know where this mark was from. ''Clarke ! Wake up !''

The young mother jumped out of her dream, eyes wide staring at the one who had yelled. ''God Lexa ! You're scared the crap out of me...'' Clarke didn't sound mad, her voice had faded. She was tired.

''Clarke...'' Lexa searched for a way to bring the topic she wanted to talk about. ''What happened to your back ?'' Simple. Clear. They didn't have enough time for little talks.

Clarke frowned. She seemed to be looking for memories. Her looks worried Lexa. She was as pale as usual, but the mark on her back and the confused expression on her face showed nothing good.

''Did something happen ?'' Lexa asked. Her voice was low enough for Lexa to control its tone. She didn't want to worry Clarke by letting her voice shake.

''Yeah. Yes, I'm fine. Sorry. I'm just tired.'' Clarke answered, and she didn't seem to be lying.

Lexa sighed. Clarke had a good reason to be tired. ''You worked too late last night. Why do you insist on working late ? I didn't ask you to, and your work hours are more than enough to fulfill your tasks.''

''I had to finish a couple files. I'm fine, don't worry.'' Clarke took Lexa's hand in her own in a reassuring gesture, but Lexa wasn't convinced yet. ''I just hit the sink when I was getting dressed after my morning shower. Okay ? Nothing to worry about.''

Lexa's glance dropped to the hand holding hers. She was always worrying for Clarke, no matter how silly Clarke's injury was. But this time, it wasn't just a small injury. It was a pretty big and dark mark. ''You didn't faint, did you ? Because if you did, you know you can tell me. You're working too hard, with work, with Aden, the last events and the ones to come, you should allow yourself to rest. And by that I don't mean a couple hours of sleep in the late afternoon. I mean sleeping at night in this bed.''

''I know.'' the blonde simply answered. She let her thumb sliding from left to right on the back of Lexa's hand. ''I have a lot on my mind, it's not easy sleeping.''

''Whether you're exhausted or you can't sleep. Did you have this issue before your father died ?''

This question triggered Clarke's brain and forced her to push the topic away. ''I was fine and I am fine. This has nothing to do with my father.'' She stood up and asked ''Aren't we supposed to get married today ?''

Lexa didn't have time to add anything else. Clarke left the bedroom to get to the living room where the table was occupying the middle of it. She found her son sleeping in his baby chair. She wished she could've slept more too, but her increasing anxiety towards the marriage that would take place in a short while kept her well awake.

* * *

The Maire was here. Clarke was still wearing her sleeping clothes, not bothering to change into anything fancy as the marriage was taking place in the apartment. Lexa still had her working outfit. The Maire looked at them with surprise. It was unusual to marry people in their living room, but this couple didn't even seem to take this marriage seriously. Nothing in this room could tell what was going on in here.

Lexa took Aden from his baby chair and joined Clarke in front of the table. He babbled and started playing with Lexa's cheek with his small right hand. The two mothers shared a smile and Lexa asked the Maire to start the ceremony. The man standing in front of the table nodded and went straight to the famous question, as Lexa told him.

''Lexa Woods, do you swear to love, honor and cherish Clarke, here, by your side, and love her son as your own, to protect them both for the rest of your life ?''

Aden slapped Lexa when she opened her mouth to answer. Clarke burst into laughter. The Maire remained silent. He didn't think any of this serious. He thought they were just playing with him. Lexa Woods marrying someone ? In her apartment. Without wedding clothes.

''I do,'' Lexa answered, ''I accept Clarke as my wife, and Aden,'' she stopped to attack his cheek with kisses to avenge herself, Aden laughed out loud, and Clarke had to keep herself from joining them in that kissing session, ''as my son,'' Lexa finished.

The Maire looked skeptical, but at Lexa's deep stare he went on with the ceremony.

''Clarke, do you swear to love, honor and cherish Lexa, here, by your side, and protect her for the rest of your life ?''

Clarke glanced at Lexa and her son, who were both looking at them. She could see a bit of anxiety in Lexa's eyes, and she was about to reassure her when she noticed her son's big innocent eyes. He didn't know exactly what was happening. Clarke laughed at Aden's cuteness and answered.

''I do.'' She joined Lexa's side to kiss their son. Aden smiled at his mother and looked up to who was becoming her other mom. ''I accept to love, protect and cherish Lexa, and to raise that little boy of ours with her.''

'' _Little boy of ours_?'' Lexa chuckled. ''That's a cute way of saying it.''

Clarke pulled her tongue out at Lexa. The Maire was eyeing them suspiciously, and he stopped trying to understand the newly married couple in front of him. This day was odd to him, and he grabbed a pen to hand it to Lexa.

The brunette grabbed it and signed both the marriage and adoption papers. Then it was Clarke's turn to sign. The Maire and Lexa noticed Clarke's shaky hand. The man eyed Lexa suspiciously and she assured him everything was fine with a glance. Aden still in her arms, she accompanied the Maire to the door. Time to leave.

She opened the door for him and he stepped in the middle of the doorway. He stopped and turned around. Lexa stabbed him with a glance.

''I have to say,'' the Maire said, ''I didn't expect you to marry someone so soon, even less someone as unknown as this young woman.''

Lexa didn't even bother to show some anger. This man didn't even deserve it.

''Well, David, I didn't expect you to be elected Maire, at least not before I showed you my support. I hope you always remember that. No Woods, no you.''

 _Touché_. The man dropped his stare and left without saying a word. Lexa closed the door, Aden staring at her from her arms, and heard the sound of the slamming door. At least it could've been it. But the hard noise didn't come from the door. Lexa turned around, rushing into the living room.

''Clarke !'' Lexa shouted as she discovered her wife's motionless body lying on the floor. She laid Aden on his baby carpet and went back to Clarke's side. ''Clarke, wake up !''

Clarke had had many ups and downs. She would feel fine one day and exhausted the other. Lexa remembered the shaky hand Clarke had used to sign the papers. Not anxiety.

''Clarke, come back, we need you !'' she yelled in despair. The young woman didn't answer and her closed eyes weren't showing a sign of life. But her heart was still beating. Slowly, but it was still beating. Lexa had to act fast. She thought of calling Jackson, but all the treatment he gave Clarke hadn't been enough. Clarke needed a doctor who knew her. Who had her medical file.

Clarke would probably hate her for this when she'd wake up, but the only important thing for Lexa right now was that Clarke actually woke up.

* * *

The white picture in Clarke's mind was slowly fading away. She was starting to feel her body again. Her face, her neck, her chest... something was on her hand. Something warm. Another hand ? Clarke hoped it was Lexa's, but it didn't feel like hers. She opened her eyes and her heartbeat abruptly got faster at the sight of the woman in front of her. Her mother.

She brought her hand back to her chest, away from her mother's hand.

''Clarke –''

''No.'' She cut her off immediately. She didn't want to see her, even less speak to her. ''What are you doing here ?'' But she still needed to know what her mother was doing in her home. Her bedroom.

''Your _girlfriend_ called me. You passed out, Clarke. You had a similar treatment for anxiety after your father died. You got sick because of one excipient. Didn't you remember ?''

Clarke blinked in confusion. This period of her life was blurred. She had been sick of everything, how could she remember something such as an allergy ? She knew she had end up at the hospital, but she hadn't been there just once. So, no, she didn't remember this specific excipient that had gotten her sick.

''Two months taking this medicine, Clarke, it could've killed you !'' Abigail growled.

Clarke had had several treatment, she was surprised she had started the one her mother was showing to her two months ago. Two months already ? _Time flies fast !_

''You know what could've killed me sooner ? Finn. But you didn't care about him hurting me.'' she spit.

''What are you talking about ? Finn loved you ! If you had married him when I told you to you would've been safe years ago !''

Clarke stared at her mother's face, looking for clues. But nothing told her that her mother was lying, or meant what she said in a bad way. Abby really had no idea.

''You really think I attempted suicide twice...'' she said, sadness flooding through her voice. ''It was his fault, both times. Finn's.'' Clarke needed to cry. To let everything out. But her eyes were exhausted and she felt empty for the few seconds that she used to tell her story. ''You saw the marks on my wrists everytime I came home. He liked our first time too much and he wanted to try other things. I tried to say no but he always insisted. It hurt too much, so I told him I wanted to break up. He asked if I could stay one last evening, that we didn't have to do anything else than watch TV, and he spiked my soda. A lot. Remember when you thought I'd tried to kill myself with drugs ? I didn't.''

''Clarke –''

''I'm not done,'' she cut her mom off. She needed to tell everything now. Or she would never be able to do it again. ''The other time, when you thought I'd cut my left wrist ? I had tried to free myself from his fucking handcuff for so long that I hurt myself, and when Finn got out of the shower and saw me with my wrist open, he called 911, exactly like the first time, and said I did it.''

Clarke was crying now, her voice screaming the truth. ''All this time you thought I needed him. But I didn't want to die because of Dad's death. I was dying because you only cared about me getting married with that asshole. I could never be the daughter you wanted, Mom ! At least, Lexa isn't trying to make me the perfect wife and employee.''

Her chest was going up and down fast, which made Abigail check her daughter's vitals.

''I'm so, so sorry, Clarke... I tried to save your father. I tried, Clarke, but there was nothing that could be done. I wish I could go back and fix everything, be the mother you needed... but I see my mistakes, now, and I'll testify at Finn's trial if you need me to.''

Clarke stopped sobbing. Her mother didn't deserve her tears. ''There won't be any trial,'' she spit, ''Lexa's lawyers already did the job. Lexa is the only one my son and I need.''

''Clarke...''

''Go. If I ever feel like talking to you ever again, I'll call you. After all, your bloody hospital has a partnership with my wife's company.''

''Wi –''

''Yes, I'm married. What you wanted, isn't it ? Now, get out of my apartment.''

Abigail couldn't get past her daughter's anger. At least not today. She left. Clarke could hear a short conversation between her mother and her wife. A minute after, Lexa entered the room with their son in her arms. Lexa looked worried, and the silence that filled the room felt too heavy for Clarke who spoke first.

''I didn't get my wedding kiss.''

Lexa smiled, but her eyes were glowing. After three hours of deep anxiety, she was finally letting go of it. She joined Clarke in bed and laid Aden on his mother's lap. Clarke brought him against her chest. The little boy started scratching her breasts with energy.

''Do you think he knew ?'' Clarke asked Lexa about Aden figuring the last event out.

Lexa thought for a moment. Aden felt many things. He seemed to understand a lot from his feelings. ''I think he will always care for you. Same as me.'' She leaned in and gave Clarke the kiss they both craved for. They remained silent for a few minutes after the kiss ended until Clarke spoke again.

''I'm not mad at you you know, for calling my mother. I know I would've died today if it weren't for you calling her.''

''Now we have your medical file. We can treat you properly. I sent your file to Jackson. Your mother brought what you needed for now and Jackson will give you a proper treatment for the weeks to come.''

Clarke pulled Lexa closer, laying herself and the brunette down on the bed. Aden didn't mind having his mother as a bed, especially after feeling Lexa's worry toward her all afternoon. The little boy found sleep in a matter of seconds.

''Lexa, we are a family.'' Clarke realized. ''Officially.'' That made her want to live forever.

Lexa rolled on her side to sneak an arm over her son and wife. ''I wanted to announce it tonight to my sisters but it can wait a few days.'' She hid her face in Clarke's neck. ''Let's get some rest, Clarke Woods.''

They both chuckled. Clarke couldn't wait to celebrate her wedding properly. With Lexa. In this same room.

* * *

 **Clarke could finally tell her mother the truth.**

 **It wasn't a very happy chapter. I was supposed to add another part to it but it will actually be chapter 34.**

 **Next chapter : the announcement and Drunk Lexa.**

 **Have a nice week ! :)**


	34. Chapter 34

**Hey ! I'm still here, with a new chapter !**

 **I liked writing this one, I hope you like reading it ! I took two weeks to write it, I'm sorry, this month is crazy. I don't know if I'll take as long for the next one or if I'll have it done before, I guess we'll see.**

 **Anyway, enjoy !**

* * *

Clarke was lying on her back, Lexa's warm body on her side. The brunette was laying wet kisses on her neck, something Clarke always enjoyed after sex. Lexa ran her hand over Clarke's waist, stopping on a tiny stretch mark she always liked for the simple reason that it was Clarke's.

''You didn't miss me at all,'' Clarke jokingly said at Lexa's energy after three days without any sexual encounter.

Lexa stopped at the comment to focus on Clarke's face. She saw the amusement in her wife's eyes and she was reassured. ''I wouldn't force you into anything like that if you didn't want it or if you weren't able to enjoy it.''

Clarke smiled. Lexa worried about everything when it came to her and even though that could sometimes be tiring, it was also really cute. ''I know. I did enjoy it.'' She pulled Lexa against her to kiss her. She was feeling better than she was on her wedding day. At least, the legal one, because Lexa would start organizing the official wedding after telling her sisters tonight. If Clarke didn't mind discretion, Lexa wanted a ceremony and a big party at the mansion for the whole world to know Clarke was hers and Lexa Woods was married to a _woman_.

''How could I say no to you ?'' Clarke added between two kisses.

''You can throw a tomato at me,'' Lexa referred to last night's event.

Clarke definitely interrupted the kissing session to defend herself. ''I was tired and your joke was terrible !''

''Well, I still don't understand why Aden gets his goodnight kiss every night and I don't. That's unfair.''

Clarke pushed Lexa back to lift her body up and throw herself on the brunette. ''If you wanted your kiss so bad, you should've cleaned your mouth from toothpaste first.''

''I thought you liked it when I kissed you after I brushed my teeth,'' Lexa chuckled.

Clarke collapsed on her with a laugh and Lexa became a pillow over again.

* * *

The door opened and Clarke's heart jumped into her chest. She had already met Lexa's sisters but tonight they were about to know about her being married to Lexa. What if they disagreed ? They could make her life a living hell !

''Hi,'' Anya told her, and Clarke, this time, was ready to answer properly. Anya wasn't that intimidating after all !

''Hi, A –'' she didn't have time to finish. Luna's arms wrapped her up. Anya's smirk showed Clarke it was all planned. Couldn't they meet normally for once ?

She tried to speak again but some other voices made her notice one man and two women coming inside the apartment.

''Lincoln ?'' Lexa said with surprise.

''Hey Lexie !'' the tall black man said, pulling Lexa in his arms.

''What – what are you doing here ?'' Lexa reacted, and Clarke noticed that, for the first time, Lexa was letting her mask down in front of other people, a group of people watching the reunion scene with teary eyes and big smiles. Clarke didn't know who this man was, but she could tell he was important for everyone else in this room.

''Clarke ?'' another voice called. Clarke moved her glance to the side and her mouth fell. This person she barely knew, but enough to be surprised to see her again.

''Octavia ? What are you –''

''Let's go settle in the living room, it will be easier to talk,'' Anya told everyone. They listened and the couch and chairs were soon occupied. Another guest was added to the list, someone Clarke wasn't happy to see, but apparently tonight was full of surprises. Lexa's family was bigger than Clarke thought.

''So how'd you get here ?'' Clarke asked Octavia.

''I've been with Lincoln for five months now. I met him on my trip to London's firm. It escalated quickly. Lincoln is... he's great you know... but anyway, what about you ?''

Clarke smiled. She was glad others were doing well too. She barely knew Octavia but she had spent enough time with her to tell she was brave and hardworking. ''You'll know soon enough,'' she answered, because in a matter of minutes Lexa would tell everyone Clarke and her were married.

Her wife's voice echoed through the room and Clarke thought it was _the_ moment. But it wasn't quite yet. ''Lucy, can I talk to you in private ?''

Right. The unwanted guest. Clarke kept herself from rolling her eyes. She hoped Lucy wouldn't ruin the evening.

Lexa brought Lucy in her office, the small room at the end of the corridor. ''Who asked you to come ?''

Lucy seemed anxious and scared. Lexa hadn't forgiven her yet after she was sent to work with Anya in the other building. Lexa knew Lucy had tricked Clarke but didn't know why. Lucy didn't know either how Lexa had known.

''Anya told me to. She thinks we should talk.'' she cautiously answered.

''Why would she think that ?'' Lexa said in a neither cold nor warm manner which was scarier than any of her other way of speaking. It was impossible to know what Lexa was feeling or thinking right now, but it seemed obvious to Lucy that her older sister was still mad at her.

''Because we're family,'' Lucy replied, standing still to show that she was serious about this.

''Are we, Lucy ?'' Lexa said, piercing Lucy's body and soul with her stare. ''Tell me. If we're family, as you say, why did you try to frame someone important to me ?''

''I didn't know ! I mean, I knew you knew her, but... I heard things and I thought... I told myself that getting to her would be a good way to get to you... you're always busy and everytime I asked you to go out with me you refused...''

''We had lunch several times. Don't you think it's a good start for a sisterly relationship ?''

Lucy seemed disappointed, but also sorrowed. Something was wrong with her, and Lexa started doubting her judgement toward her younger sister. They only knew each other for less than two years.

''Why did you come to me in the first place, Lucy ? When you found out we were related, why did you feel the urge to meet me ? You told me you wanted to know your family. Is this true ?''

''I needed to know...'' Lucy started, sadness filling her voice. ''I met our mother four times during my childhood and I never knew who she was to me until my foster father died. My foster mom lost it, she's in a house where she's treated properly. I try to go see her once in a while but she –'' Words were stuck in her throat. ''Whether she doesn't remember me or she says my father died because of me. You're the only family I have left. I don't know who my biological father is, I just know you look like our mother. I'm sorry for what I did to Clarke, I guess... I was jealous. I heard about everything Clarke did and the fact that you didn't fire her. I wanted you to take care of me instead of her, but I screwed up, so... I'm sorry.''

Lexa considered Lucy's story for a moment. She had forgiven Clarke for worse, why shouldn't she forgive Lucy ? She could give her a chance. See how things goes. After all, Lucy was related to her by blood. They could be family, if their relationship worked.

''We'll have lunch next week. We'll talk more then.'' That was all she could say for now. ''Let's get back to the living room. I want you to apologize to Clarke before our lunch.''

Lucy nodded and they left. Lexa felt sad for her but she needed time to believe this story. After all, Lucy had lied to her in the past. Trusting people had never been easy for Lexa.

In the living room, Clarke was sitting on the sofa, talking to Octavia sitting next to her. ''So you live in London with him now ?''

''Yes, we're doing pretty well. I was surprised when he told me he wanted me to come to some family reunion.'' Octavia explained, turning her head to see Lexa and Lucy coming back to them.

''But who's Lincoln to Lexa ?'' Clarke asked, still annoyed she was the only one who didn't know.

Lexa stopped near her and answered instead of Octavia. ''He's my father's nephew from another marriage. My father's first wife had a brother who had a son. My father always wished he had Lincoln as a son. He even tried to marry us a long time ago.''

Lincoln laughed out loud like it was some joke, but Clarke and Octavia were both staring at Lexa eyes wide.

''Your family is hell of a roaller coaster,'' Clarke commented when she regained her composure.

Lexa politely smile. She didn't ask her family to come only for Clarke to know more about them. It was time for the announcement. ''Clarke, if you may.''

The young mother stood up, hands hidden in her jacket's pockets, something the others hadn't pointed out since they arrived. Lexa, standing with her hands held behind her back, stared at each guest before announcing the news. She let her right hand down to get Clarke to take it in her own left hand. Both hands joined, fingers entwined and the rings appeared to everyone's sight.

''Clarke and I are officially married.'' Lexa announced.

Lincoln and Octavia looked confused, as they had no idea of Clarke and Lexa's relationship before. But Anya and Luna knew the women's wedding was coming up, consequently they weren't surprise to see that it had already happened. Lucy, on the other hand, was hit by a brick wall. She had been wrong about Clarke from the beginning. She understood, now, how bad what she had done was, because she had used Lexa's future wife for her personal issues. Lexa surely loved Clarke more than her and Lucy knew that she would have to earn Lexa's trust over again. Something she had struggled to have in the first place. Something she had had for so little time.

''You also need to know...'' Clarke added, encouraged by Lexa, ''Lexa adopted my son, Aden, which makes him her son too. Aden and I we... we both joined the Woods' family, and I hope you'll accept us both.''

''I did accept Octavia into my home, and she isn't even married to Lincoln,'' Lexa emphasized.

Lincoln chuckled. Lexa and him weren't blood-related, but everytime they met they felt like they were brother and sister. Lexa didn't talk about him much, though, because Lincoln had another family name and didn't want the Woods' name to pull him into fame's craziness. He had a very nice job in London, and that was enough for him.

''Well, Lex, I'm glad you finally found the one. She seems lovely !'' he congratulated her.

''I don't know you much, but I've spent some time with Clarke before, and I wanna thank you for taking care of her. She never accepted our help. She never even told us what was going on.'' Octavia told Lexa. Clarke had always been a mystery to her, but she couldn't help herself with being happy about this woman's positive evolution.

''Thank you, Lincoln. Octavia.'' She paused. She was glad this announcement had gone well, but she was still expecting her sisters' reactions. Anya's and Luna's. Because those two were the closest family she had, and even though it was hard for her to admit, their opinion did matter.

''When do we eat ?'' Anya asked as soon as Lexa laid a glance on her. A staring contest started between the two women and both Clarke and Luna shared an apologetic look toward the woman beside them, Anya for Luna, Lexa for Clarke, before the latter decided to cut this never-ending contest off.

''I'm gonna grab the plates.'' Clarke said, to which Luna added ''I'll help you.''

Lexa and Anya raised a brow at the women's weird behaviours, but also smirked at each other, knowing they weren't done yet.

In the kitchen, Luna didn't hesitate before pulling Clarke in a gentle embrace.

''I'm glad you're family.'' she said, and Clarke thought she was about to melt in this fluffy encounter.

''Thank you.'' she answered once they parted. She turned around to grab the first plates from the fridge. When Luna saw them, stars appeared in her eyes. Clarke smiled, then remembered something important.

''Oh, by the way... Lexa was too busy challenging your sister to tell everyone, but she wants to hold a ceremony and a big party at the mansion. We're legally married, but she wants to do things in a more ostentatious way for the medias to know.''

Luna took the plates Clarke was holding to her. ''You don't seem very happy about it.'' she noticed at the very neutral way Clarke had spoken.

The young mother stopped, a plate of canapés that she had just got out of the fridge in her hands. ''I'm not into big parties, but... Aden and I are American, now. I can't be scared anymore. Well, not about me and my son getting kicked out. Lexa, on the other hand...'' She laid the plate on the counter to slip a hand into her hair. Seeing Clarke's change of mood, Luna kept quiet, waiting for her to speak her mind. ''Azgeda Corp. attempted to murder her. Since then she keeps telling me that everything is fine, but how can it be ? Everytime she'll go on a trip, everytime she'll have important meetings, she's gonna tell me it's all good. She's a fucking CEO, how can everything be fine ?!'' she nearly yelled, but kept her voice low to avoid being heard from the others in the living room.

Luna took Clarke's hand in both of her own in a sweet, reassuring manner. She waited for Clarke to look at her in the eyes before speaking. ''The first time I saw you, it showed that you cared for her. You can't let love turn into fear. You have to trust Lexa, believe she won't let anything like what happened with Azgeda Corp. happen again. Lexa knows how to keep people safe, but she needs to know that those people are on her side. Especially you.''

Clarke nodded with teary eyes, but no drop came down. Luna had a nice effect on people, and Clarke felt peaceful for a short moment which was interrupted by laughters and shouts coming from the living room. Clarke rushed into it, followed by a calm, smiling Luna.

''What the –'' Clarke found Lexa and Anya on a drinking contest. Twenty shots each.

''I won !'' Lexa exlaimed.

''Nope little sis', I was first.'' Anya replied.

''Lincoln, tell Anya I won.'' she murdered him with her stare.

''I'm not getting between you and Anya. Last time I did I ended up at the hospital.''

''That was your fault,'' Anya pointed out.

''I got my arm broken trying to separate you !'' the young man retorted.

''ENOUGH !'' Clarke interrupted them. ''The food is ready, get those drinks out of the table.''

Anya shrugged at Clarke's sharpness. She didn't expect Clarke to have it in her, but she was glad Clarke did, because it meant Lexa wouldn't always be able to do as she pleased.

Lexa waited for Clarke to go back to the kitchen with Luna. Once they were out of her sight, she told Anya ''The first one who finishes a pint of whisky.''

Anya smirked. ''Aren't ready to admit that you're a loser ?''

''A pint of whisky _and_ a plate of thirty canapés.'' Lexa challenged her.

Anya didn't need to answer, her smirk was obvious enough. She wasn't going to let her little sister win.

Clarke and Luna took the plates from the kitchen and brought them on the table. When Clarke laid the last plate, Lexa finished her drink, one second before Anya.

''Boom ! You're out ! I win !'' she yelled.

But Anya wasn't ready to admit her defeat. ''I won the first round, meaning we're even. I say final round : two pints of whisky !''

Clarke's mind exploded at Anya's last words. ''Are you insane ?! No way ! You're not swallowing one liter of whisky for the sake of a stupid game !''

Anya stared at Clarke, unhappy about the young woman's judgement. She looked over to Lexa who was staring at Clarke with empty eyes. ''Lexa, your wife thinks you're gonna humiliate yourself.''

It was enough to push Lexa out of her short moment of calmness. ''I'm not a loser !'' Lexa stood up and took Anya to the sofa for a new drinking contest.

''I think I'm gonna go,'' Lucy said. She had been shyly watching the scene and knew she didn't have a right to be a part of this evening. ''Clarke, can I talk to you for a minute ?''

Clarke needed a break to find a way to deal with Lexa. She accompanied Lucy to the door.

''Clarke...'' Lucy started an apology that Clarke listened to because she knew, somehow, that it mattered to Lexa. ''What I did to you was wrong, I apologize for it. I will never bother you again. I wish you the best with Lexa, she really is a wonderful person.''

Clarke raised a brow, surprised to hear sadness in Lucy's voice. Maybe Lucy wanted to spend more time with her sister after all...

''We've all done wrong things. Trying to fix them is an act of bravery. Thank you, Lucy.''

Clarke didn't want to waste her energy being mad at Lucy for something that happened in the darkest part of her life. She had moved on, and thought that it might be good for Lucy to move on too.

Lucy nodded and left, relieved Clarke had accepted her apology.

* * *

Clarke ate with Luna, Lincoln and Octavia for twenty minutes before she got tired of the drinking game between Anya and Lexa.

''I think we're gonna go,'' Lincoln said, Octavia and him putting their jacket back on to leave. ''Tell Lexa to send me a card for your wedding. We don't want to miss it.''

''Good luck,'' Octavia added.

Clarke walked them to the door and was surprised by Luna standing right behind her back.

''Don't tell me they ended up killing each other.'' Clarke commented.

''Anya and Lexa have their moments. Tonight, it's one of them.'' Luna calmly said.

Clarke didn't understand how Luna could remain calm when her sisters were drinking whisky glass after whisky glass.

''If they don't listen to me I'm gonna grab Lexa's belt and drag her into bed. What they're doing is dangerous !''

Luna looked at her sisters. It was barely 10pm, yet they were both drunk. And knowing them, it would only get worse... ''I think we had enough surprises for tonight. Lucy, Lincoln and his girlfriend... I'm gonna bring Anya home. Do you want me to take Aden for the night ? I can bring him back to you tomorrow afternoon.''

''Why would you want to take Aden ?'' Clarke asked suspiciously.

Luna was looking over to her sisters and Clarke followed her glance. They looked like two kids chuckling and yelling about... about what ? Nothing they were saying made sense.

''You're gonna have enough of a baby with my sister,'' Luna stated, ''I can bring both Anya and Aden at the mansion, but there's no way I'm taking Lexa.''

 _What the –_ Clarke doubted Luna's offer, but the woman seemed to know a lot about Lexa and Clarke decided to listen to her. ''Okay. He's sleeping, take him gently and get Anya out of this place.''

Luna smiled, nodded and walked toward the bedrooms. Before she disappeared completely, Clarke shouted ''And if anything happens to my son, I'm killing your sisters.'' Even though she didn't literally mean it, she was still worried about her son. As always.

Luna didn't need to threaten Anya for the woman to leave the apartment. She only said ''We're leaving,'' and Anya followed. Maybe Luna was always the driver and Anya didn't want to go back to the mansion on foot ? Or maybe Luna's peaceful behaviour had an effect on Anya too, even when the latter was drunk.

* * *

Lexa seemed lost since Anya's departure. She was sitting on the floor, against the couch, playing with an empty bottle of whisky in her hand.

 _Don't tell me she drank all of that by herself_ , Clarke mentally complained. She knew Lexa had drunk a lot tonight, but she didn't know exactly how much. ''Lexa ?'' she gently called.

The brunette didn't answer and Clarke walked over to her, holding a hand for her to reach. Lexa looked at Clarke with wide eyes, looking like she was seeing a ghost, or any other type of supernatural creature.

''Lexa ?'' Clarke called again, trying to get her wife back to reality.

''You're so hot.'' Lexa spit.

Clarke rolled her eyes. ''Come on, you drank too much, let's go to sleep.''

Lexa took her hand to get up, getting Clarke to let out a relieved sigh, but didn't do as she was expected. She pushed Clarke against the furniture behind them and buried her head in the pale neck, kissing and licking with some disturbing fever.

Clarke yelled in surprise and groaned when her back hit the furniture. ''Lexa !''

The brunette stopped moving for a couple of seconds. She pushed her head back and Clarke noticed the fear in her eyes. ''I'm sorry'', she said, confusing Clarke more than she already was. She stepped back, her feet hitting the sofa, and she fell on it. ''I didn't mean to hurt you. I can't control myself, I'm sorry.''

Clarke tried to step forward to join her on the sofa and comfort her, but Lexa raised a hand for her to stop walking.

''Don't come ! I don't want to hurt you !'' Lexa shouted in fear.

''Lexa...'' Clarke tried to reason her, ''you're not going to hurt me. Just come to bed with me, okay ? You need to rest.''

Lexa stared at her and Clarke thought that she was going to listen, but instead, Lexa pouted. ''I'm hungry.''

Clarke closed her eyes, not ready to believe Luna's words yet about having more than one baby. She sighed and brought Lexa a plate of food. Lexa ate for about thirty seconds. ''I don't like it. It tastes weird.''

Clarke sighed once again. ''Didn't whisky taste oddly ? Lexa, if you're not hungry, just go to bed.''

Lexa found a new interest in a bottle of wine laying on the table. She stood up but never reached it as Clarke grabbed her by the waist. To Clarke's surprise, Lexa turned around in her arms and grabbed her lips with her own. Clarke would've pushed her away if Lexa wasn't kissing her with such eagerness. She let Lexa push her onto the sofa and unbutton her shirt, but Lexa suddenly stopped to stare at her with wide, frightened eyes.

''Lexa ?'' Clarke gently called. The brunette looked like a scared little girl, and Clarke was worried by Lexa's sudden change of behaviour.

''I killed her,'' Lexa murmured, getting Clarke to lift up and bring her in a strong embrace.

''What are you talking about ? You're fine, Lexa, you're fine.'' Clarke tried to reassure her, but Lexa seemed stuck in a nightmare.

''I disappointed her and she couldn't bear life anymore.'' Lexa's voice was shaking. Apparently, alcohol was troubling her in more than two ways. ''I never told mum I loved her...''

 _Oh. Shit._ Clarke had expected everything, but this ? Lexa never talked about her mother, at least never to bring some souvenirs, and now she was admitting of killing her ? No, there was more to this story, and Clarke would figure it out. But not tonight. Lexa needed to rest and sober up.

''I'm sure she knew.'' Clarke softly said. She laid back onto the sofa, pulling Lexa against her. The brunette laid her head on the blonde's chest, eyes wet with tears. Silence filled the room and Clarke was starting to fall asleep. She thought Lexa was already sleeping, but the brunette's voice came back into her ears.

''I'm hungry,'' Lexa complained.

 _So that's drunk Lexa..._ Clarke thought. This night was going to be long for Clarke who couldn't understand the mecanism of her wife's drunk mind.


	35. Chapter 35

Lexa opened the apartment door and walked in with Aden in her arms. She found Clarke sleeping on the sofa. The blonde opened an eye, her forehead furrowed by her half opened eyes.

''Clarke ?'' Lexa called carefully. She decided to go lay Aden down in his bed. She came back in the living room, arms free, and sat on the floor in front of the couch. Clarke looked exhausted. And Lexa knew it was her fault. ''I'm so sorry.'' She wanted to take Clarke in her arms and cuddle her but she didn't know how mad Clarke was.

To Lexa's surprise, Clarke laid a hand on her cheek. Clarke looked at her for a while before closing her eyes again.

''Just come here and shut up.'' Clarke muttered. She lazily pulled Lexa's arm for the brunette to lay down on the couch with her. Lexa did, half lying on Clarke as the couch was too small for the both of them. Clarke rolled her arm around Lexa's waist and ran her other hand through the dark hair. She exhaled in comfort and fell back into sleep. Lexa took a nap too, enjoying the embrace.

* * *

Clarke woke up alone on the sofa. Lexa had gone to take care of Aden. Clarke heard babbling and lifted in a sitted position. She found Lexa playing with Aden on the floor. He was on her lap, Lexa showing him how great that baby toy was while tickling him with her other hand. He slapped the toy out of Lexa's hand and she laughed.

''I guess I failed convincing you,'' she told him before she laid a kiss on his short black hair.

Clarke wanted to join them, but her head ached. She needed some fresh air. Her heart ached at the idea that she couldn't join her wife and son, but she needed a break. She stood up and walked to the door. She grabbed her shoes and put them on, causing Lexa to turn and watch her with her eyes full of questions.

''I'm going for a walk, I'll be right back,'' Clarke said before she left.

Lexa didn't know what to think of it. Clarke didn't seem mad, but she wasn't very nice either.

* * *

Clarke walked for a while, not paying attention to where she was going. She had taken care of Lexa for hours, the brunette switching from lustful to guilty, ending it up by two hours of throwing up in the bathroom. Not only Clarke had had to take care of Lexa, but she had also had to take care of Aden who had been woken up in the middle of the night by an asthma attack. She had slept a few hours today but she was still on her nerves. Her hormonal treatment wasn't helping her mood and Clarke only wanted calm and rest.

Last night, Lexa had had nightmares about her mother and Clarke couldn't stop thinking about what could've happened for Lexa to blame herself. Lexa never told her everything about her family, but they were married now, Clarke had told her everything about her dad's death, about why she left home, what her mother and Finn did... maybe it was time for Lexa to tell her about her parents. There were too many things that remained untold.

She found herself in a park. She remembered that one for having slept a few times there before she bought her first car. She sat on a bench. She enjoyed the fresh air. There wasn't anyone around. It was calm, the fresh air caressing Clarke's cheeks and arms. She decided to stay here a little while. Then, she would go back to her wife and son.

Lexa and her were married for less than a week and Clarke feared for what was coming next. Lexa insisted on having an opened ceremony at the mansion to make their marriage public but Clarke wasn't sure she was ready for fame. She had just become someone, some normal young woman, and her son was about to grow up safely. In a bit more than two years, Aden would start school and that fact made Clarke's stomach flutter. Time already went fast and it would only go faster. So why Clarke was here, sitting on a bench in the middle of a park while her family was waiting for her at home ? She was afraid. She was scared of going mad, be a bad mother and wife, because she had hardly been able to handle Lexa and her son when they both needed her last night. Some rest and aspirin and Lexa had been back on track, but it didn't work this way for Clarke. There was always something wrong with her.

Lexa had told her that she only needed time and patience. She gave birth ten months ago, her body needed time to adapt. But it seemed everlasting for her. Life was going on. She got married, and she just wanted to be happy with Lexa and Aden. Why did she have to be the troubled one ? She not only constantly worried about her family, but she also hated her treatment which made her mood go up and down in an instant. She wished she could stop it, but she knew it would only make things worse. She didn't want to worry Lexa either. The brunette already had a stressful job, Clarke didn't want to interfere with this personal issue that always made Lexa worry for her.

Her thoughts were interrupted by the appearance of some young girl. The latter was looking at the bench from afar. Clarke stood up and walked to her. The girl took a step back, hesitating.

''Hey, are you okay ?'' Clarke asked, curious.

The girl was pale, her brown hair hidden under a beanie. She seemed to be around nine-ten years old. She hesitated. Should she talk to this woman ? She was just asked how she was doing. Nothing wrong. She nodded a yes. It only made Clarke curiouser.

''You wanted the bench I was sitting on ?''

The girl looked at the bench a few steps behind Clarke.

''You can stay, I'll go somewhere else, I don't mind.'' she said. Her voice didn't sound as hesitant as her behaviour.

One big question popped in Clarke's mind and the young woman knew she wouldn't let this girl go without getting an answer.

''Are you living in the streets ?''

Clarke knew too well about living outside to tell when someone was. The girl's clothes weren't very clean, her jacket was a bit ragged on one side. _She's so young..._ Clarke thought.

The girl's eyes widened in fear and she took off.

''Hey, wait ! I'm not going to harm you !'' Clarke yelled. She started running after her. This girl's situation, Clarke knew without really knowing. She knew how it was to live in the streets, the fear and the cold, the loneliness. How could she let this girl go without knowing more about her ?

She stopped, breathless. The girl was fast, Clarke lost her. She kneeled down, a stabbing pain hitting her to the ground. It felt like a strong side stitch but in her lower belly. She wasn't supposed to push herself that much. She was supposed to take it easy, go back to exercising step after step. But this race, she couldn't have avoided. This little girl's face was stuck in her mind. The girl was like her, but younger.

Clarke laid down on her back trying to calm herself. She was on a small path in the middle of the park. She didn't remember where she came from. She could only think about the fact that she had let that girl go, someone who needed help. If Lexa had failed to find her like she had failed to reach this girl, she'd be dead now. She groaned. Pain was strong, but disappointment hit her stronger. She closed her eyes. She'd go home, but she had to wait until the pain in her belly was gone. She listened to the sound of the leaves moving in the air. She remembered the few nights she had spent here. She remembered who she was back then. Exactly like that little girl, scared and lonely.

* * *

It was dark outside when Clarke opened the door to her apartment. As soon as she closed the door behind her, Lexa appeared in front of her, cold face but terrified eyes.

''Where were you ?'' the brunette asked.

Clarke's heart hurt. She didn't mean to worry Lexa. She didn't have her phone on her. She had tried to clean the dust off of her clothes and hair to not alarm Lexa, but it still showed. On her way out of the park, she had come back to the bench to see if the girl was there, but she never saw her again. When she woke up and noticed the dark sky, Clarke had panicked at the idea of her family waiting for her. She hadn't expected to sleep for long, but pain always exhausted her. She thought of this last full day. She had failed everything. Her family and a child.

Clarke tried to answer Lexa's question but words were stuck in her throat. She had to shower and go to bed. It was the only thing she could do for now. She slowly walked with the purpose of getting to the bathroom, but obviously, Lexa stopped her.

''It's 1am Clarke, I was worried. I thought... I thought you were gone again.''

 _Again_. The last word broke her heart. Lexa thought that because she had run away before she was likely to do it anytime. But Clarke didn't want to leave her family. She loved her son. She loved her wife. Today's promenade had turned wrong, and she would explain everything to Lexa. They had a lot of explaining to do, both of them. Just not tonight.

Clarke disappeared in the bathroom without a word. Lexa was more scared than she was angry. Her biggest fear was about losing Clarke and today she thought she did. Until Clarke came home. Clarke was here but she wouldn't talk to her. She looked terrible, like something bad had happened and Lexa wished Clarke would tell her. But the only noise she could hear was water streaming from the showerhead.

Clarke was waiting for hot water to comfort her, but it seemed to be getting worse. She was sorrowed and angry because she was trying her best and was always failing. Why couldn't she be the perfect mom ? The best wife ? Why couldn't she help one kid in trouble ?

Her fists tight for a couple of minutes now, she punched the wall in furious despair. She hated feeling useless. Her hand hurt like hell, her knuckles were reddening because of the blood that was escaping them. She wanted to shout, but her son was probably sleeping and he was more important than her suffocating pain.

The bathroom's door opened. Lexa had heard Clarke punching the wall. She turned off the faucet and grabbed a towel to wrap Clarke up in it and get her out of the shower. Clarke's body was tensed, her fists still tight.

Lexa pulled her out and held her tight in her arms. No matter what happened, she'd be here for her.

''It's okay, it's okay,'' she tried to calm her down.

Clarke didn't move. Tears wouldn't come out, same as words. Lexa kept her in her arms until she could move again. The brunette helped Clarke dress and got her to follow her into their room. Lexa had many things to tell Clarke. She needed to apologize for getting drunk last night, but Clarke also had some explaining to do about today.

She let Clarke sitting on the bed to go get some bandages. She cleaned Clarke's bleeding knuckles in silence and wrapped her hand in white bandages. Clarke was looking down. Lexa understood it wasn't the right time for a chat. She laid in bed beside Clarke and gently pulled the blonde against her. Clarke let her. Lexa's arms had a calming effect.

Lexa laid a kiss at the top of her head. ''We're gonna get through it. Anything,'' she whispered. Clarke's arms slipped around her waist and Lexa's heart felt less heavy. Lexa had her wife in her arms and that's all that mattered.

* * *

Clarke woke up alone in bed. Lexa had woken up early to go to work. Clarke changed her bandages, got dressed and found Aden's craddle empty. Lexa had brought him to his nanny so Clarke could sleep longer and join her at work as soon as she'd be awake.

She hurried. She stopped in front of the kitchen. Should she eat something ? Should she take her meds ? For now, she didn't want any. She left. She'd eat and take her medication later.

She took her car and drove to work. She walked and took the elevator to get to Lexa's office. The brunette was focussed on her computer, but as soon as Clarke came in her glance moved from her screen to her wife. She didn't say a word. She wasn't sure of what to say. Clarke spoke first.

''Hey,'' she joined her own desk and sat. ''Thank you, for last night.''

Lexa's heart warmed up at the idea that Clarke and her were still fine. ''Are you okay ?''

Clarke thought about how to answer the question properly. She wasn't feeling terrible but something was wrong. She needed to tell Lexa.

''I needed to walk for a bit after the night we had and... I found myself in the eastern park. I saw this girl and she... I think she's living in the streets like I used to. But... she's so young...''

Lexa could understand, now, why Clarke had been so angry last night. ''Have you tried talking to her ?''

Clarke nodded. ''I did, she ran away. I just wanted to know what was going on, see if I could help, because...'' she swallowed hard, she couldn't deny this fact : ''because if you had failed me like I failed her yesterday I'd be dead.''

Lexa didn't want to hear any more blaming. She stood up and joined Clarke. She kneeled in front of her to look at her in the eyes from below. ''Clarke, this girl ran away just like you did when you thought I was stalking you. She's probably scared, just like you were.'' She took Clarke's hand in hers, caressing the back of it with her thumb. ''If you really want to know, we can go to the park tonight after work, before picking up Aden. We'll take a look and if we see her, we'll talk to her.''

Clarke pouted, but it was a sad pout. A pout Lexa didn't want to see on her wife's face.

''I tried to run after her,'' Clarke whispered, her voice lowered by sorrow, ''I lost her after something like five minutes and then I fell down. I can't even run for long without collapsing. And you want me to find her...''

Lexa stood and took Clarke in her arms. ''We will find her. We will discover what's going on with her and if she needs help, we'll give it to her. There is no 'you finding her', it's a 'we', understood ? We're in this together.'' She closed her eyes, hypnotized by the blonde's smell. ''And if there's some running to do, I'll do it. I've heard I'm kinda good at running after girls.''

Clarke chuckled in the brunette's neck. She remained silent for a minute, enjoying Lexa's presence, and pulled her head back to look at the green mesmerizing eyes she loved.

''Lexa... I have my issues but... apparently you have yours too. When you were drunk you had nightmares. You were saying you killed your mother.''

Lexa looked down. Her sorry look alerted Clarke. ''I apologize for how I must've behaved,'' Lexa said, unable to look at Clarke for now, ''I shouldn't have drunk that much, I'm supposed to be done with it.'' She let go of Clarke and leaned on the edge of the blonde's desk. ''After Costia died, I pushed my family away. I didn't see what was wrong with my mother. She died not long after my father. He had never been very lovely toward her and I, her own flesh, left her alone. I should've talked to her, try to understand her. I blamed her too but she was probably innocent. And now I'll never know.''

She looked down again, thoughtful, and lifted her stare to look into Clarke's focussed eyes.

''You should talk to your mom, Clarke. Give her a chance before you regret it.''

Clarke understood now why Lexa had insisted on her having a chat with her mother. Maybe Lexa was right, but Clarke didn't know if she was ready to have a normal conversation with her mother. But for now, it wasn't her mother whom she missed.

''Lexa,'' she called the brunette who was going back to her desk. Lexa turned around to look at her wife. Clarke chuckled and shyly asked ''do you think we could take off for a couple days, just Aden and us ? I mean, I know your work is important but –''

''Of course. I know the perfect place, not so far from here.''

Clarke was dumbfounded. Did Lexa just say yes ?

''Is next weekend good for you ?'' Lexa asked, already picking up her phone to plan it.

''Well...'' Clarke couldn't believe Lexa was really accepting to leave town with her and Aden, even for only two days. ''Yes. Yes, it's good for me.''

Clarke was already excited. She had many issues to fix, but having Lexa and her son far away from this crazy town for a couple of days made the pain easier to bear. Actually, she couldn't wait to have them for herself, especially if she could have Lexa for herself in a very big, private area where they would not risk to wake Aden up by being too noisy. Clarke was already dreaming of it, and hopefully Lexa would surprise her with the perfect place for a young married couple with a baby.

* * *

 **Lexa never tells much about her family, she always goes clue after clue... but Clarke will know everything eventually.**

 **So, as you probably noticed, this chapter is a bit special because I've decided to add one character to the story. It wasn't planned at first, but I really like this character and I hope you will too !**

 **Thanks to everyone who reviewed, it's much appreciated ! See you soon :)**


	36. Chapter 36

Her pockets were empty. Clarke had been a hundred per cent sure she had change in her front jeans pocket but they were empty. Facing the vending machine, Clarke moaned in frustration. Today, she didn't feel like eating chocolate bars, but apples. Walking passed the vending machines on floor twenty-two, she had seen the perfect shining green apples and her saliva was now threatening to choke her. She stopped in front of it, she looked for change in her pockets.

Nothing. _Dammit_. The money she earned being sent on her account, she didn't go to get it in cash anymore and she had run out of change. She sighed, her eyes stuck on one specific green apple. Someone arrived beside her and she was surprised by a hand reaching to the machine to buy some snack out of it. She raised her and saw a familiar face, one that she hadn't seen in a very long time.

''Bellamy ?'' She used to spend some time with Raven, Octavia, her brother, Jasper, Monty... so many people she didn't know that well and that she was now meeting again one after the other. Was it supposed to be a good thing ? If Bellamy was still working here, then he knew what she had done here.

''Oh, Clarke,'' he said, surprised to see her, a chocolate bar in his hand. ''It's been a while. How are you doing ?''

''I'm doing fine,'' she answered. She didn't want to spill her life to him now. She couldn't understand everything that was going on, so she'd rather keep it to herself. ''What about you ?''

Bellamy opened his mouth to answer but he hesitated. Something was on his mind. ''Look, Clarke... I've heard things and... and I wanted to apologize, you know, about asking you out several times ? I should've seen you were in trouble and help you. Octavia told me about... well, anyway. You didn't go out with us much but, er, I should've been more friendly.''

Clarke had received a few apologies lately. Apparently, people waited for someone to get better before they thought about apologizing for doing something wrong or not doing anything to help. Clarke couldn't blame anyone for not helping her because she had refused their help. But she didn't really care about their apologies either. It was unnecessary.

''It's okay, Bellamy. I never asked for your help. I can't blame you for not helping me. And you weren't the only one asking me out, so, it doesn't matter anymore.''

He looked at her for a few seconds and nodded. There was nothing more to say. He noticed Clarke was frowning at the vending machine.

''Are you buying something ?'' he asked her.

''No,'' she replied, frustrated. She turned around, ready to walk away from this mischievous vending machine.

''Hey, Clarke, if you don't have change you can use your card !'' Bellamy stopped her. She turned around, interested. ''Well,'' Bellamy spoke again, ''I used the change I had left for the bar I just bought but, so you know, you can use your card.''

Clarke came back in front of the vending machine. Bellamy gave her a smile and left. She took her credit card out of her wallet. The latter only had two cards : a credit card and an ID. She inserted the credit card in the machine which answered ' _ERROR_ '. The sign disappeared and the machine went back to normal. Clarke couldn't pick her choice. _What the fuck ?!_ The machine had her card and didn't want to give it back. Clarke failed a few times. _I just want a damn apple !_ She was pissed off because life kept getting complicated, even for the most usual things like buying an apple from a vending machine. Her nerves couldn't take much lately, and they couldn't bear this lack of luck. Clarke punched the machine's glass. A bad noise escaped from her fist, the latter leaving a crack in the glass. Jaws clenched, she kept her scream in. It hurt, and Clarke thought for a minute that she was going to suffocate as air couldn't get in nor out.

She left the floor before anyone could come to take her to the boss' office for violent behaviour. She went up to get back to her office but was stopped by Lexa's assistant.

''Hey, Clarke,'' she stood up, ''are you okay ?'' she noticed Clarke's bleeding hand. ''Lexa is meeting someone right now, it wouldn't be a very good idea to come in with your hand injured. There's a small infirmery on this floor, no nurse but I can help you clean up your wound.''

Clarke sighed. She thought she could go see Lexa and feel better, but Lexa was busy. She nodded at the assistant. She couldn't leave her hand like this anyway.

They walked to a small room. The assistant, whom Clarke liked calling 'Holy' because she was always the one to help you no matter what, unlocked the door with her badge. Against the wall in front of them, from right to left : a cupboard, a sink and a bed. Clarke was told to sit on the latter.

''Lexa asked for these rooms to be created a few months after she became CEO. She wanted each floor to have one room where people could go in case they got sick during work hours. But you have to use your badge to unlock the door, so you'd be busted fast if you used this room everyday to take a nap,'' Holy explained.

She opened the cupboard and got out what she needed to take care of Clarke's hand. Clarke let her do what was needed. She felt calmer, but she still had a headache and her lower belly felt weird, as usual. Hopefully, with her treatment, Clarke would be okay in a few weeks.

''You seem on edge,'' Holy commented.

Clarke looked down at her hands. She watched the woman clean up her bloody hand. Clarke was often pissed off for nearly nothing lately. ''It's been... complicated, lately. A lot of things going on and – and I can't handle much.''

The assistant threw the dirty bandages in the basket under the sink beside her. She was careful, her moves free from anxiety, anger, tourment. Clarke wished she could be like her.

''I suppose that it must not be easy,'' Holy said, ''the wedding, your son, Lexa... she's different, now, you know. She used to be harsh, and people respected her for that, but now she's... she's truly confident. She always had some kind of sorrow. I could see it because I knew her before her life got turned upside down. So, now, I can see that you make her stronger. Maybe... maybe you should use her as your strength too.''

Clarke frowned, processing the last words. She had already let Lexa help, and she still had some issues. It had nothing to do with Lexa. ''She can't do much herself... I feel like I'm getting insane and I don't know if it's because of my body or if my meds are driving me crazy.''

The assistant threw the last bandages in the basket. ''All done.'' She looked at Clarke for a few seconds, thinking about what she should tell her. She wanted to help, as always, but she didn't know how until she remembered something. ''Hey, look, I have a friend who's a pharmacist. I can hand her your prescription so she can tell you if it's okay or not ? But, for now, I think you should keep taking your meds, I doubt they're the issue. Take them and rest here, Lexa won't be done before another hour. I'm leaving in half an hour, Lexa is aware. Rest well.''

She left the room, leaving Clarke alone. The young mother left to go get her meds from her locker. She took them and went back to the infirmary, using her access badge. She felt dizzy for a couple of minutes before she fell asleep.

* * *

She couldn't see much when she opened her eyes. The room was dark, and not a shade of light was coming under the door from the corridor. She carefully stood up. Her head still felt dizzy. She walked to where she assumed the door was and left the room. The corridors were dark. There were only a couple lights : the exit signs. She tried to go inside Lexa's office, but the doors were locked. Her phone was inside. She needed to get it. It was probably the middle of the night and Clarke had promised Lexa she wouldn't get home late again like the other day. She looked around, there had to be a key somewhere ! She searched the assistant's desk. Nothing. _Dammit !_

She went back to the office's doors and tried to force them open. She wasn't strong enough. She needed her phone. She needed to call Lexa, tell them she was fine, tell her she was coming home. She'd take her car and leave. _The keys._ Her car keys were inside the office too, along with her phone. But the door couldn't be opened. Anxiety stroke her and Clarke tried to hit the door open. Her fists only got worse, and her feet started hurting. She let herself fall on the floor, breathless. She had to go back home on foot, but she didn't know if she'd be strong enough.

She looked up and noticed the phone on the assistant's desk. It was a desk phone, maybe it would work. Clarke stood up, grabbed it and listened. No noise. It was off too. The building was dead. Why tonight ? Why did the building have to be off the night Clarke woke up too late inside it ?

The elevators were off too. She took the stairs, not without despair.

A thousand floors below – that's what it felt for Clarke – the young mother sat down to rest a few minutes. All these steps had exhausted her. Her hands, legs and lower belly hurt. She had a bit of vertigo. But she had a long way before her.

It took her thirty minutes to find an exit door. There were many doors in this building, but very few emergency exits, something that Clarke would tell Lexa later.

Cold hit her as soon as she walked into the outside world. The streets were dark, light was shining from lampposts a couple streets away. Clarke sighed and started walking. This would be a long walk.

She was walking as fast as she could. She was holding her arms to protect them from cold, but it wasn't enough. Her shirt was not the best thing to wear outside in the middle of the night. She wondered why she had such bad luck, why she had to wake up so late in that small infirmary. She had been exhausted, of course, and she was again, but she had thought that something or someone would've woken her up. But she had woken up to find the whole building empty and electricity-free.

 _Karma's a bitch_ , she thought while recognizing the city's central park. She was walking in the street close to it. She could see the shadows of the trees, of the bench far away, and for a moment, she thought there was someone on this bench. She stopped. She tried to look more carefully but her head had been spinning for a little while, making it harder for Clarke to see clearly.

She thought about the shadow for a few seconds, hope jumping up. What if it was her ? The girl ? She should go and see. No, she had to go home, she was already late enough. Lexa was surely worried. She started walking away from the park when a car arrived from nowhere and stopped in front of her.

''Clarke !'' a woman said, getting out of the car, but it wasn't the woman Clarke wanted to see.

Clarke stepped back, blinking several times. Was her mind playing her again ? ''Mom ?''

''Clarke, get in the car, you're not well, you need to get to a good hospital.''

''What ?'' Clarke didn't understand much tonight. Abby grabbed her arms and started pulling her toward the car. ''What are you – get off !'' she yelled. Her mother was trying to kidnap her.

''Clarke, you're sick, come home with me, please ! You're only getting worse here, you shouldn't have left me, I'm the only one who can treat you well.''

Clarke grabbed the hand that was pulling her arm, trying to get it off of her. ''You, you already gave me a prescription, you – huh'' she thought about the meds which she hated for how she felt after taking them. Maybe her current condition wasn't only due to her post-pregnancy issues. Maybe Abigail's prescription had made her worse. ''You... you intoxicated me...'' Clarke should have never trusted her mother again. She attempted to push her away again but she felt something tickling her skin. Everything happened fast.

Someone jumped out of nowhere, pushing Abigail Kane away. What was tickling Clarke's neck fell onto the ground. Clarke's eyes could only see shades of black and white. Her legs lost control and she fell back onto the ground.

''Wake up, wake up !'' a somehow known-to-Clarke-voice said.

Clarke couldn't see, but she could hear almost everything.

''I have her phone, tell me who to call, please, don't die !''

The girl. The girl from the park. The girl who had run away from her the other day. Without realizing she was actually talking, she enumerated numbers. Then a robotic but worried voice spoke into her ear. The voice was fading into her mind.

''Lexa...'' she had only time to say before the noises around her became impossible for her to distinguish.

* * *

Lexa had been driving through town the whole evening. Clarke hadn't come home, and after one hour of worrying at home, Lexa had received a call from her assistant who had told her about her conversation with Clarke the last morning. The assistant's pharmacist friend had explained there was something wrong with Clarke's prescription. Since then, Lexa had been looking for her in every street, every park possible.

She was a few streets away from Clarke when an unknown number called her. At first, nothing, no one speaking. And then, Clarke's voice echoed through her phone, calling her name. Clarke didn't seem well. Another voice, some little girl's, spoke into the phone and told her where to find them.

Lexa was glad there was no one on the road that night. When she arrived, she rushed to Clarke and fell harshly on her knees beside her. The girl had disappeared, but at least Lexa had found Clarke.

''Hey Clarke, can you hear me ?'' Lexa called her. Clarke slightly moved, partly reassuring Lexa. A few feet away, Lexa noticed an unconscious woman lying on the floor. Abigail Kane. Anger poured into Lexa's heart, and she decided to focus on her wife.

She called an ambulance. Clarke's skin was freezing cold. ''You're gonna be alright, Clarke, I've got you.'' Lexa took off her jacket and brought Clarke as close to her as possible to wrap her with her jacket. She could only hold her close while waiting for the ambulance to come.

Lexa threw a glance at Clarke's mother. ''How could she even find you...'' Lexa's sorry voice murmured, ''…when I couldn't.''

* * *

Lexa was sitting on a chair beside Clarke's bed, waiting for her to wake up. The ambulance had brought the young mother to the hospital. Clarke had to end up there eventually.

Lexa didn't sleep at all. She kept asking herself how this could happen. She always did everything possible to protect Clarke, yet Abigail Kane had tricked her and hurt Clarke.

Clarke's hand moved in her own and Lexa's heart missed a beat. Clarke was waking up.

Lexa let her wife slowly wake up. Clarke's blue eyes filled Lexa's world with warmth and happiness. Their eyes met and Lexa smiled.

''Lexa...'' Clarke murmured.

''Are you okay sweetheart ?''

Clarke smiled. Lexa calling her 'sweetheart' was knew, but she loved it. She nodded.

''I guess you had to go to the hospital, simple treatments weren't enough... I'm sorry.'' Lexa apologized. ''I've figured... we should have a house, with a nice garden, and a nice room for you to make great art, and do everything you want instead of –''

''Lexa.'' Clarke had just woken up and Lexa's words were confusing her. ''Why are you telling me this ?''

Lexa sighed. She was desperate for Clarke to be safe and happy. Clarke pulled her hand to invite her on the bed and Lexa lay down beside her.

''You punched a vending machine for an apple, hm ?'' Lexa said, entwining her fingers with Clarke's.

''It ate my credit card,'' Clake groaned.

Lexa burst into laughter. ''Let me guess, you were told to use your card and you used your credit card instead of your employee card.''

''Employee card ?'' Clarke pouted. She remembered employees had a special card on which to put some money and buy food at their workplace. ''Oh.'' She never had one because when she was offered one she refused : she didn't have any bank account from which to transfer money onto her employee card.

They stayed quiet for a little while. Lexa turned on her side and laid her forehead against Clarke's cheek.

''In a couple days we're leaving for the weekend, just the three of us. And when we come back, we'll talk about that house and what you really want to do with your life. It's time for some change, don't you think ?''

Clarke thought about how her life with Lexa and Aden could be. A house. A garden. A peaceful life with the ones she loved. Maybe some change would be good for them. Many things were to change after the wedding ceremony, moving from apartment to house, maybe finding this girl who saved her life last night, having the opportunity to have the job she always wanted... but above all that, one thing shall never change.

''I love you,'' she told Lexa, ''and that will never change.''

Lexa wrapped Clarke in her arms with caution. She loved her so much it hurt, but it was the best pain she could ever feel.


	37. Chapter 37

Lexa stopped the car. Clarke and Aden were both asleep. Lexa smiled and snapped a picture of them both, Clarke sleeping on the seat beside her, Aden sleeping in his baby seat at the back. She put her phone back in her pocket and approached Clarke's face with her own.

''Clarke,'' she whispered, laying her lips on her wife's cheek.

Clarke frowned and groaned, getting a laugh from Lexa. She opened her eyes, blinking because of the sunray that was coming inside the car through the glass. She turned her head to see Lexa's big bright amused green eyes looking at her.

''Are you okay ?'' Lexa asked, still concerned despite her laugh.

Clarke nodded and turned around to check on her son. He was sleeping, a tiny pout on his face. Clarke smiled. ''I'm gonna get him.''

Lexa let her get Aden out of the car. She waited for her a few steps away from the vehicle, keys in hand. Clarke, carrying Aden in her arms, smiled brightly when she saw the wooden house, surrounded by trees.

''It's... cute,'' she said.

Lexa walked to the door and unlocked it. ''you coming ?''

''Our bags are still in the car. We're gonna need Aden's stuff, I think a change of diaper would be nice.''

''I'll go get them in five, come.''

Clarke hesitated, then followed Lexa into the house.

Wooden walls, wooden furnitures, a chimney to burn some old wood, this house was pretty well placed in the middle of a natural park.

''Do you like it ?'' Lexa asked, her eyes showing nervousness under her usual mask of confidence.

''Why wouldn't I like it ? It's great !'' she answered cheerfully, waking a sleepy Aden up in her arms.

''I wasn't sure it was your kind of thing...'' Lexa added, uncertain.

'' 'you kidding ? When I was living in the streets I was thinking a lot about getting a wooden cabin in the woods to get away from town and its danger.''

Lexa looked suspiciously at her, as if it was hard to believe that she had guessed the perfect place to take Clarke to.

Clarke took Aden's hand out of her lips to answer, but the little boy had decided otherwise. She moved her head aside to answer ''I'm not kidding, I thought about it for a very long time, but I never had the money.''

She pretended to eat her son's hand to make him stop playing with her face. He chuckled and Clarke smiled before she looked back at Lexa. She noticed the uncomfortable smile on the brunette's face. Clarke knew Lexa didn't know what to say when money was involved because they used to fight a lot about it.

''It's okay, Lexa, you don't need to feel sorry for me. If I'd had the money to leave town I would've never ended up with you.''

Lexa smiled and nodded. But she had something else to say and hoped Clarke wouldn't be mad about it. ''Talking about money... I got your credit card back but decided to shut down your account and open another one... something much... bigger. Now half of my own money is on yours. So,'' she started talking faster for Clarke to listen to her justification before reacting, ''when I'm away or too busy with work, you can do whatever you want, you can even come here, I don't mind, but at least you'll never run out of money. I mean, we're married, it's normal that we share.''

Clarke stared at her wife, feelings fighting inside her heart, making it beat faster. For a second, when Lexa told her about the new account, she felt angry. But then she realized that she had no reason to be. They were married, living together, raising a child. Lexa had enough money for a family of ten thousands people, so there was nothing wrong with Lexa sharing. Clarke never felt well when she was given money, because she didn't want to depend on someone, but when everyone will know about her being married to Lexa, everyone will think she got married for money, so why refuse it anyway ? She didn't need that much, but at least she'll know she had enough money for Aden to be fine. No matter what he needed : treatments, food, clothes, school, he'll have. She didn't need to worry about it anymore.

''Thank you,'' she said, surprising Lexa.

The brunette smiled, first shyly, then wildly, and love filled her eyes. Seeing it, Clarke approached with a giggling Aden in her arms and pulled Lexa into a kiss. Aden, never missing an occasion to tourment his new official mother, slapped Lexa's cheek with his small but daily-growing hand.

Breaking the kiss, Lexa threw her favorite death glare to Aden who laughed at her. Clarke couldn't help but laugh too.

Lexa leaned to look closely into her son's eyes and declared ''You keep me from kissing your mom, but I'm gonna do her while you sleep.''

''Lexa !'' Clarke called out.

''He's ten months old, he doesn't even understand what I say,'' she defended herself.

Aden babbled, spluttering at Lexa's face. Clarke laughed out loud and kissed her son on the top of his head. ''Well done, kid, don't let her mock you.''

''He's the one mocking me,'' Lexa complained.

''You know what ? You two have the perfect father/son relationship, always challenging each other and fighting for the mother's attention.''

Lexa pouted and turned around, her chin up. ''I'm gonna get our stuff from the car. You two have a nice chat about how good I look.''

Clarke laughed and Lexa left the house. She lied down on the sofa and laid Aden on her chest. They both felt very comfortable in this house.

Lexa came back and gave Clarke Aden's bag for her to change his diaper and clothes. She installed Aden's bed upstairs and went into the kitchen. She started preparing lunch while Clarke took care of Aden.

Clarke feeded Aden and let him play while Lexa was busy in the kitchen. She put him to bed for his afternoon nap once Lexa was done cooking. The latter joined her in the living room with two plates of pastas and a huge amount of bolognese on it.

''Good old pastas huh ?'' Clarke pointed out.

''At least I don't risk ruining them,'' she answered jokingly, laying the plates on the wooden table.

Clarke briefly touched the wood with a couple fingers. ''Reassure me, the toilets here aren't made of woods, right ?''

Lexa laughed. ''No, no they aren't, don't worry.''

Clarke took a huge fork of pastas and threw it into her mouth. She swallowed it in less than ten seconds and Lexa looked at her with wide surprised eyes.

''You're gonna throw up if you eat that fast,'' she stated.

But Clarke didn't seem to mind. ''I'm hungry and it's so damn good !'' She kept going and Lexa took the plate away to keep her from choking. Clarke groaned and Lexa cleared the table.

''You should take your meds and a nap now,'' the brunette said when she got back.

Clarke pouted. ''I wasn't done eating.''

Lexa sat down beside her to wipe her mouth from the red sauce.

''Don't babysit me,'' Clarke complained, pushing her arm away.

''Clarke,'' Lexa gently said, laying a hand on the blonde's knee, ''you know you have to take it easy.''

''I'm not dead sick, Lexa !'' Clarke yelled, then remembered Aden was sleeping upstairs and calmed down. She put her head in her hands, feeling the heavy feeling of exhaustion.

Lexa brushed Clarke's hair away from her face. ''You're not gonna be sick for much longer if you follow the doctor's orders.''

Clarke stood up and took the stairs. ''Meds and nap, huh.'' She looked for her room and found another square of wooden walls. She looked through the window and saw the unexpected : a beach was separating the house from a huge lake.

A shadow appeared behind Clarke. ''I had it built a while after Costia's death, when my sisters threw me back on track. I wanted a peaceful place to come to when I'd get tired of town, and, well, society I guess. But truth is, I never came here, because even though I wanted to rest somewhere calm and nice, I didn't want to be hurt by the fact that I was alone. I'd rather bury myself into work.''

Clarke turned around to face her. ''You're not alone anymore.'' She sat down on the bed and Lexa joined her with the bag of meds. She handed her some of them with a bottle of water and Clarke swallowed them all. Lexa took the last one out of the bag, the picture of a needle on the long but small box.

''Before I give you this one, I need to tell you... after you left to go upstairs, one of my lawyers called me. Your mother is out of the hospital and was taken by the police to the station.''

Clarke didn't know what she should think about it. Her mother could be free or in jail that it wouldn't change how she felt about her. She didn't want to see her ever again.

''I can't believe she drugged and followed me all this time.''

Lexa prepared the injection like the nurse had showed her. ''No matter what happens with her, she's never going back to her hospital, it's mine now.''

Clarke's heart missed a beat as she realized... ''You bought Arkadia Hospital ?''

''We were already partners, they needed money, so I guess it's better now that it's part of my business.''

She raised the needle, showing Clarke she was ready. Clarke frowned and stood up to take her pants off. She got back on the bed, lying on her back, under Lexa's focussed eyes.

''Ready ?'' the brunette asked.

''Yeah, hormones, great. Go ahead.''

Lexa injected the liquid into Clarke's thigh after wiping her skin with some disinfectant. She put the needle back into its box for it to not harm anyone.

''You won't have needles for long,'' Lexa commented, seeing Clarke watching the ceiling.

''I know,'' the blonde whispered. She was starting to fall asleep from her previous meds and was waiting for her stressful thoughts to go away for a while. ''Stay with me ?''

Lexa smiled and laid on her side beside her. She took her wife's cold hand in her own, moving her thumb slowly over the soft skin.

''I stay until you fall asleep, then I'm gonna have to get back downstairs and check a file. I can't fully run away from work, unfortunately.''

Clarke closed her eyes, slightly turning her head on her side for it to be closer to Lexa's.

''It's okay,'' she said, her voice's tone lowering as she spoke, ''you're here for me.''

Lexa smiled, watching Clarke's breathing slowing down as she fell asleep. ''Always,'' she whispered, keeping herself from kissing her.

She had to let her sleep. She stayed a few more minutes and left the room. The house was calm. She could only hear the wooden stairs crack under her feet, until she heard Aden's cries.

She climbed the few stairs that separated her from Aden and burst into the room. She took him in her arms. He didn't seem to have trouble breathing. He wasn't awake because of an asthma attack. But he was crying strongly, and Lexa assumed he was having a nightmare. She brought him close, his head on her shoulder, and reassured him with kind words and comforting patterns drawn on his back with her hand.

He calmed down, slowly, and Lexa could feel his breath steadying on her neck as he was comforted by her arms. She checked on Clarke before going back downstairs. The latter was still sleeping, the meds were really effective.

Lexa sat down on the couch, finding her laptop where she had left it right beside her. She tried to lay back and keep Aden in her arms while she worked on her laptop. The little boy fell asleep and Lexa's heart melted at feeling this baby sleeping against her.

* * *

Clarke woke up blinded by the darkness of the room. Only the dim light of the moon coming from the other side of the window could help her find her way back to the door. She went downstairs, the living room being as dark as the bedroom, and found her son peacefully lying on Lexa's chest. They were both asleep. Clarke smiled and sat on the border of the sofa, getting it to move slightly and a light illuminated the two others. It was Lexa's computer, laying beside the brunette.

Clarke took it to put it on the table. She couldn't help but look at the screen when she thought she'd just seen something familiar. Indeed, a few words were written in french, but they didn't quite form a proper sentence. Clarke clicked on google's sign and google translate's page was open. Clarke looked back at Lexa. Was the CEO trying to learn french behind Clarke's back ?

Clarke joined her family on the couch and gently shook Lexa's shoulder to wake her up. The brunette jumped, apparently no way to wake her up would have been gentle enough.

''It's okay, it's me,'' Clarke whispered.

''Oh, Clarke, you're awake,'' Lexa said, getting back to reality. She looked around, surprised by the darkness of the room.

''Is it late ?''

''Almost nine. I think we were all very tired.''

Lexa nodded and looked down at Aden. ''I think it might be time for dinner, I'm surprised he didn't wake up for it sooner.''

Clarke checked her son's vitals as the anxious mother she was and stood up to go prepare his meal. ''I'm gonna get his food, wake him up.''

Lexa sat up and Aden stirred. She thought of turning the light on but remembered there was no light in this room : the chimney was here for a reason. She stood up and looked for Aden's baby carpet to lay him on while she took care of the chimney. They had had to bring a lot of baby stuff, the biggest being the baby bed.

When Clarke came back with Aden's small plate full of smashed vegetables, the baby boy was sucking and chewing some plastic toy. His cheeks were red from all the chewing and the pain his teeth trying to push out of the gum were creating.

She sat at the table, her son on her lap and Lexa watched her feed Aden once she was done with the chimney.

Clarke thought Aden would want to play a bit before going to sleep but he almost fell asleep on his carpet, so Clarke put him to bed.

She went back to the living room and sat on the sofa beside Lexa.

''I'm not really hungry,'' she told the brunette.

''Me neither.''

Clarke slid closer to her and wrapped Lexa's waist with an arm. She laid her head on the brunette's shoulder to watch the fire. They stayed quiet for a couple of minutes before Clarke said ''I've seen you were trying to learn french.''

Lexa was glad Clarke couldn't see her face right now because her eyes looked totally panicked for a few seconds. ''I just – I don't want you to come back at work just for me – and there are so many languages I need to understand – I could never get french – but I'm trying to because –''

''Lexa, breathe,'' Clarke laughed, lifting her head up to look at Lexa's slightly reddened face. ''If you want to learn french, just ask. I've heard I was a good teacher.''

Lexa smiled, looking down at the thought of having Clarke as her teacher. A very personal french teacher. She didn't say anything about it, feeling awkward. Clarke was the only person who could make her feel so vulnerable.

''Maybe you could teach me australian too,'' she joked, knowing the fact that mocking Clarke was the best way to regain her composure.

Clarke stared at her with a grin, and she chose to let her accent out to answer ''You're the one who needs to be taught english, American girl.''

They chuckled and their laughter faded into silence. They stayed an hour, in each other's arms, watching the fire. It just felt right. They didn't need to think. They already had the warmth of both each other and the flames. They felt at peace, here, far away from town. Far from concerns and troubles.

Clarke could stay like this forever, but Lexa's head moved slightly and her chin brushed Clarke's forehead. The latter felt the urge to feel the soft skin she knew Lexa had. She rose her head up and her lips encountered the corner of Lexa's lips. Neither Clarke nor Lexa could tell who pulled the other, they only focussed on the kiss they were sharing, lips catching each others, and Clarke soon found herself sitting on Lexa's lap.

Clarke wrapped Lexa's neck with her hands, bringing her closer. Lexa wasn't wearing any lipstick, there was only the natural softness of her lips and a fresh taste Clarke could never define. Even though Lexa hadn't brushed her teeth in the last hours, her mouth was still fresh and it always surprised Clarke. The latter moved her head to change the angle but Lexa pushed her head back to interrupt the kiss.

''Clarke... there's a lot we need to talk about... what's gonna happen with your mother, the girl who saved you, the house, what you wanna do... maybe it –''

''Maybe we should talk about it when we get back and enjoy our break,'' Clarke finished the sentence.

Lexa looked into Clarke's eyes and saw confidence and desire. The shades of lust drowning the blue of Clarke's eyes was enough to convince her. She suddenly grabbed Clarke's waist and threw her on the sofa, placing herself above her. She stole a kiss from her before pulling her head away to look at Clarke's face. Once more.

''Are you sure you're alright ?'' she asked, worried.

Clarke smiled and her hand grabbed Lexa's shirt to pull her back down. ''I feel good. But I could feel even better,'' she smirked, and caught her wife's lips. This time, Lexa didn't interrupt. She let Lexa's hands help the flames into warming her up, and she found out that she had never been this warm before. Any fire wouldn't be as hot as Lexa's body against hers.


	38. Chapter 38

**Hey,**

 **I hope you liked last chapter and that you'll like this one too. It's time to learn about the girl !**

 **We're getting closer and closer to the end, but there are still a few chapters left.**

 **Enjoy ! :)**

* * *

Clarke put Aden's inhalor back under the seat of the stroller. They had been in the park for half an hour now, and Aden just had an asthma attack. This morning, she had been skeptical on taking Aden to the park with her but she thought it would be good for him to go out too. He couldn't walk yet, but Clarke hoped she could take him more often to the park and the playground once he could.

She looked around again. It was the second park she was crossing today. She was hoping to find her. The girl that saved her. She was hoping to find her today. She had a lot to tell her. And while she was walking peacefully near a bunch of bushes, she saw the expected.

She knew this place. She knew the whole park. How many nights had she spent in it ? She knew the best places to hide for safety. And the little hole on the side of the bush permitted to check the outside from the inside. But when you knew the hole was there, you also knew you could check the inside from the outside. And when Clarke looked, a small white face appeared. Clarke walked around the bushes to find the entrance of the small hidden square of grass. She got down on her knees and walked in. The girl had heard her and was sitting, a knife in her hand pointed at Clarke.

''Hey, it's just me,'' Clarke said, and the girl let her hand fall down. ''Can I talk to you ? My son's in a stroller outside of the bushes, do you mind coming out ?''

The girl hesitated but ended up nodding. She followed Clarke outside of the bush and they both sat on the grass. Clarke looked at a wondering Aden and she turned the stroller toward the girl.

''This is Aden. He's gonna be one in less than two months.''

The girl looked at him more and more closely and, when Aden smiled at her, her eyes brightened. His small blue eyes always told a billion stories. The girl smiled too, enchanted. The little boy was barely one year old and he was already charming people. A couple days ago, Clarke told Lexa ''Maybe in ten years he's gonna receive his Hogwarts letter,'' and the baby boy cried, making Lexa answer ''He thinks your jokes are terrible.''

The bond between the couple and the baby was very strong, and Clarke was seeing something similar in the look that the boy and the girl were sharing. Aden never liked strangers much, yet he was smiling to this one.

''You said you wanted to talk,'' the girl said, ending the eye contact with the smiling baby.

''Yes,'' Clarke answered, a soft smile on her lips, ''I wanted to thank you for saving me the other day. You seem young, but you're very brave.''

''I'm nine, I'm not a baby like him,'' she threw a glance toward Aden who was still smiling, clearly not understanding what was being said.

 _Nine_ , Clarke tought. ''I was eighteen when I left home. It wasn't a good place for me. I could stay in the country for a litte while, working in farms in exchange for a room, but it didn't last, and eventually I found myself here, on the other side of the country.''

The girl frowned, probably wondering why Clarke was telling her this. The young mother added quickly ''I was living in the streets, just like you are now. I could hardly get a job at first, even though I was eighteen, because I was undocumented. But I managed to get a job at Woods Enterprises and I met Lexa. She wanted to help me, but I wouldn't let her. I was scared.''

Clarke heard groaning from the girl's belly and remembered the latter was probably hungry. She looked under the stroller and took a few things out of its basket.

''You must be hungry,'' she said, handing her some crisps and cookies.

The girl looked at the food with suspicion, but she was too hungry to refuse. She grabbed everything and opened the bag of crisps. While eating, the girl threw a glance over Aden, and Clarke remembered the important part of her story.

''I bought a car when my belly started growing. I was pregnant at twenty-one without a home. I gave birth to him in my old car, but I lost my job and couldn't get him what he needed. He got sick, needed meds and... well, he would've died if Lexa hadn't helped.''

The girl's eyes widened in surprise. ''You slept outside with him ?''

Clarke nodded. ''I wasn't doing well either. I would be dead too without Lexa.''

The girl looked down. She put the crisps away. ''What are you trying to tell,'' she asked awkwardly, ''that I should go home ? I can't. I left because I didn't feel well.''

Clarke stared at this very young face. Why would a nine-year-old girl leave home to sleep in parks ?

''What I'm trying to tell you is... let us help. I was in a very messed up situation and yet I'm fine now. No matter how complicated your situation is, we can help. And if you don't want me to help in that way well... let me at least give you a place to sleep for the night.''

The girl pouted in wonder. Should she trust Clarke ? She was cold, and dirty, and hungry, and Clarke had brought her food.

''By the way,'' Clarke added, ''I'm Clarke, and I told you about Lexa, my wife.''

The girl's face enlightened. ''You're married with Lexa Woods ? The woman from the newspaper ?''

Clarke laughed. ''Yes, yes I am. Well, not everyone knows yet, so keep it to yourself, alright ? Soon, the newspapers will know, but not today.''

The girl nodded and lost herself in her thoughts. Clarke didn't add anything, giving her time to think. Eventually, the girl said ''I'm Madi.''

''Nice to meet you, Madi,'' Clarke said, holding a hand to the girl.

Madi rose her own hand to shake Clarke's, happy to do the adults' gesture. When their hands separated, a disappointed look appeared on Madi's face.

''I don't think I could come with you,'' she said, ''I don't think I have a right to. I don't want my mother to find me. She hurt me and she wouldn't stop.''

Clarke's smile disappeared. Hurt ? Who on Earth would hurt such a lovely little girl ?

''Madi...'' she carefully took her hand, looking at her in the eyes to ask her permission, ''you shouldn't be alone outside. If your mother did you wrong, it can be investigated and you can be placed in a better family. Lexa can help you with that, she has good lawyers.''

Their hands separated and disappointment appeared on Madi's face.

''That's what I'm scared of... I had a friend in foster care and her family was mean.''

Clarke looked at her, knowing how it felt to be scared to accept other people's help. She put the food back under the stroller and stood up. ''Well, you can at least come home for a couple of nights. You'll be safe and warm. And you could talk to Lexa, too. She really could help you.''

Madi hesitated. She could stay outside, be cold, hungry, scared, or she could enjoy having a roof over her head, having food to eat, maybe even take a shower. She stood up. This woman and her son could never be as bad as her mother.

They went back to Clarke's car. Madi decided to sit in the back with Aden.

They drove for twenty minutes. There were some signs on the side of the road saying the beach was close. They entered a private property. A long road with a dozen big houses on each side of it.

''We moved in a couple days ago. We wanted a more peaceful, bigger place,'' Clarke explained, parking on the driveway of a big white house with solar panels on top of it. ''Come on in.''

Clarke walked into the house with Aden in her arms.

The house was filled with daylight. The first thing that Madi noticed when she entered was the straight white stairs going up to the second floor.

Clarke took her shoes off. Aden was sucking his thumb, his head on his mother's shoulder. Madi followed Clarke, but had to sit down to take her mudsoaked shoes off. Clarke found out the little girl didn't have socks. She didn't ask why. Madi was probably ashamed, Clarke knew well enough to keep her questions to herself.

''Come on,'' she told her, ''I'll show you to the bathroom.''

She climbed the steps, the girl behind her. At the top of them, Clarke stopped. There were two doors on the left side of the corridor : one in front of the other.

''The one on our side hides stairs. They go up to our room, Lexa and I. The one in front of it is Aden's. It's the closest to our room so we can get to him faster when he has an asthma attack.''

She turned to the right and walked along the corridor. There were two doors, with enough space in between. Clarke went to the last door. She opened it and a large room with a big size bed appeared. Madi's eyes widened in amazement. There was even a white desk against the wall, with a window in front of the chair. Clarke walked up to another door in the corner of the room and opened it, inviting Madi in.

''This would be your room with its own bathroom. You've got a shower, a sink and toilets. I'm gonna get you some clothes. I have short pants, they should do the job. You have what's necessary to shower in the bathroom. Make yourself at home.''

Clarke left the girl alone. She stopped by Aden's room to lay him in his bed. He was tired. She turned on the baby monitor and took hers, clapping it on her belt. She went into her room to take some clothes. She was back in the corridor when she heard a gasp. She hurried into Madi's room.

The girl was in the bathroom, and she hastily covered her naked body with a towel when Clarke entered. But the young mother saw the blood.

''What's wrong ?'' Clarke asked, carefully pushing Madi back onto the chair beside the shower. Madi was holding on to the towel, unwilling to show Clarke her injuries. ''Can I see ? I'm sure I can help you.''

Madi looked down and let go of the towel. Clarke took off part of the towel to uncover the girl's abdomen. Clarke contained a gasp. There was a long bleeding wound going from under the right breast to the right side of the belly button.

''I just wanted to clean it,'' Madi sobbed, ''but it started bleeding again.''

Clarke took the band aid pack out from the furniture above the sink. She was glad she had put one in each bathroom. ''Since when do you have this ?'' she asked, kneeling in front of the chair. She took the antiseptic spray and started wiping the blood around the wound.

''I got it before I left,'' Madi answered, ''Mom got mad and she woke me up in the middle of the night. She was mad I didn't make her dinner, but I wasn't sure she would come home that night. She was drunk and I was scared she would kill me, so I left and I could never come back. I'm afraid she will find me.''

Clarke focussed on the wound. She didn't have any words for Madi right now. She was surprised the wound wasn't already infected, but maybe Madi had tried to clean it after she ran away. And then it tried to heal for weeks... _Wait._

''Madi, for how long have you been outside ?''

''I think... I think it's been like three months,'' the young girl answered.

Clarke kept her focus on the wound to keep herself from reacting in shock. She stopped the bleeding and covered the wound but the only way for it to be fully closed would be to stitch it, and Clarke didn't have any stitches. Furthermore, she wasn't a doctor. She knew some stuff, but Madi would be better with an actual doctor.

"Did you have time to clean up ?'' she asked.

"I didn't have time to clean my hair before my stomach bled,'' Madi answered.

Clarke smiled at the words used. ''Your stomach is fine. It wasn't cut,'' she explained. She looked at the long brown, dirty hair and added "How about I clean your hair in the sink and then we go make ourselves something to eat in the kitchen ?''

Madi nodded, and fifteen minutes later, she was clean, wearing new clothes which were a little too big for her. Sitting at the kitchen counter, she was waiting for Clarke to finish making crêpes.

''Where is Aden ?'' she asked.

''He's napping. Lexa should be home in three hours. If you want to sleep a bit after eating, you know where your bed is.''

Madi nodded, a light smile stretching her lips, but Clarke couldn't see it as she was facing the stove. She didn't regret coming here now. Clarke was nice. This place was nice. And she couldn't wait to go lay down in the big bed waiting for her in _her_ room.

When Clarke was done, she laid two plates on the counter and sat in front of Madi. They ate in silence, Madi enjoying the taste of the food, and Clarke appreciating seeing this young girl smiling.

Once Madi was done eating, she thanked Clarke and went into her room for a nap. Maybe Clarke and Lexa could help her after all. Madi seemed clever. But Clarke still needed to check her story before trusting the girl's words. She had herself hidden the truth from Lexa for months, and she was surprised Madi had told her about her mother that fast. But people were all different. Maybe Madi had said the whole truth about her mother.

For now, Clarke could only wait for Lexa to come home from work to find out what to do with Madi. Whether the latter was saying the truth or not, she couldn't stay in the streets. No one should be left alone outside with nothing to survive.

* * *

Lexa laid her keys on the living room's table. She noticed a blonde woman lying on the couch in front of a tv showing some comedy movie. She walked around the sofa to find out Clarke had fallen asleep. She sat on the edge of it and slipped a hand into her wife's hair. Clarke stretched her arm, probably thinking she was going to find Lexa lying beside her and be able to slip herself into the brunette's arms.

Lexa took the empty hand in her own and brought it to her lips. ''Wakey wakey,'' she murmured.

Clarke pouted in her sleep. Lexa put her hand down and Clarke opened one eye, discovering Lexa sitting next to her.

''Hey,'' she only managed to say.

''Hey,'' Lexa smiled, looking into the deep blue of her wife's sleepy eyes.

Clarke lifted herself in a sitting position to face Lexa, but she was still sleepy, so she laid her head on her wife's shoulder.

''I found her,'' she declared, ''the girl. She's named Madi. She's nine. She's upstairs in the third bedroom. She has a large cut on the abdomen, she says her mother did it to her.''

Lexa put her arms around her. The day had been long. She really needed to hug Clarke and feel alright again. Feel like reality wasn't a nightmare anymore. Things had gone well. Clarke raised her head.

''I should go check on Aden,'' she said.

Lexa nodded and replied ''I'm gonna go meet Madi.''

They stood up and walked upstairs together before separating at the top of them.

Lexa knocked on the door before coming into the bedroom. No reply. She entered to find Madi asleep in the bed, rolled up into the blanket. The girl's face was as pale as Clarke's, but her hair was dark. She sat on the bed and laid a gentle hand on Madi's shoulder.

The girl jumped, and Lexa had to grab her to keep her from falling off of the bed.

''Hey, you're okay, it's Lexa,'' she softly said, and the girl remembered where she was.

Madi sat down on the bed and looked closely at Lexa. She looked so confused and surprised it was like she had seen a ghost. She frowned and pouted. The woman was real. ''I didn't think you'd actually come,'' she told Lexa, ''you're the woman from the newspaper.''

Lexa laughed. This pouting girl reminded her of Clarke. ''I'm Lexa Woods, the one and only,'' she winked, and got back to seriousness, ''did Clarke tell you we're married ? We're gonna have a huge ceremony with an after party next weekend. After that, everyone will know.''

Madi nodded. Her left hand grabbed her right sleeve to play with it and calm down her anxiety.

''She said you could help, but I don't think you can. You already let me sleep in your house,'' Madi stated, looking down at the blanket.

''I'm pretty sure I can help you, but you have to tell me what happened first.''

Lexa noticed Madi's increasing anxiety. She laid a hand on the girl's two shaking hands and said "When you're in trouble and you can't fix the situation yourself, the best solution is to trust someone.''

And Lexa was right. Madi hesitated for a while, but came to acknowledge the fact that there was no other way of getting out of trouble. She had never thought of the future, but now that she had seen the Woods' house, she knew she wanted to live in some place like this one later, and she wouldn't be able to do so if she stayed alone in the streets.

''It's bad,'' she finally said, still unable to look up at Lexa. ''It's really bad.''

Lexa sat closer to her and took her in her arms. Madi stiffened at first, but Lexa wasn't hurting her, so she relaxed.

''Clarke and I have both been through terrible things. No matter what you tell me, we can deal with it.''

Madi lifted her chin to look into Lexa's eyes, and the latter noticed how green the girl's eyes were. Their eyes had a similar color shade. But Madi's eyes seemed brighter because of the tears that had appeared.

''Can you promise I'll be safe ?'' she asked Lexa, her lips trembling in extreme terror.

Lexa swallowed hard. Something terrible had happened to this girl and the CEO was afraid of finding out what. She made sure her voice would be steady before answering.

''I promise you're gonna be safe. We will keep you safe.''

Madi grabbed the bottom of Lexa's shirt and started playing with it like she had done with her own.

''I didn't tell Clarke the whole truth. My mom wasn't nice to me,'' Madi started explaining with a shaky voice, ''she drank a lot and I saw her took pills too. One day she stabbed me with a knife,'' she grabbed her own shirt with one nervous hand and lifted it, showing the band-aids Clarke had put on her abdomen, ''I got scared so I tried to take the knife off, it was a small knife, but she took it out and she -''

Tears fell down and Lexa had to bring the girl closer to keep her from falling off of the bed. She was shaking, sobbing, and Lexa didn't know if a hug would be enough to reassure her.

''She - she,'' Madi tried saying, and Lexa started combing her hair to comfort her, ''she cut her throat.''

Madi cried even louder, hiding her face in Lexa's neck while the latter was trying to find her breath again. There was no way this girl was lying. Madi had seen her mother kill herself after she was stabbed ? _What kind of mother would do that to her own kid ?_ Lexa was shocked, but she showed nothing of it when she took the girl's chin between her fingers to make her look at her.

''We can fix this. I only need to know where you lived. The police will need to know that to find out if your mother is still there, but do not worry, my lawyers won't let the police take you away.''

Madi nodded and Lexa kept her in her arms until she fell asleep. They would deal with it tomorrow. They both needed to process what they had discovered today : Madi a family, and Lexa the terrifying story of a little girl.

She left Madi sleep in her bed, and went back downstairs. Aden was playing on his carpet while Clarke was making dinner in the kitchen. She could see Clarke from the living room through the squared hole in the wall joining both rooms.

''Did she tell you anything ?'' Clarke asked as soon as Lexa came in.

Lexa looked into Clarke's blue eyes and her serious mask fell. Her eyes covered with tears, her heart hardly beating in her chest. Her story, Clarke's story, that girl's story... there was so much pain in this world, sometimes it was too much to bear.

''Lexa ?''

The CEO couldn't answer. She swallowed hard, keeping her chin up even though she was about to cry. Clarke didn't wait any longer and pulled her in her arms.

''We're okay, Lexa,'' Clarke murmured in her wife's ear, ''and she will be too.''

As an answer, Lexa's arms wrapped around Clarke's waist, holding onto to her.

''I...'' Lexa whispered. She exhaled to steady her breath and make herself able to finish her sentence. ''I love you, remember that.''

''Lexa...''

''No, it's important. Life can get so messed up so fast, you need to know you're the most important person in my life !''

Clarke cupped Lexa's face with her hands in an attempt to bring her wife back to her senses.

''I know that, you don't need to say it,'' she reassured her, ''I know, Lexa, I know...''

She pulled her against her, holding her close. She grabbed one of Lexa's shaky hands.

''We're alright. But right now I need you to watch over Aden while I finish cooking. He needs us.''

Lexa nodded and left the blonde's arms to walk out of the room, seemingly disappointed.

''Hey, Lexa," Clarke stopped her. ''I'll put Aden to bed after dinner, then we'll be free to go curl up in bed. I need you in my arms as much as you do.''

Lexa didn't turn to face Clarke again, but she slightly nodded, which was enough for Clarke. Their life was complicated, but they always found solutions.

* * *

 **Next chapter will take off a bit after the end of this one, the same evening after dinner.**

 **See you soon :)**


	39. Chapter 39

**Hey,**

 **I wrote this chapter faster than I thought. I like this one and I hope you do too ! Don't hesitate to tell me what you think.**

 **I'll try to get the next chapter out next week. Enjoy ! :)**

* * *

Clarke's hands reached for the last button, opening Lexa's shirt. Her lips left Lexa's jaw to meet her neck. She was sitting onto the brunette's lap. Lexa took Clarke's hand in hers and their fingers melted together. The room was dark. Only the moonlight coming through the window would let them see each other.

Lexa lowered her head. She couldn't help but be shaken about Madi's story. It was the 'too much' story, the one that made Lexa realize that the world never forgave. Who could ? Life was cruel to many people and Lexa couldn't help them all. But she wished she could do more.

''Clarke...'' she whispered, and the blonde pulled her head back from her neck.

Lexa saw the concern in her wife's eyes and tried to explain her feelings, something that had always been hard for her. ''Bad things keep happening... there is no way out...''

''What ?'' Clarke gently cupped Lexa's face with her hands. ''There are always bad things happening here and there, we can't solve every issue. Giving up isn't the way. I know that. We must enjoy the best things because they are precious.''

Lexa laid a hand on Clarke's left hand still on her cheek. She knew Clarke was right. What she didn't understand was why the emptiness in her heart wasn't leaving even though she was laying in bed with the woman she loved.

''I feel hopeless,'' she said, ''and I want this feeling to go away. I don't understand how a little girl's story could make me feel this way... she -''

''Reminds you of yourself,'' Clarke cut her off.

Lexa looked at her in disbelief. How so ? She was different from this girl. They looked alike a little bit but only from the physical point of view.

Clarke kissed the corner of her mouth, slowly, her breath refreshing Lexa's skin, and she pulled away to explain. ''You felt abandoned by your parents too after Costia died. You felt betrayed by your mother and you left her. Your regrets are taking your hope away. Madi... she can still be helped. Everyone who needs help can be helped. But only if you keep believing it's possible. Only if you keep helping people.''

Lexa looked into Clarke's eyes for a few seconds, admiring how strong her wife was, until her stare dropped. ''I'm frightened,'' she said, a water wall forming itself on her eyes, ''I shouldn't say it, but I'm terrified. I closed my eyes for five minutes earlier with Aden on my lap while you were making dinner and I saw both of you die. I can't always protect you. I can't help but see you both being taken away from me in a matter of seconds and I can't do anything. Madi... she's a proof those things can happen. Terrible things can happen in the best world ever.''

Clarke watched Lexa as she spoke, and knew she could never reassure her with words. Instead, she slipped a hand into the brunette's neck and brought her against her. Her free hand met Lexa's back's skin.

''We're all gonna die someday love,'' she whispered, ''just not today.'' She lowered her head until her lips touched Lexa's shoulder. She brought a hand to move the open shirt and make room for her lips on the tanned skin. Lexa closed her eyes. ''We're okay,'' Clarke whispered again against her wife's skin.

She burnt Lexa's skin with kisses, pushing the shirt each time, and planned on going on until the shirt would be off.

Lexa wrapped both of her arms around her and brought her closer, making Clarke lift her head until they were both face to face. One stare and their lips melted together. Lexa's hands slipped under Clarke's shirt, sliding over the soft, warm skin. Her hopeless heart was filling with Clarke's love. Clarke deepened the kiss and Lexa forgot about her nightmares.

Lexa was ready to pull Clarke's shirt up when they heard cracks in the stairs leading to their room. They parted and put their clothes back together to appear properly to the little girl who pushed their door open.

Clarke left the bed before Madi could see her on Lexa's lap. ''Madi ?''

It was too dark to see clearly. Madi stood on her toes and pushed up the light button. Her other hand was on her belly.

Clarke noticed the blood soaking the shirt she had given the girl.

''Oh no,'' Lexa gasped, jumping out of bed. She was ready to get Madi but Clarke stopped her.

''Lex, call Jackson, if he can't come call Dr. Henslin, he treated me at the hospital. I'm taking her back to her room.''

She took Madi's hand and they disappeared. The little girl was trying to hold her sobs, but she was too hurt to hide her pain. Lexa stood in her room for a couple of minutes, shocked by the nightmare breaking her dream with Clarke. _Something bad always happens, even in the best moments._

Her head took over and she rushed to her phone to call Jackson. He answered fast and told her he would be here soon. Reassured, Lexa left her room. She stopped by Aden's room to check on him before she joined Clarke and Madi. He was sleeping peacefully. She felt better seeing him like this. Like everything was going well for him.

When she came into Madi's room, she found her lying in bed topless. Clarke was holding a small towel against the wound and comforting Madi with words.

''Jackson is coming,'' Lexa stated, ''is there anything I can do to help ?''

''We can't do much for now. Come sit with me, Madi needs you too.''

Lexa obeyed and sat on the bed beside Clarke, slipping an arm around her waist and taking Madi's hand in her other free hand.

''It's not that deep,'' Clarke explained, ''if it was severe you wouldn't have survived this long.''

She was talking to Madi but Lexa was listening, hoping for good news.

''You need stitches though, if you want the wound to heal for good. But first it needs to be cleaned to take away the risks of infection. A doctor will be here soon. I think you're gonna have to go to the hospital for some exams, we need to make sure you're okay.''

''I'll take her tomorrow, you need to watch over Aden, his nanny called in sick this morning,'' Lexa said.

''I know, I'll stay here with Aden.''

Madi had been listening but her worry wasn't helping her focus on the two women who were taking care of her. She was tired. She closed her eyes, feeling less and less until she felt at ease.

''Hey, Madi,'' Clarke shook her gently, ''you have to stay awake for now. I'm sorry, but you bled enough, you're very thin and you didn't eat much today. You need to be awake when the doctor arrives.''

Madi opened her eyes and kept them open but Clarke and Lexa could tell how hard it was for her, so they started talking about silly stuff that could entertain her.

Jackson came and Lexa explained the situation to him downstairs before taking him to the bedroom. Madi was exhausted, so was Clarke. It was late, Aden was still sleeping. Lexa checked on him every once in a while.

Clarke stayed with Madi and Jackson while Lexa was making coffee. Jackson gave Madi strong pain killers to stitch her wound. He didn't think it was serious, but he still thought Madi should take some exams, especially a blood test.

Jackson left and Clarke sat by Madi's side again. She covered her with a blanket. She waited until Madi fell asleep and left the room to join Lexa downstairs. In the kitchen, she sat beside Lexa at the counter. A cup of coffee and a plate of pancakes was waiting for her.

''I thought you'd wanna eat something considering the night's going to be long,'' Lexa explained.

Clarke laid her head on the brunette's shoulder for a few seconds.

''Thank you,'' she whispered.

She attacked her coffee and food.

''You can take a nap on the couch, I'll stay up in case Madi or Aden need anything,'' Lexa told her.

Clarke didn't finish her plate. Instead, she stood up and put it in the fridge to finish it later. When she came back to the counter, she kissed Lexa on the cheek and wrapped her in her arms from behind.

''Or we could just snuggle on the couch until the kids wake up,'' Clarke offered.

Lexa stood up and turned around to face Clarke. She saw the exhaustion marks under Clarke's eyes and brought her hand to the blonde's cheek to underline them with her finger.

''You're tired. You need to sleep,'' Lexa stated.

Clarke laid a hand on Lexa's. ''You're tired too. If we fall asleep we'll be awaken by the noise, we hear the first floor better from downstairs than from our room. Come on,'' she said with a smile.

She took Lexa's hand and pulled her toward the couch. She laid herself down and opened her arms for Lexa to come. The latter snuggled against her, knowing she had lost this round.

Clarke hid her face in Lexa's neck, the smell of the brown hair comforting her.

''Just so you know, I wouldn't sleep without you,'' Clarke whispered, ''not when I know you're around.''

Lexa snuggled closer, grabbing Clarke's hand to merge it with hers. They fell asleep with the feeling of belonging to each other.

* * *

Clarke was in the living room with Aden. He was playing on the floor and she was watching him, in awe. He could walk on his hands and knees, and soon he would stand up on his feet. He tapped a butterfly toy and it sang. He laughed and tapped it again, and again, and again. Clarke didn't even mind the noise. Sometimes, she would just stare at this baby and think ' _He's my son. I have a son. He's growing up fast. Soon he's gonna be a little boy, then a boy, a teenager, and an adult, like me. I gave birth to an actual human being._ '

She knew her thoughts were silly but she loved Aden more than anything, though she loved Lexa in a similar but different way, and she was amazed by the fact that she had given birth to such a lovely baby.

The doorbell rang and Clarke frowned. Who could it be ? She wasn't expecting anyone and the neighbourhood was quiet.

''Come here honey,'' she told Aden.

Seeing his mother approaching, he lifted his arms in the air. She took him and went to the door, the bell ringing again. She opened the door and saw two officers standing in the doorway.

''You're not Miss Woods,'' the first officer said.

The other was looking at her with an intensity that made Clarke uncomfortable.

''What do you want with her ?'' Clarke asked, not willing to lose her composure in front of them.

''Wait,'' the second officer said before his colleague could talk again. He opened his small notebook, taking his time to turn the pages, and stopped. Clarke couldn't see what was in it. He showed the page to his partner. Their eyes went from the paper to Clarke several time.

Clarke's heart was running faster than ever in fear of what was going to happen. She was supposed to be safe, but considering the way these policemen were looking at her right now, she was starting to doubt it.

''You're Clarke Griffin,'' the first officer said.

''What do you wan-'' she tried to answer but was cut off by the second man grabbing her arm while the other took the baby out of her arms.

''Clarke Griffin, we're arresting you for children abduction and theft. Everything you say or do not say could be held against you in court.''

''What ? I didn't do anything !'' she yelled. Her eyes filled with terror when she saw the second officer walking away with her son. She was being cuffed and could not do anything. ''ADEN !''

The baby started crying, feeling his mother's fear. She was brought into the police car. The other policeman sat in the front with Aden. Clarke could not see her son clearly while they drove. With the wall separating her from her son, she felt trapped. Aden was sobbing and she could not do anything to calm him down. She couldn't even tell him that they were going to be okay because she couldn't even convince herself of that.

* * *

Lexa rushed into the police station, Madi on her side, hatred in her eyes. She didn't even pay attention to the woman at the reception and walked into the room where several officers and detectives were working. She stood in sight of everyone and shouted fiercely.

''WHERE IS MY WIFE ?''

Everyone turned toward her, surprised. Many jaws dropped, as they didn't expect to see Lexa Woods in the middle of the station today. Neither do they expected something else.

''Miss Woods,'' a detective said, being brave enough to come to her, ''we don't know what you're talking about. We... well, we never had any news of a wedding.''

Lexa's eyes speared the woman with the detective badge. The room was silent, waiting for Lexa to answer. She was furious. No one had ever seen her like this.

''I received a call from one of your officers who told me a woman and a child were found at my house. The woman was arrested for abduction and theft.''

Lexa was standing straight, her voice straightforward. Only the detective in front of Lexa was able to answer such animosity.

''I'm afraid I do not have the infor-''

''Free. My wife. Now,'' Lexa spitted.

If she wasn't in a police station surrounded by officers, the detective would have sworn Lexa Woods was going to kill her.

''Miss Woods,'' someone called from behind.

Lexa turned around and found an officer looking at her without a glint of fear in his eyes.

''I didn't know Clarke Griffin was your wife,'' he spoke again, ''I guess I should have believed her.''

Lexa did her best to hide her irration. She wanted to find Clarke, and also, their son.

''Bring me to my wife and son,'' she ordered.

''I didn't see a paper making Griffin and the baby yours.''

Lexa took a step forward, not impressed by the detective's few more inches.

''We are married, and Aden is my son by adoption. Tell your coworkers to check if you want. For now, I want my family back.''

The officer laughed. _He laughed._

''Your 'wife' has been accused of theft several times by a local merchant a year ago, and she has abducted two children, one been the biological child she has refused to show the father, the other being the girl we've been looking for since her mother was found dead.''

Lexa didn't react. Physically at least. She was mentally ready to kill everyone in this room. She thought fast. She felt like she had the meeting of her life and had to find a solution as fast as possible. Ideas came through and she said ''Whatever theft Clarke is accused of will be paid for, fifty times the price of the products. Our son isn't Finn's. He showed himself as a violent exboyfriend and father. He can't be around a baby. The little girl, Madi, was found alone in the streets. She is waiting for me at the reception behind you and she will leave with me.''

The man didn't seem impressed by Lexa's monologue, at the contrary of everyone else in this place.

''You think you can negotiate the law ?'' the officer hissed.

''This is not a negotiation. I own eighty per cent of this town. I have more lawyers than you have years of work in your résumé. If you think you can attack my family with the excuse of law enforcement, I'm going to think I can buy the twenty per cent left of this town and get you a plane ticket for Japan. They might teach you respect.''

A laugh was heard in the back of the room. The crowd of officers and detectives was astonished by Lexa's move. The woman detective who had first talked to Lexa stepped forward and threw a death glare at the officer. She turned toward Lexa and, very calmly, she said ''Your wife must be in lock up or in an interrogation room. Your son is probably with an officer around. I'll get you to her and look for him. This must be a huge misunderstanding.''

* * *

Walking through the station, Lexa heard cries. She recognized them and rushed into the corridors until she got to the room where the cries came from. She didn't even mind knocking. She found Aden crying into the arms of an officer sitting at his desk and took the baby off of his arms straight away.

''Hey sweetheart, you're okay, I'm here,'' she whispered in his ear as Aden hid his head in her neck. He stopped crying, smelling Lexa's familiar flagrance, and closed his eyes. He was probably tired from crying this much. ''You're okay. We're gonna get mommy, alright ?''

She soothed him with a hand on the back of his head and noticed the eyes of the officer looking at her with surprised. ''This is Aden Woods, my son,'' she looked down at Aden and up again at the officer, ''he better not be taken here ever again. Feel lucky I'm not charging this whole station for today's mascarade.''

She left the room without expecting any answer. The detective was waiting for her in the corridor.

''Bring me to my wife,'' she ordered.

The detective brought her to the interrogation room in which Clarke was held. She opened the door and Lexa rushed into the room. Clarke was asleep on the table. She had been here for four hours. Lexa had been warned late.

''Clarke,'' Lexa called, and as soon as Clarke heard her name she woke up and stood up.

Lexa caught her waist with her free arm to steady her. Clarke blinked a few times. She held onto Lexa, feeling dizzy. She had stood up too fast.

''Lexa...'' she whispered, and she noticed Aden. ''Is he okay ?'' She checked on him. He was sleeping. She couldn't help but kiss his forehead a couple times. ''Oh god...'' she wrapped both her wife and son in her arms. ''I didn't know where he was,'' she said in Lexa's ear.

''He's fine. No one will take him away from us. Not even Finn,'' Lexa reassured her.

Clarke didn't notice the detective watching them. She looked into Lexa's eyes and felt overwhelmed. _She came for me. She always does._ She brought her lips to Lexa's, but this kiss couldn't last too long.

''Madi is waiting for us at the reception. We better go before they ask her questions,'' Lexa explained.

Clarke nodded and Lexa offered to give her Aden, who she was looking at with relief. She accepted and took him against her. Aden didn't complain, he always recognized his biological mother.

They found Madi at the reception with a detective talking to her.

''Do not answer, Madi,'' Lexa told her. She turned toward the detective, a tall man with a tired but determined look on his face. ''If you want to interrogate her, it will be tomorrow with one of my lawyers.''

''She's not your daughter,'' the man answered. ''Actually, she's not even in your charge. You don't have the right to keep her with you.''

Lexa stood straighter as she answered, the fierce CEO look on her face, ''One phone call and I get a licence to keep her.''

''Your licence won't last forever Miss Woods.''

''Mrs Woods, please, I'm married, to Clarke Woods, not Griffin, whom you will not bother anymore. You want to talk to her, you come to me.'' She laid her eyes down on Madi. ''Do you want to stay with us until your eighteen ?''

Everyone, including Madi and Clarke, were surprised by this question. Clarke was the first to answer.

''Lexa, are you sure...''

''She's too old for a young couple to be willing to adopt her. I'm up for it. Not my first adoption, right ?''

Clarke stepped closer to Lexa to be able to whisper and be heard only by her. ''You really want to adopt her ? You want her to become our daughter ?''

Lexa turned around to face Clarke and her eyes softened. Clarke could notice a glint of fear. Lexa wanted her to decide too. ''Do you ?'' she asked her.

Clarke smiled. They didn't know Madi much, but they knew there was no way she was getting away after what she had already been through. ''You're asking me if I want to extend the family with you ?'' She took Lexa's hand in her own. ''Obviously,'' she added, getting a smile from Lexa who turned around to face the man again.

''Madi is staying with us. We're going to adopt her as soon as possible. If that's alright for you, Madi ?''

The little girl couldn't believe what was happening. She had been alone outside for weeks and now a nice couple was asking her if she wanted to live with them.

''I want to,'' she answered with a wide smile, ''I want to stay with you.''

After nine years with a violent mother and three months alone in the streets, this opportunity was the best thing that could have happened to this little girl.

''All settled, then,'' Lexa said. She took Madi's hand in her own, Clarke still carrying Aden. ''We'll be back tomorrow with my lawyers to talk,'' Lexa said before walking out with her family.

They walked together, Lexa holding Madi's and Clarke's hands, Aden sleeping in his mother's arms. The Woods family was bigger now, but far from being weak.


	40. Chapter 40

**Hi,**

 **Sorry I'm updating late. Hope you enjoy this chapter !**

* * *

Clarke walked inside the mansion, furious. Music was loud, hundreds of guests were enjoying the party outside.

"Clarke, wait,'' Anya called her. ''He loves being a dick, but you don't have to listen to him.''

"No, he's right !" Clarke hissed.

She flew away and Anya was left, arms crossed, in the middle of the hall. Lexa appeared a few minutes later, looking around.

''Why did I see Clarke running away from the garden ?'' she asked her sister.

"She's just probably hiding somewhere," Anya answered, and seeing Lexa's eyes fixed on her, she added "She met Roan."

Lexa's eyes turned red. "What did you damn husband tell her ?!" Her anger didn't move Anya at all.

The older sister simply replied "He just told him that she was a bitch from the streets who had a baby for your pity."

Lexa's jaws clenched so much that Anya thought her husband was going to die tonight. Roan was a general for the US Army. He wasn't always at home, but he could free himself for the wedding of his beloved sister-in-law. He was as kind and loving as Anya, something that emphasized the reason why they were married.

"Clarke takes things too personnally," Anya commented.

It only made Lexa angrier. She ignored her sister's comment and left. She was going to find Roan and clear some things. He wasn't very hard to find. Standing in the courtyard with a glass of champagne in his hand, he was talking to a kind couple who would have probably regretted talking to this man if Lexa hadn't intervened.

"Roan." She called him very simply. He turned around, a grin growing on his face. He expected her to come.

"Well, finally, my dear sister-in-law comes to greet me."

Lexa would punch him in the face if they weren't surrounded by people. She remained straight, hands crossed in her back. "You annoyed my wife," she said, expecting the grin that grew wider on the man's face.

"You know I love annoying people. You also know that I only said the truth about her. I never expected you to get a woman from the streets with a baby in her arms, but I guess she must be good in bed."

Roan knew Lexa wouldn't fight him in front of everyone. She stared at him, face cold, and took her time to answer.

"You say one more word about her and the dirt on you hidden by the military will get out. You know I would do it. My wife may not have been the wealthiest, but she knows what respect is. She might even teach you."

She never expected any answer. She walked away. She only wanted to find Clarke and kiss the damn insults out of her mouth.

* * *

Clarke had gone in one of the living rooms, an empty one that was of no use tonight. She wasn't really moved by Roan's words, but by her own past. She hated being reminded of her mistakes, because they were terrible and gross.

She leaned against a table laid against the wall. She wanted to clear her head before going back to the party. Tonight was the night when the world would discover Lexa Woods' wife. Clarke was anxious. Will her life be the same after tonight ? She hoped it wouldn't be too different, but was ready to face popularity. For Lexa.

"Clarke Woods," a voice called, but not the voice Clarke wanted to hear.

She looked up to see the silhouette of a man she never thought she'd see again.

"You..." she whispered. She hadn't noticed the slightly french accent that had been obvious on the a of her first name.

"Salut, ma belle," _Hi, beautiful,_ he told her, walking up to her.

He came close enough to Clarke, surely too close for her. What the hell was he doing back in America ?

"Legrand. Que me vaut l'honneur ?" _To what do I owe the pleasure ?_

"Oh," he smiled, "elle parle français." _She speaks french._ He looked down at his hand and Clarke noticed the phone he was holding. He held it up to his face, smiling at whatever he was watching that Clarke couldn't see. "Eh bien, j'étais surpris quand j'ai appris que Lexa Woods se mariait. Encore plus quand j'ai vu la mariée..." _Well, I was surprised when I learnt that Lexa Woods was getting married. Even more when I saw the bride..._

He was talking without paying attention to her. Whatever was on his phone was more interesting to him. Something bad, Clarke was sure.

"Jaloux ?" _Jealous ?_ Clarke insisted. She wanted this scene to go faster so she could discover whatever evil plan Legrand had put in place. Months ago, he had tried to ask Lexa her hand, and had been severely rejected. He had made amends but today he was back. Clarke hid her worry deep inside of her. She wasn't going to be weak in front of this freakshow.

"De toi ? Certainement pas. Tu es pathétique. Quel gâchis ce mariage..." _Of you ? Absolutely not. You're pathetic. This wedding is a waste._

"You came all this way to tell me this ?" Clarke cut the french mascarade off.

"No, actually... I have a deal that you can't refuse." His smile was big. A dirty grin.

"I don't want any deal with you."

"Oh, but you will," he said, turning his phone for Clarke to finally see what was on the screen.

Clarke's mouth dropped in shock. _How did he... get that... ?_ She was watching herself doing the worst thing she had ever done in the back of a car that day in the parking lot. The day she had finally accepted Lexa's full help. Because Aden had nearly died. Because of her.

"I have found my allies," Legrand grinned. He took the phone away and watched Clarke slowly losing her composure. First, she was shocked. Then fear covered her face. What did Legrand want with her ? "So," he didn't way too long to tell, "I can release this video, which is secured on another phone, and the world will see how Lexa likes women : dirty and with no dignity. Or, you can let me ruin your marriage tonight by sleeping with me."

Clarke would've yelled a loud 'WHAT ?' if her throat wasn't sore. This man was blackmailing her. But there are things he didn't know. Clarke had been promised nothing like what was happening would happen ever again and she hoped that Legrand wouldn't come to his end.

"The choice is easy, Clarke," he added, "if I can't have Lexa I'm gonna have her wife. Refuse and Lexa's reputation blows away. Do you really think her partnerships will stand after the truth about her is revealed ? She's even dirtier than you... and you're the proof of it."

"Ferme ta gueule." _Shut the fuck up._ Clarke spitted. She was terrified, but anger had become stronger when Legrand had started talking about Lexa. "You will leave Lexa out of this."

Legrand smiled at the blonde's temper. He raised a hand to brush her hair back and she was too furious and scared to react. "I guess we have a deal then," he answered.

He grabbed her waist and leaned into her. If she pushed him away, Lexa's empire would shatter because of her. She couldn't destroy what Lexa had been working so hard for years. Or could she ? She had been used to let people get to her like this, because she had never had an actual choice. And tonight, she felt like she didn't have a choice either. He was about to kiss her. He was close enough for Clarke to smell his fresh breath. She hated it. She hated any breath that wasn't Lexa's. Because her heart had chosen once in its life and its choice had been Lexa. Lexa. Whom Clarke was waiting for.

Who came.

"Leave her be," she said firmly.

Legrand turned around, his grin holding on to his face despite his surprise. How could she know how to find Clarke in time...

Lexa held up the black watch she had at her wrist that was perfectly matching her black wedding dress.

"Lexa !" Clarke let out a relieved sigh and ran to Lexa, throwing herself into her arms like a little girl. But damn, she was happy to see her...

"I'm releasing the video," Legrand shouted, furious his plan hadn't worked. He was going to ruin the Woods not matter what.

"So that's what it's about ? A video ?" Lexa asked coldly. "I come here to find my wife in your arms. Do you really think I was going to believe that she could cheat on me with _you_? You're not even a full man. You're a joke."

Legrand, who had been staring at Lexa, looked down at his phone and it was enough of a signal for Lexa to run to him and pin him down. The phone flew away and Clarke ran to grab it. Lexa punched the man hard. He nearly lost consciousness.

"Clarke, go give the phone to Green. He'll trace the video and erase it entirely."

Clarke didn't want to leave the room now but Lexa was right, the video needed to be erased. She left the room to go find her once-coworker-friend Monty and discretely explained what had occurred. He didn't judge her on the video and told her everything would be erased tonight. He was doing this as Lexa's employee, Clarke knew that it wasn't some friend's act, because they weren't really friends, they barely knew each other back in the time when they would hang out with Raven, Octavia, Bellamy and Jasper, but maybe now, with time, they could become actual friends. After all, Clarke was free.

She came back to Lexa whom she met halfway in the hallway. She melted into her arms.

"I'm so glad you put that tracker on my dress tonight," Clarke whispered into her ear.

"Me too," Lexa whispered back.

Clarke didn't move for a while. She enjoyed Lexa's sweet scent, and the strong arms wrapping her waist. Tonight, when Legrand was holding her, she knew Lexa would come and fix everything. Lexa had a thousand plans to make sure Clarke would be safe in any case. Safe from her reputation.

"Clarke..." Lexa broke the embrace to look in the eyes of her wife. Clarke met her soft gaze and fell into it. The brunette was far from being the fierce woman who had taken Legrand down earlier. "You know... if anyone threatens my reputation or even you... don't listen to them. I mean, I know you could've kicked Legrand's ass yourself, but you were worried about my company. Do not worry. Do not let anyone use me to get to you. Okay ?"

Clarke bit her lip at the feeling of a pinch in her heart. Lexa would lose her empire for her... no. She could never lose her empire because she always found a way to fix everything. Lexa was strong, smart, and had the biggest and warmest heart Clarke had ever been around to.

"I knew you'd come," Clarke simply answered. "I knew you'd track me down all evening," she laughed, feeling her chest getting rid of the weight it had been crushed with.

Lexa laughed and kissed Clarke's cheek, nearly biting it. "I wouldn't let you out of my sight," she smiled against her skin.

"Good thing," Clarke answered, "because I really want you around me tonight."

Lexa laughed and pulled back, grabbing Clarke's hand to get back to the party. "I'm not letting you go until tomorrow afternoon when we'll have to come pick our kids up back here."

Clarke smiled and discretely bit her lip. Lexa was definitely the most perfect wife ever.

* * *

"Come on, Clarke," Lexa pulled Clarke up on the stage.

Clarke had tried to walk back into the mansion when Lexa had told her it was time but the latter had won anyway. Clarke was now on stage with her. In front of everyone.

Lexa didn't even need to ask for everyone's attention, she had it as soon as she climbed the first step of the stairs leading to the stage.

"Thank you for coming tonight," Lexa started with a neutral smile. Clarke's hand in hers, she brought her closer to grab her waist. "Some people have already tried to use my wife's past against her. That is why, now, we shall tell you her story."

Clarke was trying to smile normally but she was very anxious. Being near Lexa was helpful, but she was still scared of the crowd's reaction to what was going to be told. They weren't going to go into details, of course, but they had agreed on revealing her story before the medias made one up for her.

"Clarke was born of an Australian mother and a French father," Lexa started.

She told the audience, including the few cameras filming the event, how Clarke's father had died, leaving his daughter to the hands of a woman who wanted to sell her girl to a violent man.

She told how Clarke had spent three years alone, with no money, until she got here and tried to work for the company that had cost her father's life.

She told the story of the young woman who got pregnant after a stressful encounter with her exboyfriend. How this woman could barely handle work and her pregnancy. And when she started talking of Clarke refusing her help, the latter cut her off by taking the microphone from her.

"I was scared of letting Lexa Woods help me through my pregnancy. She found out I was living in the streets and I freaked out. The thing is : I was terrified of ending up like my father, but I was also angry at the Woods for what happened to him. I gave birth, promising Lexa I would give news, because she had let me keep my job, and then I wasn't able to work, so I lost that job, and I was too ashamed to come seek help."

She paused, feeling Lexa's reassuring hand on her waist. She smiled lightly at her and breathed out.

"What I'm trying to say is... I was scared of the CEO. But my whole adventure led me into knowing Lexa, and even after she helped me, after she offered to buy me a place to live with my son, I couldn't leave her. It took me a while to realize it but... I literally can't live without her. She's the first and last person I've been in love with."

The crowd remained silent for a while. Lexa was looking at Clarke, as everyone else, awe strucking her face. A small voice echoed from the crowd and Clarke knew it was a question.

The figure of a woman appeared from the crowd. A cameraman was beside her. Journalists.

"What about the money ?" the woman asked.

Clarke knew this question would come, and she had the perfect answer for it. "Well, I've spent ten bucks yesterday to buy groceries for a chocolate cake. I should probably feel ashamed of spending that much."

The crowd laughed and the woman seemed frustrated, but Lexa's lips grabbed Clarke's as a reward, and the crowd remained even more silent than they had before. Clarke smiled against Lexa's lips. She had never thought being kissed in front of everyone - and on live tv - would feel that good, but Lexa always found a way to make everything she did good.

* * *

Clarke said goodbye to her friends. Raven had spent one hour mocking her with jokes she had expected from her friend and Octavia congratulated her for her speech. Now everyone knew her story, the difficulty of surviving as a lonely young woman in the streets, no one could ever bully or blackmail her.

She joined Lexa in the hallway and they both left even though there were still guests partying outside. They used the backyard to slip away from the mansion without being noticed by everyone.

They drove home and were glad to finally be away from the crowd.

The house was quiet. Aden and Madi were spending the night at the mansion in Luna's apartment. Madi had told her new mothers she didn't mind spending the night elsewhere, she had had less than a bed in the past, same as Clarke, and wasn't hard to live with.

"I guess we can say that tracking device on my dress was a good idea," Clarke said, pulling Lexa against her after the door closed behind them.

"I'm going to put trackers in each piece of clothes you own," Lexa replied, slipping her head into Clarke's neck to taste her skin.

"Really ?" Clarke chuckled. "I don't think any tracker is needed right now."

"You're right," Lexa said, pulling back. She took her hand and brought her onto the couch. Sitting beside her, she added "You're gonna be twenty-three very soon, and a little while after that Aden is gonna be one, so... what do you want ?"

Clarke, who had thought Lexa wanted to talk about something actually serious, laughed loudly.

"What ?" Lexa said, eyes wide in confusion.

"You, dumbass," she answered, calming down and finding the frown on her wife's face "I want you," she explained, and Lexa's face softened. "I don't want or need any birthday gift, and I'm pretty sure Aden will need clothes and baby stuff, 'cause he's growing so fast ! Maybe I might want a camera now I think of it, to take as many pics and videos of him before he becomes a man."

Lexa laughed and let herself fall onto Clarke, using her as a teddy bear. She was far from the reknown CEO. "I'm gonna get you the best camera ever," she laughed. She buried her face into Clarke's breasts and the latter chuckled.

"Lexa ?"

"Hm ?"

"How about you take me to bed right now instead of enjoying my lovely dressed chest ?"

"Might do that."

Lexa pulled back and Clarke tried to stand up but the brunette collapsed on her. Lexa laid sticky lips onto Clarke's face.

"Lexa !" she screamed, already laughing from the attack.

"Sorry," Lexa answered with a sharp voice, "I can't keep myself, I have needs," she insisted, but couldn't keep playing seriously as a chuckle escaped her mouth. "Mwah," she mouthed loudly as she laid another wide kiss on Clarke's cheek.

"Seriously..." Clarke whispered under her, chuckling from her wife's foolishness. A hand was laid on her hips and lips grabbed her ear.

"Hey can I get your number ?" Lexa laughed before finally letting go. She held a hand to Clarke to help her up and pulled her into a gentle kiss. "This was how I'm not going to treat you," Lexa said, seriously this time.

Clarke smiled and looked down, giving Lexa a clue of the upcoming joke. "Well, I can't promise I won't treat you like that."

Lexa stared at her for two long seconds and laughed. "You get me in any room, anytime," she laughed, but her eyes were showing how much she actually wanted it, and it turned Clarke on in a second.

"Let's start by our bedroom in the huge bed, right now," Clarke said and immediately pulled Lexa upstairs by the arm.

The wedding night was going to be the longest ever, but also probably their favourite.

* * *

 **So, liked it ?**

 **The end of this story is very near. The next chapter won't be the last, though I've decided that the end of this story will be a chapter about the Woods six years later. Tell me if you're up for it or if you'd rather have me end the story in its present time.**

 **Have a nice week, see you soon (hopefully) !**


	41. Chapter 41

**Hey,**

 **I'm posting late again, sorry.**

 **Thanks for your reviews, I'm glad you like the idea of a time jump. This is the last chapter before we move six years ahead. Hope you'll like it :)**

* * *

Lexa slightly moved her head, heavily asleep. She started dreaming about choking, a dream that woke her up. She removed her head from Clarke's hair. _Huh, it wasn't a dream_ , she thought as she took in a deep breath.

Clarke was still sleeping, and Lexa watched her for a couple of minutes before she buried her head in the pale neck again. Her legs entangled with Clarke's, she felt at ease, like their naked bodies matched perfectly. She fell asleep again, but only for a few minutes, because the alarm shouted for them to wake up. They had to pick up their kids in two hours.

Clarke opened her eyes slowly, and groaned when she realized what the bell meant. She turned it off as it was closer to her than Lexa, and closed her arms around the woman who had slipped onto her.

"Slept well ?" Lexa asked, leaning to kiss her.

Clarke smiled against the brunette's lips. They hadn't slept much, but it had been worth it.

''We forgot to brush our teeth last night, we taste like alcohol," Clarke pointed out with a chuckle.

"It's a good thing we didn't drink too much," Lexa laughed, laying gentle kisses on Clarke's cheek.

Lexa's hand took one of Clarke's to entwine. Their rings collided, making both women turn their heads to watch them.

"Now we can wear them wherever and whenever we want," Clarke pointed out.

"I'm never taking it off," Lexa answered, laying her head down on Clarke's chest, "I want everyone to know you're mine."

Clarke laughed and slipped her free hand in Lexa's loose hair. "I think they all know now." The room fell silent and they enjoyed this moment of peace. Clarke thought about how great last night had been despite Anya's terrible husband and the French jerk. It's when people like Legrand are around that Clarke wished her father was still around. Jake Griffin would have probably taken Legrand back to France himself and given him to the old Jacques, a man Jake had known in his childhood and was always mean to everyone, even following kids around with a cane. Old Jacques was probably dead right now, or close to it, but Clarke couldn't help but think about this story her father used to tell her.

Clarke chuckled and Lexa rose her head. The gesture made Clarke justify her chuckling.

"Last night was crazy... I'm still surprised Legrand was the one to try and take us down. We expected someone to try but... him... his life must be very boring..."

Lexa watched her for a few seconds and stood up. She grabbed a panty and a t-shirt from the cupboard and put them on.

"What are you doing ?" Clarke asked, surprised.

"I have a call to make before we get breakfast. Join me downstairs in ten ? I won't be long."

Clarke nodded and Lexa left the room. She didn't need to ask who Lexa was going to call. She knew it was all about Legrand. Lexa wasn't going to let him get away that easily.

* * *

Clarke dressed up and went into the kitchen to make breakfast. She made coffee and toasts. Lexa joined her not long after Clarke was done.

"If things go as planned Legrand will not be authorized to come back to America, and if we ever go to France together he won't be allowed to be near us," Lexa explained.

"Good, settled then," Clarke replied and sat at the kitchen bar.

Lexa sat beside her and watched her bite her toast. Clarke ate with hunger, no more with the disgust and pain that eating used to cause her.

"Aren't you eating ?" Clarke asked, noticing Lexa's stare on her.

"I'm glad you're eating well," Lexa answered with a large smile, "glad you gained weight too."

A furrow appeared on Clarke's forehead, showing her skepticism. "Is that supposed to be a compliment ?"

"Yes," Lexa chuckled, "you're healthy now. You don't collapse anymore."

"I'm not done with my treatment yet..." Clarke murmured, remembering how skinny she was weeks after she gave birth. She had put her own life in danger for her son to survive before realizing she wasn't strong enough to keep Aden safe.

Arms wrapped around her waist. Lexa had stood up and was standing behind her. Clarke came back to reality where she was married to the woman she loved and had two children with whom she was living in a nice house near the beach. She stood up too, facing Lexa, melting into her arms. Her lips met Lexa's neck and she felt the urge to taste it.

Lexa lowered her head, appreciating what Clarke was doing, but a reminder made her pull away.

"Aren't we supposed to get ready to go get our kids ?" she asked, knowing Clarke was going to make her run through the house to get ready if they weren't in time.

"We still have time for a quick shower," Clarke replied, a smirk stretching her lips.

Lexa grinned and kissed Clarke's pale cheek before pulling her by the hand through the corridors. She could never refuse Clarke a shower.

* * *

Lexa was waiting for Clarke in the car. Her wife had forgotten to change Aden's sheets and she absolutely wanted to do it now. Lexa knew Clarke was doing everything she could for Aden to be fine, which reflected as anxiety in her behaviour. Clarke needed to put things in order when it ocurred, and Lexa let her because she remembered how hard it had been for Clarke to take care of Aden at first.

Lexa sometimes regretted she had not been there with Clarke for the birth, but she understood why she couldn't have and used every moment she had now to be with Clarke and their son.

The door opened and Clarke fell on the passenger seat. She buckled up and told Lexa they were good to go. Lexa started the car and left the driveway.

"Did you do everything you needed to do at home ?" she asked Clarke, concerned about her wife's feelings.

"Yes, I did," she answered, but something was bothering her, and Lexa noticed the small sketchbook she was holding. Clarke knew it had been spotted and decided to explain. "I drew a few things these last few weeks and I'm thinking... maybe I should paint them. Our story. I... I just feel like I need to," she awkwardly say, hoping Lexa wouldn't reject the idea. She needed Lexa to support her through this, otherwise she wouldn't have the strength to paint how she had felt through the last two years.

Lexa didn't say a word for a couple of minutes, and when she finally got out of the neighbourhood, she pulled the car on the side of the road. She stopped it calmly and turned toward a breathless Clarke.

She took Clarke's hand in hers and caressed the top of it with her thumb to reassure her.

"I told you I'd help you no matter what, and I will. We can make an art studio for you. After all you've been through, you deserve anything."

Clarke smiled and entwined their fingers. They had fought a lot in the past but now they rarely disagreed on matters. With two kids to raise, they knew they would probably fight in the future but it wouldn't be enough to break them apart. They were tied to each other, neither of them able to see their life any other way.

"For now let's go get our kids," Clarke answered, and Lexa nodded.

The car was soon back on the road to the Woods Mansion.

* * *

Lexa got out of the car, Clarke already waiting for her outside. The latter couldn't wait to get her kids back. Lexa grabbed her hand and Clarke pulled her toward the mansion's main doors.

They were at Luna's door in less than two minutes, Lexa unable to make Clarke slow down. The blonde knocked on the door which quickly opened, Madi's little face appearing behind it.

"Hey !" Clarke smiled wildly, inviting Madi in her arms. The little girl wrapped her arms above Clarke's waist and held tight. "Has everything been okay ?"

Madi pulled back and they walked into the apartment, Lexa behind.

"Luna showed me how to draw a horse, I have even painted one !" Madi exclaimed, happy with her new family.

Clarke congratulated her and looked around to see Luna coming toward her holding two tiny hands. Her heart melted when she saw Aden walking with Luna's help. Aden stopped a few meters from Clarke and freed his hands from Luna's who looked at him with surprise. Then, he stepped forward, fighting to steady himself. Smiling at his mother, he slowly tried to move on another step. A couple more and he threw himself in his mother's arms, chuckling.

Clarke fell down, her baby wrapped in her arms, trying to hold the tears. Aden was almost one and he had walked alone for the first time. He still had training to do, but he would probably walk fine for his first birthday.

Aden buried his head in his mother's neck, a big smile stretching his little lips.

Standing beside them, Lexa and Madi were in awe. The brunette took Madi's hand. She wanted her to feel like she was a part of this family. Seeing Clarke so close to her son could make you feel like she didn't care about you, but Lexa knew it had to do with their history. Clarke had nearly lost her son and that fact bonded them tightly.

"Oh, sweetheart, you did it !" she heard Clarke say, "I'm so proud of you !"

Madi looked up at Lexa, and the brunette explained. "Aden has asthma. He's been sick for his first few months and was very tired, but he's getting more energic and hopefully his asthma attacks will calm down with time."

Madi's mouth opened in a 'o' shape and they waited for Clarke to stand up again in silence. When the emotional mother did, Lexa approached and laid a kiss on Aden's black hair. He turned his head toward her, his bright blue eyes meeting green, and chuckled, lifting his hands in front of him for Lexa to take him.

"He wants me to take him ?" Lexa asked in surprise.

Clarke laughed loudly. "He probably misses slapping you." She handed him over and Lexa took him in her arms. And then, he surprised her with a hug.

Luna joined them with the kids' bags, giving Madi hers and handing Aden's over to Clarke who took it.

"Luna, what did you do to my son ?" Lexa asked, surprised Aden hadn't hit or spitted on her yet.

"Aden didn't cry this time, thanks to his new sister. I guess he likes her," Luna commented.

The two mothers looked down at Madi with a questioning look. The little girl explained "I played with him and gave him dinner, he smiles at me a lot, I think I have a funny face."

Clarke and Lexa gave her a lovely smile. They had adopted Madi quite fast, but the girl fit in perfectly in the family.

"I'm afraid you're gonna have to go, I have to get to the gallery on the fifth," Luna said, and they thanked her before leaving the apartment.

Lexa was glad she had a sister who loved kids, because otherwise they couldn't have the house for themselves as often. They had a nanny for Aden, of course, but she was getting old and Lexa didn't want to bother her at night anymore.

They left the mansion and headed for the town's private school. They thought it would be safer for Madi considering she was now a Woods. On their way, Lexa explained that adoption usually took more time, but with the right contacts she got to speed things up for both Aden and her.

Once they were done with the school, they headed home. Madi was starting in a new school next monday and she didn't seem to be bothered. She knew she had to go back to school eventually, and her new mothers were doing their best to get her used to this new life.

Clarke laid Aden in his high chair and gave him toys to play with. They were all in the kitchen. Clarke wanted to teach Madi how to make _crêpes_. Lexa sat at the kitchen bar with her laptop. She had to check on her company. Her mailbox was always full with files and news her employees sent her.

Clarke threw a glance at her focussed wife. She didn't mind Lexa having her laptop while they were having a family moment because she had worked for Woods Enterprises and knew how complicated it was. Lexa had to keep an eye on her company.

''Do I add the eggs now ?" Madi asked, and Clarke focussed on the little girl again. She showed her how to mix properly and they started talking about anything that came to their mind.

"What was your name again ? Before you married Lexa ?" Madi asked, and Clarke stopped, surprised. Madi was a clever girl, she learnt fast and remembered almost everything she was told.

"Griffin," Clarke replied, "my father's name."

"But you said your father was French, his name doesn't sound like french."

"You've heard french ?" Lexa asked from the bar, lifting her stare from her laptop.

"They made us sing a song at school two years ago, but I can't remember the lyrics, it was hard."

Clarke smiled. Madi was clever and curious. She was surely a very good student. She put the bowl full of paste in the fridge and poured three glasses of orange juice on the counter. She held a hand for Madi to climb onto the bar chair and started her explanation.

"You're right, Griffin isn't French. My father's grandfather was British. He fought in the north of France during World War I. He was injured before the end of the war and stayed in France to heal. He met my great grandmother and two years later, my grandfather was born. The name Griffin is still, but the only British man of the family died fifty years ago."

Lexa had stopped tapping onto her keyboard to listen to her. She had never heard the whole story, and now she wanted to learn more, but Clarke never told two stories in a row. She talked about her family whenever she felt like it.

The blonde went back to clean up the counter and prepared the pan. The story was over. Clarke was probably thinking about her father, whom she missed very much. Lexa closed her laptop and stood up to go hug Clarke from behind.

"Do you need another set of hands ?" she asked.

Clarke laughed loudly, out of her thoughts. "You'd ruin our crêpes. Madi will help me."

Frustrated but happy to hear her wife laugh, Lexa stole a kiss from her and returned to her seat. Aden chuckled when she passed beside him and she held her tongue out at him. Sitting on her chair, she thought of getting back to work on her laptop but she didn't feel like it. Instead, she stood up again, took Aden from the chair and disappeared into the living room.

"Ady and I are gonna have some men time. Call us when you're done with the crêpes girls !" Lexa shouted.

Clarke laughed and showed Madi how to cook a crêpe before she let her do it. She could hear Lexa talking to a laughing Aden and her heart warmed up. Two years ago, she had never expected to find such a beautiful family on her way.


	42. Six years later

**Hey !**

 **Here we are, on the last chapter ! I feel weird about ending this story - as always, actually - but I reached the end of it, and I'm glad I went where I wanted to go from the start.**

 **I hope you will enjoy this ending. I'll probably post other stories in english, I just need time to pick one of my ideas and write it down. It was the first story I ever wrote in english and I hope there aren't too many typos.**

 **Thank you to all of you who read the story until the end, and another set of thanks to everyone who reviewed. Much appreciated !**

 **On this note, I let you read the ending.**

 **See ya ;)**

* * *

Hot water warmed up their necks. Clarke moved her head to change the angle and grabbed Lexa's lips again. She smiled when Lexa's body tensed under her effect. She sucked on Lexa's lower trembling lip, their pounding hearts making the water move against their chests.

"Maan ? Maman !" _Moom ? Mommy !_ a sharp voice called from the floor below.

Noise coming from the stairs made Clarke stop everything.

"Shit." She left the bathtub in a hurry, leaving a startled Lexa in the water.

She grabbed a bathrobe and left the room before her son could come. She saw him open the bedroom door, his cheeks red from yelling.

"Man, I can't find my inhalor. I need it for tomorrow's game !"

Clarke sighed and left the room with him. He was supposed to be in bed, but there was always something he needed to do before going to sleep. Clarke thought she could have some time with Lexa. She had killed her water demon and was able to swim with her children and take baths with Lexa, but it appeared that tonight wasn't going to be a night off.

"Aden, it's in your bag..." Clarke told him with a sigh after she checked the sport bag near the desk. "I put it in so you wouldn't forget it like last time," she added, and the boy frowned.

Aden was only seven and he was already strong-minded, like his mothers and his fifteen-year-old sister. "I thought I had to watch over my own stuff ?" he said, frustrated. But his frustration seemed heavier. It wasn't just about the inhalor.

Clarke sat down on his bed and invited him beside her. "What's wrong ?"

He didn't move, looking at his feet, his hands tied behind him. A strand of black hair aiming for the sky on the top of his head.

"Qu'est-ce qui se passe ?" Clarke insisted, knowing French was _the_ solution to make Aden talk.

The boy hesitated before joining his mother on the bed. "The new teacher asked us to make a family tree. When she saw mine she asked me why I didn't put my father like the other kids, and I told her I didn't have one, that I have two mothers. She said it's not possible."

He was playing with his small hands, looking at them with a concerned frown stuck on his forehead. Clarke kept a sigh in. She understood how her son felt, and anger flooded through her veins at the teacher's comment.

"To make a baby, you need a woman and a man, Aden," she tried to explain, "but to raise a baby, you need parents. You don't make mothers and fathers, honey, you become them. You have a biological father, a man whom you share DNA with. You are part of me, and part of him. But he wasn't a father."

Aden seemed confused. He looked up at his mother and found the same blue eyes he had. "DNA like when you told me my eyes were like yours because we shared the same body ID card ?"

Clarke laughed. She had already tried before to explain to her son that she was his biological mother and Lexa had adopted him. It was hard explaining what DNA was to a kid, but a new idea made her steal her son's coloring book. She drew a quick helix on it.

"Okay, look," she showed the book to him. "This is like a puzzle for humans. Tiny pieces built together to make this. To build one of this, you get some parts from other humans. I gave you part of mine. Your biological father gave you part of his. And then it built itself up to create one unique you. Your eye color is a piece I gave you, must be somewhere around here," she pointed randomly on the not-so-precise drawing. DNA was more complex than this, but she needed Aden to understand the basics. "But, and that's the important point, DNA doesn't make you a good or bad person. You can grow up and be as badass as your mom is," she said, talking about Lexa.

As Clarke had always spoke french to Aden, as regularly as possible, he was used to calling her ' _Maman_ ' or, for short, ' _Man_ ', and, consequently, called Lexa ' _Mom_ ' or ' _Mommy_ '.

"So I have a choice ?" Aden said, eyes glowing. "I can be whatever I want ?"

"Whoever you want, yes," Clarke answered, taking him against her in a long hug. "But the good thing about us sharing DNA is... if you ever get sick or injured I can give you a part of me."

Aden's eyes widened as he remembered something and he lifted up, leaving his mother's arms as he nearly yelled. "Like when Madi saved me and got hit by the car and bled and Lexa gave her blood at the hospital ?"

Clarke looked down. It occurred last year. Madi had offered to take Aden to the beach for the afternoon and both mothers had accepted. Madi was fourteen back then and she could handle herself. Clarke and Lexa were enjoying a sunday afternoon at home when they received the call.

Right outside of the neighbourhood, a car had come out of nowhere, too fast for Aden to get out of the way, and Madi, whom had always been a brave girl, had pushed him away and took the hit. It had been said that Aden, at his age, size and weight, wouldn't have survived. Madi barely made it because Lexa had been able to give her enough blood.

Since then, Lexa had created security posts near every neighbourhood and had reinforced the town's law by threatening the Maire to cut off her company's support to the town. The driver who had hit Madi had been found and was still in jail. The Woods family was even closer since the accident. Life was too fragile to waste time.

"Madi doesn't share DNA with Lexa, but they can share blood. It happens. That's why people donate their blood, because it can help other people."

"If something happens to you I'll share my blood with you," Aden said, and it ignited Clarke's heart so strongly that she grabbed him and hugged him tight. She kissed his head and forehead again and again.

"Beeeuuurk ! Lâche-mooiii !" _Eeeww, let go of me !_ Aden complained, trying to free himself from his mother's grip.

Clarke laughed and let him go. "You should sleep, otherwise you'll be tired for your game tomorrow."

He pouted but nodded and slid under the blankets. "Man ?" he called her as she stood up from the bed.

"Hm ?" she looked at him and he reminded her so much of her father, eyes so clear, like water under a blue sky, and full of so many feelings Clarke could read into his eyes.

"Je dis quoi à la maîtresse quand elle verra que j'ai pas mis de papa comme elle m'a dit ?" _What do I tell the teacher when she sees I didn't put a dad like she told me ?_ he asked, and his use of french showed Clarke how nervous he was on the subject. He spoke as if he was scared that the teacher could hear him and get mad at him.

Anger came back to Clarke and she sat on the bed again, taking Aden's small hand in hers. "Lexa et moi irons lui parler demain matin. Ne t'inquiètes plus pour ça." _Lexa and I will talk to her tomorrow morning. Don't worry about it anymore._

Aden nodded and opened his arms to get one last hug. He laid a kiss on Clarke's cheek and laid back. Clarke left the room, turning off the light on her way out. She felt like murdering that teacher for confusing her son.

She spotted Madi in the corridor who threw her an apologizing look.

"Sorry," the teenager said, "I wanted to ask you something and I overheard your conversation... I can't believe there are still people out there who believe two women can't raise a child. The woman who raised me... she was alone. She was alone and was also a terrible mother. How can someone think that two women or two men aren't fit to be parents ?"

Clarke asked herself the same when she heard stories about orphans. Kids were still alone, or in families where they felt alone, and Clarke was doing her best to help them through the fundation she had created with Lexa five years ago.

"Some people aren't open-minded, Madi," she answered, looking at the girl who was a few years from becoming a young woman. "But we won't let them ruin our family."

"I know," Madi smiled. "I just don't think I'd still be alive if you and Lexa hadn't taken me in. You're always so busy but you still find time to spend with us."

"Aaaawww," Clarke smiled and pulled Madi into her arms, "that's because we love you kiddos."

"C'mon," Madi laughed, "I'm not ten anymore."

"What ? You don't want my hugs anymore ? I am very saddened," Clarke replied and freed Madi. She remembered she was still wearing a bathrobe and should probably go back to her room, and most of all, Lexa. "You needed something ?"

"Ah, yes ! I'm out of nightpads. Do you have one ?"

Clarke chuckled and turned around. "I'm gonna get you one. See how useful it is for teenage girls to have two moms." She went up into her room, took some pads and went down again to give them to Madi. She hugged her goodnight and went back to her room, for good this time.

When she came into the bedroom, Lexa got out of the bathroom, brushing her hair on the side. One glance and Lexa felt Clarke was moved.

"Everything okay ?" she asked her.

"Aden asked me about his father." She explained what had happened and they joined the bed as they talked. Clarke took off her bathrobe and slid against Lexa, not bothering to put on some clothes.

Lexa was wearing a short and a sleeveless top. Clarke push the shirt up Lexa's neck. She wanted their skin to touch tonight. She wanted Lexa's warmth against her for the night.

"You want to sleep naked again," Lexa noted, letting Clarke undress her.

She nodded and snuggled against her. "We'll get up earlier tomorrow to get dressed in case Aden wakes up on his own and comes in."

Lexa wrapped Clarke in her arms. She was never tired of having Clarke against her. She thought about Aden's questions on parenthood. "We'll wait. And if in a year or two he brings back the father subject we'll offer him to get in touch with Finn. But I don't think it would be a good idea to contact him. He's out of jail now and far from here. I'd rather keep it that way."

Clarke was caressing Lexa's belly with her fingers. She didn't want Finn back in their life. "Aden didn't ask to meet his father. Honestly, I don't think he's gonna want to meet him. He has us and Madi, he's happy this way. I'm just sad to see him confused about us just because some bitch made a comment."

Lexa hummed Clarke's hair, a relaxing fruity smell calming her, and she answered "We'll talk to that teacher tomorrow. She'll see how good of a daddy I am."

Clarke looked up, her palm laying on Lexa's belly, and raised a brow at her before bursting into laughter. "That one sucks," she chuckled, and felt Lexa's lips on the top of her head. She snuggled closer, half-lying on her, and hid her head in Lexa's neck. She always felt safe like this, like she belonged, and she loved being surrounded by Lexa's warmth and smell. Her skin was soft, fruity from their nightbath, and her breath caressed Clarke's cheek. They didn't add a word, too comfy and calm to even say goodnight. They fell asleep in a matter of minutes.

* * *

Clarke woke up at 5.30am. She turned her '6am' alarm off to keep her and Lexa from hearing the devilish sound. Lexa started moving, feeling a bit cold now Clarke wasn't against her anymore.

"Clarke ?" she called her. She wanted her back. She wanted a couple hours more of sleep. She wanted the fresh smell of Clarke's hair at dawn.

"I'm here," Clarke murmured, sitting on the edge of the bed. She grabbed the clothes she had been supposed to wear the day before and put them on. She fetched Lexa's clothes and brought them to her.

Lexa grabbed her wrist to pull her down in her arms. Clarke chuckled. Even when Lexa used her strength to grab her, she didn't harm her. It was always gentle somehow. She met Lexa's lips and held onto them for a little while longer.

When they parted, Lexa lifted into a sitting position and Clarke hugged her, laying short kisses on her naked shoulder.

"I will never get up if you keep doing that," Lexa said, wishing she could just lay back and let Clarke kiss her.

The blonde laughed and stood up. "I'm gonna take a quick shower and you're gonna get dressed before I come back," she ordered. They had this weird thing going on. Day after day, they needed each other more and more. They were even closer than they were before, and they could never fight without solving the issue with kisses and white sheets.

Clarke disappeared into the bathroom and Lexa dressed quickly to leave the room and burst into Aden's.

"WHERE'S THE MONSTER ?!" she yelled, and the halfman lying in bed moved under the blanket. She sat on the edge of the bed and poked the little man from above the blanket.

Aden groaned and turned around to lay on his back. "Mom... I don't wanna get up..." he complained.

Lexa laughed, the laugh that Aden recognized as the 'You have no choice' laugh. "You have to go to school Ady, I don't want you to end up like me."

Aden frowned. "You're a super CEO. You even told me you're your own boss."

Lexa laughed loudly. She loved disturbing her son. He always made the Clarke face she had been used to see from day one. The 'cut the bullshit' face. "Yeah but your mam' always beat me at Scrabble because she keeps using french words. I should've gone to these classes more often, but I was a dumb kid. You don't wanna be a dumb kid do you ?"

Aden sat up and defied his mother with tired blue eyes. A staring contest was launched, but Lexa was the best at making a neutral face, and Aden quickly pouted. "Why is school so early ?" he complained.

Lexa was about to make a comment about him getting late to bed last night when she noticed the night inhalor on the nightstand. "Hey, you had another attack during the night ?"

Aden nodded and pushed the blanket away.

"Why didn't you call us ?" Lexa asked. "You know we have the rest of your treatment in case you have trouble sleeping."

Aden jumped off of his bed and looked for clothes in his small cupboard. Lexa had asked Clarke last year to stop preparing Aden's clothes. He was old enough to get the clothes he wanted from his own cupboard and he did perfectly well.

"I can stop the attacks myself now, I'm super strong," the little boy said, and Lexa smiled at the comment but wasn't quite convinced.

She walked and kneeled in front of him, getting his full attention. "The inhalor is practical but it's not magic. When you have an attack you call us, okay ? We didn't give you a talkie for fun."

"But," he frowned and raised a hand to his eyes, fighting a yawn, "I don't want to wake you up. You told me someday I'll get to handle my asthma."

"Aden..." she grabbed his hands and looked deep into his eyes, "even adults need help. You know Mam used to be sick, and even though she was very strong she still needed assistance. I helped her until she got better, because we're family. We help each other, we give each other time no matter how exhausted or busy we are. So, you're in trouble, you call us, alright ?"

He looked away and nodded shyly. He let go of Lexa's hands and grabbed a pair of socks from the furniture. He stopped in his tracks, some thought freezing him on spot. "Mom ? Maman told you, right ? About the family tree ?"

Lexa stood up and slightly nodded, comforting her son with a gentle stare. "She did. Both of us will drive you to school today. We're gonna talk to your teacher."

"No !" Aden yelled, a veil of fear sliding onto his face. "What if she get mad at me for telling you ?!"

"Then I'll get her ass fired," Lexa calmly said with such confidence that fear left Aden's sweet eyes. "Come on, get dressed," she added, "or I'll get your ass fired too."

Aden laughed and ran to the bathroom. It was a good thing Clarke didn't hear the way Lexa had just talked to their son, because she hated it when Lexa used rude words in front of Aden.

Lexa walked to the other side of the corridor where Madi's room was. She knocked on the door and called "Madi ? You're up ?"

"Yes," the teenager yelled back.

"We're leaving at 7.30, we have to make a longer stop at Aden's school. Do you still want a ride ?"

"Yes ! Yes, I'll be ready !" Some noise was heard in every corner of the room before the door finally opened. "Hi Lex !" she walked around her, laying a quick kiss on her adoptive mother's cheek.

She disappeared into the staircase, quickly followed by a dressed up Aden yelling at his sister about some cereals he wanted.

Lexa smiled, heart pounding at another acknowledgement of the fact that she had the best family she could have ever asked for. She let out a content sigh and joined her kids downstairs. Clarke arrived in the kitchen a few minutes later.

* * *

"Madi, do you want to wait in the car ?" Clarke asked, pulling her door's handle to push the door open.

"No, I'm coming, I wanna see the so-called teacher," she answered, and the whole family left the car.

The school was private. It had a good security system. Clarke and Lexa felt better knowing their son was safe. Madi had asked for a public secondary school and both parents had accepted. Madi knew how to handle herself and nothing bad had happened to her at school so far. She had started high school last year and was doing well. At Clarke's surprise, Madi was considering med school or psychology. She wasn't sure yet, but she wanted to help people with science.

Aden walked into the classroom with a bit of anxiety. He was scared of the teacher's reaction at the sight of both his mothers, but he knew Clarke and Lexa wouldn't let the grey-haired woman do him wrong. He joined a little group of two boys and a girl and started chatting joyfully with them.

"Mrs Samson ?" Clarke called the teacher's attention. Class would only start in ten minutes. They had time to meet. Aden had told his mothers that the teacher would stay for at least four months until the former teacher came back.

"Hello," the teacher approached them, brow furrowed. She didn't expect to see any parent this morning. "You are ?"

"Aden's mothers," they said at the same time, watching the teacher's face fall. Lexa stared at her with cold eyes, hiding the amusement in a very discrete smirk. That teacher's face was gold, but she still had no right to discredit them in front of their son. Now was the time to see what the teacher had to say to them. "This is our daughter, Madi," Lexa added, showing the teenage girl beside her.

The teacher straightened, needing to feel confident in front of the women - Clarke and Lexa Woods ! "Mrs and - well - Mrs Woods ? Your son has been having some issue with our latest work, the family tree. I suppose that is why you are here."

"Issue ? I don't see any issue," Lexa answered very calmly, "we are his mothers, Madi is his sister, and he has aunts and cousins."

Mrs Samson cleared her throat and started explaining with her hands moving in front of her, as if she needed them to make her explanation realistic. "Every kid in this class was able to put a man's face in the father square. Aden seemed confused to see all of his friends talk about their fathers - hm - when did you adopt him ? Do you know his real parents ?"

"Real parents ?" Clarke asked sharply, offended. "If by that you mean birth parents, I am his birth mother. His biological father was my possessive high school exboyfriend. Do you really want me to tell my son he's the product of an abuse ?"

The teacher's face turned blank like an inkless sheet of paper. Lexa took Clarke's hand in her own to keep her from getting violent at the woman.

"I'm just saying," the teacher replied, her voice shaking a little, "every kid needs a father. They need a man to have a model, especially a little boy like Aden, he may become... unmanly without an example, I would advise you to -"

"My father left when he learnt about me," Madi cut her off. "I grew up alone with a mother who didn't care about me and used me as her personal punching bag. She ended up killing herself in front of me and I spent three months alone outside before Clarke and Lexa took me in. With all due respect, you're full of crap."

Mrs Samson opened her mouth in shock. How this young girl spoke ! Terribly, terribly ! How these women raised their children ! Terri -

"Madi, watch your language," Lexa called her out, even though the three Woods girls would all agree later on the fact that this teacher was a huge bitch. The CEO felt Clarke's hand hold hers tightly and she soothed her with a sweet caress of her thumb onto the back of the hand.

"My wife is Aden's second parent and it's not going to change," Clarke stated, coldly but without the hatred she was feeling toward the woman in front of her. "She adopted him when he was in his first year. She saved his life and now Aden has a stable home. If you doubt that, ask him."

She was done talking to the woman. She walked to her son and told him she'd come to his game this afternoon. They high fived and Clarke let Lexa adress a couple more words to the teacher before leaving.

* * *

They had dropped Madi at school after telling her she had spoken well to the teacher. The teenage girl may have been rude, but the old woman had been even ruder.

Clarke followed Lexa at work. She still had a desk in Lexa's office and used it to work on the Woods Fundation. Lexa and her had created it together but Clarke was the one in charge. Lexa helped her when she needed, but Woods Enterprises' CEO was busy enough with her first job, so she let Clarke handle the fundation.

Clarke was doing really well. With Luna's help, she had opened a big art center in town. There was a gallery part she used for the art pieces in sale, and a museum part where pieces of all town's artists could be seen. On her first gallery opening, Clarke had sold all her paintings. They told her story, sometimes implicitly for the hardest part, but still, they made you feel everything Clarke had felt, and both Lexa and Luna had been impressed by Clarke's works.

Today, Clarke had a new piece idea. But that was only because her heart was fueled by anxiety and sorrow. Something was on her mind, and she was scared. Terrified, actually. This morning's conversation about Aden was crushing her skull.

"Clarke," Lexa called her, once more.

"Hm ?" The blonde Woods wasn't paying much attention to her wife.

"Clarke, I'm talking to you."

"What !" Clarke yelled, standing up to stretch her legs and try to calm her heart down.

Lexa stared at her deeply, waiting for Clarke to pay attention to her. She easily knew when Clarke was bothered, it wasn't hard to tell, especially when Clarke started walking around your desk, playing with her hands in a very anxious way.

Clarke stopped walking, feeling Lexa's stare on her. _The stare_. She turned her head to look at her wife. How long until Lexa get mad at her ? _Huh_. She sighed, and spoke. "You remember when I was sick two months ago and I told you it was just a very bad cold ? It wasn't. The doctor told me my body played pregnant, and gave me hormones to bring it back to normal. I didn't even know it was possible for your body to think it's pregnant, but still, that made me think, how about we have another baby ? I can carry another child, I'm sure I could handle the pregnancy, and Madi and Aden would probably be okay with having a brother or a sis-"

"Stop it, Clarke," Lexa said firmly. Clarke looked at her with wide eyes. Lexa walked to her, laid a hand on her back and gently pushed her toward the couch. They sat, Clarke waiting for Lexa's answer with pain in her stomach.

"You can't just make another baby to make your worry about Aden go away," Lexa told her.

And Clarke looked down in shame. Lexa had guessed right away. But what was she supposed to do ? Aden will grow up and probably be mad at her for not telling him about his father !

"I can't tell Aden the truth about Finn..." she said, voice breaking, eyes filling with tears, "and I don't want him to meet him either. Finn isn't his father, he's the man who used me ! I don't want Aden to have anything to do with him !" A tear dropped on her cheek. She saw herself in ten years, when she won't be able to keep Aden from meeting his birth father, and her heart broke at the thought. She didn't know how Finn was today. She only knew he wasn't a good man for her son. "I won't be able to keep Aden from meeting Finn forever..." and she was terrified of the fact that Finn might want to get his revenge on Clarke using her son.

"We had a similar conversation about Madi," Lexa said, taking both of Clarke's hands in her own for the blonde to focus on her, "and she told us that she'd be very careful. If her birth father ever come to her she'd tell us and we'd protect her from him. And you know why she's aware of the fact that her father might look for her ? Because we talked to her about it. We don't have to tell Aden in which circumstances he was made, but we can at least tell him why we don't want him to search for his birth father."

And once again, Lexa was right. No matter what people said, Aden didn't have to meet Finn. Clarke had to tell him about this man and see what he thought of him. Maybe he wouldn't try to find him. maybe his two mothers and one sister were enough. Clarke hoped so.

"And forget about that other pregnancy," Lexa added, "you'd only put yourself in danger and you have a family and millions of people to help through your fundation."

Clarke laughed nervously. It's not that she didn't want to have another baby, but the doctor had told her that it would be a complicated pregnancy. If she was ready to try, she knew she wouldn't do it without Lexa's support, because the latter would be sickly worried for the whole nine months of pregnancy. Clarke had been sick for a while after giving birth on her own in her old car, and now she was fine Lexa didn't want her wife to play with her health.

"If we could have babies together though," Clarke replied with a smirk, "I'd still want you to make me one."

Lexa laughed and wrapped her arms around Clarke's waist, eyes filled with love and lust. "We can still try."

Clarke's smirk grew wider and she leaned onto Lexa to kiss her. Lexa's back met the couch and Clarke started unbuttoning her wife's shirt. "How long until your next meeting ?" Clarke asked between two kisses.

"Twenty minutes," Lexa answered, and Clarke laughed against her lips.

It was always twenty minutes. Not ten, not thirty, twenty. Clarke heard this sentence from Lexa so many times she was used to take exactly fifteen minutes to content Lexa. Fifteen minutes to go fast and slow at the same time. Enough time to make Lexa long for her.

She opened Lexa's pants and slipped a hand in it while she ran her lips and tongue over the brunette's chest. It was a good thing the office's windows were tinted, and the walls and doors were soundproof, because otherwise the couple would have been seen and heard doing some pretty nasty things all around the desk. Today, it was the sofa which was attacked. A brownish sofa Clarke had bought to get rid of the former hateable ugly cardinal red sofa.

Lexa grabbed Clarke's shirt, but she was shaking too much to be able to take it off, and Clarke freed her hands to help. They didn't have much time left, and Clarke knew Lexa liked having her against her skin after they were done. Clarke had only used ten minutes of their time to make Lexa fly and the brunette was already sweaty.

Shirtless, but her bra still on, she laid on her wife and attacked her neck with her lips. Feeling a pinch, Lexa gently pushed her back.

"Clarke, no hickies, or the council will focus on it and not on me," she complained with a tiny voice that made Clarke laugh.

Kissing her slowly, the blonde made her way from the tanned neck to the sweet lips and bit on it.

"The great Lexa Woods scared of hickies," she mocked, which she shouldn't have done, because Lexa rolled on her side, pushing Clarke down on the floor with her on top.

"Outch ?" Clarke complained, but it wasn't the first time Lexa harshly reversed their position. She wasn't hurt though, because Lexa was careful not to harm her.

"I'm not scared of making hickies," Lexa said before slipping her head in Clarke's neck.

Clarke let out a moan when she felt a strong pinch and tried to slide away from her wife. "Aden and the kids will see it !" she yelled. She felt Lexa's tongue licking the small bruise and chuckled. "you serious ? Let go !"

Lexa lifted her head and Clarke thought she was finally free, but instead of standing up Lexa attacked the other side of Clarke's neck. The blonde had seen the shadow of a smirk on her wife's lips before the latter's head disappeared again.

"LEXA !" Clarke screamed, and the brunette let go, her ear too close to Clarke's mouth to take any more risk.

They had to split up for now but they knew it wouldn't be for long. Lexa attended her meeting and Clarke stopped by the house to get a scarf and cover the bruises in her neck before she went to Aden's school to watch his game.

He played handball at school and was kick-boxing out of school. The latter sport was because of Lexa who, as Clarke always said, "constantly attacked him and nearly hurt him everytime, my poor little boy". Lexa always laughed at her wife for saying this because Aden was learning to defend himself and he would grow to be a great _asskicker_.

Clarke sat with the small bag she had brought for Aden. One bottle of water, one apple, one cereal bar, one chocolate bar, and in the front pocket, a small band-aid kit. When it came to her kids, Clarke was very cautious to have everything they might need with her.

The game went fast, and Clarke encouraged her son at every occasion, making Aden wave awkwardly at her for her to lower her voice a bit. His team won the game and Clarke was glad of it because they had lost two weeks ago and they needed to win this one if they wanted to get to the next pool.

"Maman ! We won !" He yelled, running to his mother. His teammates joined them and were as excited as him.

"Congrats ! You were great !" Clarke congratulated them.

They had a group hug, the other kids liking Clarke for her participation in the school activities, and then Aden was the only kid around Clarke.

"I failed my last goal by crossing the line," he pouted, a bit disappointed he didn't get to score this one.

Clarke pushed his sweaty hair back, smiling. His hair was short, never bothering him, until Clarke came and attacked it again. " 'maaaaaaaan," he complained, pushing her hand away.

His mother leaned, ate his cheek - getting another complaint from the much-loved kid - and sat down on the bench. "You were great, I mean it. That first goal was amazing !"

Aden sat down and grabbed the bag Clarke had brought her to swallow the bottle of water. His cheeks were bright red and Clarke took his chin with her fingers to make him look at her.

"Did you take your meds before the game ?" she asked him, obviously worried.

He freed his head from his mother's hand and nodded. "I haven't now though, my inhalor is with my stuff in the locker."

"Go get it," she told him, and the little boy stood up and ran away. "Not too fast !" Clarke yelled, and she heard Aden chuckle before he disappeared in the locker room.

He came back dressed up with his bag, ready to leave.

"Do your lungs burn ?" Clarke asked again, needing to make sure he was feeling okay.

"Oh la la, je vais bien Maman !" _I"m fine Mom !_ he shouted, and started walking toward the exit so his mother could understand he wanted to leave.

Clarke sighed and followed him. She knew she often did too much, but Aden was still her baby, and she always needed to make sure he was okay, because she would not forgive herself if anything happened to him.

She remembered the night she gave birth to him. She was alone, broken, and stuck in her old car witout the possibility to call help. She had nearly fainted because of the pain but had been able to hold on until her baby was out. And she saw him. She realized it was a boy. She realized she had a son. And it seemed so real her heart broke in a thousand pieces, because the tiny human being in her arms didn't deserve the life she had back then.

And now, here he was, in a car with her again, but a pretty car, one that smelled fresh, one they only used to travel from one point to another, not one they lived in, because they had a great house near the beach, a house they shared with two amazing girls.

"Maann, pourquoi tu pleures ?" _Mom, why are you crying ?_

Clarke noticed the tear falling down on her cheek and wiped it with her hand. They'd be home in a few minutes. Their home...

"Je vous aime très fort," she answered, "toi, Madi, Mom... je vous aime de tout mon coeur..." _I love you very much, you, Madi, Mom, I love you with all my heart..._

Aden stared at his mother from the backseat. He had already seen her like this before, but he always felt a weird pinch in chest everytime he did, and then his chest became warm and his heart was beating fast. He didn't know exactly how he was born, but he knew, somehow. He knew his mother had done the best and the worst for him.

"Je t'aime aussi Maman," _I love you too mom_ , "but I won't love Mom until she gives me back Bolide."

Clarke burst out of laughter. "What ? She stole it again ! I can't believe it, I told her to stop stealing your toys." She was laughing loudly, and Aden pouted. Bolide was his favorite car, and Lexa knew it, that's why she stole it and hid it somewhere.

Clarke stopped the car. They were the only ones home yet.

"When are Madi and Mom coming home ?" Aden asked, jumping out of the car to run inside the house.

Clarke walked, not feeling like running right now, and closed the door behind her. "Madi must be with her friends now but she told me she'd be back for dinner, and Mom should be back in two hours. She said today shouldn't be a tough day."

She followed her son in the kitchen and they both sat at the counter. Aden had to eat his snacks. Clarke gave him a glass of orange juice and made a coffee for herself.

"Do you have homework ?" she asked, and the boy nodded.

She let him eat and shower, then helped him with his homework. They would still have some time to play together before their two girls came home.

* * *

Lexa entered the house quietly. She smelled the sweet taste of food and slipped in the kitchen to find Clarke cooking, her back turned to her. Lexa slowly walked until she could finally wrap her wife in her arms.

Clarke jumped in surprise, but she wasn't scared, because she knew it was Lexa from the woman's delicious flagrance and the burning kisses the brunette was laying on her cheek. Clarke laid down on the counter what she had in hand and turned around, wrapping her arms around her wife.

"You haven't seen me in six hours," Clarke laughed at the way Lexa was acting as if they hadn't seen each other in a week.

"Well," Lexa leaned to still a kiss from her, "I did miss you." She brought her closer and silently slid her hand in her own pocket to pull something from it. "I've got something for you," she said, pulling back to give Clarke an envelope.

Clarke looked at it with brows furrowed and took it. Inside, she found a check at the name of her fundation. She looked at the donator and saw... "No way ! You got the deal with Veggies Side !"

Lexa smiled at her wife's excitement. Veggies Side was a big company selling fruits and vegetables in all forms all around the world. But it was a French company at first, and it mattered even more to Clarke to have a deal with them.

"Veggies Side is now your biggest partner. What they want in exchange of their support is for you to make their new design for their products. They want your art printed on their cans, boxes and bags. They also want to meet you to make a video of the reasons of your partnership as an ad."

Clarke couldn't believe it. Her fundation was already doing well, but with this new partnership food would be sent to millions of people around the world. People like who she was eight years ago, before she met Lexa.

She strangled Lexa in her arms and let go when she noticed how strongly she was holding her.

"I guess that's the perks of having a businesswoman as a wife," Clarke said. She kissed her one more time and remembered there was something in the oven. She took it out and, gladly, it wasn't burnt.

"I'm gonna set the table. Call the kids ?" she asked.

Lexa nodded and fetched their kids with a content smile on her face.

Aden was the first to sit at the table, his hair soaked with a mix of water and soap. Madi arrived right after, part of her shirt wet. She had come home thirty minutes ago and Clarke had asked her to check on Aden while he took a bath. He was used to do it alone now but if no one checked once in a while the bathroom became a swimming pool.

Madi looked tired and threw a death glare at her brother. "He can't even get out of a bath like normal people do ! He has to throw water everywhere !" she complained at her mother.

Clarke looked at one, then at the other, eyes like bubble. She saw water dropping on Aden's face from his hair and grabbed a tea towel to dry it. The boy complained and Clarke told him to stop moving.

"Madi, go change your shirt," she told her daughter. "Aden, stop moving or I'll ask Mom to make you stop !"

"Need me ?" Lexa came into the room. She had had to clean Aden's mess in the bathroom. When the kid saw her he stopped moving for Clarke to finish drying his hair.

Madi came back with a clean shirt and they could all have dinner together.

Shortly after, Aden asked for a game and Lexa was the first to offer one.

"Monopoly ?"

"Hell no !" Clarke yelled. "You're gonna take us down with your serious negociations and stuff, cheater !"

"I'm a businesswoman, that's what I do. I negociate," Lexa declared very calmly.

"We're not playing Monopoly." Clarke stated. "How about Scrabble ?"

This time, it was Lexa's turn to reject the idea. "You're gonna use french and aussie words no one knows ! And I'm the cheater ?"

Madi decided to cut short the argument. "How about we watch a show instead ?"

The two mothers stopped talking and accepted, though not without throwing death glares at each other that meant 'I'm gonna get you in your sleep'.

"Maaannnnn can we watch Doctor Who ?" Aden asked, dreaming about space and time travelling.

Clarke agreed and she sat on the couch, Aden jumping on it beside her. Madi sat and Lexa ended up on the other side of the couch. She started the 'Bad Wolf' episode and they all fell silent.

'Bad Wolf part Two', as Aden called it, ended and he was yelling for a part Three which he knew didn't exist.

"Aden, you know it's bed time. Go brush your teeth," Clarke ordered.

"Maaaan, one more, pleeeaaassee," he begged.

On the other side of the couch, Lexa turned her head toward her daughter, whom she looked at with a smirk. "Wanna get your revenge Madi ?"

Madi grinned and both girls stood up to go grab the begging boy.

"Aaah, get off !" he yelled while he was been carried up to the stairs. "Maaaaaaannnnnn !"

Clarke was keeping herself from laughing. Lexa, a wide smirk stretching her lips, asked Madi "So, how about we get his head freshened up in the toilets ?"

"Nooooooo !" Aden was wormmoving in his mother and sister arms, trying to free himself from their grasp.

"Maybe we should even try the kitchen sink," Madi added.

Aden yelled louder and Lexa stopped in the stairs, letting go of the laugh she was holding. She and Madi let go of Aden who went running to Clarke's arms. While the two girls came back laughing, Aden wrapped his arms around his mother's neck and looked defensively at the two others, his cheek against Clarke's.

Clarke laid a hand on his back to soothe him, even though she couldn't hold back a chuckle, which frustrated the boy who slipped away from her and ran upstairs.

"You were hard on him this time," Clarke reprimanded, though she was laughing.

"Well, it worked, he went to bed," Lexa said with a grin. "So, Madi, wanna watch another show before you go to sleep ?"

Being older than Aden, the teenage girl didn't go to bed as early as her brother.

"No, I've got to finish some homework," she answered, and hesitated a few seconds before adding "By the way, I've got a presentation to make in sociology class. It's about teenage suicide. I need to work through situations that might lead to suicide. I picked this theme in the list because, you know... my birth mother... but... I still need to figure out some stuff, and as I know you both have a tough past, I was thinking... maybe you could help me out ? I need to know if you ever thought of killing yourself before, why, and how you got through it."

"Sure," Clarke said, without further thought. She was used to think of her past as she had used it for her art. She had been telling her story for a while now, and she felt better speaking of it, even though she didn't tell the whole details.

"Not tonight, though, right ?" Lexa asked. Madi's homework would probably last at least two hours and there was still something Lexa wanted to tell Clarke.

"No," Madi chuckled, "not tonight. I'm gonna finish my history work and go to sleep." She turned around and walked toward the stairs, but she stopped on the first step. She looked back at her mothers and declared "I have a crush on a boy, good night ! Love you!" and she disappeared upstairs, leaving Lexa standing mouth opened in the living room.

Clarke burst out laughing on the couch. Lexa sat beside her, clearly shocked.

"She said the b-word," Lexa whispered.

Clarke grabbed her hand and started drawing the lines in it's palm. "It's just a crush, it may never become serious. And even if it does, Madi is responsible, she won't do anything stupid."

"Like have sex with a boy at fifteen ?" Lexa said with annoyance. Even though they adopted Madi when she was nine, Madi was their girl. They got along fast and Lexa felt like her little girl was sleeping away from her. Madi was already fifteen, in three years she'd be going to college, and that made Lexa feel weird, but imagining her little girl in the arms of someone, a _boy_ , who might hurt her ?

"I'm pretty sure she told us that just because she wanted to share her sexuality with us. She's discovering it. Now we know she's whether straight or bisexual," Clarke stated.

It calmed Lexa down but she still felt like kicking the ass of whoever hurt her family.

"I just hope she won't get tricked by a guy like Finn..." Lexa said, and Clarke reacted immediately.

"She won't. She trusts us, Lexa, we're not just her mothers, we're her friends. The ones who saved her from the street. That's why she told us she had a crush, she wanted us to know even if it's not easy to talk about."

Clarke was right, Lexa sighed. The brunette laid a head on Clarke's shoulder and enjoyed a peaceful moment, before remembering there was something she needed to tell Clarke.

She raised her head to be able to see Clarke's eyes. "I finished work earlier than I said today. I went to see the gynecologist. I already knew somehow, but... I could carry a child."

Clarke looked at her with wide fish eyes. Did Lexa want...

"I mean," Lexa corrected, "if you want another baby, I'd rather carry it than let you put yourself in danger."

Clarke's heart missed a beat. Lexa was already busy enough with her career and her family, but now she wanted to carry a baby ? Clarke knew Lexa never really wanted to be pregnant. She never thought of it, but she was considering it now Clarke had talked about having another baby.

"Lexa... you don't have to carry a baby for me... you were right, earlier, when you said I was too worried about Aden wanting to meet Finn. If... if in a while, we want another baby, we'll talk adoption. For now, let's focus on our two amazing kids." She dropped a kiss on Lexa's cheek and stood up. "I'm gonna talk to Aden about Finn. I... I need you with me. I want Aden to see that he'll always have us."

Lexa smiled and stood up, taking Clarke's hand in her own. "I think he already knows he has us," she laughed at what happened earlier, when she and her daughter had scared the poor kid.

Clarke chuckled and they climbed the stairs, though the blonde had to stop Lexa every two steps because the latter was poking her ass.

"Can you be serious ? It's not an easy conversation we're gonna have with our son," Clarke complained at the top of the stairs.

"Sorry I can't resist precious," Lexa answered with a smirk.

Clarke rolled her eyes and walked into her son's bedroom. She was too anxious to knock, and the boy quickly hid the game he was playing.

"Your mom and I have to talk to you," Clarke said, sitting on the edge of the bed.

Lexa followed, and Aden seemed surprised his mothers didn't say anything about him playing a game before going to sleep.

Clarke was trying to find the right words, and while searching Lexa slid under the blanket and lied beside Aden. The boy tried to push her off of his bed, still mad at her from earlier's scene, and she grinned.

"So, Aden..." Clarke started, but was cut off by Lexa.

"Do you want to meet your birth father ?"

Clarke's heart stopped. She thought she was going to die right here on her son's bed, but her heart started beating again, slowly, and she looked shocked while Aden looked surprised.

"You mean... the man who gave me part of his DNA like Clarke did ?" he said, remembering what Clarke had told him.

"Yep, that," Lexa answered, "do you feel like you need to know him ?"

Aden looked at his Mom with a skeptical frown. "Do I need to ?"

"No, no," Clarke intervened. "Look, honey, I'm worried. Your birth father wasn't quite the good man to me, but he's still your birth father, so if you ever want to meet him... please don't try to contact him on your own, alright ?"

"I don't even know who he is," Aden replied. "Plus, I don't know why I should. My friends always say their dads play football with them, and play fighting to, but I tell them I fight Mom and she's stronger anyway. Then they don't believe Mom is stronger than their dads so I show them your website and their like 'Whhooaaa your moms did that !' and I'm like 'Yeah they did and my sister and I are gonna be just as superstrong as them !'"

Lexa was smirking but not without awe in her eyes. Clarke, in front of them, had teary eyes. She stood up and walked around the bed to slip under the blanket beside Aden too.

"Well, sweetheart, if you ever change your mind about it, you come to us, alright ?" she told him, wrapping an arm around him.

They cuddled in silence for a few minutes. Aden loved his mothers, he loved hugs, but his bed was small and the more Clarke stayed the more she crushed him in her arms.

"Go away now," he said, "I wanna sleep and you're fat." His round blue eyes were judging Clarke and Lexa burst out laughing.

Clarke was ready to answer but the door opened, Madi coming in.

"You forgot your inhalor in the bath- what the hell ?" she stopped before the bed, staring at her family cuddling in bed.

"We're having a big family hug, wanna join ?" Lexa said, grinning.

Madi looked at them suspiciously, then ran and nearly jumped onto them. She settled between Lexa and Aden. Lexa was half off the bed and had to hold onto Madi not to fall.

They held on for a couple of minutes in silence before Lexa broke it by whispering into her daughter's ear.

"A crush on a boy, hm ?"

From the other side, Clarke and Aden could see Madi's cheeks reddening. Madi stood up awkwardly and Lexa fell on the ground.

"Outch," she complained.

"I'm going to sleep. Goonight guys," Madi said, heading out.

Clarke and Lexa hugged their son goodnight and left the room too.

"You asked her about her crush didn't you ?" Clarke asked.

Lexa didn't answer. She simply surrounded Clarke's waist with her arms and hugged her all the way up to their room. They fell onto the bed, exhausted.

"Do we still have that party at the mansion on saturday ?" Clarke asked, her back against the soft blanket.

"Yeah, Tris' eighteenth birthday. I can't believe Anya's children are so close to be adults now..."

"Madi isn't far from eighteen though... three little years..."

Lexa rolled onto Clarke and kissed her deeply. "The only thing I want to grow old is us together," she declared, and Clarke smiled at her overcute wife.

"You're caring, you only cheat in games, you work your ass off for all of us, your body is as well-shaped as your mind and you're hella good in bed, what else could I ask for ?"

Lexa smiled and kissed her again, her heart pounding. "What makes you think I only cheat in games ?"

Clarke chuckled and wrapped Lexa in her arms, her fingers drawing circles on the skin of the brunette's waist. "Because you can't lie to me for long." She smirked. "So you admit at cheating at Monopoly ?"

"Only if you admit at cheating at Scrabble."

They death stared for a minute before fading into a deep passionate kiss. They couldn't hate each other. Their first year had been so rough that since then it had basically been smut and fluff between them.

They settled properly under the blanket after taking their clothes off. Laying in Lexa's arms, Clarke looked at the painting on the wall in front of their bed. Clarke's best piece. Two shadows walking hand in hand on a dark path, sunray lighting a house on a hill, far, far away from them. But even though the sky had been clouded, and the path broken, Clarke and Lexa had made it to their refuge.

If you looked closely at the silhouettes, you could see small glints above the shadows' shoulders. Both womanly silhouettes were carrying one child.

Clarke felt her love's lips on her forehead, and Lexa's soft voice wished her goodnight.

"Goodnight, Lexa," she answered, moving her hand up to Lexa's cheek. One last look to the painting and she closed her eyes, laying her forehead against her wife's free cheek. "I love you," she declared before heading into a comfortable dream.

Lexa, whose eyes had been closed, opened them, a smile drawn on her face, and her eyes fell onto the painting in front of her. The name was carved into the wooden frame. _Unidentified..._ she read for the billionth time before closing her eyes again.

"I love you too," she murmured. She felt Clarke's happy sigh against her skin and joined her in the dreamworld.

Another night, among others, but not the last, nor the least. The Woods family was bonded forever, which proved that no matter how harsh the world was, happy endings did exist.


End file.
